Sunday Bookends: finding new authors (to me), my Marc Martel obsession, and The Mandalorian

I read Christian fiction, and write it (in a way), and I like a lot of it, but I will be the first to admit that some of it is cheesy, predictable and cringe-worthy. Maybe mine is too, but I digress. Sometimes I don’t mind the cheesy stuff but sometimes all the sweet, drippy tales grate on my nerves because they lack realism. Lately, though, I’m finding authors in the Christian fiction genre who don’t sugar coat. They write nitty-gritty, raw stuff but still get a Christian message across.

Chris Fabry, who my mom introduced me to, is one of those writers. I couldn’t get into the one book my mom suggested by him but when I opened Borders of the Heart I was hooked. The writing is fantastic and the action fastpaced, as if Fabry slammed his foot on the narrative accelerator and never let up. I like books that open up in the action or hook you in the first line and this one did that and then it did it again throughout. I have not finished the book yet, but I have a feeling I will by the end of this week. The plot of the book revolves around a man escaping heartache and finding a woman on the Mexican, Arizona border who is fleeing the Mexican drug cartel. This book is not for the faint of the heart as there are many difficult topics and scenes, including some more violent than I would have liked, though none were extremely graphic. The violence was necessary for the topic, unfortunately. (Although, by the fourth death I was like – I get the point. The bad guy is bad.

I love Fabry’s writing style. He creates poetry in his prose.

Some of my favorite lines include:

  • J.D. looked at Maria, her hair swirling in the hot wind. Like a vision of something that fell from heaven or crawled up from hell — he couldn’t tell which.
  • Thoughts and memories flowed together in a stream through his sleep-deprived mind, trickling over rocks and cutting some new channel. Water flows where it will and thoughts will do the same. He knew the trick was to simply surrender to the torrent. That’s when he could figure things out. If he followed his instincts, the words would come out in a song — not some paint-by-number approach to life, but something real and true and resonant.
  • And then she was gone. He reached for her but empty footprints filled the places where she should have walked. It was that moment he dreaded most, though he knew if she did not leave, he could not be surprised by her coming.
  •  If God had created a world without the possibility of choosing evil, there would have been no possibility of choosing love. 

I am about halfway through the book, so if you have read it, shhh…don’t tell me how it ends. I’ll let you know next week if the ending is living up to the beginning and middle.

My family now realizes I am obsessed with Marc Martel and I think they want to stage an intervention, but I’m on to them and won’t allow it. I’ve downloaded his independent EPs on Apple Music and can’t figure out why he doesn’t have a recording deal. I also may, or may not, have played his version of Unchained Melody several times, making my poor children listen as well.

Of course, I’m going to share it here (again) for you all to enjoy as well.

I didn’t watch any movies this week, instead watching old comedies like The Dick VanDyke Show to try to distract myself from the drama that is American Politics.  I needed something pure and light instead of something full of nastiness and vindictiveness.  We did finish up The Mandolorian’s first season, which we have enjoyed. I’m not the Star Wars fan that the rest of my family is, but I did enjoy this series, especially the addition of Baby Yoda, who I’m sure you’ve heard about, even if you don’t watch the show.

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My husband says the show is better than The Last Jedi.

In another attempt to distance myself from politics this week I had to unfollow several new blogs I had started following because they ranted in some very nasty ways about situations unfolding in our country. I escape to the blog world to get away from politics and I left social media to shut that garbage out. I’m not about to deal with it here as well.

This meme my son made and sent to me pretty much says it all about opinions and the internet these days:

I also didn’t write as much on the blog this past week, for some reason, but did manage a few posts, including:

Flash Fiction: Protest

Creatively Thinking: The Struggle of Claiming the Title Writer

The Day I Thought My Neighbor was Dead in his Backyard 

Fiction Friday: A New Beginning, Chapter 15

Apparently, my family did not enjoy the cold we all had two weeks ago and left us with lingering coughs.  This week they have been lining up and opening their mouths like little birds, waiting for their doses of elderberry syrup. My husband, who has never been sold on the natural remedies before this winter, has been the first in line. He discovered working 40 minutes from home and being sick is definitely not fun.

The weird weather we’ve been having has not really helped with people in our area getting sick. One week it was warm and muddy, this past week it was super cold and somewhat muddy. On Friday it was back to warm again and I’m hoping all this up and down doesn’t leave my oldest with sinus issues like it normally does.

When the weather warmed up slightly, I forced the kids outside to get some fresh air and stave off cabin fever. We currently have two small snowmen in our freezers that my daughter carried in and begged me to save.

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So, how was your week? Read any good books? Watch anything good? Let me know in the comments!

 

Fiction Friday: “A New Beginning” Chapter 15

I just wanted to take a moment to thank all those who have been following A New Beginning, whether you comment or not. I know I tease those who comment sometimes (like joking with those who “complained” about there being cliffhangers) but I hope it’s never misunderstood how much I appreciate your likes, comments and even views. Writing is an escape for me. Much like photography and blogging, it has been a lifeline for me during my most depressed or stressful times in life. The fact that others are enjoying what I’m writing means more to me than many of you will ever know.  The fact that others tell me they actually care about what I’m writing is an added bonus.

You can find more about the first book about Blanche at the link at the top of the page, along with an excerpt. It is available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.

If you have read it there and liked it, I’d love if you leave me a review or share it with others on your blog or social media. For those who read the story when it was on the blog, I did add to it, change a few things and tighten a few others. I even changed the first paragraph to allow for an immediate jump into the action.


Light, Shadows & Magic (2)Chapter 15

The sound of the phone ringing downstairs woke me from a sound sleep. I stared at the clock, groggy and disoriented.

2 p.m. I’d slept through half the day.

“Blanche! Are you awake honey?” Mama called from the bottom of the stairs.

“Am I downstairs?” I mumbled to myself. “Then I’m not awake.”

“Yes!” I called, trying to sound cheerful. “Just now.”

“Thomas from the paper is on the phone.”

I stumbled down the stairs, completely uninterested in talking to anyone, let alone Thomas Fairchild, after the day and night I’d had the day before.

“Hey, Robbins. I hear you had an exciting day yesterday.”

“Yes. How did you hear?”

“I’m a journalist. I know all.” Thomas laughed. “Seriously, I overheard Emmy’s mom at the post office this morning. I wanted to know if you’d let me interview you for a story I’m working on it. It’s going to tie in with our coverage of Sam being shot.”

Interview me? Why me?

“Uh…. I don’t think so. I’m not really….”

“You’re the happy part of the story, Blanche,” Thomas interrupted. “The inspirational, heart-wrenching part. The part that breaks up the depressing news in the paper. The part that sells papers, as Stanley would say.”

“Listen, Thomas, I just woke up, I was up all night and I haven’t even checked in to see how Sam or Emmy are yet . . .”

“I called the hospital this morning,” Thomas said. “Emmy and the baby are great and Sam is in stable condition after the surgery. So how about you meet me at the Twilight Rose Café down the street from the hospital and then go check on them? We’ll discuss the story and see if you want to be a part of it or not.”

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. Apparently, nothing I said was going to deter Thomas from pursuing an interview with me. Stanley hadn’t changed from calling him his “cub reporter” to his “bulldog reporter” for nothing.

“I’ll meet you at 3:30 at the café,” I said with a yawn.

When I reached the café, Thomas was sitting at a table in the back corner of the café, wearing a polo shirt and a pair of khaki pants, scribbling away in a notebook and sipping coffee from a paper cup. He looked like a stereotypical newspaper reporter: handsome, well-dressed and preoccupied with the story he was after. His blond hair was cut slightly shorter than the first time I had met him but still left enough bangs so he still had to flip his head back to move them out of his eyes.

“Hey, there, hero,” he said as I approached his table, motioning to the chair across from him. “You look pretty good for someone who was up all night.”

I yawned as I sat down and looked at him through bleary eyes. “I’m barely functioning,” I said.

“So, listen, I know you don’t want to let me interview you, but people love these heartfelt stories. It’s a nice break from the hard, sad news and politics. And besides, you owe me. I got you that job writing feature stories for us.”

I laughed. “I haven’t even decided if I’m going to take that job.”

Thomas waved to the woman behind the counter. “Hey, Annie, a cup of coffee for my friend here and a couple of raspberry scones.”

“I don’t really drink coffee.”

“Yeah, but you need some,” Thomas said. “And you’re going to take that job. The world – or at least our little area of it – needs Blanche Robbins writing stories for them. They may not know it yet, but they do.”

The waitress placed two scones and a mug of coffee in front of me. She wore her dark hair in a tight ponytail and her full lips were highlighted with bright red lipstick. A blue sweater and short black skirt fit nicely on her slender form.

“Thanks, Annie,” Thomas said with a wink.

I glanced at the waitress and suddenly realized I knew her. It was Annie Tanner, a mother of three who had gotten pregnant in high school and married Billy Tanner, much to the disapproval of the ladies in my sewing circle.

I watched Thomas’ eyes follow Annie as she walked away. He grinned at me. “She’s nice to look at at the end of a workday. Or the beginning. Or even in the middle.”

I rolled my eyes. “She’s the mother of three and married you know.”

Thomas shrugged and poured creamer in his coffee as he smirked at me. “Doesn’t mean I can’t admire what I can not have.”

He broke a piece of his scone off. “You know I enjoy watching you when you leave too.”

I felt my face grow warm and looked at the top of the table. “Thomas, I am much too tired for your teasing today.”

“I’m not teasing,” Thomas said. “And, hey, maybe we can count this as that date I asked you out on a couple years ago.”

“Uh, no we can’t.”

Thomas sighed. “You’re no fun, Blanche. Fine, no date. But at least make this trip worth my while and agree to let me interview you and tell the community a heart-lifting story that could have been a tragedy.”

I relented to the interview, anything that would let me return home to my family and my bed quicker.

“Just don’t make me sound like some hero, Thomas. I just did what I had to do,” I said as he pulled out his notepad and pen.

Thomas grinned. “I’m pretty sure that’s what all heroes say. ‘I just did what I had to do.’

I rolled my eyes and tossed a napkin at him playfully.

When the interview was done, I asked Thomas if the paper had been told anything about the man who shot Sam.

“Yeah, some guy in a junkyard up in the corner of the county close to the New York state border. Sam was trying to bring him in for burglary. Coward shot Sam from behind and took off. The cops are looking for him today. I’ll be heading up to the barracks later today to see what else I can find out. Derrick is working on the story too.”

He leaned back and draped his arm over the back of the chair. “So, what’s your story, Blanche? Is reporting something you’ve always wanted to do?”

I sipped the coffee and winced. I hated coffee. Why did I keep letting men tell me I needed it?

“No. I don’t really want to be a reporter. I just like to write.”

“Well, you’ll have to do a little researching and reporting for any writing you do, so this job will be good training for that.” Thomas grinned again. His grin was getting on my nerves and I wasn’t sure if it was my lack of sleep or just him.

I looked at the coffee, stirring in creamer and sugar, wishing I was at home and asleep in bed.

“My main job is being a mom, Thomas. Not writing. You do know I’m a mom right?”

Thomas was still grinning as he sipped his coffee. “I’ve read your columns, Blanche. I know you’re a mother.

“So, tell me, Thomas, how did you even get into reporting? Is it something you always wanted to do?”

Thomas broke off another piece of the scone, tipped his head back and dropped it in his mouth. “Yeah. I mean, I haven’t always wanted to do it. When I was five I wanted to be a firefighter, but I guess you could say it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I always imagined myself somewhere with a lot higher circulation, though. Maybe national. I started in Philadelphia, interned at the city paper there, but didn’t get offered a job. Uncle Stanley offered me a job here for some experience, so here I am.”

“Stanley’s your uncle?”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t like to tell a lot of people, so it doesn’t look like he’s playing favorites,” Thomas said.

I picked up the scone, realizing how hungry I actually was.

“So, your uncle,” I said, realizing this might be my chance to learn a little more about the man who wanted to date Marion. “Was he ever married before?”

Thomas leaned forward slightly, letting out a breath leaning his elbows on the table. For once his gestures lacked the cocky swagger. His expression was hard to read as he looked up at me.

“Yeah,” he said softly, tapping the eraser end of the pencil on the tabletop, his expression somewhat distant. “He was. To my Aunt Margaret. She was my dad’s sister.” He cleared his throat. “She died when I was about 12. Cancer. I was very close to her. It was hard on the whole family, of course, but . . . yeah..well, anyhow, Stanley was shattered. A year or so after she passed he was looking for a way out of town, saw this job advertised in the papers back home and grabbed the chance to try to run away from the memories.”

He swallowed hard and coughed softly.

It was the first time since I’d met Thomas that I’d seen him look serious about anything.

“Anyhow,” he said, twirling the pencil on the table. “It’s been nice knowing someone in the business who can help me learn the ropes and it’s been nice to be around Uncle Stanley again too.”

He shrugged. “Plus, I’ve grown to like this tiny county and the people in it.”

He smiled and winked, the cocky attitude I was familiar with returning for a supporting role to his more serious tone. “Including you. Even if you won’t go out with me.”

I leaned back, studying Thomas for a moment as he ate the rest of the scone and sipped his coffee. I wondered if I had misjudged him the last couple of years I’d known him. Maybe he wasn’t the one-dimensional, arrogant, flirting playboy I’d thought he was.

“Hey,” he said, looking over my shoulder. “Speak of the devil. Someone else must have had the same idea about meeting here today.”

I turned to see Stanley and Marion sitting down at a table near the entrance. Marion looked nervous, her hair pulled back and pinned up on top of her head. The blue dress she wore fit modestly on her slender form and matched nicely with the stylish black heels. I smiled as I saw she’d taken my advice on the outfit and the hairstyle.

“Good for Uncle Stanley,” Thomas said, softly chuckling. “It’s about time he got back on the dating scene.”

I turned back around and took another bite of my scone.

“Do you know the woman?” he asked. “I’ve seen her around but not sure I’ve ever met her.”

“She’s my former mother-in-law.”

“Really?”

“Yep. My ex’s long-suffering mother and I’m very happy to see her out enjoying life again. Her husband died a few years ago. My ex doesn’t have any contact with her and her other son rarely stops in to see her even though he lives a couple counties away.”

I decided not to mention my initial misgivings about her going on a date with Stanley.

“I hope they find some joy together,” Thomas said, watching them. “Even if it’s just in getting back out into the world again.”

I looked over Thomas’ shoulder. “Is that a back door? Maybe we can sneak out before they see us. I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable.”

“Yeah,” Thomas said following my gaze. “I think it is and that’s a good idea. Come on, I’ll pay and we’ll sneak out. Let the old folks have a little privacy.”

I squinted against the sunlight outside, my eyes heavy, from never fully waking up. I wasn’t as familiar with the town of Sawyer as I was with Dalton and I looked down the street at picturesque shops and a row of old fashion gas street lamps lining Main Street, feeling as if I had stepped back in time in some ways.

“Want to take a walk before you head over to check on Emmy and Sam?” Thomas asked. “There’s a spot by the river I think you’d like.”

We buttoned our coats, pulled on our hats and started to walk.

The walkway along the river paralleled Main Street and took us down under the large bridge that crossed the Susquehanna River and brought visitors to Sawyer from the main highway to the main part of town. Flowers, trees, and well-kept hedges had been planted along the walkway and even with the flowers not in bloom the landscaping was eye-catching.

“I don’t think I’ve ever walked this way,” I said. “I didn’t even know this view was here.”

Thomas winked, sipping the coffee he’d carried with him from the shop. “That’s why I’m here – to help you explore the beauty that is around you.” He gestured his arms out over the view of the river. “Look upon the beauty that is our lovely county, nestled here in the rolling green hills of Pennsylvania or as some call those hills – ‘the Endless Mountains’.”

“I know what these mountains are called, Thomas,” I said. “I’ve lived here all my life you know.”

“Ah, yes,” he said, sitting on a wooden bench and leaning back. “Are you sure that’s something you want to announce to the world? That you’ve always lived in one place and never explored life outside your tiny bubble?”

He patted the bench next to him and I sat on the end of the bench and watched a hawk fly over the water toward the opposite shore.

“I haven’t always lived here,” I said. “I was gone for a few years at least.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I lived in New York state for a while with my ex.”

“I heard before that you had an ex,” Thomas said. “So, tell me about this ex. What kind of man left you to raise your little boy by yourself? I know I seem like a huge flirt who shuns responsibility but even I know that’s a garbage move.”

I shook my head, knowing I didn’t want to talk about Hank, that I was tired of talking and thinking about Hank.

“We were just too young.”

I could feel Thomas’ eyes on me. “He really hurt you, didn’t he?”

I leaned back on the bench and nodded. “Yeah. In more ways than one.”

Thomas sighed and sipped from the coffee cup.

“I moved up here after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me,” he said bluntly.

He laughed softly, shaking his head. “Man, she did a number on me. We shared everything, dated since 10th grade. She was sweet, beautiful, and smart. I never thought  . . . well, anyhow. We were young too. Maybe I was just too cocky, ignored her too much during college. I don’t know. I never expected her to run off with my best friend but when she did it woke me up pretty good.”

He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. “Maybe you’ve figured out by now my cocky attitude is a cover up in some ways.”

I smirked. “What, like underneath it all you’re a sweet, hurt little boy?”

I immediately regretted the comment, knowing the lack of sleep was only heightening my tendency to be snarky.

Thomas winced. “Ouch. You’re savage today, aren’t you?”

“Sorry. I – you just joke a lot and I was just – sorry.”

Thomas grinned and blew a kiss at me. “No worries. I like a savage woman.”

“Thomas. . .”

He tipped his head back and laughed, his nose crinkling.

“I love flirting with you. You resist it so strongly. It’s fun to watch you squirm. Seriously, though, most of this really is a cover. I’m not as smarmy as I seem and I don’t really pursue women the way I pretend. I’m good with being single right now. Maybe someday – but for now? I’m focusing on my career, on writing a book, and on getting to know nice people in this county like you.”

I watched him warily but didn’t see the normal swagger in his body language, the playful grin normally there. His expression was serious, his mannerisms relaxed and friendly.

“Don’t take this the wrong way but do you find it hard to let people in?” Thomas asked. He leaned back against the bench again, stretching his arm across the back of it.

“Because honestly,” he said, before I could answer the question. “I do. I don’t like the idea of opening myself up, only to be hurt. I’d have to imagine that’s even harder for you and what you’ve probably been through.”

I watched the hawk land on the spindly branch of a tree and wondered how vulnerable I truly wanted to be with a man I’d only ever known to be flippant and flirty before today. I cleared my throat.

“Yes,” I said finally. “It is hard. And it’s scary but it’s even harder for me because I have Jackson to protect.”

“Ah, yeah,” Thomas said with a quick nod. “That would be a challenge. Keeping a wall around yourself is one thing but you and your child? That’s an entirely different ball game. Like, you can keep yourself all locked up inside, but the danger of causing your son to be afraid to love too? I wouldn’t want that responsibility at all.”

I scowled at Thomas. “Well, thanks. I hadn’t thought of it that way before.”

Thomas laughed softly, cleared his throat and stood. “So, anyhooo…maybe we should head back up to our cars and you should go see Emmy and Sam before I stick my foot in my mouth again.”

Thomas opened the door to Daddy’s Olds for me when we reached the street. “Think about that job, okay, Blanche?” he said. “I think you’d be good at it. Truly.”

“I’ll think about it,” I said, sliding behind the steering wheel.

He closed the door and peered through the window. “Good. And thank you for the walk.” My muscles tensed as he leaned through the window and kissed my cheek.

He leaned back slightly and looked me in the eye. “Don’t be afraid to live again, Blanche. Don’t let that jerk take that away from you. From what I’ve heard and what you said today, he doesn’t deserve to have that power over you.”

Driving down the street toward the hospital, I knew Thomas was right. Hank Hakes was still living in my head, still controlling me from the inside. I had to find a way to take that control back, live life without the fear of being hurt the same way I’d been hurt by Hank.

The day I thought my neighbor was dead in his backyard

The day I thought my elderly neighbor died in his backyard it was excruciatingly hot. We had been receiving excessive heat warnings throughout the week. I can see my neighbor’s backyard from our enclosed back porch and that day I had let our dog outside a few times.

Each time I opened the door I saw Mr. Maroni trimming his bushes, mowing his lawn, and then pruning a tree on the far side of the yard.  I worried about him. After all, he was in his 80s and out in the heat, working hard. He had taken his shirt off at one point, which wasn’t necessarily fun to look at, considering his age, but at least he was staying cool.’

We had a small dog back then who thought he needed to go into the yard repeatedly to bark at Mr. Maroni or a passing dog or birds, or, well, anything at all. Late in the afternoon I opened the door to let the dog out and looked up to see Mr. Maroni sitting on the bench under his tree with his arms stretched across the back of the bench, his head tipped forward and his eyes closed.

The bench and tree was across the yard so I couldn’t see if his eyes were open or closed but I knew his head was tipped back and he wasn’t moving. I decided he must have been simply resting and went back into the relief of the air conditioning. When I went back to let the dog in, Mr. Maroni was still there.

No big deal. It had only been a few moments.

But when Mr. Maroni was still there, unmoved, a half an hour later, I began to think the worst.

Oh my gosh. He’s died. He sat down and had a heart attack from all the heat,” I thought. Yes, I thought the man had had a heart attack and looked that peaceful.

I called my husband at work.

“I think Mr. Maroni died.”

“I’m sorry?”

“He’s in the backyard and he isn’t moving.”

“He’s laying in the backyard and isn’t moving?”

“Well, no, he’s sitting on the bench, but he isn’t moving.”

“Call 911,” my husband said.

“I’m not calling 911. What if he really isn’t dead?”

My husband sighed one of his long heavy sighs he sighs when I’m being crazy (which is often).

“Well, go see if he’s dead.”

“How do I check?”

“Yell over to him and see if he responds.”

Oh. Right. Why hadn’t I thought of this?

I kept my husband on the phone, walked to our back fence and yelled over to Mr. Maroni.

“Jack? Jack? Are you okay?”

No response. No movement.

Oh my gosh. He’s dead.

“Go into his yard and poke him,” my husband said.

“I’m sorry?”

“Go over and poke him.”

“Poke him with what?!”

“I don’t know! With a stick. Go poke him with a stick.”

This is ridiculous, I thought.

“I’ve got to go back to work. Call me back if he doesn’t move.”

My husband hung up and I walked around the outside of our fence toward the neighbor’s gate.

Poke him? Seriously? What if I poke him and he isn’t dead but he has a heart attack from me poking him and waking him up? Then I will have killed our neighbor! What if I poke him and he is dead and he falls off the bench. Oh my gosh.

By the time I had walked all the way around our house and along our fence, Mr. Maroni was standing at the end of his yard close to our fence gathering his yard tools. I almost screamed in shock.

I also almost yelled, “You’re alive!”

But instead, I said, “Oh, hi! I was just checking on you. I saw you sitting on your bench and just wanted to be sure you didn’t have heatstroke.”

In my head, I thought, “I wanted to be sure you hadn’t died.”

Mr. Maroni just laughed, then sheepishly admitted, “Well, I did fall asleep over there, but no heat stroke, thankfully.”

Back in the house, I called my husband.

“He’s alive.”

“Yeah, I thought he was.”

Jack and his wife no longer live in the house behind us but that memory is one of many I have of them; a memory that makes me laugh every time I think of it.

 

 

 

 

Creatively Thinking: The struggle of claiming the title “writer”

Writing a book is weird and hard. I know..not hard like farming or construction or being a doctor or a police officer. I don’t mean that, of course. I mean, it’s mentally draining and it’s full of a lot of self-doubts, even if you’re just doing it mainly for fun like I am.

I am at the tail end of the first draft of ‘A New Beginning‘ and it is kicking my brain to the curb. I stare into space, trying to work out an issue I’m having with it or writing a scene in my head while I’m cooking dinner or a kid wants to show me something. It’s a bit like being stuck in a self-made prison and even when you try to escape it, your muse or whatever it is comes back and whispers “Hey! I have another idea! Let’s go write!” That is all fun and aggravating at the same time. Why won’t my creative muse pick a different time to try to inspire me.

I could completely relate to the author in Stranger Than Fiction, which we watched this week because I saw me in her tortured behavior as she tried to finish her book, without the extra alcohol and cigarettes. Writers don’t just write because they like it or they want others to read it.

Stranger Than Fiction

They write because they have to, because if they don’t it will gnaw at their insides until they are raw and aching for release or numb and depressed, begging to be put out of their misery. It’s like a painter or a photographer or anyone who creates in some way.

They have to create or their spirit wilts from the lack of artistic, creative stimulation. When you are a creative person, you can only wash so many dishes, cook so many meals, sweep so many floors, milk so many cows, assemble so many parts for cars or machines, before your spirit screams at you to breathe life into it again.

You have to do all those mundane things of life, of course, and sometimes you don’t mind doing them, but sometimes you need to do something creative as well.

I made my living as a writer for 14 years or so, but never really called myself a writer. That’s weird, I know. I still don’t call myself a writer. I’m not really that good, I tell myself. Slapping a label on myself like “I’m a photographer” or “I’m a writer” feels weird. I can easily say “I’m a mom,” because I have the kids to prove it. I can say, “I’m a wife,” because I have the husband to prove it.

Art, though, is subjective. I can feel like a writer or a photographer or an artist but until someone says I am, I’m not, or at least that’s what I think some days.

Last week, sitting by the tub, waiting for my daughter to finish one of her epic-long baths, I rambled out loud my debate about enrolling my one and only book in Kindle Unlimited or not, as if a 5-year old cares.

“I like your job, Mama,” my daughter said.

“What job?” I asked, since I, and the state of Pennsylvania, think of myself as “unemployed.” It says so, right on our taxes: unemployed, which in the United States also seems to mean “uninteresting, unimportant and unworthy.”

“You’re writing job,” she said with a grin, spinning in the water. “You’re a writer.”

Oh.

My 5-year old thinks I’m a writer and, in the end, what my family thinks is all that matters anyhow.

Flash Fiction: Protest

Fern watched her father gathering his winter clothes together.

“Dad, you’re not going to that protest are you?”

“It’s not a protest, it’s a rally,” he said with a sigh, pulling his woolen har down on his head over his ears.

“But it’s 21 degrees out and you’re — ”

“I know, I’m 78 but age shouldn’t stop me from standing up for those who can’t stand up for themselves.”

Fern sighed, shaking her head. “Okay, Dad, but I better not get a call from the police that you and Nancy have chained yourselves to the courthouse steps again.”


This is part of the Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Prompt

January 16, 2019, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a protest story. It can be about a protest, or you can investigate the word and expand the idea. Who is protesting, where, and why? Go where the prompt leads!

Respond by January 21, 2019. Use the comment section below to share, read, and be social. You may leave a link, pingback, or story in the comments. If you want to be published in the weekly collection, please use the form.  Rules & Guidelines.

Sunday bookends: A trinity of movies, winter depression, and ready to burn the house down

Desperate to stave off the deep depression that normally besets me during winter, I’ve been burying myself in movies and books and writing this past week or so.

I watched two movies and a mini-series this past week (in between waiting on children and letting a dog in and out the back door, cooking, suffering with a cold, petting the cat, and pondering our earthly existence) and continued reading The Cat Who Lived High, slowly since I couldn’t see through the watery eyes from the cold earlier this week.

51tIxEH0QoLWith my eyes a little better I’m back to reading a little more and have added The Misadventured Summer of Tumbleweed Thompson by Glen McCarthy, an independently published book for middle school-aged children, to my reading list (again). It is so creatively written and I tried reading it to my daughter since I’m much better at Southern accents than British ones, but she rejected it and asked for Paddington again for her nighttime reading.  In case you are interested in finding out a little bit more about the book, here is the blurb on Amazon: For Eugene Appleton, the summer of 1876 in Rattlesnake Junction, Colorado promises to be just as sleepy as the ones before, his only excitement provided by the pulse-pounding Dead-Eye Dan adventure novels he devours. But Eugene’s life takes an unexpected turn with the arrival of Tumbleweed Thompson, a gangly, red-haired boy who spins yarns about whaling voyages in the Atlantic and hidden stashes of gunpowder. Drawn into Tumbleweed’s orbit, Eugene soon finds himself chasing smugglers, firing rifles, and competing for the attention of the lovely Charlotte Scoggins.”

I also rambled in some blog posts about a bunch of things because this blog is called Boondock Ramblings. I’ll link to those at the bottom of the page.

MV5BYjBkOTZlNmYtN2NjOS00YWM2LTk0MzMtOTEwMmIyNWIwMDA5XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNjg3MDMxNzU@._V1_After seeing a preview for Wild Rose at one of the only movies I saw in the theater this year (Brittany Runs a Marathon, which was pretty good, but not my favorite.), I was interested to see it when it popped up on Amazon. The movie is about a young Scottish woman who wants to become a country singer in Nashville but lets her temper and her propensity for alcohol to get in her way. Her other issue is that she is a young, single mother with two children. The movie opens with her being released from jail and returning home where her mother has been raising her children for the last year.

Without spoiling anything, the movie does not take the darker paths I thought it would and it does not end the way I thought it would either. It was rated R and with that rating, I thought dark scenes would abound, but thankfully, they didn’t.  I don’t watch too many rated R movies and in case you are curious, this one is rated R because the main character, Rose-Lynn Haran likes to use the “F” word a lot. In other words, I watched this one on my laptop with the earphones in so my children couldn’t hear it. I also watched it with close captioning because I’m not Scottish and their accents were very thick.

(Incidentally, my husband has been watching old Siskel and Ebert episodes on YouTube and because of that when I share my thoughts about a movie lately I hear Roger Ebert in my head. Is that weird? Yeah. I knew it was.)

Next up on my list Jane Eyre, for some reason, I have no idea why. I guess I was looking for something different to watch while I blew my nose all day long Tuesday and got caught up in it. Like many movies based on either Charlotte Bronte or Jane Austin books, there are about 1,000 movie versions of this story, but this series was from the BBC in 2006. It starred some British guy and some British girl I’d never heard of. (Okay, I looked it up instead of being lazy… it was Ruth Wilson and Toby Stephens). I have never read the book (I know. I’m sad) but for some reason, the story was very familiar to me when I got to the end.

It’s possible I had seen a movie version of it before or heard the story somehow I suppose. As far as plot, Jane Eyre is a bit bizarre, but the actors in it won me over and I had to keep watching to see how it all turned out.

On the recommendation of my brother, I watched Stranger Than Fiction (on my phone, in case of bad language or scenes) and then made the rest of the family watch it a couple of days later. Starring Will Ferrell, Dustin Hoffman, Molly Gyllenhaal, and Emma Thompson, it came out in 2006, but I’d never heard of it, probably because in 2006 I was busy with a newborn and working full-time at the newspaper. The movie is about an IRS agent who begins to realize someone is narrating his life and he needs to find a way to stop the narrator when she announces she plans to kill him.

I could relate to the author in the movie as she struggles to complete the book she is working on, her first fiction novel in ten years. She was part of my inspiration for an upcoming blog post about the mental torture writing fiction can be.

In the midst of contracting my son’s cold (which is no surprise since he came over to talk to me one day and had an uncontrollable coughing fit  . . . in my face.), winter came back with a vengeance – frigid temperatures, snow and all.  So, here I sit on Saturday, writing this post while snow swirls around the house and wind slams it against our windows. I’m writing this in-between cleaning the house for yet another house showing tomorrow. This is our tenth and I’m pretty much ready to burn the house down at this point to get rid of it. Of course, I am absolutely not serious, but there are days the thought has crossed my mind.

As for blogging this week:

I shared a flash fiction entitled “Carrying Out His Wife.”;

Shared a guest blog post by Lisa at The Manitoba Mom Blog;

Shared aRound-up of Blog Posts from around the blogosphere;

Chapter 13 of A New Beginning;

Chapter 14 of A New Beginning;

Remembering Truett, in honor of TobyMac’s son, who passed away suddenly at 21 a couple of months ago.

This post is part of Readerbuzz’s Sunday Salon.

So, how about you? What have you been up to this past week? Let me know in the comments!

 

Remembering Truett

I have been listening to TobyMac in one form or another since the early 1990s.

His son Truett was on a couple of his albums and when I heard Truett had died recently, I was completely shocked, as many TobyMac fans were. I still don’t know the details around Truett’s death, but I can’t imagine the pain Toby is in. He released a song about his struggles dealing with his oldest son’s death this week. I thought I’d share it here and follow it with a couple of happier songs from TobyMac, in case you aren’t familiar with him.

Toby is part of the Christian rock group DC Talk, which was huge in the 2000s and then when the band parted ways, he started his own solo career.

And some old school for ya’…

Fiction Friday: A New Beginning Chapter 14

Here we are to Fiction Friday already. I doubled up again on chapters this week (so Chapter 13 was posted yesterday) but will be back to one a week next week as I work out some kinks in upcoming chapters. I already know most of my ending and some in between but there remains a large gap in the middle to finish writing. It isn’t so much that I don’t know what I want to do in the middle but in what order I want to do it. I’ll be hammering that out in the coming weeks.

As always, you can find the other links to this novel in progress at the top of the page under “A New Beginning” or at THIS LINK.

Also as always, there will be typos in this story or other errors because I still have a second draft, rewrite and editing process to go through. I simply share the chapters here for fun and to interact with other writers/readers/bloggers.

The first part of Blanche’s story can also be found on Kindle or Kindle Unlimited.


Chapter 14

I winced at the bitter taste of the coffee from the styrofoam cup Judson handed me. Emmy’s parents were dozing in chairs in Emmy’s room, Daddy and Jimmy had gone home to rest and update Mama and Edith. Judson and I were sitting in the surgical waiting room, waiting for news about Sam, who was in surgery to remove a bullet that had lodged near his spine when he was shot. Sam’s parents were on their way to the hospital from their home in Maryland.

I closed my eyes briefly and tried to forget about the exhausted sobs Emmy choked out when her mom told her about Sam.

She’d clung to me, sobbing against my shoulder as I promised to wait for the doctor to come out of surgery.

“Oh, Blanche,” she whimpered. “I can’t lose him. I love him so much.

She’d eventually fallen into a fitful sleep while the nurses and her parents cared for Faith. I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around the events of the day. I ached to be home with Jackson, holding him close, but knew Emmy and Sam needed me.

I pressed my fingers against my eyes and tipped my head back against the hard back of the hospital chair.

“You okay?” Judson asked.

I nodded, but kept my eyes closed. “Long day. That’s all.”

“Emmy said you were amazing delivering the baby.”

“I just did what I had to do.”

“Blanche, without you, Faith might not be alive.”

I opened my eyes to look at Judson.

“I really didn’t think she was going to,” I admitted, my voice cracking. “It was a miracle.”

“Yeah, it truly was,” Judson said softly.

He leaned back on the couch, laying one arm across the back. He laughed softly as he looked down into his cup of coffee.

“It’s so crazy to think of little Emmy being a mom,” he said. “I keep thinking of her with her pigtails and dirty bare feet, running along the beach on vacation. One time she tripped and fell straight on her face and came up with a mouthful of sand. It was pretty hilarious. I was such a jerk back then. I didn’t even help her up. Just stood there laughing and pointing until my sides hurt. I was probably 12. She must have been …” he though a moment. “Nine I guess.” He shook his head. “Now here she is, all grown up, a wife and mom. Crazy. And here I am feeling like the immature kid who never grew up.”

Silence settled over us until all I could hear was the sound of nurses walking in the hallway and the beep of machines in the rooms of patients.

The enormity of the birth, the blown tire, Sam being shot – it suddenly all hit me at once and I closed my eyes again and turned my face away from Judson, swallowing the emotion.

“It’s okay to cry,” Judson said.

I shook my head and kept my eyes closed.

“No, it’s not.” I bit my lip, my face still turned away from his. “Because if I start, I don’t know if I’ll stop.”

Judson sighed heavily.

“You don’t always have to be so tough, you know.”

I slipped into the familiar comfort of emotional numbness, the urge to cry fading . “I used to be soft. It didn’t work so well for me.”

Judson sipped from his coffee and held it between his hands as he propped his elbows on his knees. “So, you just don’t feel anymore?”

My jaw tightened and I opened my eyes, feeling suddenly annoyed, lifting my head to look at him. I folded my arms right across my chest.

“I feel. I just don’t broadcast to everyone how I feel.”

“Ouch.”

Judson raised his eyebrows, looking surprised but then smiled slightly as he stood, walking across to the sink on the other side of the room. He poured the rest of the coffee in the sink, tossed the cup into the trash can and turned toward me, leaning back against the sink and folding his arms across his chest.

“You’re an interesting one, Blanche,” he said. “I can’t seem to figure you out. You’re like a gentle lamb one moment and a prickly porcupine the next.”

I winked and managed a tired smile.

“And do you really want to figure me out? You might be drastically disappointed if you do.”

Judson grinned. “I don’t think I’d ever be disappointed learning more about you.”

Good grief, how did I walk into that one?  I mentally scolded myself for letting my guard down during a moment of exhaustion. I cleared my throat and stood, walking across the waiting room floor and looking out the window at the empty hospital parking lot lit by fluorescent street lamps four stories below me.

“So,” Judson said behind me. “Your dad was really worried about you today. You’re lucky to have him.”

A car turned into the parking lot and I watched it slide into a parking space. “I really am. It’s not lost on me.”

Judson sighed. “My dad only seemed to care about me when I was playing football and even then we only talked about drills and passes and strategy. When I told him I was quitting football, the look of disgust he gave me showed me I was nothing to him unless I was on a field with a ball in my hand.” He laughed softly as I turned to face him and sat in a chair across from him. “Apparently you’re my therapist now.”

I shrugged. “It’s okay. I get it. Daddy and I haven’t always have a great relationship either, to be honest. We were close until – well, puberty hit to put it delicately. I don’t think he knew what to do with a growing girl. He didn’t seem to understand I was still the same Blanche — just with a lot or rebellion and confusion in me. Our relationship definitely wasn’t any better after I ran away with Hank.”

Judson stretched his legs out in front of him. “What was all that about anyhow? I know I don’t know you real well, but you don’t seem like the type of girl to just take off with some man.”

I sipped the coffee again and grimaced at the bitterness. “I guess I was just tired of doing what everyone thought I would do and acting the way everyone thought I should. I thought Hank was my ticket to a life more exciting than the predictable one I was living at the time. Unfortunately, it wasn’t exactly the excitement I was expecting.”

I sat and my leaned my head back again, a wave of exhaustion over taking me. The magnitude of the day was beginning to hit me and I was struggling to keep my emotions in check. I didn’t want to talk about my ex-husband with Judson anymore. I wasn’t interested in sharing too much of my personal life, letting him too far in.

“Why don’t we pray?”

I turned my head and looked at Judson in surprise. “Um..yeah…that would be nice.”

He leaned forward and took my hands in his, bowing his head and closing his eyes. He laughed softly and looked up at me again. “I’m not great at this, so bare with me, okay?”

I smiled and closed my eyes as he closed his again.

“Father, we bring Sam before you. We ask for you to guide the hand of the surgeons, to bring comfort to Sam and to Emmy. Hold them both in your watch care tonight and bring them, and us, the peace that only you can give. Amen.”

“Amen,” I whispered.

I opened my eyes and my gaze met his. His face was much too close to mine, his hands much too warm around my fingers. I’d never had a man ask me to pray with, other than Daddy. Judson’s blue eyes were fixed on mine and he opened his mouth to speak at the same moment the door to the waiting room squeaked open.

“Are you here with Sam Lambert?”

I jerked my hands out of Judson’s grasp at the sound of the doctor’s voice.

Judson and I spoke at the same time. “Yes.”

“Are you family?”

“No,” I said. “His parents are on their way here.”

The doctor sighed and dragged his hand through his hair and across the back of his neck.  “I don’t usually release information to anyone but the family, but it’s been a long day and I’m heading home for some rest. For now I can say the surgery went well. We were able to remove the bullet. It was close to the spinal cord so we will need to wait and see what that will mean with his ability to walk. We’re hopeful there won’t be any issues at all, but we’ll know more in the next few days. He also has a few broken ribs and those should heal well on their own.”

I thanked the doctor and promised to update Sam’s parents when they arrived. Judson and I sat on the couch next to each other to wait, sitting in silence. Leaning my head back against the couch, sleep overtook me quickly, despite my attempt to fight it. As sounds faded in and out I dreamed Judson slid his arm around me and pulled me against him as I slept, my head on his shoulder. In the dream I felt his hand push a strand of hair off my forehead.

I woke to Judson standing, talking to Sam’s parents, sharing with them what the doctor had told us. Judson’s rolled up jacket was under my head and I had slumped over on the couch. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

“Thank you both so much for waiting.” Sam’s mother Maryellen dabbed her red-rimmed eyes with a crumpled tissue. “You’re more than welcome to head home and get some rest. We plan to stay here until Sam wakes up.”

“Of course,” I said, standing. “Please know we’re all praying and will be by tomorrow to check on him and Emmy.”

“Thank you, Blanche. So good to see you again,” Sam’s father, Freddy, said, hugging me briefly.

Outside the waiting room, Judson and I pulled on our coats and hats. “Come on, I’ll give you a ride home,” he said through a yawn.

As we walked outside a soft glow was brightening the sky along the horizon.

I looked at the sunrise through bleary eyes, drew in a deep breath of the crisp morning air, and looked up at the mainly gray sky. “God, please be with Sam and Emmy and their baby girl.”

Snow crunched under our feet as we walked to Judson’s truck and he opened the passenger side door for me.

“Wow. What a day huh?”

I yawned. “Yes. A day and a night. It all seems like a dream in some ways. I think we may have to trade church for a nap today.”

Judson rubbed his eyes and turned the heat up before pulling out onto the road. My eyelids were heavy and I blinked to try to chase away the exhaustion.

We drove in silence for several miles, farms and fields passing by, scenery  slowly growing brighter as the sun rose over the hill.

“It was nice seeing you and Emmy at that movie yesterday,” he said suddenly.

A silence fell over us again as he drove. I stared out the windshield, thinking of my warm bed and anxious to hug my little boy.

He glanced at me quickly as he drove.

“Maybe sometime I could take you to a movie. Alone I mean.”

I tipped my head at him quizzically. “Excuse me? Weren’t you just out with another woman yesterday and now you’re asking me out?”

He grinned and glanced at me again, then turned his eyes back to the road.

“Well, yeah, but she’s just a friend. She asked me out. I didn’t ask her out. It’s not like we’re,” he made quotes with his fingers as he briefly lifted from the steering wheel.  “going steady or something. It’s not like I gave her my class ring.”

I sighed, knowing I was too tired for this conversation.

“Is that a no?” he asked.

“You didn’t exactly ask. You just said maybe you could sometime.”

“Well, that was meant as a hint.”

“I’m too tired for hints.”

Judson pulled onto our road, heading toward our house. Smoke rose from our chimney and I knew Mama was inside, cooking breakfast, getting ready to wake Daddy and Jackson so they’d have plenty of time to get ready for church.

“So, I’ll ask directly,” Judson said as he drove down the driveway. “Will you go with me to a movie some time?”

I yawned again as he braked in front of the house and clicked the truck into park. I opened the passenger door and slid out into the cold winter air, shivering as I pulled my hat over my ears.

“Get some rest, J.T.” I said with a wink as I held the door, ready to push it closed. “Thanks for staying with me and for the ride home.”

I smiled and closed the door, watching him through the window as a smile tilted his mouth upwards and he shook his head at me.

After kisses for Mama and Daddy and Jackson, I undressed and climbed into bed, pulling the covers around my shoulders, too tired to even think about Judson’s question.

Fiction Thursday: “A New Beginning” Chapter 13

This is part of a continuing story, which you can catch up on here or at the link at the top of the page, under A New Beginning.

Want to read the first part of Blanche’s story? Find A Story to Tell on Kindle and/or Kindle Unlimited.
I had some “complaints” (notice the teasing quotes) last week that people would have to wait a week to read the cliffhanger from last week so I moved it up a day. I actually had two complaints because I really only have two people reading the story. Hahaha! Or at least two people commenting (which is NOT a complaint by me, just explaining it’s not like the complaints came in droves or that they were real complaints. Should I stop over-explaining now? Okay. I shall.)

Also, guess what! I’m glad that I rewrite and edit my books once I share them in chapters on my blog because I have been using the wrong name for one of my characters. Blanche’s mother-in-law is Marion, not Marjorie! Yikes! So sorry Marion! First, she had a horrible life with a horrible husband and son, and now her story is being told incorrectly because the author is messing up her name.

Check back tomorrow for Chapter 14 of the story.

 

 


Chapter 13

I had been so drugged when Jackson was born, I couldn’t remember what the doctor had done to make him cry. Or did he just cry by himself? I wracked my brain then remembered a delivery scene in a book I’d read and quickly turned the baby on her back, clearing mucous from her nose and mouth with my fingers and then flipped her again so her chest was against my palm as I smacked her back firmly.

Nothing.

I smacked her again, a little harder this time, as Emmy cried.

I was beginning to sob now, terrified.

“Oh Jesus, please let this baby breathe.”

I rubbed the baby’s back, feeling her solid against my hand and closed my eyes, slapping her hard again.

The sudden gasp that came from the tiny form after the third slap, tiny arms jerking out to her sides, sent relief rushing through me.

“Oh, Jesus! Thank you!”

Little Faith’s scream was the best sound I’d ever heard.

I laid her against Emmy’s chest and pulled my coat off, laying it across both of them. Tears streamed down Emmy’s face as she held Faith close to her.

The wind whipped against the car and snow pelted the windshield and windows. Looking on either side of us I could only see white. I knew I wouldn’t be able to see the road even if I had been able to stop my legs and hands from shaking.

I turned the heat up and looked in the backseat for the blanket I knew Daddy kept there.

“I was a Boy Scout,” he’d told me when I had teased him one time about the blankets and other supplies he had in the car. “You know their motto -”

“Yes, Daddy. Always be prepared.”

This was one time I was glad Daddy was prepared. I tightened the blanket around Emmy and Faith and then reached over and turned the radio on. Elvis crooned over the speakers.

“We should at least have some music while we wait to see if this snow slows down,” I said.

Emmy smiled, tears in her eyes as she watched Faith root for her first meal outside the womb. “We did it, Blanche. She’s here!”

I stroked Emmy’s hair and smiled down at Faith snuggled against her. I hoped the gas lasted until the snow slowed down and I could safely pull onto the road again. I should have listened to Mama about the snowstorm.  Emmy and I should have waited to go to the movies another night. I should have known she would be right. It seemed like Mama was always right and I knew I needed to start tuning myself into my own intuition if I was going to be as instinctual as she always seemed to be.

Emmy laid her head back against the door and smiled weakly as we listened to the next song by a new group from England called The Beatles.

“Such a weird name for a band,” Emmy laughed. “What do you think of their music?”

“I actually like them,” I said. “Edith is all about Elvis still, but I love I Want to Hold Your Hand.”

Emmy looked out the windshield as snow began to cover it. I knew we were both trying to keep our minds from being filled with worry.”

“Did you see on the news when they came into JFK?” she asked. “Can you believe how stupid those girls acted? I can’t imagine acting so stupid over a bunch of long-haired boys, I don’t care how good their music is.”

I laughed. “As someone who acted stupid over a boy when she was young, I guess I can’t say much. But. . .that was a little ridiculous.”

After another five minutes I could see the road slightly between the snowflakes. I didn’t want to wait much longer; I knew Emmy and Faith should be at the hospital and the umbilical cord still needed to be cut. Keeping with his “Always Be Prepared” motto, I knew Daddy had a knife in the glove compartment, but the lack of sanitation kept me from trying it.

“We’re only about ten minutes away. I’m going to try to get back on the road.”

“Are you sure it’s safe?” Emmy asked nervously.

“The road is definitely covered, but I don’t think it was cold enough before for the road to have been frozen underneath. I need to get you to the hospital.”

“Okay, then, let’s head out and pray for God to protect us.”

Even as I pulled the car back onto the road I wondered if I was making the right decision. Another couple of inches of snow had fallen on the road in the hour we’d been off the road. I began to sing to try to distract myself from intrusive thoughts about what could happen, remembering a song my Grandma used to sing.

The Lord’s our Rock, in Him we hide, A Shelter in the time of storm; Secure whatever ill betide, A Shelter in the time of storm.”

Emmy sang with me. “Oh, Jesus is a Rock in a weary land. A weary land, a weary land; Oh, Jesus is a Rock in a weary land, A Shelter in the time of storm.

We sang as I drove at 10 miles an hour, hands wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, leaning forward and squinting through the windshield wipers moving fast  to keep up with the snow. Emmy sang the next song clearly, her voice soft and angelic. I had forgotten how well she could sing.

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
the darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.”

A loud explosion interrupted her singing and at the same moment I felt the steering wheel jerk to the right and yank me off the road and into a field full of snow. We both screamed as I gripped the wheel to try to take control back, but it was too late. The car’s front end had slammed into an embankment and what looked like smoke billowed in front of us, obscuring our view.

I slammed the car into park when it hit the embankment and turned toward Emmy to check that she and Faith were okay. Emmy held Faith against her, her eyes wide.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

Emmy nodded but didn’t answer audibly.

“I’ll see what happened,” I said, opening the driver-side door.

Snow pelted me in the face and soaked my hair as I slid and skidded in the slushy snow toward the front of the car. I didn’t need to go far before I saw our problem – a blown front tire. I knew I had no idea how to change a tire, even though Daddy had shown me only a week ago, but I also knew Daddy most likely had a spare in the trunk. I shuffled toward the back of the car, then remembered I’d need a key to unlock the trunk. I shuffled again toward the front of the car and turned off the ignition, sliding out the key before venturing out again to unlock the trunk.

There was a spare tire and a jack right where I thought it would be, but I doubted I’d be able to lift the car with the jack and change a tire with the snow pelting me in the face and piling up around me. Still, I had to try so I kneeled in the snow, glad I was at least wearing jeans and boots, but regretting I hadn’t even brought gloves with me. Apparently, I hadn’t listened to Daddy’s motto as well as I should have over the years.

Ten minutes later I couldn’t feel my fingers and the jack had broke. I climbed back in the car and turned up the heat.

“No luck?”

I shook my head. Emmy was nursing Faith and I tightened the blankets around them.

“We’ve got to get you to the hospital. We’re not far away. I think I’m going to walk to see if I can  . .”

“No! You can’t leave me, Blanche!”

“Emmy, I have to find a phone to call an ambulance or someone to come help us. We can’t wait much longer.”

Emmy reached out with one hand and clutched my arm. “Stay! Someone will come, I’m sure!”

“I don’t even know how much more gas we have . . .”

“Don’t leave me. I’m so scared, Blanche.”

Emmy was trembling and I was worried that she’d lost too much blood or was dehydrated. Images of Edith collapsing against me flashed in my mind but I refused to imagine the same happening to Emmy. I slid close to her and hugged her against me, looking down at Faith in her arms.

“It’s going to be okay, Emmy. We’re going to make it through this. Someone has to come along soon.”

I hoped we weren’t too far off the road for someone to find us. I leaned my head against Emmy’s shoulder and began to pray.

“Jesus, give Emmy and me your peace right now. Hold us in your arms. Watch over us as we wait for someone to come. We know we are in your watch care.”

The wind howled around us as I began to quietly sing another hymn.

Dusk was upon us and Emmy had drifted to sleep with Faith against her when the roar of a car engine drowned out the wind and the click of sleet on the car windows. Feeling physically drained only moments before a new burst of energy rushed through me as I wiped the condensation from the window and squinted through the falling snow.

Tears of relief stung my eyes at the sight of Jimmy rushing through the snow and ice toward us. Emmy woke as the driver’s side door squeaked open.

“Blanche! Are you two okay?” Jimmy asked, trying to catch his breath, his cheeks flushed red.

“All three of us are doing okay but we could sure use some help getting to the hospital,” I said.

“Three? What – oh my gosh!”

Jimmy cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled against the wind.   “They’re here! Bring the blankets! Emmy’s had the baby!”

The rushed footsteps crunching in the snow were almost as welcome of a sound as Faith’s cries had been. I stepped out of the car as Daddy and Judson reached the bottom of the hill.

“You can’t do anything easy, can you, Emmy-lou?” Judson teased as he laid the blankets across her and the baby.

“My middle name is Anne and you know it, Judson Thomas,” Emmy said with a weak smile.

“I’ll get my jack from the back of the truck,” Jimmy said.

Judson gently closed the passenger’s side door and ushered me toward the back of the car where Daddy was standing, ready to roll the spare tire to the front of the car.

“When you two didn’t come home we panicked,” Daddy said. “We panicked even more when the sheriff stopped by looking for Emmy.”

“Looking for Emmy?”

His eyebrows were furrowed with concern as he glanced back at the car and lowered his voice. “Sam’s been shot.”

I gasped and suddenly felt shaky. “Shot? Is he alive?”

“He’s at the hospital,” Jimmy said, taking the jack and wheel wrench from Daddy. “That’s all we’ve been told. We don’t want to upset Emmy, especially now, so I don’t think we should tell her yet. What do you guys think?”

Daddy agreed. “Let’s get the tire on, get some gas in the tank and head to the hospital. When we get there, you go with Emmy, and Judson, Jimmy and I will find out how Sam is.”

I felt tears stinging my eyes, but I blinked them away quickly. I was barely able to manage a nod, as a wave of exhaustion suddenly rushed over me.

Daddy placed his hands gently on each of my shoulders. “We need to be strong for Emmy right now, okay?”

I nodded again and took a deep breath, determined to not let Emmy see the fear or worry gnawing at my insides.

“Go sit in the car and get warmed up,” Daddy said. “Don’t think the worst about Sam yet.”

I sat in the back seat and made sure Emmy and Faith were warm, trying to slow my racing thoughts. Sam had been shot. How bad was it? Was he even alive?

When Daddy and Judson had changed the tire and filled the gas tank with gas from a container in the back of Judson’s truck, Daddy slid into the front seat next to Emmy and smiled reassuringly.

“Alright, little lady. Let’s get you and that baby to the hospital and make sure you’re both okay.”

Emmy smiled weakly. “Thank you, Mr. Robins and I – um – I’m sorry about your upholstery.”

“If you don’t mind, I’d rather not think about that at the moment,” Daddy said, grimacing.