When people support you even when you feel like you stink

I put a notice on my blog Facebook page yesterday that I had some paperback copies of my book because a couple of people I know had asked about them. I wasn’t thinking about it as an advertising opportunity, I simply wanted to find a way to let those people know I had a few copies.

More people asked for books than I had so I had to order some more, but that’s not the point of today’s post. Today’s post I thought I would talk about how hard it is for me to put myself out there. I don’t like to be seen. I like to hide. I don’t like to share. I like to keep it all to myself. I don’t want to be famous and pray every day I never am. I never feel what I have to offer is as good as what someone else has to offer. In other words, I’m human.

A Story to Tell, my first attempt at a novel, isn’t a masterpiece. I actually wish I had taken a little more time to work on it before I put it out, but I wanted to throw it out on Kindle by my birthday to simply say I accomplished a goal. Because my self-esteem swirls around a toilet bowl half the time, I handed my books out today with apologies for it not being the best it can be. Yes, I apologized for them buying my book. I know. I’m such a weirdo.

I told my brother people were probably buying my book because they felt sorry for me. Isn’t that awful? It may be true, or it may be true that they don’t expect the book to be good, or blow them away, but they are simply trying to support me. Apparently, the idea of people supporting me is a foreign concept, but it shouldn’t be since people have done so in the past. The last couple of years have been a little lonely, yes, but people have still supported me and that’s what was happening with requests for copies of my book.

I told myself today, ‘They are buying it to support you and even if the book stinks, at least they said: “Hey, you tried and we’re recognizing that.””

Maybe it isn’t that some of my friends see something great in what I wrote but maybe it is that they see potential and they want to support it.

Now if only I could see my own potential. If only we could all see our own potential.

So often others see potential in us that we don’t see.

So often God sees potential in us that we don’t see.

We see rejection.

We see failure.

We see fell short.

We see we should be further.

We see not enough.

But God sees: “I’m trying.”

God sees: “I put myself out there.”

God sees: “I obeyed and displayed the gifts God gave me and each time I do it, I pray he helps me to get better.”

God sees us as enough.

God sees as we are right where we need to be.

God sees what will be even when we see only what isn’t.

 

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Written by Lisa R. Howeler

As a writer, photographer and former journalist, Lisa R. Howeler writes a little bit about everything on her blog Boondock Ramblings. She self-published her first novel, A Story to Tell, in September 2019 on Amazon. She's a wife and a mother and enjoys a good John Wayne movie and a cozy Jan Karon book. She's also a freelance writer and photographer who is a contributor to various stock agencies, including Lightstock and Alamy. Her photography work focuses on documentary and photojournalism.

11 comments

  1. So true Lisa, this post hit so close to home with me. I always wonder why some people seem to have all the confidence in the world and then some don’t. As long as God sees that we are trying and doing our best, it’s all good in the end…so true, everything your wrote.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This was me this weekend! Feeling like I have nothing to offer and like a complete failure. Thankfully God reminded me (by way of my husband) that this isn’t true and even though we will continue to struggle with feeling this way, thankfully God reminds us again and again and again of our worth. God Bless! (And I think it is so wonderful that you put yourself out there!! I love being the girl in the corner so I KNOW how hard that is, lol!)

    Like

  3. This is such a great reminder to stop being so hard on ourselves, which of course is super hard to do. I do the same thing! I’ve always been the girl in the corner. I love helping others and sharing their stuff but when it comes to my own stuff I shy away and don’t get it out there. I need to remember your advice!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Amen! I get stuck in those thoughts and feelings too! But our God is so good to come alongside us and lift us up right in the middle of those ugly thoughts. I don’t know where I would be if He didn’t keep picking me back up, and washing clean more of my old ways of thinking. Thank you for pressing forward with Him, and sharing your precious thoughts here. They blessed me so much tonight!

    Liked by 1 person

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