The little boy was leaning nonchalantly against the door, with one hand on the door knob and when we jumped out of the van he said into the cold wind that whipped at our faces, sounding more like an adult than a child,“Welcome to our farm. Come on in.”
I smiled to myself at the sound of such serious, grown up words coming from someone so young and thanked him for the greeting. We stepped into a small, dark room filled almost completely by a large metal container, pipes running along the ceiling and walls, and a deep, metal sink at the back of the room. A small fluorescent light barely lit the room but a small window provided a little daylight.
I had started a personal photography project and series about small, family farms in Bradford County, Pa. and this was the first farm I had visited. The boy, wearing a winter coat and a knitted winter hat down over his ears, launched immediately into a tour of the barn, starting by showing my 11-year old son the nozzle where the milk truck driver would put the hose to siphon the farm’s milk collection from the refrigerated container into the milk truck. He motioned his hand up in the air along the path of the pipe system, showing us where the milk comes into the room and travels down into a clear sphere and then down another pipe and into the main collection vat.
Next he motioned us toward a door to our left and into the barn where he said his dad was feeding the cows. Cows were lined up in two rows, each in their own stall, ready to be fed and milked. They turned to watch us walk in and almost seemed to be listening to our young tour guide.
Before I could ask the boy his name or how old he was, he had a handful of the cow’s feed in his hand and began telling us it was made up of ground corn and hay and other nutrients. A man with salt and pepper hair and mustache, wearing a pair of faded blue overalls, pushed a wheelbarrow full of feed toward us and smiled at the boy and us. “He’s giving you the tour, huh?” He asked.
I said he was and doing a good job.
I finally was able to slip in between his explaining how the farm works to ask him how old he was and his name. His name was Parker, he said, and was six. When I asked how he knew all about the feed and the barn and the cows and milk, he said “I just do.”
Of course I know why he knows all he does. He is the son and grandson of farmers. Each day he watches the men who have shaped who he is and who he will become work hard for the life they want and they life they need. They work not only to survive, but to thrive.
His grandfather and dad milk the cows, care for the cows, feed the cows and they run the tractors, cut the hay, grind the corn and clean the barn. He is a boy being taught that to get what you want in life, whether that be a peaceful life on a small farm in rural Pennsylvania, or a life full of adventure and thrill, there must be some blood, sweat and tears shed. To reach a goal you work and you work hard.
It’s something his dad Mark knows a lot about. He thought he’d find his dream at college, but it was there he realized he had been living his dream all along on his family’s farm, right where he grew up. After he earned a degree he returned to the farm, the quiet, the tough life but the rewarding one that maybe he thought he never needed or wanted. Isn’t that how it is for a lot of us? We think we want something different from where we are and what we have when really, all we ever needed could be found right where we’d always been and among what we’d always had.
And sometimes we realize that what we want to do in life isn’t what will bring us monetary riches, but will bring us riches of the soul.
“Honestly, it is a labor of love,” Mark Bradley said. “I love working with the cows, and I love working the land. It is not a job. It’s a lifestyle. There are always bad days, but I can’t see myself doing anything else.”
It’s not a job.
It’s a lifestyle.
It’s a labor love.
So much of what we do that really matters is just that – a labor of love – work that might not light up our pocketbook but will light a spark in our spirit. And from that spark will come a fire that will burn through all the distractions of life and leave for us a clear picture of what is good and right and perfect about this thing we call living.
We were in the midst of an arctic cold snap back in January when a friend of mine shared a post on Facebook about farming written by a farmer friend of hers. The post ended up going a bit viral. I contacted the author, second generation dairy farmer Mark Bradley, of Sayre, Pa., as soon as I saw the post and asked him if I could come photograph him at the farm one day. He kindly agreed. This is the post that caught the attention of me and others:
“I stepped outside this morning to be greeted by negative whatever it is, plus a vicious wind. I knew before even stepping in the barn that it was going to be a rough one. It was a nice 34 degrees in the middle of the barn, but colder along the northwest corner. We got the cows all fed, I thawed out a couple water bowls, then started milking. As I was putting a milker on Hershey, this cow Candy turned around and put her soft warm muzzle alongside my cheek and in my neck. She loves to give kisses and get hugs, and she knew I needed a hug now more than ever.
photo by Mark Bradley Photo by Mark Bradley
I wrapped my arms around her soft head and with tears in my eyes, gave her a big hug. Sometimes it just hits you…the reality of the responsibility of being a farmer. It doesn’t matter how cold it is, how crappy it is, how sick you are, or how tired you are. Good day or bad, our cows count on us to take care of them, and we do whatever it takes to keep them happy. Dad and I milk around 50 cows, and have another 50 or so of youngstock. So over 100 animals ranging in age from a few hours old ( yes I had one born last night) to over 9 years old count on us everyday. Just dad and I. No hired hands, no substitutes…
I’m not complaining, I’m not looking for sympathy or a pat on the back… I’m just trying to help people understand the commitment that farmers have to the animals they love. Buy milk, buy cheese, buy yogurt, buy anything dairy… if your kids don’t like white milk, buy chocolate. It’s still better for them than soda or sports drinks…stay warm. I’ll be outside thawing out the frost free waterer that is not supposed to freeze.”
Thank you to Mark for letting my kids and I visit his farm and for answering some questions about his lifestyle and dairy farming in Bradford County, Pa. He has also been gracious enough to agree to be part of my personal photo project focusing on dairy farms in Bradford County. If you are a farmer, or know someone who is, and would like to be part of this series, aimed at bringing awareness and appreciative attention to farmers in our communities, please contact me via my contact form on this site or at lisahoweler@gmail.com
Tell us a little about yourself… where your from originally, your family, hobbies, etc.
“I was born in Sayre and raised on the farm that my father and I operate. My parents bought the farm in 1979 (a year before I was born), so I am the second generation to run the farm. My father’s grandfather had a small dairy farm just up the road from where he grew up a few miles from our farm, so his interest in farming was gained at a young age. My wife Nichole and I have been married 12 years, and together we have a 6 year old son (Parker) and 3 year old daughter (Lexi) who both love the farm. In my spare time I enjoy taking Parker hunting, fishing, woodworking, and fixing old tractors. “
How long have you been farming? How did you become involved in it?
“I’ve been involved with the farm my whole life. From a young age I would help out with whatever chores I could. I’ve always loved being around the cows, and as I got a little older I was able to drive tractors and run the machinery helping out with the field work. I didn’t always see myself coming back to the farm… after high school I went to college with the intention of becoming a teacher. It was the first time I had ever really been away from the farm.
I came home every weekend to work on the farm, and I dreaded going back to college every Sunday night. Just over a year into college I began to realize that my heart was in farming, and that’s what I wanted to do. I changed my major from secondary education and finished in 4 years with degrees in physics and geology. After graduating, Dad and I formed a formal partnership, and this spring will be 15 years operating together.
What is the main focus of your farm?
Dairy is the main focus of our farm. We milk around 50 cows which produce about 200 gallons of milk a day. We raise all our heifer (female) calves, so we have around 100 total. We grow and harvest almost all our feed on 225 owned and rented acres.
Considering the hardships farmers face in the United States especially, what keeps you from giving up on farming?
Honestly, it is a labor of love. I love working with the cows, and I love working the land. It is not a job, it’s a lifestyle. There are always bad days, but I can’t see myself doing anything else.
What do you think the future holds for farming in the United States?
The future of dairy farming in this country is worrisome. Small family farms like ours are disappearing at an alarming rate. Farms are becoming bigger with more cows, and are run like a factory with many employees and shifts. They are still producing good quality milk, but the cozy small farm where the cows have names and the farmers care for them and know them like pets is going by the wayside.
What is the best part of your farming life?
The absolute best part is sharing the farm life with my kids. They see what I do and are eager to help. They understand where their milk and meat come from and they know how hard we work to put it on the table. My heart melts when they go on and on at the dinner table about how good their milk is, and talk about which cow it might have come from.
Aside from raising our kids on the farm, my other favorite thing is working so closely with nature. There is something so amazing about helping a calf to be born, then raising that calf into mature milking cow. The same can be said for planting seeds and harvesting the crops.
What is the hardest part of your farming life?
This is a tough one to answer… I would have to say the disappointments. I had an old farmer tell me one time that it’s human nature to want to be in control, but it’s God that is in control, and we have to trust in him. I tell myself that whenever something happens that is out of my control.
You can put your heart and soul into getting a crop planted, only to have a drought or have a torrential rain that ruins it. Your favorite cow can get sick and despite your best efforts you may lose her. Machinery breaks at times when you need it the most. Cows go into labor at the most inconvenient times. Dinners are missed because something requires immediate attention. When I get sick, no matter how bad I feel, I still have to get up and get the work done because all the cows are counting on me.
Anything you would like to add?
When I tell people I’m a farmer, most will respond with “that’s a hard life”. They are right. But it’s a good life. There is nothing more satisfying to me than being able to do what I love day in and day out. At the end of the road, it’s not about how much money you made, but about the quality of life you lived. I am so blessed.
Debby Frisk is a homeschooling mom from Athens, Pa. She is also simply a mom who cares about her children. She encourages other parents who want to homeschool their children, for various reasons, but don’t believe they can. I asked her if she would tell my readers a little about her journey in homeschooling and offer some advice for parents who might be considering this style of schooling for their children.
Photos by Lisa R. Howeler
Tell us a little bit about yourself, where you are from, your family, your interests. My name is Deb Frisk, married to Tim Frisk for 25 years, with 2 daughters, Elizabeth age 19, and Leah age 16. I’m originally from Ellwood City, PA. We moved to Bradford County upon finishing college. I enjoy reading, puzzles and games of all varieties, watching musicals, going on walks, cats, and spending time with my family.
What careers have you held or do you hold now? I was hired by Towanda Area School district in 1992 to teach math and work with the deaf and hard of hearing students in the district. I worked there for 6 years before starting our family. Since then I’ve mainly been raising our children and homeschooling, but have worked for short times as a sign language instructor and for Early Intervention.
You are a homeschooling mom. How did you get involved in homeschooling? Homeschooling was always on our radar as an educational option even before we had kids. Because I have a teaching degree, I was asked to perform homeschool evaluations for a few homeschooling friends of ours. I was impressed with the quality curricula that is available to homeschoolers and with the character and academic excellence I saw in the homeschooled children that I met.
When our first child was diagnosed with autism, we were strongly encouraged to enroll her in school to help with socialization. We listened to the experts and put her in a year of private preschool and a year of public school for K-4. Although she had fabulous teachers and aides in both places, it was obvious to us and her teachers that school was not a suitable environment for her to learn, so the decision was made to bring her home for kindergarten.
We first enrolled her in a cyber charter school, which is public school done in the comfort of your own home. This worked well for us for several years, but whens he reached middle school, it became cumbersome to jump through all of the hoops that the school set before us and the decision was made to begin pure homeschooling.
What is your advice to parents who are considering homeschooling? I have a lot to say to people who are considering homeschooling. The first thing is that you CAN do it. You do not need a teaching degree to be a good teacher to your own children. Research has shown that parents without a teaching degree are just as successful as those with one. The next important thing to know is that there is no one right way to homeschool. It looks different for every family. Sometimes it takes a year or two (or three) to figure out what works and doesn’t work for your family. It’s good to talk to other families and see what they like and what works for them, but trying to copy others will likely make you unhappy. Do what’s best for your family. Next I’d suggest that you try to connect with other homeschoolers. Some people desire a lot of support others do it all on their own. There’s no right or wrong amount of connection either, but initially it’s good to talk to others to get ideas and to look at curriculum. Pennsylvania has an amazing homeschool convention in early June in Lancaster that I strongly recommend.
It’s a good place to attend seminars on homeschooling, pickup curriculum and examine it, possibly purchase some materials, and begin to network with others who’ve been-there-done-that. My personal preference on curriculum is to buy used, sell used. This keeps cost to a minimum for us. There are several different places where you can do this — used curriculum sales in your area and online sales being the main ways.
Do you have suggestions for resources or web sites where parents can learn more about homeschooling? For PA residents, my favorite resource is askpauline.com For anyone in the United States, I’d recommend hslda.org These 2 resources are great for telling you your state’s requirements for getting started and other required record-keeping.
Many use ebay for curriculum shopping, but my favorite is homeschoolclassifieds.com. I also use the Facebook group Homeschool Curriculum Marketplace.
There are probably hundreds or thousands of other quality websites to learn about homeschooling. I just don’t have specific recommendations.
What does homeschooling look like at your house? Homeschooling looks different for every family. Some people do school at home, copying what they’ve experienced in the classroom. Some people use a variety of materials including textbooks, workbooks, instructional DVDs, computer programs, field trips, hands-on projects and experiments, etc. While still others throw out conventional methods of learning and just follow their child(ren)’s interests and explore the world with them. One thing that we always say about our schooling is that the only subject that’s ever done at a desk or table is handwriting. Often you’ll find us curled up on the couch or in a bed reading together or alone. We use clipboards a lot when writing needs to be done.
We’re pretty eclectic meaning that we use a wide variety of resources for our learning. I prefer literature based curriculum. Usually whatever books the girls are reading for literature is related to the same topics they’re reading about in history. For some subjects my girls rely pretty heavily on traditional textbooks. In recent years we’ve moved towards instructional DVDs for some high school topics like chemistry and writing. They’ve both used computer programs for learning foreign languages.
I have one child who enjoys art, drama, and dance and we use a lot of outside lessons to provide instruction in those areas since that is not my area of strength. I also should add that what works for one child often is not appropriate for another. My girls have very different learning styles and strengths. I’ve often used totally different curriculum to cover the same subject material for them.
Some people have found that having a schedule is necessary for school work to be completed in their home. We’ve found that our girls work best when they can choose the order of their subjects and when they work on them. My only rule is that the assigned work needs to get done each day (though exceptions to the rule do happen). The girls have learned very good time management and planning skills. For example they’ve learned that it’s not wise to save their hardest subject for late in the day. One of my children likes to get up and get all of her work done as quickly as possible in order to be free for the rest of the day. This works really well for her. My other child does a subject and takes a break, does another, then takes a break. School takes her all day, but the result is the same at the end of the day and Mom is happy.
What do you like most and what’s the hardest part about homeschooling?
The answer to these questions is the same — Time spent with my children. I love the amount of time that I get to spend with my kids. I know them inside and out because we spend so much time together. I love being part of what they’re learning. We tried public school for a year or two with each of my girls and I really hated not being involved in what they were learning. I love being able to tie what they’re learning into everyday life, but if you don’t know what they’re learning in school, you’re not able to do that. I think my absolute favorite part of homeschooling ever was teaching them to read. I will be honest though. As much as I love spending time with my kids, there is never a break. When they were younger, sometimes they would be the only people I’d see for days at a time. It’s easier when they’re older and do activities on their own and aren’t always in the house, but the younger years were sometimes tough, but just sometimes. Mostly the time is a gift and I try to enjoy every moment of it. Oh, another perk for us is taking family vacations during the off-season. The crowds at most places are lowest in September right after all the kids go back to school. It’s the perfect time for us to hit the road. The same is true for any kind of activity or field trip. My kids have never been to Chuck E Cheese on a weekend.
What misconceptions do you think people have about homeschooling? The most common thing I hear when I tell someone that we homeschool — “Oh, I’m not against homeschooling or anything, but I just worry about socialization.” There are always exceptions, but I think it’s fair to say that most homeschoolers are better socialized then their public school counterparts. Most homeschoolers joke that we don’t know why it’s called home schooling because it sometimes feels like we’re never home. First of all, because we spend so much time with our kids, homeschool parents have lots of opportunities to train them on how to interact with people. Homeschooled kids as a group are extremely respectful and courteous. We attend a lot of group events (like roller skating, bowling, play practice, science fairs, and field trips) with other homeschoolers.
This gives our kids a chance to interact with other kids, but not just their age peers; they become comfortable with kids of all ages. Our kids spend more time in their communities than their public school peers. They go with their parents EVERYWHERE. They go shopping with us, to the dentist, to the post office, the gas station, you name it. They become very proficient and comfortable interacting with adults, not just other children at a young age. And like public school kids, you’ll find us participating in other things in our communities such as soccer, swimming, Little League, dance class, art class, piano lessons and recitals, etc.
photo by Mark Bradley 
Photo by Mark Bradley
How long have you been farming? How did you become involved in it?
