Sunday bookends: Just glad to be alive to post today

The fact I am able to write a blog post this week is exciting to me and feels a little like a miracle.

It’s just a silly blog post but I am alive to write it. And I apologize ahead of time if it makes no sense at all!

If you didn’t catch my blog post from last week, I spent five days in the COVID unit of our local hospital starting Thanksgiving night. I just looked back at that original post that I copied from Instagram and I don’t think it makes much sense but, then again, a lot of my blog posts over the years probably haven’t made sense. Ha! The second blog post about my recovery didn’t make much sense either but it’s been quite a journey so I will cut myself some slack.

I came home from the hospital Monday night of this past week and am slowly recovering, trying to regain some sort of normalcy again. Making myself write this blog post is one way of getting some of that back. I am still worried about my cognitive state at this point, but I can write cognitive so that’s a good thing, right? I have issues with brain fog anyhow but COVID has stepped it up even more. I had never heard how bad it messed with you mentally until I got it.

So, I mentioned in my other post that I have developed a very odd internal tremor that started either when the symptoms of COVID (dry cough, high fever, exhaustion, loss of taste and smell) started or when I found out officially that I had Covid. I’m not sure which. The days all blurred together. I do know I had a bit of a mental breakdown when I saw I officially had Covid, terrified of what it would bring to my family.

I chalked the tremor up to the effects of the virus itself but it is still there and won’t go away even as I should be over the virus. I do have occasional breaks from it. It’s very hard to explain it other than to say I feel like I am sitting in a pot of boiling water all the time but without the heat. Or that my muscles are constantly twitching from the spine up through my head. Or that I’m sitting on a phone on vibrate 24/7. I also have a low roar in my ears but my ears have been stuffed for over a month so that isn’t leftover from Covid.

I think I mentioned in my post earlier in the week that I had something similar happen to me when my dog of 14-years died in 2017. My daughter was also sick around that time (she’d stopped eating and was tested for the flu), I thought I had cancer (don’t even ask! I really am crazy sometimes), etc. it all built up and a vibration similar to this developed. It took maybe two or three months to settle down. I’m hoping this will take less time.

So I have slowly been getting my taste and smell back and cried when I started tasting food like my mom’s homemade mashed potatoes.

On Friday night I smelled Little Miss’s gas and actually got emotional. Ha! I know! It’s crazy but it’s just another sign I am recovering. I lost my smell and taste on the 13th. My son did as well and he’s still waiting for it to come back. I reminded him I am a few days ahead of him in recovery so it should come soon. My husband only lost part of his smell. As far as we know Little Miss didn’t lose any of that.

What I’m reading

So reading actual books was not on my priority list last week. I couldn’t get my brain to settle most of the time and did way too much internet research. When that obsession settled down, I found that texting my family and friends and watching old comedies like The Andy Griffith Show and stupid Lifetime Christmas movies worked to calm me more than anything else.

I did try to read Virgin River by Robyn Carr on my final day in the hospital, but, well, I don’t think it’s a very well-written book so I struggled some. Or maybe it’s just because I already knew what happened since I watched the first season on Netflix a year or so ago.

When I got back from the hospital my joy was reading Paddington with Little Miss and doing all the voices. Daddy doesn’t know how to read it right, she says.

I’m now also trying to read Saving Mrs. Roosevelt by Candice Sue Patterson for a book tour and so far I am enjoying it. It’s so nice to disappear inside books again!

What I’m writing

I am planning on gutting my novel this week. I don’t have a lot of brain capacity at the moment for writing, really, but I’m trying to do a little editing at least and that’s actually helping my mental healing a lot.

I have no idea when I will share fiction on the blog again. It might be after Christmas at this point.

What I’m Watching

I watched a ton of The Andy Griffith Show last week, as I mentioned above. Comfort watching. It was what I needed. I also watched Lovejoy and Corner Gas with my husband when we were first dealing with COVID and then did a couple marathons of Corner Gas during recovery this past week. I watched a lot of Gordan Ramsey’s travel show on National Geographic while in the hospital and a couple of really dumb Lifetime Christmas movies. I suffered through Pitch Perfect 3 as well. Lord, that was awful and I don’t think it was awful just because of the COVID.

What I’m listening To

In the hospital, I listened constantly to my Christian music playlist that I had set up on Apple.

I listened to Elevation Worship and Crowder and Matthew West, Needtobreathe (ironic, no?), Natalie Grant, Cece Winans, MercyMe, Keith Green, Michael W. Smith, Rend Collective, and For King and Country, just to name a few. I highly recommend listening to music in situations like that. It truly calms the nerves.

So that’s my week in review. I somehow made it! I would love to hear how your week went. I don’t care if you just cleaned out your attic or decorated the house or baked some cookies. Please feel free to share with me in the comments!

14 thoughts on “Sunday bookends: Just glad to be alive to post today

  1. I don’t think anyone who has experienced a traumatic event and has left over physical and emotional damage is crazy. That’s just the body and soul healing itself. We all have our special ways of how we each heal. I think you and your family are doing great, everything is coming back. My cousin told me a story about finally smelling her little boy’s gas on the way to one of his hockey games. They both laughed when he said he had been testing her the whole month and finally she smelled one…so gross, but what a mom moment. I am finishing up a coloring page today for you, my daughter is going to try and PDF it on the post but things changed on WordPress so it may take awhile for her to figure out. I am terrible at technology. Other then that, I am painting the back garden wall green still, work on that a little at a time. And finished up two gift baskets that a friend ordered for Christmas gifts. Oh. and my daughter made giant snowflake sugar cookies the other day. They look so pretty. We still need to get our live tree up north in the forest but snow storms are coming in, we have to keep it safe…it’s in the middle of nowhere when you go hunting for a tree. So glad you are all feeling better. Have a great week and God bless you all.

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  2. Well, your posts made sense to me but my brain is a little foggy too while I’ve been under the weather (and covers) with a sinus infection. Anyhow, good that you are recovering one step at a time and I’m still praying for you. Just revel in each little triumph you have. I know God will be pleased at your thankfulness for them. What’s going on in my life has been a lot of sleeping and expectorating junk our of my nasal cavities (too much info??). The Christmas decorating has been on hold but my hubby has really stepped up to the plate and done all of the outside lights, wreaths and garland, put up the tree and strung lights on it. I’m so grateful for him.

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    • You’re sure it’s a sinus infection and not Covid right? I had a lot of sinus pressure when I had it, especially in my ears. And then I lost my voice which the kids liked. Ha!

      Thank you so much for the continued prayers. I certainly need them! The tremor is still pretty horrible but the doctor is putting me on a very low dose of anti-anxiety meds for a week to see if it helps at all.

      Thank God your husband can tackle the decorating for you!


  3. Oh I am so thankful to hear about your recovering, even tho slow! I am so sorry for the strange lingering symptoms. Especially those “vibrations” you are feeling. I get something similar in my head when my occipital neuralgia kicks back in! And I get what I call “fibro-shocks” whenever I have night-time hot flashes. The Doctors understand the occipital nerve pain, but the fibro-shocks? Not so much. So I will sure keep you in my prayers, dear friend!! And your writing always makes sense to me!

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    • Yeah the doctor looked at me like I was nuts pretty much but she looks at me a lot like that – about everything. I really don’t know about her, honestly. She’s not the best doctor but I have to put my health in God’s hands ultimately.

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  4. Lisa, I’m just now catching up. I’m so, so sorry you had such a rough time of it! And so glad you’re better! I know quite a few people who have had covid, but you’re the only one I know, other than a relative in her 80s, who ended up in the hospital! My heart goes out to you!
    Before you went to the hospital, you might remember some of us mentioned ivermectin. I’m assuming your hospital didn’t give this to you. I’ve been wanting to order some just to have on hand, but it’s spendy…your story is making me think seriously about it again! So many studies show immediate positive results in nearly everyone.
    On a side note, I love that you watched a lot of Andy Griffith…it’s one of my “comfort shows” too! And I also love listening the worship music, especially when I’m feeling anxious.
    I prayed for you just now as you continue to heal emotionally and get your strength back, and for your tremors. Blessings!


  5. I don’t know, all of your posts have made sense to me! Recovery sounds tough and I know people who have said it takes a long time, but, just from this, it sounds like you’ve made a ton of progress and I hope the rest of it will get better soon. As much as I want to read more of The Next Chapter, your recovery is much more important.

    As for what’s been going on, I’m just thankful I survived getting my kids back into our school routine after Thanksgiving week. I also spent the week dealing with side effects from the COVID booster, and we managed to up our Christmas tree, though one string of lights went from half lit up to completely dead within an hour.


    • I never knew recovery would be so insanely long or intense with something like this. I had no idea how bad it would affect me either! It has been a huge eye-opener, that is for sure.

      I know I will get there eventually! I’m trying to accept my body and God’s time table versus my own.

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