Spooky Season Cinema: Shaun of the Dead

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings3 Comments

“Hold on. These guys are so British, I’m going to need close captioning.”

That’s what my almost 16-year-old said as we started Shaun of the Dead, the third movie in the Spooky Season Cinema Erin at Still Life With Cracker Crumbs and I are doing for the next couple of months.

This is a comedy-horror movie about a zombie apocalypse and a small group of people trying to survive it.

And yes, it’s a British movie, hence the need for subtitles for us.

The movie stars Simon Pegg (who plays Scotty in the new reiteration of the Star Trek movies) and Nick Frost and was written by Pegg and Edgar Wright, who also directed the film.

I think I am at a bit of a disadvantage at this weekly feature we are doing, honestly, because I’m either watching these movies for the first time or for the first time in several years like I was with Shaun of the Dead.

I am not a zombie movie watcher, even when it is a comedy, so obviously, I was talked into watching it by my husband who loves this movie and the other two that followed it, though they are not sequels to each other. The other movies, Hot Fuzz and The World’s End are written and directed by the same people and star the two man actors, but are not linked otherwise.

The Husband wanted to watch this with us but then we realized we had nowhere to shuffle Little Miss off to and she stays up later than most kids, so in the end The Boy and I watched it together and we decided The Husband and The Boy can watch Hot Fuzz and The World’s End together. I don’t mind missing those two. Really. I don’t.

This movie is what I call smart comedy.

It’s a comedy but it’s subtle in many ways because of how brilliantly it is written.

If you are looking for a fun movie, this is for you. If you are looking for a fun, clean movie, then this is not for you. It is rated R. Not to be a prude, but just warning anyone who isn’t keen on rated R movies. I didn’t count how many “f” words were said but it was a lot and that was only in the first fifteen minutes.

I consider the movie genius in many ways, even if it did have me squirming at times.

I told Erin I thought the movie was genius and she said, “Is it?”

*snort* Oh, Erin, she cracks me up.

Of course, we know going into this movie that it is going to deal with zombies but instead of rushing right into it, they simply keep hinting at disaster on the horizon with scenes in the background of news reports, people falling over, and heads falling in directions they shouldn’t be falling.

As we started watching this, there was one hilarious sequence I remembered even after not seeing the movie for almost 17 years. The scene is the definition of self-absorbed and clueless. It’s when everything kicks off and the action really gets started and it never slows down from there.

It’s a very emotional film in many ways, so it isn’t all comedy. It pulls no punches, and no one is safe so don’t get too attached to anyone. It is also extremely gruesome, which means my son loved it. He was blown away by the violence and I became such a mom and kept telling him to look away. It was sort of hilarious how I was trying to protect “my little boy” who is going to be 16 in another month.

Up next on our Spooky Season Cinema:

Hocus Pocus

Young Frankenstein

Transylvania 6500

Creature from the Black Lagoon (Classic Creature Feature)

Legend of Sleepy Hollow 

And …. If I can take it… to end the series: Halloween from 1979.

Hodge Podge: The Autumn Edition

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings20 Comments

This post is part of the weekly Hodge Podge feature with Joyce from From This Side of the Pond.

  1. Volume 478. Sounds like a lot. Where were you in 1978? If you weren’t born where were you in 2008?

I was a year old in 1978 and from what I was reminded of this week (on my birthday) I didn’t want to crawl. I just went to the center of floor, swung myself up backward and started to walk. It came up with my parents when I was talking about how my daughter (now almost 8) had also never crawled. She pulled herself up with the help of a baby chair and started walking so she could get to her older brother. She was 9 months old and never stopped afte that. 

2. Raise your hand if you remember records playing at a speed of 78 rpm? What’s a topic that when it comes up you ‘sound like a broken record’? 

We had a record player when I was a kid, but I don’t know what speed the records played at. I think the topic where I sound a broken record is when I tell my daughter to brush her hair and my teenage son to clean his room.

3. What’s the last thing you recorded in some way? 

My young cat climbing up a tree in our backyard. She does this quite a bit, but now she can get down the tree. Last autumn she got herself stuck up maybe 70 feet in the air and was there all night. In the morning, the neighbor, who is on our town (or borough as it is called in Pennsylvania) council, called the fire department for us and in the afternoon they sent a fire truck to come get her. In the end, the fireman chased her down and then my son was able to retrieve her from the bottom limb.

I wrote about all that HERE and here is a photo I took of her in the tree last week:



Here is a shortened version of the video I took:

4. Thursday is the first day of fall (in the northern hemisphere). How do you feel about the changing seasons? Something you’re looking forward to this fall? 

I love the changing seasons and how where I live you can really see the difference from season to season. I used to really love fall and I still do in some ways but I know fall leads to winter and I battle depression in winter so I sort of dread it. I am trying not to think this way, however, because my mom, who is originally from the South, said she used to dread fall for the same reason but one day God put it on her heart that she was spending so much time dreading winter that she wasn’t enjoying the good moments of her life.

This fall I am just looking forward to cooler days with hot tea with honey, or cocoa, and a good book, as well as jumping in the leaves with my youngest. I’m also looking forward to my daughter, son’s and husband’s birthdays.

5. In what way (or ways) are you like the apple that didn’t ‘fall far from the tree’? 

Well, I am a lot like my mom in a few ways. I worry a lot, but then remember to pray (or try to), I like to read like she does (though she is much more of an avid reader), and like my dad I have a tendency to be anxious and also, when very tired, extremely sarcastic and sometimes biting. I hope, though, that I also have my mom’s good qualities of caring for people and my dad’s same good quality of caring about others.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

Monday was my birthday and when my daughter woke up she slapped my arm and the fat jiggled. She thought this was hilarious. I sent my husband a text that said, “Nothing says you’ve hit 45 like your seven-year-old giggling while your arm fat jiggles.” In addition, my dad dropped by with a blood pressure machine he’d picked up at a yard sale. It wasn’t my gift, but it was a sobering moment in my day. Sigh. Reality really does bite sometimes. *wink*

Really, though, it was a super nice day of relaxation where I read books, watched a Thin Man movie (William Powell and Myrna Loy), watched The Man Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain with my family, and wore a cozy nightgown all day (even to the bank where I’m sure the tellers thought I was drunk).

Fiction Friday: Mercy’s Shore Chapter 19

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings, Fiction Friday3 Comments

I took a break from writing this week just to give my brain a break from trying to figure out where I am going with this story. I have ideas but I felt like I was trying too hard to push through the end and my brain was turning into mush. I know what the ending will be, I just don’t know how exactly to get there, yet.

Luckily, I already had this chapter and a couple of others written to share on the blog for the one or two people who follow along (and I thank you for that! I know keeping up with a serial can be time consuming and many just wait for it to come out in book form later on.).

As always, this is a continuing/serial story. I share a chapter a week and at the end of the story, and after I edit and rewrite, I self-publish it. To catch up with the story click HERE. To read the rest of the books in this series click HERE. Let me know in the comments what you think.

Chapter 19

Ben woke the next morning to the smell of coffee brewing. For a moment he forgot where he was and rolled over to look at his alarm clock. There was no alarm clock, though, just a framed picture of Leona and Adam on their wedding day sitting on a small table next to the pullout bed and under a small lamp.

He groaned and rubbed his hands across his face. His head was throbbing. His foot, which had been better the week before was throbbing too. Not to be out done, his back had joined in the fun with a twinge pulling between his shoulder blades. He reached for the bottom of ibuprofen he’d grabbed from Judi’s car the night before and swallowed two pills dry. He was going to need some of the pain to subside before he headed upstairs to face the Phillipi family.

He was grateful the den included a half bathroom where he could splash his face with water to try to wake himself up. His reflection glared at the five o’clock shadow darkening his jawline and the crow’s feet that had seemed to etch themselves even deeper into the skin along the corner of his eyes overnight

After drying his face off, he looked down at his wrinkled clothes, wishing he had something clean to change into. Of course he hadn’t packed extra clothes, since he originally hadn’t planned on being here for more than a couple hours.

He couldn’t hear any voices or movement upstairs and hoped that meant everyone had already finished breakfast and gone somewhere else for the day. The idea of saying his goodbyes all over again wasn’t something he relished. 

Feeling like a burglar, he looked left and right before coming all the way up the stairs into the living room and then made his way toward the kitchen.

A plate full of bacon, a loaf of bread, two empty plates, and two empty glasses and mugs were sitting on the island. He glanced out the window over the kitchen sink and saw the backyard was empty, then glanced at his watch. 9 a.m. It seemed too early for church, but he was glad for the brief break and hoped he could get Judi up and out the door before they came back. Turning around he spotted a handwritten note propped up against a bottle of maple syrup by the bacon.

Ben and Judi:

Gone to church. Left early to take Amelia to Sunday School. Help yourself to breakfast. There is coffee in the pot and some left over eggs in the oven. Hope to see you before you go, but if not, thank you for coming and please drive safe. So nice to meet you, Judi.

Leona

Ben poured himself a cup of coffee, poured some milk in and sat on one of the stools, scrolling through news sites while he sipped. He’d give Judi ten more minutes then it was time she got up so they could head out.

“Thought you’d be gone by now.”

His arm jerked in surprise, spilling some coffee on the island and choking on what had been about to swallow. Slamming the coffee mug on the counter, he coughed while Angie walked from the doorway and handed him a napkin.

“I thought I was alone,” he managed a few seconds later as he cleaned up the coffee he’d splattered out of the cup.

Angie leaned back against the counter on the other side of the room and folded her arms across her chest, her expression void of humor. “Sorry to disappoint you.”

“No problem.” His muscles tensed at her tone as he crumpled the napkin and tossed it in the trash can. He sat back on the stool and took another sip of coffee. “Just wasn’t expecting to hear another voice.”

Angie didn’t pause for any more niceties. Instead, she bulldozed her way into the conversation, making him regret not coming up earlier so he could have more coffee before she started.

“What are you really doing here Ben?”

He took a deep breath. “I told you. Your parents invited me, so I came down.”

“You’ve been invited to birthday parties before so why this year?”

“Something about your dad’s tone of voice made me think I needed to come.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Ben did his best to keep his tone even as he looked up at her. “It means what I said. I thought something might be wrong with someone in the family. He seemed to want me here so when Judi offered to drive me, I agreed.”

Angie kept her position and didn’t take her gaze off him. His eye fell to the jumping muscle again. “You could have found that out on the phone.”

“Fine. You’re right. I shouldn’t have come. I regret it.” But he hadn’t regretted seeing Amelia, not that he was going to tell Angie. “Can we stop this interrogation now? What did you do, stay here just to confront me?”

Angie’s jaw tightened. “Yes, in fact I did and when we move back to Spencer, I don’t want to see you. Do you understand? I don’t know what my parents were thinking inviting you, but this isn’t permission for you to try to get back in our lives.”

Anger rumbled in Ben’s chest, and he closed his eyes, counting silently to ten. “That’s fine. I never thought this was an invitation to be involved in your life.” He opened his eyes again and leveled his gaze on her. “What about my parents though?”

Angie dropped her arms down, leaning her elbows back on the counter, and raised an eyebrow. “What about them?”

“I’m sure they’d like to get to know Amelia – in fact I know they would.”

The tension in her face faded and she dropped her gaze. “I don’t know.” His response seemed to have thrown her off. As much as she hated him, he knew cared for his parents, or at least she had at one time. “I’ll think about it.”

Ben sat the mug down and wrapped his hands around it, contemplating the swirl of creamer on its surface. “Don’t punish them for my mistakes, Ange. It isn’t fair.”

Glancing up, he thought she was going to lunge over the counter at him the way she stepped forward and leaned toward him. “Don’t talk to me about fair, Ben. You think raising my daughter on my own for four years has been fair? You think having to walk away from a good paying job to move with my parents back to the one place I never wanted to see again is fair?

“Then why are you moving back?” Ben gestured with his hands. “You’re an adult. Stay here.”

“Amelia needs her grandparents. I want her to be where they are.”

“That’s fine, but it would be nice if she could meet her other grandparents too.”

“Now you want to cry foul? Really, Ben? Really? Four years of barely any contact and now you want to try to act like my daughter is missing out?”

“She’s our daughter, Angie,” Ben snapped. “Not just yours.”

Angie scoffed, green eyes flashing. “Excuse me? Our daughter? Our daughter?!” She pointed at him aggressively. “No. She’s my daughter. You gave up the right to call her your daughter when you walked away from me while I was pregnant. Besides a few checks and gifts, you haven’t made any effort to be a dad and I don’t really see any effort from you now either. You don’t get to call yourself a dad just because you showed up to a birthday party.”

“I know that, Angie.”

“And you know what else? Why would you even care if there was something wrong with someone in my family? You’ve never cared before.”

“That’s not true. I have cared and I do care about you and your family.”

“Really?” Angie tossed her hands out to her sides. “Then where have you been all these years? Huh? Where have you been?”

“Keeping myself away so I don’t hurt any of you again!” Ben shouted, pounding a clenched fist on top of the island.

Angie clenched her hands at her sides. “Give me a break. Don’t try to act all noble now.”

Ben pressed the heels of his hands against his forehead. Searing pain shot from the back of his head through his eyes. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This argument wasn’t helping his recovery at all.  

“Have you seen Judi yet this morning?” he asked through clenched teeth, pressing his fingers against his temples as he tilted his face down and closed his eyes. He hoped Angie could see how much pain he was in and back off. “We need to get going.”

Angie let out a frustrated breath, clearly annoyed with him changing the subject. “No. The last I saw her was last night.”

At least she’d stopped yelling at him.

The pain subsided as he massaged his temples, his eyes still closed. “Did she seem okay?”

Angie sighed and he glanced up at her, noticing the flushed crimson that had spread across her cheeks a few minutes earlier slowly fading. “Yeah.” She shrugged a shoulder. “She was getting a snack.” She walked across the kitchen and took a glass out of the cupboard and set it next to the fridge, her back to Ben. “She said you two aren’t dating.”

He stopped massaging and tossed a piece of bacon on a plate. He wasn’t really hungry but he needed to do something with his hands because right now all he wanted to do was punch a wall. “We’re not. She’s my secretary. I told you that already. She was working at this questionable diner and my secretary is taking some time off to be with her husband while he undergoes chemo, so I asked her to come help me out.”

“I don’t really remember much about her from high school,” Angie said as she poured a glass of juice. “But from what I do remember she was kind of a mess and nothing like her older sister.”

Ben shrugged a shoulder, taking a bite of the bacon. “Yeah, well, she hit a rough patch and she’s trying to get back on her feet again. I appreciated her driving me even though she does drive me a little crazy and she did cause me to wreck my car.”

“She told me about that.”

“Did she finally admit it was her fault?”

“No, but she did tell me your vein was working overtime.”

Despite the frustration still seething from the verbal sparring match, Ben managed a smile. “Yeah, I’m sure it was. She wrecked my new car and left my foot in a cast and with a concussion that is taking forever to heal.”

Angie sipped the juice and stepped around the island toward the bottom of the stairs. “I’ll think about your suggestion about your parents.” The softening in her words surprised him, but the hardness returned when she added, “But they’re the only ones from your family that I’ll consider having contact with when we get back to Spencer.”

He watched her head toward the stairs, found his gaze drifting over her curves as she walked up them and then looked away quickly. The woman had made it clear just now that she hated him. He had no idea how a thrill still coursed through him at the sight of her hips swaying.

Five minutes later there were footsteps on the stairs, and he looked up expectedly, but instead of seeing Angie it was Judi with her hair pulled up on top of her head in a stylish bun, her make up neatly applied, wearing a different outfit from the day before — a pink tank top with a denim jacket and a black skirt that at least hit her knees this time. He wondered where she’d found fresh clothes, then remembered the luggage he’d seen in her trunk when they’d put the stuffed bear in. Apparently, she traveled with an entire wardrobe.

“Alright, lawyer-boy, ready to hit the road?”

Someone was certainly back to her old self.

“Lawyer boy?”

She snatched a piece of bacon off the plate. “Yep. My new nickname for you.” She twirled around and headed toward the front door. “I’m ready to head out if you are.”

He followed her. “I definitely am, but shouldn’t you eat some breakfast?”

“We are swinging by one of those Amish stores on our way out of town.” She tossed the keys up and caught them. “I bet they’ve got something good to munch on and hopefully a really awesome cup of coffee.”

Ben felt instant relief when the car started. They were finally getting out of there and he could finally get back to work, take his mind off of everything that had happened this weekend. Speaking of work  — he lifted his phone and logged into his email.

Yep. Tomorrow was definitely going to be busy. He had another offer from Mark for the Henderson divorce case and it was still way less than what his client wanted. There was the paperwork for the sale of the old school in Burkett to that shopping mall and then three meetings with clients who needed to draw up wills.

At this point he didn’t care what work threw at him. It had to be easier than the past 24 hours.

Judi turned up the music, slid on her sunglasses and smiled as she leaned back in her seat. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand, Oliver!”

He needed to talk to her about that phone call, but he hated to dampen her mood. She seemed happy. There was no reason to take that happiness from her. At least not until she had some coffee in her.

***

Judi sipped the coffee slowly, letting the vanilla flavor saturate her tastebuds, while leaning against the outside of the driver side door of the car. She couldn’t wait to get back to Spencer Valley, something she never thought she’d feel or think. First, though, she’d needed something to wake her up. She also needed to delay the inevitable moment when Ben asked her about that phone call. She didn’t want to talk about it; not even with her family, let alone Ben.

She snatched her phone from the pocket of her jacket as it rang and rolled her eyes at the caller ID.

Lonny.

Probably calling to ask her to come in for work when she got back.

“Yeah, Lonny. What’s up?”

“Judi, we need to talk.”

“I called and left you a message. My car broke down outside of Lancaster so I couldn’t get back for —”

“It’s not that. It’s about your drawer count from Friday night.”

“What about it?”

“It was off by about $100 and Rick says this isn’t the first time.”

“It wasn’t off by even a dime when I turned it in, Lonny. And what is Rick talking about? Not the first time?”

“He says he covered for you last time but that he can’t do it again.”

“Covered for me how?”

“He slipped in money for you so I wouldn’t find out. He felt sorry for you, but I don’t. I’m going to have to let you go. I can’t have people I can’t trust on my team.”

“Lonny! I have never taken money from you. None of this is true. You have got to be kidding me.”

“If you can prove you didn’t take the —”

“Prove it how? I know I didn’t take it. I don’t have it. Don’t you have security cameras?”

“It was disabled so it was someone who knew about the camera. Hannah says you’ve been showing up with new outfits, busy running around town shopping and eating out.”

“First of all, I don’t know how to disable the camera. Second, I always eat out. I can’t cook. Third, I have a second job. You know that.”

“I haven’t seen you at this second job, you’ve just been turning down shifts and when you are here, money is disappearing.”

“You said it happened twice and now you’re trying to say it happened every time I was there. Which is it?”

“Your final check is in the mail, Judi.”

“Lonny —”

She held her phone back in disbelief as the call disconnected then immediately dialed Hannah’s number.

“What’s going on? Is that that guy again?”

She turned at the sound of Ben’s voice and watched him walk toward her holding a cup of coffee and taking a bite of a homemade pastry. His hair was disheveled, and he needed a shave. Looking so unkempt must be driving him crazy.

She pulled her phone back from her ear and glared at it. No surprise, Hannah didn’t answer.

She shook her head. “No. It was Lonny.” She flung the driver side door open and flopped into the seat tossing her phone onto the center console. “The jerk just accused me of stealing.”

“Stealing what?” Ben asked around a mouthful of pastry as he slide into the passenger side. He sipped the coffee and placed it in the cupholder.

“Money from the drawer. He says they were $100 short after I left Friday and that it happened another time and Rick, the bartender, covered for me.” Judi pressed her hand against her forehead for a brief moment, then slid her sunglasses on and turned the key in the ignition. “Whatever. This is just stupid. I’m going to go talk to him tomorrow. He can’t really believe I stole money from him.”

“Does he have proof?”

“It didn’t sound like it to me. He’s firing me. He says he can’t trust me.”

“Whoa. That sounds like a pretty knee jerk reaction to me. He should at least give you a chance to explain.”

Judi slammed the car into gear and hit the accelerator. “He’d better. He owes me that much. I took shifts when no one else would, worked until closing, put up with all those old,” she slammed her hand off the steering wheel. “Perverts.”

“Hey, calm down. You already gave me one concussion. Let’s slow it down a little, okay? Did he say if he was pressing charges?”

Judi ripped out onto the road and whispered a curse. “I didn’t even think of that.” She glanced at Ben. “Do you think he will?”

“I don’t know, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

“We?” She snorted a laugh. “What are you going to do, represent me?”

He shrugged a shoulder and finished off the pastry, wiping his hand on a napkin. “Yeah, if you want me to. I mean — you didn’t take it, right?” He didn’t have to see through the sunglasses to know she was glaring at him. “What? Sorry. I mean, I don’t think you’d do it, but that other guy sounded like he was threatening you so maybe you got scared and took some money to pay him off.”

“I did not take that money, Ben!”

“Okay. Okay.” Ben held his hands up defensively. “You didn’t take that money. I believe you. Do you know else might have done it?”

“Anyone in that group could have done it. For all I know Rick did it and told Lonny I did it.”

“Has Rick done anything like that before?”

“Rick has three kids with three different women, so he probably needs the cash.”

“What about that other waitress? The one you were with that night?”

“Hannah?” Judi shook her head. “No. She wouldn’t do that.” She clenched her jaw and slapped the steering wheel again. “But she did tell Lonny I’d been spending more money recently. But $100 in this economy? What would I even do with that? My rent is $800, this car payment is — well, way too much.”

Ben leaned his arm on the window and turned his head to look at her. A quick glance at his serious expression told her that he had put his lawyer hat on, and she wasn’t ready for that.

“So you’ll talk to Lonny tomorrow and find out if he is pressing charges. In the meantime, fill me in on this Jeff guy. What’s the deal with him?”

If Ben was going to have one of his headaches, this was the time for it. She glanced at the exit to the main highway that would lead them home and wondered if she could drive off the road and hit another tree. Anything to avoid telling him anything about Jeff, but especially about that night.

She reached for the lemonade she’d set in the cupholder earlier and took a long drink. he couldn’t stall forever, though. There was only so much liquid in the cup.

“Jeff is a guy I met in the city. One night he invited me to his apartment he made a pass at me. I told him no, he got mad, I kicked him in the crotch, and he finally let me go. That’s all.”

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Ben watching her. “It sounded like it was more than a pass, especially if you had to kick him in the crotch for him to let you go.”

Judi looked the rearview mirror, then the side mirrors and pulled into the other lane to pass a slow driver. “New York guys are pushier, that’s all.”

Ben rubbed the side of his hand against his chin, then held it there a few seconds. “Yeah. Okay.” He cleared his throat and looked out the windshield. “Listen, you don’t have to talk to me about what happened, but is there anyone else you can talk to? Like Ellie?”

Judi kept her gaze on the road in front of her. “There’s really nothing to talk about.”

Plus ,she’d already talked to Ellie about it.

“So what was all this talk about a lawyer calling you? That text from someone named Seline?”

Time to deflect. “What are you doing looking at my texts?”

Ben yawned. He apparently got as little sleep as she had the night before. “It was an accident, I thought it was my phone.”

“My phone has a pink cover. Your phone has a black cover. You know, black like your soul.” She smirked.

“Ha. Ha. I have a head injury, remember? I just looked at the phone without thinking.”

“Yeah, well, anyhow, Seline told some lawyer for some girl about what happened with Jeff and now the lawyer wants me to testify on behalf of the girl. Say that Jeff has done stuff like that to other women.” She swallowed hard, surprised by the emotion thick in her throat. “I guess she wasn’t as lucky as I was.”

“Are you going to testify?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“She was stupid enough to get mixed up with him. It’s her problem. Not mine.”

“Judi, if you want to help this girl, I’ll help you. I can represent you.”

“I’m not testifying in some trial. No way.”

“Judi —”

“Drop it, Ben. I’m not doing it. It’s not my fault that girl was too stupid to ask around about Jeff before she got involved with him.”

Ben cleared his throat and raised the coffee cup to his lips. “Okay.” His voice was soft, void of anger, just matter of fact. “I’ll drop it then.”

Judi wanted to apologize, to tell him she knew he meant well, but she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. That girl had been too stupid? Actually, she’d been just like Judi, who had already heard about Jeff but had gone home with him anyhow. Maybe this girl had been like her, her judgement clouded by alcohol.

It was obviou she hadn’t been as strong as Judi, though — unable to get her knee up into Jeff’s groin and send him to the ground in a fit of rage Sure, he’d grabbed a handful of Judi’s hair and yanked as she’d reached for her skirt that he’d tossed to the floor, but she’d still escaped, with her life, most of her dignity, if not her pride. If she testified, though? That dignity would be completely gone.

Ellie already knew what an idiot she’d been, but Judi didn’t need her parents and everyone else in Spencer knowing too. She wasn’t sure how they’d find out if she testified in a court case in NY, but somehow they would, she was sure of it.

She had enough to be judged on with her past public drunken displays and this accusation by Lonny.

She didn’t need yet another failure out on display.

Little Miss’s Reading Corner: Tedd Arnold’s Fly Guy Books

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings5 Comments

I’m starting a new monthly (or bi-monthly, I haven’t decided which) feature today called Little Miss’s Reading Corner where I will discuss books she and I have either read together or are reading now.

Up today are the Fly Guy books by Tedd Arnold.

Tedd Arnold is someone we found out about when The Boy (my internet nickname for my teenager) was a kid because Tedd was born about 30 minutes away from where we lived at the time and was the guest author at a couple of local library events.

He also held a book signing at a local comic shop my husband used to go to.

Tedd was born in Elmira, N.Y. but from a search on the interwebs, I learned he now lives in Florida, or Land of the Free, as my family calls it. Tedd is the writer and illustrator for his books and is an award winning children’s author. According to his Wikapedia page, “Tedd’s first book, No Jumping on the Bed! was an IRA-CBC Children’s Choice book and was also selected as a Parents Magazine 50 All-Time Best Children’s Book. He is a three-time winner of the ALA’s Theodor Seuss Geisel Honor for Hi! Fly Guy and for I Spy Fly Guy, and Noodleheads See the Future.”

He has written and illustrated 19 Fly Guy books. The books are simple chapter reads for younger ages and follow the friendship of Fly Guy, a talking fly, and a boy named Buzz.

We do not own all of the Fly Guy books. I think we own maybe 10 of them, so we have some catching up to do. We also own two other of Tedd’s book, Parts, and More Parts.

Parts is a hilariously gross book that The Boy liked more than Little Miss does. It’s about how our fingernails peel or dead skin falls off, boogers fly out, etc. and adults joke that parts of our bodies are coming off and how a young boy interprets these references as scenes of horror. It really makes a parent think about how literal kids can be and how we have to be careful how we word things while also helping the child realize that when a parent asks if a child lost part of their brain when they sneezed, they are joking and not being literal.

More Parts, obviously, is about more gross stuff our bodies do.

Anyhow, back to Fly Guy.

Fly Guy calls Buzz, Buzzzzzzz and says a lot of things with that zzzz sound at the end like a fly would say in real life. What? You’ve never heard flies talk to you? Oh. Never mind then.

The books are full of fun adventures, silliness, and in Tedd fashion, a little bit of gross. They are geared toward boys or girls but some boys might prefer the ick factor a little more than the girls do. These books are not overtly icky but sometimes some icky stuff with garbage or dirt happens because we are talking about the life of a fly here.

The books are written with simple words and would be considered early readers.

Because Little Miss enjoys the books so much (they are the first ones she read out loud to me two years ago when she really started picking up reading… you know back when I thought I was failing her as a  homeschooling parent and then she started reading texts over my shoulder and I realized she’d picked up a lot more than I thought) I bought her a stuffed Fly Guy for Christmas last year. I thought she’d be excited. Instead, she screamed and said, “ew! A stuffed fly! Why would you think I’d want that?”

So poor Fly Guy was relegated to the bottom of one of her toy boxes.

Tedd has written over 100 children’s books so if Fly Guy isn’t your cup of tea, I’m sure you’ll find something else he’s written that you or your child will enjoy.

The Boy and I read No More Jumping on the Bed years ago and loved that one too. I need to get that and No More Water in the Tub for Little Miss next.

To read more about Tedd and his books, check out the Scholastic site HERE.

Or watch this video I found with him:

Have you heard of or read any of Tedd’s books? What are some favorite children’s books authors of your kids or grandkids?

Spooky Season Cinema: The Addams Family

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings7 Comments

I am watching “spooky season” movies through September and October with my bloggy friend Erin over at Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs.

So far we have watched Clue together and this week it was The Addams Family. This is a break from our Classic Movie Impressions feature which is where we gave each other ideas for classic movies to watch and we each watched a different one. With this joint effort, we are both watching the same movies and giving our own impressions of them.

So on to The Addams Family.

Bizarre. That is the word that came to mind as I watched The Addams Family with my 15-year-old.

I think I saw the show when I was a kid a few times, but I was always afraid of monsters, witches, vampires, etc. and also wasn’t allowed to watch shows or movies about them. This whole watching sort of creepy or quirky Halloween-themed movies is actually out of my wheel well because they weren’t something we watched while I was growing up. I think if I had asked to watch movies like these when I was a teenager, my mom might have allowed it, but wouldn’t have really been happy about it.

She didn’t have to worry because these types of movies simply weren’t “my thing.”

That isn’t to say that I’m not having fun watching them now with my teenager or family (and Erin too really, though not in person) because I am. Now I know what everyone else has been experiencing for years.

I do have to say that The Addams Family was even weirder than I expected it to be, yet also not as weird in some ways, as I thought it was going to be, if that makes sense.

Christina Ricci was super creepy as Wednesday.

Angelica Houston as Morticia was just strange. A bit of trivia: according to IMBd, Cher actually wanted the roll of Morticia. I think she might have been able to pull it off.

The insane sexual tension between Gomez and Morticia is both hilarious and cringeworthy.

According to Wikapedia, “The Addamses are a satirical inversion of the ideal 20th-century American family: an odd wealthy aristocratic clan who delight in the macabre and are seemingly unaware or unconcerned that other people find them bizarre or frightening.”

Researching the film, I was surprised to learn that The Addams Family show from the 60s was actually based on drawings by a cartoonist name Charles Addams.

Where have I been all these years that I didn’t know that? He created 150 unrelated drawings that appeared over a 50-year period in The New Yorker. (Sadly he eventually lost the rights to all his cartoons to an evil ex-wife, but that’s for another blog post, another day.) The cartoons were later adapted into the show and characters included: Gomez and Morticia Addams, their children Wednesday and Pugsly, and extended family members Grandmama and Gomez’s brother Uncle Fester, and their butler Lurch.

A disembodied hand called Thing was introduced to the cartoons in 1954 and later Gomez’s cousin Itt and Morticia’s pet lion Kitty Kat were also introduced. The 60s TV show lasted for only two years but spawned an animated show and then was revived with this movie, which was followed by The Addams Family Values a couple of years later when another Addams child, Pubert was introduced.

An animated show and a couple of movies came from the 1991 and 1993 movies and then in 2019 they rebooted the movies again with a new version, which spawned a 2021 sequel.

The original 1991 movie stars Houston, Ricci, Raul Julia, and Christopher Lloyd. The plot of the movie centers around what Gomez believes is the return of his brother Fester, but is Fester really Fester? That’s what we try to find out as the movie continues, taking us on a strange journey into the world and minds of the Addams.

The Addams are a family who don’t like anything that “normal people” would see as normal. Things that are considered weird, twisted, and disturbing appeal to the Addams family more.

The more blood and gore, the more delighted they are. Apparently, my son should have been an Addams because during one particularly bloody scene he said, “this is beautiful” while laughing. Honestly, there are days I feel like The Boy and The Husband are a completely different breed, like the Addams family. Or maybe I’m the one who is of a different breed. *wink*

This movie is plain fun and isn’t as gory or shocking as it could have been if someone like Timothy Burton had directed it. All the crazy characters and twists and turns made me smile, laugh, and cringe in scared anticipation.

I’m sure I’ll be doing the same thing for our next pick, which I saw years ago, Shaun of the Dead.

After Shaun of the Dead, the list continues with:


Hocus Pocus

Young Frankenstein

Transylvania 6500 or Practical Magic (wild card)

Creature from the Black Lagoon (Classic Creature Feature)

Legend of Sleepy Hollow 

And …. If I can take it… Halloween from 1979.

See Erin’s post about The Addams Family on her blog.

Our summer in photos

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn just photos, Just the Photos Ma'm12 Comments

Now that it is autumn (though not meteorologically so), I suppose it is time to look back on our summer through photographs. I have to say that choosing the photos for this post reminded me of what a good summer we actually had this year. After the rough end of 2021 we had, I was especially grateful for summer this year and was glad to live it as full as possible.

Little Miss’ friends came from Texas to visit at the beginning of the summer.

We took a few day trips during the summer, then there were many trips down the slip n’ slide and trips to my parents’ pool, enjoying our summer flowers, playing with the pets, and helping my dad pick his garden.

How was your summer? Can you even believe it’s already (or almost officially) autumn (here in the Northern Hemisphere at least)?

Randomly Thinking: My cat is a killing machine, 100-year-old women with beer, and home is home

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings, Randomly Thinking7 Comments

I have no idea why it has taken me so long to write a Randomly Thinking. I kept jotting down thoughts I wanted to add to it and then forgetting to flush them out.

I can’t promise any of these random thoughts will be very exciting, but here we go.

Our youngest cat is a killing machine. This summer she has killed several mice, moles, and at least two birds. There were several days in a row we would walk outside and find a dead rodent on our back porch and one day we even watched her hunt one down by the garage and carry it off in her mouth, very proud of herself. I might have allowed her to carry off the creature and eat it, except she didn’t do that. She decided to torture the poor thing by letting it get away for a few moments, then putting her paw out to stop it.

The little thing even got up on its hind legs and yelled at Scout who just looked at it first with wide eyes and then heavy eyelids as if it was boring her.

I told The Boy she was laying there with this mouse while the mouse screamed at her and it’s like she’s playing mental games with the mouse. It’s as if she’s saying “Come, sit with me. Let’s have dinner and a conversation. Oh. And just so you know, you’re dinner.”

In the end, I stepped in and we rescued the mouse by carrying Scout inside and leaving her in until the mouse could escape.

The Boy saw a dead mouse in the road  a day later and said it was probably the same mouse we had rescued. Oh well. We tried.

****

Speaking of cats, on a whim I uploaded a video to Instagram of my cat climbing out of my dresser drawer because she likes to hide in there.

Over 7,000 people viewed the video and more than 200 people liked it in less than two hours.

I said that was ridiculous, considering all the effort I put into other videos or posts I put up there and they get maybe four likes.

Little Miss shrugged. “Well, cats are cute.”

Yeah. She has a point.

***

One night before bed I was reading the Mitford Bedside Companion and I read an excerpt with the hairdresser Fancy Skinner to Little Miss.

Sections with Fancy include Fancy simply talking very fast and never letting Father Tim get a word in edgewise. When I was done with the paragraph, Little Miss looked at me and said,  “I’m pretty sure that’s going to be you when you get old.”

***

I looked up after using the portable restroom at a restaurant near us (they have it left over from when they could only offer outside dining) and this was looking at me from the window of the storage shed.

***

I do miss covering feature stories sometimes and get jealous of the funny people my husband meets in his job. A month or so ago he had to attend a birthday party for a woman who turned 100. It was at a nursing home. The niece of the woman said the woman had good days and bad days cognitively speaking.

That’s when the “birthday girl” called across the room to one of her guests, “Hey! Why are you wearing black?! I’m not dead yet!”

“Today,” the niece said to my husband with a smile. “She’s having a good day.”

This was further proven when the woman called out, “Where’s my beer?”

A family member told her they were getting it and would pour it into a cup for her.

“Forget the cup! Just give me the bottle!” the woman called.

May we all have as much fun at 100. Thought I’ll be doing with without alcohol since I am not an alcohol drinker.

***

Incidentally, this was the third person he’d done a story on in our area who had turned 100 in a span of about two weeks.

I once wrote a news story about a woman who turned 101 and subsequently did a follow-up story or photo on her for the next several years. She died in 2006 at the age of 109.

***

Little Miss and I were at Wendy’s one day and I saw a mouse trying to climb up the tire of the truck in front of us.

It made me think of Beverly Cleary’s Ralph the Mouse who liked to ride motorcycles. I wish I could have grabbed a photo in time.

***

Sometimes I wonder if Little Miss is really my child. She’s much too like my husband.

I’m not really into keeping things neat and organized (though I wish I was) like The Husband is.

Little Miss takes after him.

For example, recently The Husband opened up a new Swiffer duster and Little Miss’s whole face lit up. She grabbed it and ran toward the TV. “I can finally dust under the TV!”

I watched half in amusement and half in horror as she swept that dust away.

***

When we were trying to sell our house two years ago, we came home after a showing one day and found a pair of socks in the middle of the otherwise clean floor.

We couldn’t figure it out because the house had been spotless when we’d left.

The only one home had been our cat Pixel. After that more socks started to show up in the hallway and on the steps. After we moved, I again found socks on the stairs.

I knew Pixel was dragging those socks out but couldn’t prove it. That was until July when I looked out the bedroom door and finally caught her. There she was carrying a sock in her mouth.  I sent a text to The Husband: “I caught Pixel in the act of carrying a sock in the hallway — she carried it like it was either a dead mouse or a kitten so I don’t know if she was being maternal or psychotic.”

***

This summer my neighbor’s grandsons came for a visit from Virginia and Little Miss enjoyed going over to visit and jump on the trampoline with them. One day she also went swimming in their small pool.

She finally came back home, and I said, “Oh, I thought you’d stay over there longer with the boys here.”

She said, “Yeah it was fun to play but home is home.”

Those are my random thoughts for this time around. How about you? Anything random you’d like to share?

Sunday Bookends: The last swim, the passing of a queen, and a variety of books

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn Sunday Bookends15 Comments

Welcome to Sunday Bookends where I ramble about what I’ve been reading, doing, watching, writing and listening to.

What I/we’ve been Reading

I finished Junkyard Dogs, A Walt Longmire Mystery, by Craig Johnson yesterday. It was hard to put down, it was constant action, as usual. It is the sixth book in the series. The eighteenth book in the series came out last Tuesday and The Husband is excited. I don’t usually like books with harsh language but I’ve read a lot worse (or started to and put them down), there is no on-page sex (except in one book and it was thankfully really brief), and I love the characters.

I hope to finish Refuge of Convenience by Kathy Geary Anderson by today or tomorrow.

I was glad to have the two books to switch back and forth on since the Longmire book has heavier topics and isn’t as clean. Kathy’s books are all listed under Christian Historical Fiction and are engaging and make me want to find out what happens.

Up next in my list is The Cat Who Wasn’t There by Lilian Jackson Braun, a book from a cozy-mystery series I enjoy. It’s a comfort read to me.

Little Miss and I are reading either Paddington or Anne of Green Gables at night. She’s enjoying Anne so much that she has even been drawing photos of her. We are also reading The Year of Miss Agnes for her school lessons.

The Boy is reading War of the Worlds by H.G. Welles for school.

The Husband is reading Hell and Back by Craig Johnson.


What’s Been Occurring

Last Sunday we attended a picnic at our neighbors and my parents came as well. It was a super nice day.

It wasn’t a hot day, which made it even nicer, but Little Miss still took a dip in their little pool in the backyard. She talked me into going in as well and it was awful. It was so cold it was like standing in a large glass of ice water. I lasted about seven minutes.

It appears that it will be our last swim in a pool this season, unless the weather warms up this week.

It’s supposed to rain all day today and part of tomorrow.

Zooma the Wonder Dog even got some socialization in, visiting with the neighbors’ Shitzu dogs while Little Miss jumped in the pool.

Today we have a family reunion to attend. It should be interesting in the rain and will probably consist of me talking to former neighbors of mine who I am not actually related to but attend the reunion every year because they are like family.

Last week was our first week of homeschool and it got off to a bit of a bumpy start for Little Miss and me because neither of us has actually adjusted to being back at school. She wasn’t ready to sit and learn just yet and I was way too uptight about it all so on Thursday we both feels to separate parts of the house to have a good cry at one point.

What We watched/are Watching

Last week The Boy and I watched Clue as part of a feature Erin from Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs, and I are doing called Spooky Season Cinema. I talked more about that in this post. This week we are watching The Addams Family.

The Husband and I watched a Brokenwood Mysteries episode, some specials about Queen Elizabeth, and an episode of a hilarious old British sitcom called Yes, Prime Minister.

Sunday morning, I watched the coffin of the queen being driven from Balmoral Castle to the Palace of Holyroodhouse in Edinburgh, Scotland, and will admit I felt weepy over it. I believe this queen was a very “grand lady” who had a great deal of dignity, unlike a few members of her family (*cough* Andrew. *cough* Harry lately.). With her gone, I’m not sure what the family will devolve into, though they had devolved into a pretty big mess in the 1990s with the divorces of Charles and Diana and Andrew and Sarah Ferguson.

As I mentioned on a post on Instagram last week, the world is not only mourning a person, who seemed very kind and compassionate, but an era of respect, dignity, and grandeur that is slowly being eroded away. I didn’t finish The Crown when we had Netflix, but I enjoyed watching it and later doing my own research on what parts of the show were accurate and which parts weren’t. I feel, somehow, as I am sure the people of Great Britain feel even more, that after watching and reading so much about her that I knew her personally.

Of course, I didn’t know her personally, her family did and I do feel for them as they mourn her. Some might say “Well, she was old, so it was to be expected,” but that doesn’t take away from the pain of losing someone who was more than a queen to her family. She was a mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother to her family and not having her around to interact with anymore, to not having her wisdom to rely on, will be extremely difficult.

In addition to all the queen news, I watched The Young Philadelphians as part of my “Fall of Paul” yesterday since I didn’t finish a couple of movies I wanted to watch with Paul Newman during my Summer of Paul movie-watching experience. I hope to watch Mr. and Mrs. Bridge with Paul and Joan (his wife) later this week.

I’ve also started a documentary on Mae West last week that I hope to finish this week.

What I’m Writing

I am working on The Shores of Mercy, but honestly, I am discouraged in my writing. I started writing fiction to have fun but for some reason I’ve been focusing too much on how poorly my books are doing in rankings, etc.

Sadly, I feel like I often start things and enjoy them for a bit and then feel depressed when I watch others get the “success” I worked for but could never reach. But at the same time, I feel like success for me is connecting with other people and by that measurement, I have had success and it’s all I really need. It’s a weird dichotomy of wanting to be popular with my writing yet loving that I am not popular and can write whatever I want.

I think one issue is that I have been writing books I think certain readers want instead of stories I want to tell, even though I have enjoyed getting to know the characters of my Spencer Valley books. I also appreciate, more than anyone knows, my blog readers who have faithfully supported me in my writing journey, especially Bettie who offers prayers for me and my fictional characters. I often feel like even if I am only writing for Bettie and my mom, it is worth it.

This week on the blog I shared:

What I’m Listening To

This week I listened to Toby Mac’s new album again and I don’t love every song, but I really like most of them. I plan to listen to some sermons this week and maybe an audiobook since I’ve decided to check out Chirp, where you can buy audiobooks a you go, versus having a membership.

So far, this one is my favorite:



Now it’s your turn

Now it’s your turn. What have you been doing, watching, reading, listening to or writing? Let me know in the comments or leave a blog post link if you also write a weekly update like this.

Fiction Friday: Mercy’s Shore Chapter 18

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings5 Comments

This is a continuing/serial story. I share a chapter a week and at the end of the story, and after I edit and rewrite, I self-publish it. To catch up with the story click HERE. To read the rest of the books in this series click HERE. Let me know in the comments what you think.

Chapter 18

Ben stared at the television with bleary eyes, slumped down in a comfy blue recliner he figured was Adam’s.

He was in the den downstairs, gladly away from the rest of the family. What else could he have done? It wasn’t like they were going to hang out and watch tv like a family, since they weren’t an actual family.

He yawned and looked at his phone on the coffee table, guilt tugging at him.

He dialed his parents’ number and his mother answered.

“I just wanted to let you know I won’t be home until tomorrow in case you stop by.”

“Won’t be home? Where are you now?” She added quickly, “I mean you don’t have to tell us. You’re a grown man.”

A small laugh cracked its way through the exhaustion. “It’s okay. I’m in Lancaster. Car troubles so I have to stay the night.”

His dad’s voice, “How did you get there?” He must have picked up the other house phone. “You still shouldn’t drive, right?

“Right. Judi drove me.”

“Oh.” His mother again.

“Oh.” His father.

A brief silence fell over the conversation.

His mom spoke first. “So, is she as beautiful in person as she is in her photos?”

Ben leaned forward in the chair. “You’ve seen photos?”

“Well, yes Leona sent us some over the years.”

“You never said anything.”

 “We didn’t know if we should,” his dad said.

Ben cleared his throat. “I understand. And yes, she’s even more beautiful in person.” He rubbed a hand across his face. “Judi and I are heading back in the morning. There was some fog  and Leona asked us to stay.”

He chatted with his parents a few minutes more and when he slid his finger over the end call button he fell back in the chair, closing his eyes against the burning pain of tears. He’d been able to be tough for four years. Why was this all kicking him in the gut now?

He was exhausted. That’s why. That and he hated to hear the pain in his parent’s voice, knowing how much they’d love to meet Amelia and get to know her. Plus, this was yet another opportunity for him to be reminded he wasn’t as good of a father as his had always been and still was.

It also hit him with a sickening twist in his gut that he hadn’t prayed this entire weekend. For the past two years he’d been going to church with his parents, reconnecting with the faith he’d abandoned in junior high. He’d prayed his way through the self-directed anger and shame, the self-loathing that held him down day after day. He’d asked God to help him not hurt Angie and Amelia ever again and yet here he was, in the middle of the lion’s den, so to speak, poised to do just that if he didn’t leave soon.

He obviously hadn’t been thinking when he came down here. Not clearly anyhow. He had been worried something was wrong with Angie, Amelia or her parents, but he could have learned more about that over the phone. Why had he felt like he had to see for himself that everything was okay?

Maybe because he was a control freak. He’d been able to let go of that control over the situation with Angie but only with prayer and he should have prayed before he agreed to this trip.

He stood and dragged a hand through his hair. He needed some fresh air. Walking gingerly upstairs, he was glad the house was dark and everyone else was asleep. He gently opened the patio door and stepped out onto the patio and then down the steps into the backyard. Finding a bench under a maple tree at the end of the fenced in area, he sat down, looking out over flat land, void of the tree covered hills he was used to in Spencer. Taking a deep breath, he looked up at the sky, at a vast array of stars, and then closed his eyes.

“God, you know I’m not good at this whole praying thing,” he whispered. “Yet, or still. I don’t even know what to pray for other than to help me get out of here tomorrow without hurting Angie or Amelia anymore than I already have over the years.”

He tipped his head forward, into his hands and let out a long breath, sitting there for several moments, mental berating himself again for agreeing to this trip in the first place.

“You okay?”

Adam’s voice startled him, and he looked up to see the man standing in the dim light of the moon, looking at him with a concerned crease along his brow line.

“Yeah.” Ben rubbed his hands across his eyes. “Just needed some fresh air.”

Adam gestured toward the other side of the bench. “Can I sit?”

Ben slid over. “Yes, of course.”

Adam stretched his arms over his head and yawned. “I like it here but not as much as the place we had in Spencer. It’s too flat here. If my friend Lewis hadn’t offered me a place in his farm store to sell my furniture, I doubt I would have ever moved down here.” He lowered his arms and laid one on the arm of the bench, the other across the back of it. “I’ll be glad to get back to Spencer. Mom’s place is up on Hobbs Mountain – near the overlook that looks over the valley near the Tanner’s place.”

“Yes, I’ve been there before.”

Adam laughed. “Of course you have – what am I talking about? Mom practically adopted you as another grandchild when you and Angie were together.”

Ben simply nodded and looked out over the empty field again, his eyes focusing on a lone tree in the distance.

Adam broke the silence a few minutes later. “Boy, noses really bleed, don’t they?”

Ben laughed softly, leaning forward, and propping his elbow on his knees. “Yeah. I remember one I got when I was hit in the face with a baseball when I was about ten. They thought my nose was broken, but it wasn’t luckily.”

“Yeah, Amelia’s will be swollen a couple of days, but I’m glad it wasn’t broken. Kids are pretty resilient, I guess.”

Ben tilted his head to look at Adam. “Adam, what’s really going on here? Why did you want me here? I know about the move, but is something else going on? You could have easily called me and told me about the move.”

Adam rubbed a hand across his chin. “Yeah, that’s true, but I guess — I don’t know. I guess I felt like I should see you in person, talk to you about it all and see your reaction to Amelia myself, understand if you really didn’t want anything to do with her or if that’s just what Angie told us.”

Now they were getting somewhere. “They’re better off without me, Adam.”

“Are they?”

“I don’t know. You tell me. They’re happy, right? Amelia seems bright and well cared for. Angie has a doctor boyfriend. They certainly don’t need someone like me.”

“Amelia should know her dad,” Adam said. “Don’t you agree?”

“Not if her dad is a screw up like me.”

Adam shook his head slowly. “People change, Ben and I believe you have. Am I wrong?”

“I’m doing a lot better than I was, yes, but —” Ben let out a slow breath. “Listen, you meant well, Adam, but do you really think that I’m the father she needs? The man who walked away from her and her mom four years ago? The man who has stayed away and didn’t make an effort to contact them?”

“Did you ever want to?”

“Ever want to what?”

“Contact them.”

“Of course I did, but I knew — I know that I’m not what they need. I can’t do anything for Angie and Amelia but make their lives more complicated. They’re happy without me, right?” He didn’t wait for Adam to answer. “So, then what good will it do for me to come back into their lives?”,,,

Adam leaned forward until he could look Ben in the eye. “Are you drinking anymore?”

“No, sir, but that’s not the point. The point is I’m still not father material. I’m still selfish and there is still the potential for me to mess up again. I can’t take that risk and even more than that, Angie doesn’t want to take that risk. She’s happy with William. Amelia is happy with William. Let them have William.”

Adam let out a frustrated grunt. “I’m not saying you have to have a romantic relationship with Angie again. I’m just suggesting a relationship with Amelia at least. I won’t force you into anything, Ben. This isn’t the 50s. I’m not going to come after you with a gun, but I hope you’ll at least consider it. Especially now that we’re going to be living so close to you.”

Ben kept his gaze locked on Adam’. “What else is going on, Adam? Is it just your mom’s health pushing this move back? Level with me.”

Adam leaned back again, rubbed a hand across the top of his short, graying hair. “You always have been perceptive. I guess that’s why you became a lawyer.” He folded his arms across his chest. “Yes, my mom’s the main reason for the move. She’s got dementia and she’s also failing physically. At the same time,” he lifted a shoulder quickly. “I’ve got a bad ticker.”

“How bad is it?”

“Doctors haven’t said it will kill me any time soon but …” Adam shook his head, looking out into the darkness again. “What if it does? I’ll need someone to take care of my girls when I’m gone and I’d rather have them back in Spencer where the boys are, my brothers and, well, you.”

Ben laughed softly. “You included me in that last? Really? After all I’ve done to your daughter and granddaughter? They’ve got William, right? He’s a doctor, he can take care of you and them.”

Adam smiled. “He’s a pediatrician, Ben, not a cardiologist. But not only that — Angie doesn’t really love William. He’s a nice guy, don’t get me wrong, but he’s safe. It’s the only reason she’s seeing him. It certainly isn’t passion.”

Ben kept his gaze on Adam. “Safe is good after what she had before.” He rubbed a hand across his jawline. “Why didn’t you give up on me, Adam? I definitely would have if I was in your shoes.”

Adam tipped his head back and sighed. “Because I knew someday you’d realize you were headed in the wrong direction. I knew that at some point you’d hit rock bottom and start climbing out again. I knew that someday you’d realize what you were missing out on and want to be part of Amelia’s life.”

Ben scoffed. “My rock bottom should have been when Angie left me. When I wasn’t at the hospital when Amelia was born. It took me another year and a half to get to rock bottom. It was pathetic. I’m not real quick on the uptake sometimes.” A dark barked somewhere in the distance. “Adam, seriously — what if it happens again? What if I fail them again?” He snorted a sardonic laugh. “Again? None of this really matters because Angie hates me anyhow and doesn’t want me around.”

Adam shifted his weight to face Ben even more. “Like I said, I’m not saying you have to marry her. I just want you around for them. I don’t know much about what it takes to stay sober but I know you’re a determined man. When you want something, you get it. You wanted that law degree and you got it and —

“Yeah, I got it. At the expense of my personal life. My family. My dignity.”

“Yes, but you regret that now, right?”

“I do. Yes.”

“Ben, do you still love my daughter?”

Ben held up his hand. This conversation had gone into the awkward long ago but it was now downright uncomfortable. “Adam —”

“Because she still loves you. She tries to act like she doesn’t, but she does.”

“Are we talking about the same woman? Did you see the way she looked at me today? If looks could kill — well, you know where I’d be.”

Adam rejected Ben’s attempt to bring reality to the conversation. “How long have you been sober?”

Ben rubbed a hand across his forehead. “A little more than a year and a half. Six months away from two. That’s not long in recovering alcoholic terms but I don’t crave it like I did. I don’t have an urge to go back to who I was. I’m told that’s progress.”

“You won’t go back to where you were.”

Ben was becoming irritated now. He ran a hand through his hair. “You sound so sure. I’m not even sure.” He shook his head, his jaw tightening. “How can you be?”

Adam’s smile gleamed with confidence. “Because you’re an Oliver. It’s in your blood not only to get what you want but to do what’s right.”