Fiction Friday: A New Beginning Chapter 27

First, please don’t get mad at me for this week’s cliffhanger. I swear I didn’t set it up that way. Second, as always, this is a first draft of the story and as always, you can catch the first part of Blanche’s story, A Story to Tell, on Kindle. You do not need to read A Story to Tell to follow A New Beginning.

Also, as always, this is a work in progress so there are bound to be words missing or other typos. To follow the story from the beginning, find the link HERE or at the top of the page. This book will be published in full later this spring on Kindle and other sites.

Let me know what you think should happen next and what you think of the story so far in the comments.

 


Chapter 27

“Hey, Robbins.”

Thomas sat on the edge of the desk I was sitting at and grinned. “That story you did on Sam was great. What are you working on for us tonight?”

I looked up from the typewriter and sighed. After a long day of work, I didn’t want to be sitting in a dimly lit and slightly stinky, male-dominated newspaper office and writing anything,  but I had a Friday deadline, it was Wednesday and had only a couple of hours a day to work on the story after work.

“A story about a survivor of Pearl Harbor but I’m having a horrible time piecing it all together.”

I flipped through the wrinkled pages of notes on top of the desk. “I wanted to write it at home but my typewriter is out of ribbon and I’ve discovered I don’t write as legibly as I once did since Stanley told me it looked like chicken scratch when I submitted my column last week.”

Thomas laughed. “I can’t read my own handwriting either, don’t worry about it. Besides, now you won’t have to bring your copy in when you’re done. You can just leave it on Millie’s desk for her to handle tomorrow.”

“Hey, how are things going with Midge?”

Thomas grinned and pushed his hand back through his hair. “Good. Actually, really good. You probably won’t believe this but she’s even convinced me to go to church. I’ve met her Dad. I’m not sure what he thinks of me, but I think I might be winning him over.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“But, wait a minute – what about you? What’s up with you and muscle man?”

“Thomas . . .”

“Okay. Judson. What’s up with you and Judson?”

“He’s been in North Carolina for two months now, helping his family after his dad’s heart surgery. We’ve talked a couple of times on the phone and – it’s just complicated.”

Thomas raised his eyebrows. “Oooh..complicated is always interesting. Want to fill me in on what that means?”

I shook my head and laughed. “No. I do not want to fill you in.”

I lifted the papers around me, looking for my notes where Mr. Harper had shared about hearing the Japanese planes while he was in the canteen with a group of friends.

“You know, it might help if I had all my notes here. I think I left the rest of my notes at the shop. I’m going to go grab them. I’ll be back in a few moments.”

“Take your time,” Thomas called as I reached the office door. “We’re here practically all night. Or at least I will be. I have to write up a boring town council meeting. And when you get back you can tell me what’s so complicated between you and Judson.”

The crispness in the evening air as I stepped outside the newspaper office, signified Fall had officially, and finally, arrived. Walking down the sidewalk toward the shop, I looked up at the leaves of the maple trees hanging like a canopy over the street. Pausing for a moment under the streetlight outside the shop, I tipped my head back, closed my eyes, and breathed in the smell of autumn; leaves on the ground, coffee brewing in the newspaper office, someone’s wood-burning furnace freshly lit.

“Hey, Chatterbox.”

A cold chill shivered through me. I opened my eyes but kept them focused on the stars dotted across the night sky.

I didn’t have to turn around to know who was standing behind me.

As I turned I saw the familiar smirk, the brown hair with loose strands hanging across his forehead and bright green eyes, the mouth that tilted up on one side when he said my name; the mouth that had given me my first kiss and what I once thought would be my last.

My voice sounded foreign to me, hollow and strained when I was finally able to speak. “What are you doing here, Hank?”

He smirked and slid his fingers back through his hair, pushing the loose strands out of his eyes. I stepped back against the closed shop door. I knew that look and nothing good came with it.

“That’s about the greeting was I expectin’,” he laughed. “That or something involving a lot of curse words. Good to see you too, Chatterbox.”

I bristled at his repeated use of the nickname he’d given me when we’d first met. I studied his face, clean-shaven, his expression hinting at the hardness I had been used to seeing when we were married.

“What are you doing here?” I repeated.

He slid his hands in his pant pockets and casually leaned back against the light pole in front of the store. His demeanor gave off the air of arrogance I was accustomed to from him. “I was hoping to talk to you a little.”

“It’s not a good time.”

“Well, when would be a good time?”

“There won’t ever be a good time.”

Hank rubbed his hand across his face and snorted a small laugh. “Come on, Blanche. Can’t we call it even? I mean, I broke your nose and you broke mine, right? We’re on a level playing field now, don’t you think?”

I could tell he hadn’t changed at all. He wasn’t even going to apologize for the way he’d treated me, not that I had ever really expected he would.

“What do you want, Hank?”

He gestured toward the shop door. “Can I come in and talk?”

“We can talk right here.”

“Okay. Fine.”

He slid a cigarette from his front shirt pocket, propping it in his mouth as he searched for a lighter inside his jacket. He lit the cigarette and took a long drag on it before pinching it between his thumb and forefinger and blowing out a stream of smoke toward me.

“So, you found yourself someone new since you left me?” he asked.

“That’s none of your business.”

He laughed, taking another puff of the cigarette. “Well, in case you care, I found someone new.”

“That’s nice.”

“Does that bother you?”

“Not a bit. You found someone new before I ever left you.”

He watched me through narrow eyes, smoke pouring from his mouth and nose. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

His laugh was raspy, like footsteps across a gravel walkway. “That’s a bunch of bull and you know it. I never took none of those women into my bed.”

“It’s any of those women and at least you admit there were other women.”

He spit at the ground next to him, narrowing his eyes at me again. “You always did have to let me know you were smarter than me, didn’t you?”

I tightened my hand into a fist as I took a step back, my jaw clenched.

He shrugged and tapped ashes off the tip of the cigarette with his index finger. “Well, I didn’t come to talk about any of that anyhow. I just came to tell you that you won’t have to worry about seeing me again for a long while. I head out to bootcamp in a week.”

I folded my arms across my chest. “Bootcamp? You?”

“Yeah. Me. Don’t sound so surprised. I haven’t exactly been livin’ the lap of luxury since you left. I got picked up for petty theft a couple times, once for beating up some loser who deserved it, and two months ago I got nailed for hot wiring a car.”

He shrugged. “Last week when I was visiting my old buddies up in New York some old cop arrested me and said I was trying to steal money from some bar up there. It was total crap. Someone else did it and pinned it on me, but the judge told me I could sign up or spend two years in jail. I chose to sign up. One year and I’m back out again,” he waved his arms out to one side, bowing slightly. “debt to society paid. I go to boot camp next week and from there, who knows.”

He shrugged again, took another draw on the cigarette. “Probably Nam.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “Can you even believe it? Me fightin’ in a war. Wouldn’t that be a kick in the head?”

I didn’t answer him, just watched him blow smoke into the dark, my hand on the door to the dress shop, my muscles tense, ready to duck inside if he stepped any closer.

He looked at me under heavy eyelids, head slightly tipped back, one hand in his pocket, the other holding the cigarette between his forefinger and thumb. I wondered how much he’d had to drink before he came here.

“What?” he said. “You ain’t got nothing to say?”

“What do you want me to say?” I asked, unsure of how I felt about what he’d just told me; how I should feel.

The idea of Hank in the military, maybe being sent to Vietnam wasn’t anything I’d ever imagined. I’d never seen an ounce of bravery or nobility in him and I didn’t see it now either.

“You don’t have to say nothing,” Hank snapped. “I just came back to tell Mama and thought I’d tell you too.”

I opened the door to the shop and stepped back toward the open doorway. “Okay. You’ve told me. You can leave now.”

He dropped the cigarette and ground it into the dirt with the tip of his boot. “Take care of my boy while I’m gone, Blanche.”

His boy? I was incensed at the way he referred to my son after years of never even contacting me to ask about him.

“You don’t get to call him ‘your boy’,” I hissed, my voice shaking in anger. “And I’ve been taking care of him all these years just fine. Without your help.”

I clipped out the last words through clenched teeth.

Hank smirked, rubbing the stubble on his chin. “Well, sure I get to call him my boy.” He stepped closer to me, a swagger in his step, his gaze traveling from my face, down the length of my body and back up to my face again. “I helped make him, didn’t I?”

My face flushed warm and I turned to walk into the shop, ready to slam the door in his face. I gasped as a hand clutched my arm near the elbow.

“Hey, I’m not done talking to you,” Hank said sharply, twisting me toward him.

“Yes, you are, Hank.”

The voice, hard and cold, came from somewhere outside the shop. I looked through the doorway, past Hank startled to see Judson standing on the sidewalk, hands at his hips, glaring eyes focused on Hank, his jaw clenched tight. I hadn’t even realized he was back from North Carolina.

Hank’s familiar smirk returned as he tipped his head back and laughed loudly, letting go of my arm.

“Oh, here we go.”

He clapped his hands a couple of times and walked back onto the sidewalk, standing in front of Judson. “What’s this? The boyfriend come to protect you?”

Judson stepped between Hank and me, folding his arms across his chest, not responding to Hank’s mocking questions.

“I’m at a disadvantage here,” Hank said to Judson. “You know me, but I don’t know who the hell you are.”

Judson’s eyes remained focused on Hank’s.

“I’m telling you the conversation is over,” Judson said, his voice as steady as his gaze.

Hank folded his arms across his chest as well and there the two men stood, like two rams ready to slam their horns together.

Hank sneered and poked Judson in the chest. “Why don’t we let Blanche decide who she wants to talk to, big boy?”

Judson’s eyes narrowed. “I’m trying to be patient, here, Hank, but I don’t think you’re hearing me. You need to leave. Now.”

“Listen, buddy, I’m here to talk to Blanche. Not you.”

Judson stared at Hank, jaw clenched, not responding.

“Strong and silent type I guess,” Hank said with a soft laugh. “I want five more minutes alone with Blanche. You can stand out here if you want but–”

“Not going to happen,” Judson said.

Hank tipped his head back, rolling his eyes. “Come on. Enough of this game of chicken already. I talk to Blanche then I leave and you can have her and do whatever you want with her for all I care. How hard is that for you to understand? Or are all those muscles strangling your brain?”

Hank turned and started to step toward me again, but Judson grabbed his arm, shoving him back hard against the outside wall of the shop.

“Judson! Stop!” I cried.

I was afraid what Hank would do, but I also realized Judson had a good 50 pounds on him.

Anger flashed in Hank’s eyes as he stepped away from the wall. “So, this is the way we’re going to do it, huh?”

“It’s totally up to you,” Judson said, his arms folded back across his chest. “You can leave, or I can make you leave.”

Hank’s voice was cold. “I’d like to see you try.”

Looking back at February, ahead to March, and favorite posts from the blogosphere

February was a little bit of a crazy month. Normally it drags on because we are dealing with the winter blahs, but this year it flew by pretty fast because of house showings and then eventually the sale of our house. Now we are knee-deep, somewhat literally, in packing up the house and clearing out, some of which we had already started.

Weather-wise, the temps rose and fell throughout the month, which was wonderful for our sinuses and mood (she said sarcastically). It was like “We’re happy!” “Now we’re sad!” “We’re happy!” “Now we’re sad!” all month long.

DSC_7487DSC_7592DSC_8099DSC_8142DSC_8183

Looking ahead to March, there will be more packing and then the actual moving, with the plan to be in the new house by April 3. There will also be more homeschooling, somehow, in between all the packing and moving. So far, homeschooling is both a blast and completely aggravating. I’ve considered writing a post about homeschooling again, but, sad to say, I had some who looked down their noses at me for doing it so I hate to think they’ll read any posts about the struggles and gloat. I know, very immature of me to worry about what others think, but I’m still working on that.

I wrote a variety of blog posts on a variety of topics (which is why the word “ramblings” is in my blog name.)

I shared a few weekly round-ups:

 

I also shared several chapters of A New Beginning, and you can find the links to all of those HEREor at the top of the page.

I share a couple posts about faith:

I also wrote about:

 

I also enjoyed many posts by a variety of bloggers in February and I thought I would share them with you today in addition to my February review.

I loved all the photos and daily events with Derrick, but I especially loved this one he called The Horse Whisperer. The photos and story behind it were beautiful.

As always, I have to share one of Pete’s stories from Lunch Break Fiction, but this time I also get to share he has a book out. I just purchased it and I am so excited to read it! I loved this post from February entitled Metrics. If you haven’t read Pete’s short stories, you’re really missing out.

I like pretty much every post shared at My Life with Gracie so it’s hard to highlight just one, but I did like when John shared his copy of Doctor Doolittle with Gracie and the other chickens.

Mama’s Empty Nest shared this throwback post written from the perspective of her cat and it was hilarious and sweet.

Melinda Johnson wrote about Facebook Being a Stalker Boyfriend and she’s completely right. You all know my disdain for Facebook.

Bettie, one of my favorite bloggers, shares so many touching posts butthis one was interesting because it gave me the chance to hear her voice and more of her story. What a blessing!

I enjoyed this post by Heather Dawn about waking up on the wrong side of the bed (even with coffee!) because I could relate to it.

I could also relate to Autumn at Autumn Rain about her worry that she’s too late to blog, to write, to . . . well, whatever. And, no, Autumn, we are not too late. It’s never too late.

There is a lot interesting posts to digest at Our Little Red House, so I picked just one about her garden in the month of February. She gets to have a garden in February since she lives in Arizona.

This post from Becoming HIS Tapestry entitled Love Me; You Don’t have to Trust Me, hit home as there have been people in my life I haven’t fully trusted, but who I have loved.  Honestly, it might tip some of your preconceived notions about love right up on their head.

Some difficult, but important posts from the last month included:

This one on Storied Pathwayswhen she wrote about her grandmother, who is in the hospital, and who has meant to much to her. Get some tissues.

The Whole Truth Laid to Rest on A New Life was such a hard read, but just so necessary in a day and age where so many don’t respect life on the simplest, smallest levels. *trigger warning* This is the personal story of a woman who had an abortion years ago and is now facing the pain from that decision. No matter what you believe about the issue, this is her story and she has the right to that story as much as anyone else.

So, how about all of you? Read any good posts in February? Do some exciting things? Share links or stories in the comments and see you at the end of March for my March update (if I remember to do it or even have time with the move and yes, this post was supposed to be done for the end of February. Oops.).

 

Thank you to the 350 people who follow me and the people from 92 different countries that have visited me

I don’t look at my stats too often (she lies, trying not to look as vain as she sometimes, unfortunately, feels), but last week I noticed I had gained a few more followers (I think I’m up to 360, not tons, but a lot for little ole’ me). I’ve also been checking out where my visitors are from and was surprised to find that I have had visits to my blog from 92 different countries in the last year. I find it so interesting that my readers are from so many different countries. I also find it interesting there are this many countries in the world and that there are a few on my list I have never heard of (Maldives and Suriname, I’m looking at you).

The majority of my visitors, of course, come from the United States. In 2019, 8,262 visits were from Americans. I thought the second highest visitor count would be from Canada (I don’t know why since I don’t really post anything that would be exclusively interesting to Canadians) but instead India is in second place with 835 visits. Not that anyone really cares (about the same as about this entire post) but rounding out the top five countries where my visitors came from were Canada, United Kingdom and Australia. Off-topic, but I only know one Australian and I think she’s too busy homeschooling her brood to even check out my blog so I don’t think those Australian hits are from her. I actually met her while blogging 13 years ago on a different blog (a mommy blog). There is some unimportant and unnecessary trivia for you.

I think some of my followers are simply looking for reciprocal follows on their blogs, which is the nature of the social media culture we find ourselves in these days. Many of my followers author blogs about psychology or mental health, which really isn’t a surprise considering my mental health is pretty unstable most days. I’m sure people who know me in real life aren’t surprised I’m being stalked by mental health experts (or self-proclaimed experts).  They are probably expecting to find some business through me. Ha! But maybe some are following because they are actually interested in the ramblings of the girl from the boondocks (no, really, they want business.)

Some people probably follow me based on my posts about faith, some because of the fiction, maybe some for the photography (though those posts have been sporadic at best lately), and maybe some for the ramblings about creativity. Most bloggers say you need a niche for your blog (I heard the same from the photography world) but being random can pay off too.

Sure, I don’t have the following of other, high-profile bloggers, but I really don’t mind that. I like my small little corner of the blog world. If I did start to accumulate a high amount of followers, I’d probably delete this blog/site and start another one. I share for fun, not for attention. I mean, a little attention is okay and nice, but a lot of attention? No thank you!

I have never looked at a social media “influencer” (whatever that is), or someone famous and felt envy, wishing I could have people pay attention to me like they do them. I mean, can you imagine having all that attention on you in this highly political, always offended, always ready for a fight environment? Blogging or sharing wouldn’t be fun anymore. Instead, it would be like walking into a minefield and hoping you don’t set off a row of landmines that destroy your life and your love of writing.

In other non-important stat information from my blog for 2019 and 2020:

I had a total of 11,351 views in 2019 and 6,904 visitors (this doesn’t add up with how many views I received from different countries, but I think that total was 2019 and 2020);

161 blog posts (not many by most standards);

2,067 views from WordPress;

1,870 views from Facebook;

and a handful from other sites.

In 2020 I’ve had:

3, 544 views;

1,986 visitors;

and 49 blog posts (which actually seems like a lot for it only being the end of February).

So, if you are a blogger, do you keep track of your stats? I don’t normally, so if you don’t, that’s good with me. If you do, that’s cool too! Let me know in the comments (if you want to, of course).

Sunday Bookends: The British version

This past week there was some good news on the house front, progress on my book writing, and a little bit of reading done. On the house front, we are moving closer and closer to closing on the house on April 3 and we are all starting to get nervous as we think about all we have to do to pack and move ourselves 45 minutes away by then.

Our appraisal of the other house led to a price drop, there are some issues the inspection brought up that we are having addressed, and my husband is in full-on moving mode by packing boxes and stacking them in our dining room. Soon I will have nowhere to sit but on boxes, I have a feeling.

As for what I am watching, the majority of the shows I have watched lately are British, so when Erin at Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs mentioned this week that she watches British cozy mysteries it was right up my alley. I feel a bit awkward mentioning Erin again, since I mentioned her last week, as well, and she also mentioned me in her blog this week, but I don’t feel awkward enough not to mention I got the idea for this week’s post from her.

This week I’ve been watching Grantchester (just started), but in the past, I’ve watched some of the same shows Erin has, such as Shakespeare and Hathaway, Death in Paradise, and Rosemary & Thyme. It’s a shame so many people die in these small British towns or in the Caribbean, as in Death in Paradise, but, hey, it’s entertaining for all of us, right? Even if the main characters are harbingers of death.

MV5BOGNlYmY1MDYtNjNmYy00N2RkLTljYmUtNTcyNDIwNGI5ZDZjXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjExMjk0ODk@._V1_

We signed up for Britbox last year so I could get more of the British fix I have craved for some 20-years. As a child, my brother and I sometimes watched Doctor Who on PBS (we didn’t have much choice. We only had four channels back then. It was that or soap operas.) and later Are You Being Served? When I was older I found myself caught up in As Time Goes By (with Judi Dench and which I have mentioned here before). BBC America introduced me to many more shows, some of which my brother had watched, such as Fawlty Towers with John Cleese.

My brother also enjoyed Monty Python, which I introduced my son to recently. My son and husband enjoy it while I just wonder what they were smoking when they made those shows. I also wish, in some ways, my child had not discovered Monty Python because he keeps running into the room yelling “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!” This is fine except he’s been doing it while I’m in the bathroom and I have this phobia of having a heart attack on a toilet, since that’s how my great-grandmother died, according to family lore.

With Britbox I have watched Miss Marple, as I have mentioned before, Sherlock Holmes with my husband (he’s a huge Sherlock Holmes fan and we have also watched Sherlock with Benedict Cumberbatch, of course.), One Foot in the Grave, The Vicar of Dibley (which I watched before Britbox). I’m not sure how I discovered Miranda years ago, but I remember my husband buying me DVDs of the series from the UK and then me trying to figure out how to change the region on my laptop so I could watch them. Of course, Miranda is now on Hulu and Miranda Hart also has books out, including one about her dog that I didn’t finish for some reason. I need to go do that this week.

I liked Father Brown but had to bail after season five because I hated the one actress and the whole show was just going off the rails to me.

Grantchester is interesting, so far, but I hope the main character starts smiling a little more soon. So far he is dealing with PTSD from fighting in World War II, is starting to become an alcoholic and grappling with his love for a friend who is marrying another man. A bit heavy and depressing, in some ways, but the actor makes it all a little better by his gentle demeanor. It’s strange to watch the lead actor (James Norton) because he reminds me of a guy I went to high school with who is now on Broadway. The guy I went to school with, Lucas Steele, was nominated for a Tony a couple of years ago for playing Anatole in Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812.

11855sm0cc937572c7b3f588e9c395f5e29a6f6

Looking at a photo of them side by side in these two photos, they really don’t look the same (except maybe around the mouth) but something about James’ mannerisms reminds me of Lucas, who, unfortunately for him, got stuck in a Geometry class with me when I was a senior and he was a junior. He was a really sweet kid with an amazing set of singing pipes, and while I haven’t seen him in 20 some years, I’d have to imagine he’s still a sweet guy. The people in the town where we went to high school pile into a tour bus every time he’s in a show (off or on Broadway) to go see him. Right now he’s in something called Emojiland, off-Broadway.

Anyhow, back to Grantchester. Fitting in with Erin’s comment about British shows having no qualms about switching main actors in the middle of a series, I’ve noticed on Amazon that James Norton is being replaced by another actor for Season 4. I’m not sure I’ll make it through Season 1 let alone to Season 4 of Grantchester, but I’ll probably abandon the show when the new guy shows up like I did for the second Detective Inspector for Death in Paradise. I stuck around for the second detective, despite hating how the first DI was written off, but I have no intention starting to fall for a third DI and having them be written off as well. I just read that the entire cast for the show has slowly been replaced in its nine seasons, to the point there are no longer any original cast members left. I mean, at that point, you might as well just call it a night and cancel the show, don’t you think?

The only British show that can really get away with this drastic main character replacing is Doctor Who because it was written into the plot more than 50 years ago when it was made clear that the Doctor has regeneration power. There have now been 13 actors (and one actress) playing that part. After I met my husband, I rediscovered Doctor Who and got him hooked on it. He’s obsessed with the show but I’m not as interested as I once was.  (Who would be now that David Tennant is gone. Sniff. I know that was four Doctors ago, but I still miss him. Daaavid!!!)

BN-HX570_doctor_G_20150416120949

The show is a bit too weird for me; always was, but for some reason I still watched it. The odd scientific mumbo-jumbo makes my head hurt and I’m not a fan of the current female Doctor Who. She’s a good actress but the writers have done a disservice to her by writing her as an overdramatic female who focuses way too much on social issues and too little on alien-fighting, in my opinion.

Not only am I watching British shows right now, but I seem to be reading British books, again thanks to Erin who suggested the Willow Tree Hall books by Alison Sherlock. I finished the first Willow Tree Hall book, Love Begins at Willow Tree Hall, this week. I liked it but I felt it could have ended a lot earlier than it did. It was a bit repetitive for me in the last several chapters. I liked the fact the book was fairly clean and light-hearted and just … I don’t know . . . simple.

I may start the second book this week, but for now, on tap for me in books is finishing A Light in the Window, which is the love story between Father Tim and Cynthia in the Mitford Series by Jan Karon. I read it probably 20 years ago (oh my gosh! I’m so old!) but I have forgotten a lot of it and it has taken on a different meaning now that I’m older. This simple love story between an older couple is right up my alley in this stage of my life, even if I am 20 years younger than they are in the books.

I’m also planning to read a novella by Becky Wade called Take a Chance on Me, which she released for free on Amazon this weekend. I haven’t read her before, but discovered her on Instagram, when I started my author account, and I believe she’s released this novella to promote a new novel in her Misty River Romance series, which will come out later this spring.

41Gk-iXuIwL._SY346_

On the blog this week I shared a couple of chapters from my book ‘A New Beginning’, which will be out on Kindle later this spring.

I also wrote about a child in a neighboring community who is battling brain cancer and the support that came together for her from the community.

So, how about you? What have you been reading, watching or doing this week? Let me know in the comments. (I stopped asking ‘What are you up to this week?’ when my brother kept answering “About 5’6″.” Sigh. Brothers.)

 

Sunday Bookends: house selling drama, Sweet Land and small town libraries

The house selling process plods forward and as it does I seem to be having more breakdowns than normal. The roller-coaster of emotions as we worry about something falling through with either the sale of this house or the purchase of the other is getting to me I guess. I find myself sitting down and having a good cry a couple times a week.

After an unexpected removal from the house when the inspector came and wanted to bring the buyers, I cried as we toured our small town, not so much because I will miss the place, but because of all the bad memories made while here.

“That,” I said as I pointed at the hospital, the largest in our region, tears rolling down my face. “is the last place I saw my grandmother alive.”

This was after we drove past the house where some family members live but who no longer speak to us, though they never spoke to us much before either. That situation has broken my heart for a long time and resulted in a lot of confusion and hurt feelings on all sides. In some ways, it’s as if we think if we pack up the house and get out of this place we can leave all the emotional baggage behind, but of course, we really can’t.

We can drive away but we will still carry the scars we’ve gotten here. From the broken family relationships to the loss of my husband’s grandparents to driving by the last place I saw Grandma alive so many times in the last 16 years to the knives in our backs from former places of employment and former friends, living in this town hasn’t always been easy. I know only God can heal those scars so I have to lean on him now more than ever.

In happier news, I watched a movie called Sweet Land this week, which was actually pretty “sweet”, so it lived up to its name. It starred Elizabeth Reaser, Tim Guinee, Alan Cumming, and Alex Kingston.  I kept writing in circles when I tried to explain the plot (that’s how muddled my brain is this week), so I pulled it off Wikipedia:

In the aftermath of World War I, Inge Altenberg (Elizabeth Reaser), an orphan from Snåsa, Norway, arrives in America to a very cold reception. The parents of immigrant farmer Olaf Torvik (Tim Guinee) remain in Norway, where they met her. Dialogue reveals that the four of them have worked out an agreement that allowed her to emigrate to America for the purpose of marrying Olaf. The Minnesota farming village of Audubon, in which her intended husband lives, is horrified to learn that she is a German immigrant with no papers. To make matters worse, she has accidentally obtained membership papers for the American Socialist Party. Scandalized, both the town’s Lutheran minister and the county clerk refuse to marry them.

When events lead them to openly cohabit with each other, they find themselves ostracized by the entire town. They are then forced to harvest their crop completely by hand and alone. This particular harvest season brings not only work, but love as well.

I streamed the movie on Amazon, but I’m sure it is available on other services as well.

On the book front, I am still reading Love Begins at Willow Tree Hill and still enjoying it. I haven’t had as much time for reading with all the “drama” (so to speak) in our life, but this week I hope to escape that drama a bit with reading and working on my two novels. (If you haven’t been following my novel, you can find a link to the chapters at the top of the page or HERE. I post new chapters on Thursdays and Fridays and will post it to Kindle when I’m finished, possibly with changes, but definitely edited and revised.)

I visited what was once my local library and will hopefully be our new local library when we move. My son and I had headed to the new house to pick up a radon test we’d ordered ahead of the inspection. After we left the house we mailed the test and then I asked my son if he wanted to see the little library in town. It was the library my mom and I always went to when I was a kid.

IMG_8715 (1)

“You don’t understand,” I told my son. “I didn’t have video games and social media when I was growing up so books were my only way to escape and experience life.”

When I walked into the library, the smell of books overwhelmed me just like it did when I was a kid. That smell was a sign to me that entire worlds were opening up to me and my mom and I would spend probably an hour choosing the books we wanted. We’d drag them home in a big bag and my dad would say “More books?” Sometimes we would bring home books we bought from the book sale and Dad would say, again, “More books? We don’t even have room for the books we have!”

But he let us have them anyhow and Mom and I would delve into them and float away from our small house in the country to worlds far away that were much more exciting than cleaning houses and cooking dinners and washing clothes and doing homework.  And we met new people, learned new ideas, developed new vocabulary, and for me, dreamt dreams of sharing stories as compelling as the ones I was reading.

IMG_8719

Before we left town, I decided to let the little old library ladies sitting at the front desk know how important the library was to me when I was growing up. They appreciated me letting them know, they said, and hope it works out for the library to be our home library by spring.

As for what I’m writing this week:

A flash fiction piece about a “sugar report” (letter to a soldier from a romantic interest);

Did you drink your water?

Faithfully Thinking: God’s Kingdom is in Your Own Backyard

Fiction Thursday, A New Beginning Chapter 22

Fiction Friday: A New Beginning Chapter 23
I’ve also joined *eyeroll* Wattpad…the place that teens apparently share all their bizarre pubescent sex fantasies. My story, however, is nothing like that so it will not, most likely, get traction on Wattpad. But, why not try? Life is short and we need to go for it, right? If you want to follow The Farmer’s Daughteron there (though this version probably won’t be what I finally publish on Kindle), you can find it HERE.

As for what I’m listening to this week (something new I’m adding):

Oldies to get me in the mood for revisions on A New Beginning (which takes place in the mid 60s):

Marc Martel:

and sermons like this one:

So, how about you? What are you up to this week? Reading? Watching? Learning? Listening to? Share with me in the comments!

Creatively Thinking Guest Post: How to Find Creative Inspiration from Journaling in 2020

This is a guest post from Thao Nguyen at Reedsy.com. I was not compensated for this post and any opinions within are the writers and not my own (though I also believe in the power of journaling). I have not used Reedsy much and can not claim to be an expert on the site, but from what I’ve seen, I really like it! So feel free to check it out. I know I will be checking it out more. 


Journaling has been making a spectacular comeback. In an age of fast-everything — from food to fashion to even social interaction — the tranquility of sitting down and expressing yourself the old-fashioned way, with a pen and on paper, sounds soothing to many.

Beyond its surprising mental and physical health benefits, journaling is also a great way to find, nurture, and connect with your creativity. And this creative impetus is not something that only creators — writers, designers, artists — have. Think back to your childhood, to the unpredictable whims and the odd logic that may have been dismissed as being childish as you grow older; they’re all still there for you to tap into! Creativity doesn’t have to mean splattering paint and brandishing words — it can also be looking at situations differently, better organizing your life and goals, and finding new solutions to your problems.

So how can you reconnect to that imaginative part of your brain? Let’s see how keeping a journal can help you get there!

What is journaling?

Journaling can be anything — writing, doodling, structuring your days, etc. — so long as it involves getting things down, often with a pen and notebook, on a regular basis. The last bit is the important thing: journaling is all about routine. Some people do it every day, others make time for it once a week. You can tailor it to your schedule and habits, as long as you do it consistently.

Revisit, reflect, refine

A consistently maintained journal is an album of your life. It can help you see how you’ve changed, what you can improve on, or where things might have gone wrong if you’re having trouble. From there, you can gain new perspectives and find fresh ways to overcome challenges, or strengthen the things that make your life good.

For writers and artists, it’s a great way to jot down ideas, some of which may come to you in one moment and disappear in the next. You can revisit these little notes and sketches and develop them further, even if it’s been weeks after you’ve had those little revelations. It’s like planting a seed and watching it grow.

Moreover, journaling is also a great way to be organized. If you’re a writer, you may wish to record and reflect on your process, whether you’re learning to structure your book, develop a writing style, or hoping to take your project to the next stage and publishing it. Here’s where a journal can really come in handy. Staying organized not only helps you succeed in your endeavors, but keeps your head clear, so you don’t end up accidentally stifling your creativity under confusion and chaos.

How to journal for creativity

There is no correct way to journal because it’s a deeply personal activity. It’s merely a visualization of your thoughts, and it’s only for you to peruse, so be true to yourself and do it the way you feel like doing it. That said, here are some wonderful journaling methods to consider that will help your creativity flourish.

  1. Freewriting

Freewriting is just what it sounds like — where you take a seat and write freely! For 10-15 minutes every day, perhaps at the start or end of your day, just scribble down anything that comes to mind. There’s no restriction on what you can write about — it can be an emotional reaction, something interesting you’ve observed that day, or your gratitude for life (which is a very popular topic for journaling).

These uncensored and unvarnished writings will let your thoughts and creativity flow, with nothing to silence them. Without the distraction of other people (or, more likely, your phone and laptop), freewriting leaves you in the sole company of your imagination.

  1. Responding to prompts

On the other hand, if you’d rather have more structure to your journaling, consider responding to writing prompts. As this is more demanding than freewriting, choose prompts that speak to you and create a short story once every week or month. And since we’re being creative here, why not write a poem, or sketch a comic, if you feel like it? No matter which medium you choose, there are few better ways to be creative than bringing stories to life.

  1. The bullet journal method

Finally, we have the bullet journal method. Its creator, designer Ryder Caroll, described it as a “mindfulness practice” in which you map out your life on blank pages. In such a journal, you’ll have calendars, weekly plans, and monthly reflections. In addition to that, you can have pages reserved for anything you want to do — whether that is doodling, recording mantras, or, if you’re a writer, mind-mapping your next project.

For those who are more artistic, this is a chance to use your skills and create a book that really reflects your mind. This method requires you to take time once a month to go through what’s happened recently and draw out a plan for the next 30 days. It’s a beautiful way to declutter your thoughts, pick up on forgotten ideas, and momentarily escape the hustle and bustle of life.

From uninhibited scribblings to methodically planning your months, these are some suggestions for you to nourish and cultivate your creativity. It’s sometimes hard to manage this in a world so full of noise, but if journaling tells you anything, it is that inspiration really comes from within, and it’ll come to you if you give yourself the time to discover it.


Thao Nguyen is a writer at Reedsy, a platform that connects authors and publishers with the world’s best editors, designers, and marketers. She enjoys writing non-fiction, especially the historical kind, and is delighted by the prospects that self-publishing provides for aspiring authors nowadays.

Did you drink your water?

Me to myself: “I am so tired. Just so tired. Every, single, stupid day. I probably have cancer or something. I’m dying. We’re all dying, but I’m dying sooner because I’m always tired.”

The small voice in my mind: “Have you had anything to drink today? Like water?”

Me: “I don’t know…why?”

Voice: “Remember all those times you felt totally awful and you actually drank water and felt better?”

Me: “That’s not it. That can’t make me feel that bad! I’m dying from some weird disease!”

Voice: “Just try the water.”

Me: “But, it won’t — ”

Voice: “For Godsake, just drink the water!”

Me: “Fine! But it’s not going to matter!” *drinks water* *drinks more*

Voice, half an hour later: “So…how do you feel?”

Me: “Just shut up.”

Alex’s Sugar Report

 

Alex’s Sugar Report

“Warner. Mail.”

The sergeant tossed the letter at him on his way by. Alex snatched it from where it had fallen on his bunk. He smelled the perfume before he even saw the return address.

A smile tugged at his mouth. He closed his eyes, pictured her smile, her green eyes, remembered her lips warm and soft under his.

“What’s that, Alex? A sugar report?”

Alex let out a long sigh. “Indeed.”

“What’s it say?”

Alex read the words. The smile faded.

“Bad news?” Matthew asked.

Alex laughed. “No. The best news ever. I’m going to be a dad.”

 

Part of the Carrot Ranch Literary Community’s flash fiction challenge. Learn more HERE

February 13, 2020, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story that includes a sugar report. Use its original meaning of a letter from a sweetheart to a soldier, or invent a new use for it. Go where the prompt leads!

Respond by February 18, 2020. Use the comment section below to share, read, and be social. You may leave a link, pingback, or story in the comments. If you want to be published in the weekly collection, please use the form.  Rules & Guidelines.

The stage of childhood when the nightmares start is upon us

Nighttime became a bit of a challenge here last month when my youngest started having nightmares after she saw a clown on a sci-fi show my son and husband watch. The clown wasn’t particularly scary but for some reason, it triggered her fear and the next morning we were up very early with a scared child telling me she’d had a dream about scary clowns.

Luckily we were able to go back to sleep but then I had a vivid nightmare about a man coming into my bedroom, walking toward me and not stopping. My daughter was asleep next to me when I must have cried out and woke her up again. In the dark I heard her voice, so sweet, telling me what I tell her when I comfort her after a bad dream: “Think about kitties and puppies, Mama. They will make you happy. It’s okay.”

I thanked her and we both conked out again but right before bed that night she started to panic, remembering her dream from that morning. “I’m having those dreams again but they are day dreams,” she told me.

I knew this meant my baby girl is a lot like me and a lot like her brother – she has a very vivid and active imagination, which leads to intrusive thoughts and images. I prayed over her, rebuked that spirit of fear and we looked at photos of kittens on the internet to try to take her mind off the images.

It worked a little while but then she said the images were back. I prayed over her again and then we sang Favorite Things from The Sound of Music and watched Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious from Mary Poppins. In the end I had to turn up our old stand-by of Frank Sinatra’s album In The Wee Small Hours which is what we play when sleep is hard to come by.

My son was about the same age when the nightmare phase started. Back then I would play Diana Krall to help him sleep and for head afterwards both he and I would almost fall asleep no matter where we were when we heard Diana Krall singing. This was especially concerning while shopping in Barnes and Nobles one day. I was looking at books, Diana came on and I just wanted to find one of those plush chairs and pass up.

When the nightmares started with my son, I’d curl up with him while he cried, trying to take his mind off whatever images were playing in his mind by telling him stories about the Care Bears. Many times I would drift off in the middle of the story and he’d poke me awake and tell me I needed to finish it.

I’m wondering if Care Bears will work with my daughter as well. I can see her waking me up to finish the story in the same way her brother did.

“Mama! You fell asleep!” He’d yell, poking me awake with his little chubby finger. “You have to finish the story first!”

Luckily this time around I don’t have to stagger out of bed the next morning, no matter how many times he’d poked me awake in the night, and stagger into work. I simply have to stagger around the house helping with homeschool and cooking meals and letting our dog in and out. I’d say “and cleaning” but, I must be honest, I’m horrible at cleaning.

So far this week, the only one having weird dreams is me and some of them have been related to me trying to protect my daughter. Other dreams have been about people in my family who have already died, for some unknown reason.

Nightmares. They are certainly weird and inconvenient at times.

Do you remember those times with your children or maybe with yourself? What do you do when you wake up with nightmares? Maybe you can try to tell stories about Care Bears!