Fiction Friday: Mercy’s Shore Chapter 1

As you can tell, I’ve decided to try blogging my next book.

I can’t guarantee I’ll have chapters every week, but we will see how it goes.

As always, this will be a work in progress, chapters will not have been proofed and at the end, I’ll create a book that will be self-published.

The last book I presented this way comes out on Amazon/Kindle on Tuesday and I have set the price at 99 cents to allow my blog readers a chance to get it cheap. If you prefer to have a free copy in exchange for a review, leave me your email address or send it to me at lisahoweler@gmail.com and I’ll send you a Bookfunnel link with a copy of the book.

I hope you enjoy the first chapter of Ben Oliver and Judi Lambert’s story. As always, comments are welcome.

Chapter 1

If mentally unhinged and obnoxious had been Ben Oliver’s type Judi Lambert’s fluttering eyelashes and head tilt might have worked to calm him

But neither of those things interested him, which was why his heart was racing and a vein had popped out on the left side of his neck.

He gestured aggressively toward the tree his BMW was now wrapped around.  “You didn’t see the stop sign?”

Judi twisted a strand of straight, blonde hair around a finger and avoided eye contact. “Yeah, I saw it, I just —”

“You just what? Thought the stop sign was a suggestion?”

She blew her gum into a bubble, popped it between her lips, and sighed. “Calm down. I’m sure your car is —”

“Totaled, Judi. My car is totaled.” He tapped the screen of his cell phone. “My car is totaled because you thought you could beat me through the intersection.”

Holding the phone to his ear, he paced in place, waiting for someone to pick up.

“Hello, Attorney Ben Oliver’s office.”

“Cindi, hey, yeah. It’s me. I’ve been in an accident.”

“Oh my gosh, Ben. Are you okay?” The concerned voice of his middle-aged secretary sent a flurry of frustration rushing through him.

“I’m fine. I just need you to call Judge Stanton’s office and tell him I’m not going to be able to make court today.”

“No, problem. Should I call anyone else for you?”

There was no one else to call, other than his parents, and he could talk to them later.

“No. Thanks. See you later this afternoon.”

He slid his thumb across the screen of the phone and turned back to what was left of the car he’d purchased last year to congratulate himself on the opening of his own law office.

No, the office wasn’t in a big city, like he had thought it would be. It was located in a town thirty minutes from where he’d grown up in rural Pennsylvania. It was a law office, though, and it was his.

When he turned from inspecting the car, the lanky blond standing across from him slid her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and pushed out her chest at the same time she pushed out her bottom lip. Behind her was the red convertible she’d been driving, completely unharmed, of course.

She tipped her head to one side. “I’m sure we can work something out, right?”

No way. Was she seriously trying to seduce him?

She winked.

Yes, she was trying to seduce him. Luckily, he knew what a train wreck she’d turned into after high school. He wasn’t about to fall for her overplayed act.

“Work what out?” The more he yelled, the more his head throbbed. “My car is destroyed because of you.” He tossed his hands in the air. “There’s nothing to be worked out!” He pointed a finger at her. “You better hope your insurance covers this.”

She held her hands up in front of her. “Dude, calm down. You’re bleeding from the head. It can’t be good for you to be screaming like this.”

Ben practically growled as he took a step toward her, wincing as pain sliced through his ankle. “I know, I’m bleeding!” He spoke through gritted teeth. “You don’t think I know I’m bleeding?! My head bounced off the windshield when I swerved to miss your car!”

He pressed his handkerchief to his forehead as blood dripped into his eye with one hand, dialing 911 on his cellphone with the other.

“Yes, I need to report an accident,” he answered when the dispatcher asked what his emergency he was.

“Location?” the dispatcher asked.

He swiveled to look for the road signs at the intersection but when he stopped moving the rest of the world didn’t.

“Sir, can you give me a location?”

Black encroached at the edges of Ben’s sight, and he bent forward, propping his hands on his knees. The phone clattered to the dirt surface of the road.

“Sir? Are you okay? Sir?”

When he came to, Judi was leaning over him with his phone against her ear.

“Yes. He’s opening his eyes now. How far out are they?” She rolled her eyes. “Okay. I’ll try but he’s very stubborn.”

Judi held the phone to the base of her throat, slightly above her cleavage, still leaning over him.

“Ben, the dispatcher says you need to stay still until the ambulance gets here. It shouldn’t be long, ‘Kay?”

Kay? Yeah – kay. Where else was he going to go? His head was pounding, pain was shooting up through his ankle, and every time he tried to open his eyes the world — and Judi — spun into a whirl of colors. He clenched his eyes closed against the pulsating agony sliding back and forth from the front to the back of his head.

The next thirty minutes was a blur, voices fading in and out, images merging together, lights bright in his eyes. He didn’t know how much time had passed when the world came into focus again and the beeping of monitors drowned out his muddled thoughts.

“There he is. I think he’s coming to.”

What was Judi doing in his bedroom? This could not be a good sign. “Hey, buddy. How you feeling?”

Wait. He wasn’t in his bedroom. Thank God. That meant Judi wasn’t either.

A deep voice boomed across his thoughts. “I know it’s family only. I’m his father.”

Ben struggled to open his eyes, blinked in bright fluorescent, and squinted. He searched the room of hospital equipment, nurses, and Judi to find his father’s face etched with concern.

“Dad?”

“You’re awake. Thank God.”

His dad’s voice was thick with emotion. He stepped past the nurse and stood at Ben’s bedside, reaching out a large hand to clasp his son’s shoulder.

Ben closed his eyes briefly, trying to remember how he’d ended up here, IV needles sticking out of his arm, nodes glued to his forehead and chest. A vision of his car wrapped around a tree filled his mind and his eyes flew open, his gaze falling on Judi again.

It all came back to him, including the anger.

“What is she still doing here? She didn’t do enough by making me wreck my car?”

His dad looked at him through disappointed dark green eyes, lowering his voice. “Ben, she’s been waiting here for you to wake up. She easily could have left. I’ll cut you some slack since you’re injured, but I hope to see a little more kindness when your head is clearer.”

In his father’s words, Ben felt the sting of the reminder that he would never be as good, or as kind, as Maxwell Oliver.

How did his dad even know he was here? He certainly hadn’t called him. Then again, maybe he had. His brain was a little fuzzy on the last — how long had he been here?

“I need to call the office. I have a client coming in at 2.”

A smile tilted his dad’s mouth up. “It’s well after two, kid. Cindy already called and rescheduled. You need to lay back and relax. I’m going to find a doctor and see what the verdict is on that head injury of yours.”

With his father gone, Ben took the time to look around the room, his gaze settling once again on Judi, her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail, dark red lipstick freshly reapplied, finely manicured nails showcasing pink nail polish as she held her phone and texted furiously. She was sitting in a chair, one leg crossed over the other, her foot bouncing.

“Go home, Judi. I’m fine.”

She didn’t look up from her phone. “I have to stay. Matt McGee wants my statement about the accident. He said he’d meet me here.”

Ben shifted up on the hospital bed, looked down at his arm with the IV, his white button-up shirt stained with blood, and his khakis with the knees dark from when he’d fallen in the mud climbing out of the car.

Maybe it was the painkiller running into his bloodstream, maybe it was the exhaustion or the head injury, but a laugh came out of him.

“And what are you going to tell Officer McGee? The truth? That you completely ignored a stop sign and drove straight through the intersection and in front of me?”

Judi looked up, pursing her lips, and studying Ben for a few minutes before speaking. “Are you going to sue me?”

“Excuse me?”

“Just let me know if you’re going to sue me. I’ve got tons of bills already, okay? I need to know if I’m going to have even more to pay if you sue me.”

He sighed and pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes. “No, Judi. I am not going to sue you. The worse I’m going to do is have my insurance company send a claim to your insurance company.”

“Okay. Well, you’re a lawyer so, I wasn’t sure what you’d do.”

Ben made a face as he lowered his hands. “Lawyers don’t sue everyone just because we know how, Judi.”

Judi shrugged a shoulder and looked back at her phone, tapping her finger across the screen. “Just checking.”

“Mr. Oliver. How are we doing?”

He heard the voice before he saw the doctor who swept into the room. He tried to follow the imposing figure with his eyes, but they wouldn’t focus so he tipped his head back against the pillow instead.

The doctor flicked a light into his eyes quickly then held up a finger. “Can you follow my finger?”

Ben tried but his eyes kept going where he didn’t want them to.

The doctor dropped his hand and glanced over his shoulder at Maxwell, who Ben noticed had stepped back into the exam room. “That’s pretty consistent with what I suspected.”

“What’s the verdict then, Jim?” Maxwell asked, arms folded across his chest, expression serious.

“Pretty clear grade three concussion. I’d like to do an MRI to confirm.”

Ben tried to focus on his father and the doctor as they conversed but moving his gaze back and forth proved to be too much to handle and he eventually closed his eyes.

He listened to the conversation, not in the least surprised his father knew the doctor by his first name. It seemed like there wasn’t anyone in this smalltown Maxwell didn’t know.

“For now, I think we should keep him overnight for observation and if all the tests come back normal, he should be good to go in a couple of days.”

Ben opened his eyes, squinting in his father’s direction. “You two are aware that I’m right here and an adult with all my facilities?”

Maxwell laughed. “Sorry about that son. Jim and I went to high school together. I was already talking to him outside about your head injury, so we were simply continuing the conversation.”

Ben tried to nod, then winced. “Okay, well, listen, I’m sure I’ll be fine. I don’t want to stay here overnight. I have a court case in the morning and —“

“There’ll be no court for you for a while, kid.” His father’s stern voice overlapped his. “In addition to that head injury, Jim’s pretty sure your ankle is broken. You’re going to need some time to heal up.”

Maxwell pushed his hands into his front pant pockets and tipped his head down, looking over his gold-rimmed glasses. “Listen, I know it’s going to be hard for you not to be on the move, but I have a feeling you won’t be cleared to drive for at least a couple of weeks so I think you should stay with me and your mom while you recover.”

“Dad, come on, that’s —“

“Probably a good idea,” the doctor said. “We’ll see what the MRI shows but even if it doesn’t show anything worse, your head is going to need some time to heal. Driving could put you and others in danger. I’m going to call a nurse and have her finish cleaning out that gash and then we’ll sew it up for you.” He turned to Maxwell and held out his hand. “Max, good to see you.” He turned his head toward Ben while still holding Maxwell’s hand. “You’ve got a good dad here, Ben. I hope you know that.”

Ben leaned his head back again, eyelids drooping. “Yeah. I do. I certainly do.”

Sleep overcame him a few minutes later and when he woke up, he was in a hospital room, alone except for a nurse pressing buttons on a blood pressure machine next to the bed.

He patted his chest, then reached toward the bedstand next to the bed. “Is my phone around here?”

The nurse nodded toward the bedside table. “Over there charging. Your dad said you’d want it when you woke up.”

“How long have I been out?”

The nurse smiled as she turned to leave the room. “Sometime since yesterday. The morphine hit you hard.”

Ben winced as he pushed the button on the side of the bed, lifting the top so he could sit up. His head and ankle were throbbing. He glanced under the blanket and saw a temporary cast on the ankle, which probably meant it was broken after all.

“Great. Just what I need.”

He reached for the phone, wondering how many calls he’d missed while he was out.

Ten all together. Two were from clients, one was from his secretary. The last one was from the Spencer Valley Police Department, which was most likely regarding his statement about the accident.

His finger hovered over the last voice mail. He didn’t recognize the number, but the phone had already transcribed the first few lines of the message and it had done a horrible job. All he could make out that made sense was parents and birthday. Whose parents and whose birthday?

He pressed play on the message, groaning softly when the familiar voice started speaking.

“My parents sent you an invitation to Amelia’s party and I just want you to know that they sent it, not me. I don’t want you there. One call a year on her birthday doesn’t make you a father, Ben. So, just . . . just ignore the invitation.”

Muffled voices followed. Angie must have forgotten to hang up the phone. Ben heard what sounded like Angie’s mother in the background, then it was Angie again. “Yes, I did call him.  . . Because I didn’t ask you to contact him. . . . I understand he’s her father, but he’s never wanted to be in her life before, why would he now?”

The voicemail ended abruptly, and he sat staring at the screen for a few seconds, his thumb hovering over the delete button.

Taking a deep breath, he moved his thumb away from the button. He was under the influence of some heavy-duty painkillers. Maybe he’d better listen to the voicemail again when was more alert.

Then again —

His thumb moved back to the delete button and he tapped it.

Listening again wouldn’t make any of what Angie had said less true. He hadn’t even seen the invitation yet, but if he did, he knew what to do with it. Toss it in the trashcan like he had with all the other invitations he’d been sent for the last four years.

Fiction Friday: Some thoughts about when I know a story is starting to click

The best part of writing a fiction story is when the characters start to come to life in my mind. When that happens, I start to daydream about them— including their interactions, personalities, and conversations they might have with other characters. The magic really happens later on the page as I start to write it all down and the character starts to tell me their story from their point of view.

The daydreaming phase has started with Mercy’s Shore, book four in the Spencer Valley series, when I thought it might never come. This week I started to get to know Ben Oliver, the main character, better Now that we are getting a feel for each other, I’ll be able to tell his story.

It will take me a few more chapters before I really know Ben, obviously, but he’s starting to give me a peek at who he is, which he also did when I started to write a character biography for him a month or so ago.

Only through his actions, conversations, and interactions with those around him will I really find out who he is, though, and that will require me to just write.

As I write scenes begin to piece themselves together, other characters begin to show themselves, and conversations evolve from one piece of dialogue to the next as I imagine what one person would say and what the logical, or more interestingly, the more illogical response will be.

Before I know it, I’ll have Ben’s full story down on the page.

Now I just have to get to know Judi even better than I did in Harvesting Hope and add her story to the mix. Or maybe I’ll just stick with Ben telling the story. I plan to make that decision this weekend, but I have a feeling that Judi is the kind of person who isn’t going to let someone else tell her story. Not again that is. Ellie told it for the most part in Harvesting Hope. Now it’s Judi’s turn to speak out.

Now a little update for my blog readers on future plans for the Spencer Valley Chronicles:

As it stands now, I have (possible) plans for at least one more full-length novel and three novellas.

One novella will focus on the story of Molly’s grandparents Ned and Franny Tanner and will be historical in nature as we go back to when they first met.

Another novella will focus on the origin story of Robert and Annie, Molly’s parents.

A third novella will focus on Ginny and Stan Jefferies’ (you will learn more about them in Beauty From Ashes if you didn’t read the chapters on here) daughter Olivia and . . .well, you’ll have to wait to find out.

The full-length novel will feature Alex from The Farmer’s Daughter as the main character as he works through issues with his father, who, if you remember from The Farmer’s Daughter (spoiler if you have not read that) had been diagnosed with cancer.

I won’t give a time frame for when all these books and novellas will come out since I do have a couple of stand-alone books I am interested in writing in between.

I had considered writing a book about Spencer’s newspaper editor, Liam Finley, and I may still do that but I don’t know if I will include that book as part of the Spencer Valley Chronicles, or make it a separate, stand-alone novel. That story is starting to capture my attention more and more, probably because of my own background in newspapers and my current connection to them as well.

If you’ve been following along with these stories, what storyline most intrigues you? And are there stories of other characters you would like to see expanded on as well?

Fiction Friday: Book update and a glimpse at the next book in the Spencer Valley Chronicles series.

This week I thought I’d give an update on where the manuscript for Beauty From Ashes is. It’s now in the hands of a couple of editors but one of those editors has been piled under work and the other is sick with Covid. For those reasons and a couple of others, I’ve pushed back the release date of the book from April 26 to May 10. This will hopefully give me time to implement some suggestions from early readers and make any changes my editor wants me to make before the book is released, without my head exploding.

The book will have some extra scenes from what I shared on the blog and it will also be missing a couple of others. There have been several changes from the first draft, which is mainly what was shared on the blog, but none so huge they change the entire plot of the book.

The biggest thing I have had to remind myself during the process this time is my author tagline of “just have fun.” I wasn’t having fun with writing recently, was taking myself a bit too seriously, and trying to be something I am not.  I didn’t start writing these stories to be a traditionally published author so focused on career that they lose site of who they really are. This isn’t to say that traditionally published authors don’t know who they are but I know that I would lose that if I was traditionally published and being told what I have to write, how to write it, and when to write it. It would stress me out to no end but that is because I am stressed out by a lot. There are other writers are not stressed out by every little thing and while I’m working on not being stressed out by things (I swear I’ve come a long way, even though I have a long way to go), right now in my life I need to take the easiest road possible to tell my stories.

So, anyhow, while I wait for more rewrite suggestions for Beauty From Ashes, I am starting to write a couple of other books, including Mercy’s Shore, which will be the next book in the Spencer Valley Chronicles series.

Because I often share everything first with my blog readers, this is the tentative cover of the book.

It could definitely change before the final publication sometime next year (or maybe late this year if I really get some inspiration and push forward fast on this book).

Mercy’s Shore will focus on Molly Tanner’s ex-boyfriend Ben Oliver and possibly on Ellie’s obnoxious, recovering-alcoholic sister, Judi Lambert. I haven’t definitively decided if Judi will be in the story or not. Similar to Beauty From Ashes, the book will not be a strict romance. I won’t give too much away, but it is possible Judi and Ben will not be romantically linked throughout the book.

After all, Ben has some amends to make to his ex-girlfriend Angie and to their daughter, Amelia, who he abandoned while trying to earn his law degree and pass the bar. In Mercy’s Shore, we will learn more about why that happened and what led Ben to be so focused on career over family.

I’m still plotting this one out, but thought I would share with you what I’ve written so far, which is literally a few paragraphs that may or may not end up being in the final book.

When the world stopped spinning, Ben Oliver was upside down, his seatbelt digging into his chest. Underneath him were shards of glass and something warm and slippery dripped into his eyes.

For a moment he thought it was oil from the engine. Even when red splattered the shattered windshield beneath him he couldn’t comprehend it was him that was bleeding. Of course it was him bleeding. He’d been the only one in the car when he’d jerked the wheel to the right to miss the deer and had sent his silver BMW careening over the embankment.

So, this is it, he thought. This is how it all ends. Not with a whimper but a bang after all.

A lot of bangs actually. He was sure that his BMW was totaled but worse than that was the pain searing through his sternum, back, and head, not to mention the blood now pooling in the shards of broken glass. He was beginning to wonder if he was totaled as well.

His hand slipped up to the seatbelt buckle, searching for the button to release it, but then he hesitated. If he released it there was a bed of glass waiting for him. He had to think this through, brace his legs and arms somehow before he released himself from his upside down prison.

In the end it didn’t matter anyhow. The seatbelt buckle wouldn’t release, no matter how many times he hit it and he was left to listen to the metal of the car creaking and groaning as it settled into its new position on its roof in the middle of the woods.

I’m not sure if I will share this one on the blog or not.

I’m also not sure if I will be sharing any of Lily on the blog, which is a different type of book for me and the other book I am working on. Lily will be based on the character Lily from A New Beginning, the book about Blanche Robins and Judson T. Wainwright.

Spoiler alert if you haven’t read the book — If you remember, Lily became pregnant at 15 after she slept with a man who had drugs she wanted. Blanche’s sister, Edith, and brother-in-law, Jimmy, were going to adopt Lily’s baby and in the end, decided to take Lily in as well.

Lily will be written in the first person and though the topic matter will be dark, I’m going to try to not make the entire book dark and depressing. There will be hope, especially as the book progresses and marches to the end. I am in the plotting stages of this book as well. When I write “plotting” I should mention that I have considered myself a “panster” writer in the past. A panster in writing is a person who writes by the seat of their pants and simply sees where the story will go.

For future books, I’ll be considering myself a hybrid pantser-plotter fiction writer. I will be plotting some of the book while also writing away and seeing where it goes. I want to plot more of the stories out from now on but also not plot so much that the book feels stale and cookie-cutter or formulaic. All books are formulaic in a way, I recognize that, but some genres make a book feel even more formulaic and predictable than others and Christian fiction is one of the worse for that. I don’t know if I will continue writing under the strict Christian fiction genre, but I do know my books will remain “clean.”

I’ve shared a little of Lily on here before, but will share a few paragraphs here to give you an idea of why it will be a different book for me.

That lady social worker said it didn’t hurt to push out a baby.

She lied.

It hurt like that place Mama said I was gonna go for getting pregnant in the first place. I never felt so much pain in my life. I thought I was going to die.

They wanted me to hold the baby, but I didn’t want to. She wasn’t mine anyhow. She belonged to those people I’d met at the agency.

That baby was squawking and hollering; all red and squishy and ugly. I told that nurse to take it away and let those people who were going to be her parents deal with it.

I don’t remember much after that. I slept for hours and hours. Everything in my body hurt and I was so weak I could barely stand. When I opened my eyes, it was dark, and I knew I had to get out of there.

Having something growing in you for nine months is weird.

Pushing it out through your private area while you scream is weird.

Giving that baby to people you only met once is weird too.

It’s all as weird as what that man did to me that left that baby in my belly in the first place.

The nurses didn’t hear me leave.

That social worker wasn’t even there.

My clothes were in a drawer by the bed at the hospital and I changed into them quickly. I cried because it hurt so bad all over. The area where that baby came from hurt the worse. Blood ran down my leg and I wiped it away.

I walked a long way to get to Mama. Wind whipped my hair across my face, cold bit at my bare skin. My stomach ached from hunger and my body screamed for sleep. I didn’t think I’d makeit.

I could barely lift my hand to pound on the door to her apartment when I finally got there. She didn’t open it for a long time and when she did, she was angry.

“How did you even find your way back here?”

She spat the words out like chew in a bucket.

“Mama, I’m tired.” I clutched at my stomach. “Hungry.”

“What do you want me to do about it? Didn’t those social workers feed you anything?”

“Mama —“

“Don’t call me Mama. You know I don’t like that.” She scowled in disgust. “You’re bleeding all over the hallway. You have that baby yet?”

I nodded weakly, wincing when she grabbed my upper arm, ripping me forward into the darkness of the apartment, bouncing my side off a wall.

“Get in here and stop bleeding on my rug.”

She shoved me down the hallway toward the living room. I collapsed on the couch, grasping at the musty smelling cushions as the room began to spin.

Maybe it was days. Maybe it was hours. Maybe it was weeks  before there were voices at the door and strong arms lifting me. I don’t really remember. It was all a blur of sweat and pain and Mama’s pinched and angry face, her screams cutting through my nightmares.

That day was the last time I saw Mama.

Now I’m living here in this place with a bunch of trees and open fields and a stream like I saw a picture of once in a book.

I don’t know what life will be like now, but anything has got to be better than where I came from.

So that is my Fiction Friday update. Hopefully in future weeks, I will have some original fiction to share with you, especially if I decide to blog Mercy’s Shore, which I hope to be able to write a little bit faster than other books.

Special Fiction Saturday: A New Chapter Chapter 25

Here is a special extra chapter from Beauty From Ashes, or A New Chapter for the sake of the blog. We are almost to the end! I mentioned yesterday that the book releases April 26. If you want to pre-order it, you can do so HERE, or HERE but I am also going to be offering to send a copy to my blog readers for free once I have the final version.

If any of you are interested in being on the launch team for the book, you can sign-up HERE. Signing up doesn’t require a large commitment. I just ask that you share the information I will send you about the book on your social media sites leading up to the release of the book and afterwards. In exchange for your help, you will receive a free ebook copy of the book. If you have the opportunity to leave a review of the book on the various sites it will be on sale on, that would be nice too.

Feel free to let me know what you think about this latest chapter in the comments.

Chapter 25

The crisp morning air was helping to wake Matt up, but he knew a cup of coffee from the Community Cup coffee shop would help even more. Sure, he’d had coffee at home, but not with the fancy foam on top that made everything better. Maybe the barista, Wendy, would even swirl a heart into the whip cream for him like she normally did.

Liz’s comments about him being beloved by the town snuck into his mind as he walked. He’d never considered himself someone women flirted with and it had never occurred to him that maybe Wendy had been flirting all this time until now. Oh. He probably shouldn’t have winked all those times and told her she was his favorite barista ever. He’d have to be more careful about sending mixed signals from now on. The only one he wanted to send signals to was Liz.

“Matt!”

He turned at the sound of Stan’s voice from across the street and raised his hand in a greeting. Stan waved him over. Looked like the coffee would, unfortunately, have to wait.

“Hey.” Stan stepped aside to allow Matt into the real estate office, the other desks in the main office empty. “You got a minute?”

“Sure. I’m sure you’ve heard that I have more than a minute these days.”

Stan winced. “Yeah. When I first heard about it, I thought it was because we’d been sneaking around that building.” He gestured toward his office in the back. “Coffee?”

It wasn’t Community Cup coffee, but — “Sure. I could use another cup.”

Stan poured two mugs from a coffee pot that looked like it had seen better days. “Hate to say this, but in a way I’m glad you decked that Martin guy. No one deserved it more than him. I know it’s not the Christian thing to say, but sometimes I feel like if some of these kids had been paddled more as children they wouldn’t have turned out to be such awful adults.”

Matt took the mug of coffee and sat in a chair across from Stan’s desk. “You might be right.”

“Speaking of Martin, I have some news about who owns the abandoned building.” Stan slid a sheet of paper across his desk as he sat down. “Terry ‘Buck’ Simms.”

Matt made a face. “Who?”

“Buck Simms was a business owner who used to live here.” Stan sipped from his coffee and winced, then stood and poured creamer into the sludge. “Owned several buildings, warehouses, a few stores and essentially became a small-town slum lord. All those houses they tore down on the other side of the tracks last year were once his. He never took care of them, didn’t help the tenants, charged them crazy rent. He moved away from here about ten years ago. The deed is still in his name.”

Matt nodded. “Okay. That’s great. Once the property is released from the police, maybe you can track him down and he’ll sell the land.”

Stan leaned forward on the desk, shoulders stooped. The sunlight streaking in through the window hit his face and Matt noticed the puffy skin under his eyes, and the pale pallor to his skin for the first time.

“That could be a problem. No one has been able to find Buck in ten years. The council tried to track him down years ago to get those buildings either fixed up or torn down. They finally seized them through a court order after Buck never responded to all the messages sent to his last known address somewhere in Montana.” He took the paper again, pondered it and sat back in his chair. “Here’s the other thing. Some of Buck’s family still lives here in Spencer.”

Matt took a longer sip of the coffee. He didn’t know what brand Stan was brewing but it was certainly waking him up. “So maybe we can track them down, find Buck, and get the property signed over.”

“Again, might be a problem. It took me a bit, but I finally remembered who Buck was related to. Gabe. On his mom’s side. He’s Gabe’s great uncle.”

Matt set the mug down on the desk. “Oh. Okay, well that does change things.”

“Yeah, it does.”

It also makes Bernie’s story a lot more believable, Matt thought as he stared into the coffee mug.

The opening of the front door startled both men.

“Must be Emily. I gave her the morning off. Her mom’s been sick, and she’s been taking care of her.” He looked at his watch and quirked an eyebrow. “She’s a little early, though.”

It wasn’t Stan’s secretary who stood in the doorway of Stan’s office a few seconds later, though. Mud streaked across Bernie’s cheek and dark circles marked the skin under his eyes. A hole was ripped in the knee of his jeans, and he was breathing hard.

“Matt, I need to talk to you.”

Matt set his coffee mug down. “Yeah, I need to talk to you too.” He stood and gestured toward the door. “Let’s talk outside.”

Bernie shook his head, stepped into the office, and shut the door. “No way. The cops are looking for me, but I’m guessing you know that by now.”

Matt glanced at Stan whose coffee mug was half to his mouth, his eyes focused on Bernie.

“Why don’t we let Stan head out then?”

Bernie shook his head. “No. I don’t want him calling the cops. Not until I talk to you.”

Bernie sat in the chair across from Stan’s desk. Matt remained standing, leaning back against a bookcase on the far wall. “Why did you run, Bern? Were those drugs yours?”

Bernie shook his head vigorously. “No. No. They were planted. I’m telling you the truth, Matt, just like I was telling you the truth about Gabe. I’ve got proof now too.”

Matt folded his arms across his chest. He wasn’t sure he was buying this story. “Where?”

“On my phone.” Bernie thrust the phone toward him. “I also emailed it to myself and uploaded it to the cloud for safe keeping. I ran because there was a meet up with Gabe and another dealer and I knew if I told the cops they wouldn’t believe me. I heard the other guy talking about it when I was leaving after I dropped that package off. I didn’t know if it was still going down but I needed to try. I had to get the proof, get myself off the hook. Gabe saw me, though, and now they’re all after me — the cops, Gabe and the other guy he was with. At this point it’s just a matter of who gets to me first.”

Stan set his mug down. Matt could tell he was bewildered, maybe even a bit anxious, but he was hanging in there. He looked less freaked out than when they’d found the drugs at least.

Matt took the phone and pushed play on the video.

Great. That was definitely Gabe with another guy at a building that looked similar to the abandoned one. He couldn’t make out every word they were saying but Gabe was gesturing toward packages that looked a lot like heroin and the man across from him was shouting back, something about “It’s not my fault if your mules are incompetent!”

He kept his eyes on the screen as Gabe took a stack of cash from the man. “We need to get this to the state police.”

Gabe turned toward the camera seconds before it went black. “How did you get away?”

Bernie ran his hands along his jeans, letting out a breath. “I had a head start. It was dark where I was, I didn’t think he saw me, just heard the twig break under me when I stepped back. I was in my car and part way down the road when I heard him yelling. There was a couple of gunshots, but I kept driving. I hid out at Lover’s Valley until about 3 a.m. and then I walked to your place and waited behind your woodshed but fell asleep.” He laughed softly, dragging a hand through his hair. “Some criminal I am, huh? Anyhow, when I woke up you were pulling out, so I took the risk and followed you to town. I knew you’d listen.”

Matt glanced out the window. “You think anyone followed you?”

Bernie leaned back in the chair, shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know. Like I said, I’m not really very good at this criminal stuff. You should know that better than anyone.”

Matt huffed out a small laugh. He was right. Professional criminal Bernie was not. Nailing him for the burglary and all the other petty crimes he’d committed had been fairly easy all those years ago.

Stan stood and separated the blinds with his fingers. “I don’t know if Bernie was followed by Gabe or the other guy, but there’s a trooper pulling up across the street.”

Matt stood behind him, looked over his shoulder. “That’s Dan. He’s probably looking for me to see if we found out any more about who owns the building.”

Behind them Bernie stood, shifting his weight anxiously from one foot to the other. “Is he coming here? He can’t come here. I can’t get caught.”

Matt turned to face him. “Bern, you’ve got proof.”

“Not that those drugs aren’t mine.” He slid his hands behind his back and when he pulled them in front of him one was holding a 9 mm. “I’m also not supposed to have this. I’m on probation.”

Stan scowled, his hands still on the blinds. “Then why do you?”

“For protection.” He tipped his head up toward the ceiling, sucking in a breath. “It was my dad’s. I know it was stupid, but I didn’t know what I was going to face when I got to that meet up.”

Matt watched Dan climb out of the police vehicle and head across the street toward the office. “We don’t have much time here. We need to make a decision. Pretty sure Dan knows I’m in here. Not sure about you.”

Bernie paced in the small office space between the chair and the bookcase, the gun in his hand. “He’s not going to listen. I know he’s not. If I keep you guys in here, maybe then he’ll stop long enough to listen.”

This situation was going to bad to very bad in a very short amount of time. “Bernie, you’re not thinking clearly. It’s just Dan looking for me to discuss the case. You’ve already run from the state police and now you’re going to hold me and Stan hostage? If we have any chance of getting you out of all this and keeping you out of jail, then I’d advise you not to even think of that scenario.”

Bernie stopped pacing and looked at Matt. “Yeah, I know. It’s stupid. I don’t want to do that. I just need some time.”

Matt walked toward the door. “I’m going to stop him in the front of the office. We just need to talk to him, show him the video. We’ll figure the rest out later. If he can get to Gabe, then maybe he can get him to fess up to trying to set you up for the fall.”

Bernie clutched at the hair at the top of his head, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “I don’t know, man. I don’t think this is going to work.”

Matt held his hand up. “Stay calm, Bern, and put that gun away. You’re not helping your case right now.”

Bernie’s eyes flicked toward the gun, and he nodded, stashing it in the back of his jeans again.

Matt stepped out of Stan’s office, pulling the door closed behind him, at the same moment Dan stepped in.

“McGee.” Dan nodded in the curt way the way state troopers do, which always made Matt wonder if the hat made their heads too heavy to nod normally.

“Trooper McCallister.”

“I thought I saw your truck down the street and took a hunch you might be meeting with Jefferies. Has he got anything on the building owner?” He propped one hand on his duty belt and leaned his hip against Emily’s desk with the other.

“He does, but I’m finishing up another meeting in here. Can we meet at the coffee shop in a few minutes?”

Matt caught a flash of suspicion in Dan’s eyes as he glanced at the closed door over Matt’s shoulder, but he nodded that curt node again. “Sure. Ten minutes?”

Matt tried the curt nod and had to admit it was a bit more efficient and easier on the neck in some ways. “Yep. Perfect.”

Dan turned toward the front door, hesitated and turned back toward Matt again. “Everything okay in here?”

Matt smiled. “Yeah. Totally fine. Just some private real estate business.”

He hated lying but he needed a couple more minutes to convince Bernie it was in his best interest to talk to Dan.

Dan narrowed his eyes but he reached for the handle of the front door. “Okay, then, see you in a bit.”

He walked out but Matt could tell he didn’t believe him. A good cop wouldn’t, and Dan was a good cop. His instinct had kicked in, which meant Matt didn’t have long to talk Bernie into turning himself in and working out a deal with the staties.

When he entered the office Bernie was pacing again, rubbing his fingernails across his front teeth, looking at the floor. Stan was sitting at his desk watching him, his arms folded across his chest, his brow furrowed. Matt was sure this wasn’t how he’d expected to spend his morning. He’d already looked exhausted before Bernie walked in. He was looking completely beat down now.

Matt sat on the edge of the desk. “Okay, Bern, here is the deal. I’m meeting with Dan down at the coffee shop down the street in ten minutes. I want you to come with me and talk to him. It might mean you being taken into custody for a short time but —”

Bernie looked up sharply and shook his head. “No. I can’t go back to jail.”

Matt held up his hand. “Calm down. They’ll just need to question you. I’m going to vouch for you, show Dan the video and convince him that you’re not involved other than delivering that one package.” He leaned forward slightly, returning his hand to a position in the crook of his arm. “That’s all you did, correct.”

“Yes!” Bernie’s tone denoted his frustration and he tossed up his hands. “That’s it. I swear to you.”

Matt crossed one ankle over the other, doing his best to appear relaxed, even if he didn’t feel it. “Then you’ll be fine. We’re going to walk down there together and work this out. I’m going to have your back, okay?”

Bernie had been lied to a lot in the past. Matt was sure of that. He also knew that trust was a hard thing to have when so many had broken that trust before. “I know it is going to take a huge leap of faith for you to trust the guy who arrested you in the past.” He tipped his chin up to keep his eyes focused on Bernie’s. “But I need you to trust me that want to help keep you on the right track and bring you home to your kids. Let me help you, okay?”

Bernie let go of the hair he’d been clutching on the top of his head and stopped packing. He looked up at Matt, locked eyes with him, and inclined his head in agreement. “Okay.” His Adam’s apple bounced as he swallowed hard. “I trust you. Let’s go do this.”

Matt gestured toward the door, tipped his head toward Stan. “Wish us luck. I’ll be in touch about what I find out about the property.”

Stan nodded back, concern clouding his eyes. “I’d appreciate it.”

Matt set his shoulders back, hoped he looked more confident than he felt at the moment. Would Dan accept Bernie’s explanation? Or would he slap the cuffs on him before Bernie could even speak? He held the door for Bernie and then followed him out onto the sidewalk.

He slid his sunglasses on as the sun came out from behind a cloud and then zipped his jacket up to his chin when a cool breeze brushed across his skin. The coffee shop was only a block away and Bernie wasn’t enough of a wanted man they couldn’t walk that far in broad daylight.

The round of gunshots that exploded beside and around him in the next second sent a bolt of shock through him and left his ears ringing. He grabbed Bernie’s shoulder and shoved him to the sidewalk, reaching for the handgun gun strapped to his ankle. The revolver was his personal gun and the only one he had since he was on suspension. He clutched the back of Bernie’s shirt and dragged him backward into the doorway of Millie’s bakeshop, frantically scanning the parked cars and the second story windows in the buildings across the street.

Two people walking out of the diner down the street, ducked back inside and he watched the front window fill with curious, and frightened, onlookers. A groan next to him pulled him from his surveillance and he looked down to see Bernie crouched over, clutching his stomach, red dripping through his fingers and staining the concrete doorway of the bakery.

Fiction Friday: A New Chapter Chapter 24

We are getting toward the end of this one and toward the release date for the final book. If you want to pre-order the book you can do so HERE and HERE.

If you want to catch up with the rest of the story click HERE.


I think this is my final book cover. I think anyhow.

Chapter 24

Matt rolled over and groaned as pain shot up through his back. Splitting wood for two days in a row was definitely a lot harder on his body than most days as a police officer in Spencer Valley. It wasn’t that he wasn’t used to splitting wood. It was that he usually did it in smaller spurts, not two days straight. But what else did he have to do until the investigation into his incident with Gabe was over? He’d already cleaned out the fridge and Alex’s messes, picked up his deer from the butcher and loaded that in the freezer, and been to the gym every day this week, despite hating every second of working out.

Eventually, he was going to have to accept the fact there was a very good possibility he wasn’t going to be a cop much longer and start looking for a new job. Looking out of the area wasn’t an option now since it would mean leaving Liz and Bella, unless, of course, they wanted to go with him.

He sat up on the edge of the bed and stretched his arms over his head, wincing as muscles he’d forgotten he’d ever had protested their overuse the day before.

Even answering his phone when it rang sent pain shooting up through his biceps and shoulder. “Yeah?”

“McGee. Got a problem.”

Dan. Great. Now what?

“What’s up?”

“Your buddy Bernie took off on us when we tried to question him about the drug cave.”

Matt rubbed the back of his hand across his eyes to chase away the sleep. “Took off? What do you mean?”

“Took us for a run in the woods, jumped in some old junker, and took off. He was gone before we could get back to our cars. Any idea where he might have gone?”

“No idea.”

“Keep an eye out for him, will you? Because we got a search warrant and found about five kilos of heroin in a shed on his property. It’s clear he was trying to throw you off the scent by implicating Martin.

Matt pressed his hand against his forehead. No way. Bernie couldn’t be that stupid. “It could have been planted.”

Dan let out a breath. “Listen, bud, I know you want to think this guy turned his life around. We all wish that would happen with the guys we arrest but more times than not, it doesn’t. Just let me know if he contacts you, okay?”

“I definitely will. Anything more on Gabe?”

Dan sighed. “Not yet, but we’ll keep looking. Did you find out who owns that building through your real estate friend? I haven’t had a chance to get over to the register and recorder’s office.”

Matt stood and opened his dresser, pulling out a T-shirt. “No. Not yet.”

Dan took a sip on the other end of the phone and Matt imagined it was coffee he was sipping since he was an avid coffee drinker, which reminded him how much he needed some coffee right now. “I know you have your heart set on it being Gabe, but all the evidence is pointing toward Bernie. Why else would the drugs be in his shed, for one, and two, why else would he run?”

Matt trapped the phone between his shoulder and chin while he pulled a pair of jeans over his boxers. “Afraid of going back to jail for one. He’s married now with a couple of kids.”

“He should have thought of that before he stored all those drugs in his shed. The running makes him look even guiltier. Just call me if you see him.”

The line went dead, and Matt tossed the phone on his bed.

He needed coffee if he was going to be able to tackle the rest of this day.

A lot of coffee.

***

Ginny’s hands shook as she poured coffee into a travel mug. It wasn’t helping her situation that her mind was racing and causing her heart to do the same, or that she hadn’t slept more than three hours the night before. The bed had been cold and lonely. Physically this time. For years it had been cold and lonely emotionally but having it cold and lonely both physically and emotionally had been almost too much to bear.

She’d considered calling Liz more than once, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Liz was in a place of happiness at the moment, swept up in newly discovered love, or more accurately newly admitted love. Calling to dump all her emotional baggage on the poor young woman seemed cruel.

“I really need to get some friends my age.” The words came out of her softly, even though she knew no one else would hear her. Stan had kept true to his word and spent the night away from home, hopefully at the Blueberry Inn. Olivia was most likely still asleep and even the cat had chosen the warmth of the comforter on her freshly made bed over watching her mope around the kitchen this morning.

“Having friends your own age is highly overrated.”

Ginny jumped and almost screamed at the sound of her daughter’s voice behind her. “Olivia!” She swung to face her. “Where did you come from?”

Olivia walked past her on the way to the refrigerator, turned her head and winked. “Your womb, my dear lady.”

Ginny shook her head, laughing. “Very funny, young lady.”

Olivia snatched up the cream cheese and a carton of milk. “What’s all this menopausal depression this morning? All this worrying about not having friends your age?”

Ginny smiled faintly and returned to packing her lunch. “Oh, just lamenting the loss of friendships over the years, I suppose.”

Olivia took a bagel out of the bread box, broke it, and slid it into the toaster. “But you have Liz. It shouldn’t matter she’s not your age. Having friends of different ages, sexes, and backgrounds gives you different perspectives on things, right?”

Ginny zipped her bag closed. “Well, that’s an interesting way to look at it. I was just thinking that sometimes we are in different stages in our lives so sometimes we might not be able to relate to each other.”

Olivia poured a glass of juice and took a sip. “What can’t Liz relate to that’s going on in your life right now?” She turned away from the counter and leaned back against it, her eyebrow cocking like a revolver. “Tell me, Mom. What’s going on right now that you’re worried to talk to Liz about?”

Ginny smiled, shook her head twice, and reached for her jacket. She couldn’t tell her daughter what was going on. Not yet anyhow, not unless Stan demanded a divorce. Then, of course, she’d have to tell her. But for now, she simply couldn’t let her daughter know what she’d done, the horrible mistake she’d made. She looked at Olivia, who was looking at her and took a deep breath. Olivia was so young, so beautiful, so bright. She had her whole future in front of her. Maybe she did need to know what mistakes her mother had made over the years, including last week. Maybe then she wouldn’t make the same mistakes.

She told her quickly, the words rushing out of her as if by saying them faster they wouldn’t hurt as much. “Keith kissed me last week when we went out to dinner. I didn’t want him to, didn’t expect it, and I told him I didn’t appreciate it. Your father found out before I could talk to him and was very upset. That’s why he wasn’t here last night for dinner and why he hasn’t been home all night.”

Olivia’s eyebrows rose in unison this time. She let out a quiet gasp, her mouth dropped slightly open, and she leaned forward as if she hadn’t heard correctly. “Excuse me? Are you serious?”

Ginny sucked in a breath. Maybe this had been a bad idea. “I wish I wasn’t, but yes, I am serious.”

Olivia’s eyes stayed wide as she slumped back against the counter, her arms at her sides. “Wow. Okay, well, I knew something was going on, but I did not expect that.” She whistled and looked at the floor for a moment before looking back at her mom. “So, what’s the deal? Do you still love Dad or what?”

“Of course, I love your dad!” Tears filled Ginny’s eyes. “More than I ever have.” She touched a fingertip against the corner of her eye to catch a tear before it ran and messed up her makeup.

Oliva bit her lower lip for a brief moment before asking, “He’s been ignoring you lately, hasn’t he?”

Ginny’s lower lip quivered in a silent answer as she looked away from her daughter. She shrugged a shoulder. “He’s been busy.” Her gaze drifted out the kitchen window, into the neighbor’s yard where a hummingbird was hovering at a feeder under the edge of the porch roof. She looked back at Olivia. “But that is no excuse. I never should have been alone with Keith or swept up by his charm and sweetness. Or the way he noticed my hair when your father didn’t. Or how he seemed to be excited about going out to dinner with me.” She rolled her eyes. “When your father wasn’t.”

The bagel popped up and Oliva turned and began to spread cream cheese on one side, her back to Ginny. “Mom, listen. I understand. You felt neglected. It makes sense how you lost sight of who you are for a few moments.”

 It was clear Oliva was missing the point. Ginny needed to be sure she didn’t miss the point.

“But it doesn’t matter if I felt neglected. I made a commitment to stay with your father through it all — the good and the bad, sickness and health. All of that. Liv, look at me.” Olivia looked over her shoulder to look at her mom and Ginny took a step toward her. “I made vows with your father. That’s important, okay?”

Oliva set the butterknife down and turned to face Ginny. “Yes, Mom. I do. Really.” She walked to Ginny and slid her arms around her, pulling her into a hug. “I know. I’m sorry. I just want you to know that I understand. I know you made a mistake. You know you made a mistake.” She leaned back, placing a hand on her mom’s shoulders. “Dad should understand that too and listen to you. Did you tell him how much you still love him? That you didn’t want the kiss from Keith?”

Ginny nodded. “Yes, and he still walked away.”

Olivia sighed. “Give him time. That’s all he needs. If he can just see that part of this is his fault, then maybe he’ll realize he’s also part of the solution.”

Ginny slid her coat on and began to button it closed. “I hope so. For now, though, I need to head to the library. I have to meet Liz and brainstorm plans for the new story hour we’re going to start and finish the final details for the fundraiser  and — oh!” She clapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh, my goodness! I forgot to order the cake for Clint and Tiffany’s homecoming party.”

Oliva walked over and buttoned the top button on Ginny’s coat. “Mom, calm down. I’ll order the cake. What am I ordering? Who am I calling? Give me all the details and I’ll handle it.”

“Oh, honey, thank you. I would appreciate it. I’ll text you the details when I get to the library. I need to go unlock it so Liz and Sarah can get in.” She blew out a breath. “And hopefully no one else.”

Special Fiction Saturday: A New Chapter Chapter 23

I shared Chapter 22 yesterday and you can catch up with the rest of the chapters HERE, or wait for it to come out as an ebook and in paperback in late April.


Chapter 23


The coffee on Ginny’s tongue was bitter, like her thoughts about herself at this point. She’d replayed the kiss with Keith over and over in her mind, not because she’d enjoyed it but because she still couldn’t believe she’d let it happen.

It had felt good to be wanted, for lack of a better word, but Keith wasn’t who she hoped to be wanted by. She’d barely spoken to Stan in the last few days. Thankfully he’d been at meetings or showings most of the week and she’d been busy preparing for Clint and Tiffany’s homecoming. It all kept her from having to feel any more uncomfortable around him. She had no idea how to even broach the conversation. Thank God he hadn’t asked her how dinner with Keith had gone. What would she have said?

“Nice. Food was great. The atmosphere was cozy and calming. That kiss at the end of the night was a bit of a shock, but what’s one to do when your husband is too busy to notice you’re still alive?”

She groaned, pressing a hand against her forehead, wishing she could chase away the ache increasing there. No, she couldn’t and wouldn’t say that. It would make it sound like she’d wanted the kiss, when she hadn’t.

The squeak of the back door alerted her she wasn’t alone. It was either Liz or Sarah and she was hoping for the latter because she knew Liz would want to know why she hadn’t been answering her phone the last couple of days.

Sarah, however, hadn’t been early or even on time lately so it was most likely —

“Ginny? You up there?”

Of course, she was up there, hiding in her office, waiting for the coffee to kick in and help her figure out how or even if she was going to talk to Stan about what had happened. He quickly swiped at the tears on her cheek as footsteps thumped on the stairs outside her door.

“Hey, where have you been? I’ve been trying to reach you for days.” Liz set her bag down on a chair and unwound the scarf around her neck. She didn’t wait for Ginny to answer. “I was going to call you last night, but it was too late once Matt left so I decided to wait until this morning.”

Ginny abandoned her self-focused thoughts at the words “too late once Matt left.” She looked at Liz with a quirked eyebrow. “Once Matt left?”

Liz’s eyes widened. “Oh. Not like that. He just stopped by to talk.” Red flushed along her cheekbones. “Well, and there was a kiss.” She looked up at the ceiling, biting her lower lip. “Or two or three.” She brought her eyes back to Ginny’s, a small smile tugging at her mouth. “But it really was only kisses. The rest of the night we tried to help Bella calm down and get some sleep.”

At least someone was finding happiness. Ginny raised her arm in a victory fist pump. “Yes! I knew you two would finally figure it out.”

Liz moved her bag and sat in the chair laughing. “Thanks. Yeah, it took a bit but we got there.” Her smile faded as she tipped her head and studied Ginny. Ginny turned in the office chair quickly. Maybe she hadn’t wiped all the tears away or was her mascara running? It was supposed to be waterproof. Why was Liz looking at her that way?

“What’s going on? You look funny.”

Ginny picked up her mug of coffee, breathed in deep the smell of coffee beans, vanilla, and sugar. She sipped slowly, savoring the flavor on her tongue, wishing she could spend the rest of her day sipping coffee and focusing on flavor instead of failure.

“Ginny, did something happen?” Liz’s voice thickened with full-blown concern. “With Stan?” Ginny shook her head slowly and Liz’s eyebrows raised as she tilted her head forward to listen. “With Keith?”

Ginny didn’t answer, simply sipping again, staring into the light brown liquid.

Liz took a deep breath and let it out again. “I knew I should have kept calling. Molly told me I needed to keep an eye on you.”

Ginny looked up sharply. “Molly told you what?”

Liz pulled a small travel mug out of her purse. “She was worried about you and Keith.” She stared at Ginny pointedly. “Should she have been?”

Ginny folded her fingers around the mug and nodded slowly. “Yes. Or about Keith anyhow.” She looked back into the mug. “He kissed me the other night when we went for a walk after dinner.”

Liz flopped back against the back of the chair. “That jerk! Are you serious! Didn’t he understand you are a married woman?” She slapped her hand against her leg, leaning forward again. “Of course, he understood. He just didn’t care. I knew there was something off about him and that dimple of his.” She made a face. “So charming and dashing. No. He’s neither of those things. He’s manipulative and devious.”

Ginny set the mug on her desk between a stack of papers with information for the fundraiser and a pile of damaged children’s books she either needed to replace or repair.

“I let him kiss me, Liz.”

Liz cleared her throat and shifted in her chair, running her fingertip along the top of her mug as if trying to decide how to respond.

“And —um — did you enjoy it?”

Ginny pushed a hand back through her hair and held it there, at the top of her head, clutching, for a few minutes as she spoke. “At first, yes. I forgot where I was, and it felt good to be touched in a romantic way again. Luckily, though, I came to my senses and pulled away.” She let her hair go and clutched her hands together in her lap. “I was horrified at myself. I never thought I’d become someone who could forget who they were, be swept up in a moment like that.”

“Why not?” Liz leaned forward. “You’re a woman, aren’t you? A human being who needs human interaction, to feel wanted. It doesn’t make it right, but your feelings are natural and real, Ginny.”

Ginny’s eyes stung with tears, and she closed her eyes. “Natural maybe, but acting on our feelings can often get us in trouble.”

Liz breathed out a small laugh. “Yeah, as I know.” Ginny felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Liz watching her with a deeply furrowed brow. . “Does Stan know?”

Ginny shook her head slowly. “No. I haven’t told him yet.”

“But you feel like you need to?”

Ginny’s answer was a slow nod as she cried against her hand. She tried to speak, but her voice choked with emotion.

Liz kneeled next to her, sliding her arms around her. “It’s going to be okay, Ginny. Keith kissed you. You didn’t pursue it. Stan will understand.”

Ginny swallowed hard and tried to speak again. A sob came out of her, and she took a deep breath. “Part of me worries that even if he understands he won’t even care anymore. He hasn’t cared for so long, maybe he won’t even care if another man kissed me.”

“Oh, Ginny. I don’t think that’s true. I’m sure Stan loves you. He’s just lost sight of what’s really important.”

Ginny accepted the tissue she handed her and though she nodded she couldn’t help thinking, But what if I’m not what’s really important to him anymore?

***

Paperwork, check.

Briefcase, check.

List of clients he needed to call today, check.

Stan started his car, but paused, looking at the house, thinking back on his morning with Ginny. She’d been quiet, barely looking at him all morning. Was she angry at him? For what? He really didn’t have time to figure it out. Matt had called him last night to tell him who owned the property where the drugs had been found. Someone named Richard Lantz. Neither of them recognized the name. It wouldn’t matter until the police released the site anyhow. He hoped the commercial buyers were still interested in the site. If he could track this Lantz down, hopefully, he would agree to sell.

His phone rang as he shifted his car into reverse. He tapped the speaker button on the dashboard.

“Clint. How’s it going?”

“Dad, is that really you?” Clint’s laugh was warm and teasing. “I didn’t know if you were still alive. I’ve been kicked to voicemail for weeks.”

Stan’s jaw tightened. Great. Another family member calling to tell him he worked too much.

“Yeah. I’m alive. What’s up?”

Clint cleared his throat. He must have sensed the annoyance Stan was trying to hide in his voice. “I’ve been trying to reach Mom and she’s been going to voicemail too. Anyhow, I just wanted to let you guys know that Tiff and the kids are flying out Friday. Frank and Marge are going to pick them up at the airport. I’m going to be driving the U-haul and the moving company has the other U-Haul. Just thought I’d update you.”

“Great, son.” A kid on a bicycle darted out into the street and Stan slammed the brakes on. His travel mug of coffee flew from the cup holder to the floor. “That’s great. We’re looking forward to seeing you.”

And he was looking forward to seeing his son and daughter-in-law and grandchildren again and on a more regular basis. He didn’t know if he’d have as much time with them as he would like, at least at first, but he’d find the time. Somehow.

He chatted with Clint for the rest of the drive to the coffee shop to pick up the muffins he’d promised his secretary and partner he’d bring. The sun was bright when he pulled into the parking space in front of the shop but he knew it was misleading. A chill nipped at his nose as he climbed out and shut his car door. He reached out and held the door open for a woman wearing a colorful knit cap, a bright red scarf wrapped up across the lower part of her face, and a knee-length, fluffy gray winter coat. He didn’t think it was that cold just yet but to each their own.

“Stan?”

He paused from walking in, still holding the door open. “Yes?”

She pulled the scarf down. “It’s me. Janine from church.”

“Oh, yes. Good morning, Janine. Sorry I didn’t recognize you with the scarf.”

She laughed. “Yes, it’s a little early for the scarf but I have a skin condition that gets flared up in the cold air.”

Stan felt a pang of guilt for having judged her before. “You do what you have to do. I hope it feels better soon.” He also felt guilty he couldn’t remember her last name. She’d been attending their church for a couple of years now. He needed to be more observant.

“You know, maybe I shouldn’t ask this, but have you and Ginny split?”

What an odd question. Stan’s brow furrowed in confusion. “No. Why would you ask?”

“Oh.” Janine pressed her lips into a thin line. “Um. . .nothing.”

A strange buzz slid up Stan’s arms. “Did someone say we had?”

Janine shook her head. “Oh no. No. Not at all.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Forget I even asked. I just wanted to be sure I didn’t stick my foot in it later if I was around either of you and now . . . Well, I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth.” She tipped her head back and laughed.

Stan persisted. What did this woman know that he didn’t? “There must be a reason you asked though.”

Janine’s cheeks had turned a bright red and Stan had a feeling it wasn’t from the skin condition. “I — it’s just — I thought I saw Ginny kissing some other man along the river walk in Clarkston the other night. I have to get new glasses, though. It must have been you and I was just too far away.” She laughed again, a nervous twitter more than a laugh, fiddling with her scarf, which she quickly yanked up over her face again. “Good thing I didn’t say anything to anyone else. That’s how rumors get started, right? Anyhow, have a good day, Stan!”

She rushed off, leaving him standing with the door still open, his mouth slightly open, his brow crinkled together as his mind raced.

Ginny? Kissing another man?

Janine must have been mistaken. Maybe it was someone else instead of Ginny. She’d had her haircut recently. Maybe the other woman had longer hair and Janine didn’t know Ginny had had her haircut. Of course, Janine had seen Ginny in church since the hair cut so . . .

“Stan! You comin’ in? You’re letting all the cold air in.”

The voice of the coffee shop’s owner cut through his musings. Stan looked at him but didn’t register what he was saying. “Hmm? Oh. Right. Yeah. Sorry about that.”

He stepped out onto the sidewalk and closed the door, staring at his car. What was he doing again?

Oh, right. Going to work. He needed to get to work.

He climbed back in the car and sat for a few seconds behind the steering wheel. Surely Janine had been wrong.

He turned the key in the ignition and sat for a few seconds longer. Maybe —.

He took a deep breath, shook his head as if to clear it, and shifted the car into park.

“I thought I saw Ginny kissing some other man.” Janine’s words played over and over in his head as he pulled the car onto the street and took a right, driving past his office and heading back toward his house.

***

Stan looked at his watch again.

Where was she?

She usually took a lunch break at this time. Well, if she hadn’t taken lunch with her that day. Had she packed lunch that morning? He couldn’t remember. He’d been on the phone with Patrick Stanton about selling his farm and right after that, he’d walked upstairs to load the rest of his paperwork into his briefcase. When he’d come back down, Ginny had been gone.

Gone. Without saying goodbye like she usually did.

She had acted like someone with a guilty conscience but he hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t noticed because he hadn’t known that he should be noticing how she was acting.

Apparently, Olivia was right. He hadn’t been paying enough attention to Ginny lately. If he had, then he would have known she obviously wasn’t happy with him and was finding her happiness somewhere else. Like in Keith Stafford’s arms.

He paced the living room, running his hand across his chin and jawline, barely hearing the chirping of birds outside the window. His gaze fell on the picture of him and Ginny on their wedding day. He snatched it up, looked into eyes young and innocent. He’d had more hair then, that was for sure. A trimmer waist too. Stronger jawline, less wrinkles.

His older image reflected in the glass of the picture, lines along the corners of his eyes, a pinched mouth that hadn’t smiled in ages, and was his forehead higher too? No wonder Ginny was looking elsewhere for affection. She probably wasn’t even attracted to him any longer and looking at his reflection, at the bags under his eyes, he couldn’t say he blamed her.

He sat on the couch, the picture in his hand, images of that day playing in his mind like a movie. The white roses in her bouquet, the way she watched him as she walked down the aisle, his racing heart that he thought might burst from his chest. He could still smell the lilies in the arrangements at the front of the church and the honeysuckle when they’d walked out into the sunlight into a rain of rice from their friends and family.

Her dad hadn’t been a fan of him when they were in high school together, but his opinion seemed to change some after college when he saw Stan had a clear direction for his life. On their wedding day, her dad and shaken Stan’s hand at the front of the church before the ceremony, pulled him in close and whispered, “I brought her this far. Now it’s your turn. Don’t let me down.”

Had he let her father down? He didn’t think so. All these years he’d earned a living to support her and the children, he’d loved her the best way he knew how.

Maybe he wasn’t the man he used to be, physically or emotionally but that didn’t give Ginny the right to throw away their marriage, run around behind his back with her ex-boyfriend.

He laid the picture down on its face and started pacing again. As he lifted his arm to look at his watch the front door opened, bringing a stream of sunlight with it. Ginny’s head was down, focused on pulling the key from the lock. When she looked up a soft scream came from her and she jumped back.

“Oh my goodness! Stan! What are you doing here? You scared the living daylights out of me!”

Stan placed his hands at his waist, jaw tight. “what do you mean what am I doing here? I live here, don’t I?”

For now, he did anyhow. Maybe he wouldn’t much longer. Maybe Ginny was planning to kick him out and move Keith in.

Ginny seemed taken aback by his tone. She nodded slightly as she set her purse on the floor by the door. “Yes, of course, you live here. You’re just usually at work at this time.”

“Well, I came home, okay?”

She visibly tensed, pulling her shoulders back and walking toward the kitchen, avoiding eye contact. He watched her, seething inside at how nonchalant she seemed about it all. She’d been lying to him, sneaking around with Keith, but acting like nothing was going on. He thought he knew her. Apparently, he didn’t or he would have known she could be so cold-hearted. What had happened to her anyhow?

He followed her into the kitchen, ready to burst with anger. He tried to keep his tone even as he spoke, though. “So, did you have a good time with Keith the other night?”

She paused in front of the open refrigerator for a brief second before resuming retrieving the deli turkey and a jar of Miracle Whip.

“Yes, I did.” She kept her back to him. “Why do you ask?”

He huffed out a small laugh. She was something else. Really? She was going to act like nothing had happened.

“It’s just that I ran into Janine from church this morning.”

“Janine Taylor?”

Taylor. That was her last name. Right. “Yeah, Janine Taylor.”

Ginny spread Miracle Whip on the bread, keeping her back to him. “And how is Janine?”

“She thinks we split, that’s how Janine is.”

“Oh?”

The innocent lilt in her voice sent him over the edge. He dragged a hand through his hair. “She saw you, Ginny.”

Ginny turned slowly, the butter knife still in her hand. Light pink had spread across the skin exposed at the top of her shirt and was spreading up toward her face. “Saw me what?” She swallowed hard.

“You can knock off the innocent act, Gin.” He heard his voice raising but couldn’t seem to lower it, keep it under control. “I know you were kissing Keith along the river.”

She opened her mouth to speak, but he didn’t let her. “How long has this been going on? Weeks? Months? When were you going to tell me our marriage is over?”

Ginny’s eyes glistened with tears, which is exactly what cheaters did when they were caught, Stan thought, fury clouding his mind and judgment.

“It’s not like that at all, Stan.”

“Isn’t it? Then what is it like?”

“He kissed me. I didn’t want that kiss.”

Stan slapped a hand against his leg. “Oh, yeah. Sure you didn’t.” He held his hands up in front of him, palms out. “I don’t even want to hear it. I would have never done anything like that to you. I can’t even believe this.”

A tear slipped down Ginny’s cheek. “Haven’t you though?”

Stan thought his heart was going to explode through his throat the way it was pounding. “Excuse me?”

Ginny took a deep breath, swiped at the tear. “Nothing was happening between Keith and me but haven’t you been cheating on me for years with your job?”

He lost the control he’d been hanging onto by a thread and slammed the palm of his hand on the counter. “How dare you suggest that my working to support this family is anywhere close to you running around behind my back with your ex-boyfriend.”

Ginny stepped back against the counter, clutched at it as if for support. “I was not running behind your back. You were supposed to be there Thursday night, where were you?”

“So you’re saying because I missed some dinner with you that you decided to kiss Keith?”

“Missed some dinner? You’ve missed probably a hundred dinners over the last couple of years. I barely see you.”

“More excuses? Really? I can’t even believe this.”

She stepped forward, tears in her eyes, but anger in her voice. “I didn’t kiss Keith, Stan. He kissed me. I didn’t want him to kiss me. I told him that.”

Keith stepped back, threw up his hands. “I don’t even want to hear this.”

“Hear what?” She snapped out the words sharply. “Hear that it isn’t Keith I wanted a passionate kiss from? That —”

“Oh so it was a passionate kiss, was it?”

“You’re not listening Stan!”

“I can hear you perfectly fine. You had a passionate kiss with your ex-boyfriend along the river the other night.”

“I didn’t want a passionate kiss from Keith! I wanted one from you! I’ve wanted one from you for months! You don’t even know I’m alive anymore.”

Stan shook his head, his hands up near his head. “I can’t listen to this right now. I can’t do this.”

He snatched his keys off the island and pivoted on his heel toward the back door. “I’m going for a drive.”

“Fine. Walk away like you always do.”

The parting words from his wife sent even more anger rumbling through him. He swung around and faced her. “Stop talking, Ginny! Just stop! I’ve heard enough today. I’m going for a drive and then I’m coming back and packing a bag.”

“Where are you going to go?”

“I’ll get a room at that inn. Blueberry Inn or whatever it is called. I just can’t be here right now.”

The door rattled when he slammed it behind him and he heard the sobbing, but it only made him angrier. How dare she think she had the right to sob like she was the victim when she was the one who had betrayed him, throwing all they had away for  — for what? A passionate moment to get back at him for what she thought he’d done wrong? He hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d gone to work day after day to make sure she was fed, that Olivia could keep going to college, that they didn’t lose all they had built over their 35 years of marriage.

He slammed the car door closed and started the car, slamming his hand against the steering wheel and wincing. He didn’t even know where he was going. He couldn’t go to work. Not in the state he was in. All he knew was he couldn’t stay here. Not with the woman who’d treated their marriage like it was optional, like loving him was optional.

How had he not noticed how bad things had gotten? How had he not noticed that his wife no longer loved him?

Fiction Friday: A New Chapter Chapter 21 Part 2

We are getting closer to the end of this story and I just wanted to let regular readers know that the book will not be called A New Chapter when I am done with it and publish it in book form. Last week it struck me that I already have A New Beginning and now I was going to call this book A New Chapter. It seemed a bit lazy on the naming side so I have changed A New Chapter to Beauty From Ashes and at this point it is scheduled to be released in full on April 26. I haven’t decided if I will keep the book in Kindle Unlimited or not yet.

For those who are new here, I share a chapter of a novel in progress on Fridays for Fiction Friday but sometimes I also share a part on a Thursday or Saturday. The version I share here often changes before I push publish on the final book down the line.

If you want to read the other chapters click HERE and if you want to read the other books click HERE.

Chapter 21 Part 2

“Ooh, boy, Bella. That’s a stinky one.”

Liz sat back on her feet and made a face. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

She reached for the wipes and the new diaper while Bella kicked her feet on the blanket she was lying on on the floor.

She should call Matt after she was done. It had been a week since she’d witnessed him arrest Gabe and she hadn’t heard a word from him. She’d been wondering why she hadn’t been hearing his voice on the scanner at night and should have asked, but then she’d have to admit she listened to hear his voice on the scanner.

Awkward.

Instead of calling Matt last night, like she’d considered doing, she’d tried to call Ginny and make sure she wasn’t somewhere alone with Keith. Molly’s suggestion that hanging out with Keith could be a temptation for her had alarmed her. Ginny hadn’t picked up the phone, though, and she’d been about to drive to her house when Molly had walked in after milking at the barn.

Calling Matt would have been awkward though What was she going to say? “Hey, how’s it going since you kicked the crud out of my ex in front of half the town the other day?”

Molly took her coat off and hung it on the hanger next to the door. “Have you talked to Matt recently?”

Liz hooked Bella’s diaper and looked up. “No, I haven’t tried him yet. Why?”

Molly slid her shoes off, sniffed them and then placed them outside the door. “He might need a friend right now.”

“Yeah, why? And thanks for putting the shoes out there this time. This apartment stinks enough with all the diapers. We don’t need to smell like manure too.”

Molly’s eyes widened. “Why? Why would he need a friend? You were there, you saw why he would need a friend. Did that really look like normal Matt McGee behavior to you?” She turned and walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge. “Not only that, but Alex just told me he got suspended from the police force.”

Liz straightened and sat back on her heels. “Are you kidding me? Reggie suspended him?”

“He had no choice. The council made him because of the charges Gabe filed against him and the threat of a lawsuit.”

Liz’s chest tightened and her throat thickened with emotion. This wasn’t fair. Matt was a good cop. What was this going to do for his acceptance to the academy?

“You okay?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I will be.”

“It’s not your fault, Liz. Matt made his own choice. It’s exactly what he told Alex.”

The old familiar tingling spread from Liz’s hands up her arms as she stood and sat on the couch. Yes, Matt had made a choice, but it was her choices that had landed him in the position to make that choice.

Molly sat next to her and slid an arm around her. “It’s all going to work out, okay? Listen, I wasn’t really supposed to say anything to you. Matt didn’t want you to know, but since I already knew you were there, I just figured you would want to know what happened.”

Liz leaned against her friend. “I did want to know. I just wish I didn’t know. You know?”

The women laughed and Molly leaned back to look at Liz. “Yeah. I know.”

They laughed again and then Liz leaned out of the embrace. “Don’t you need to get ready for your sleepover?”

Molly and her grandmother had a sleepover once a month and usually Liz was invited, but this month she’d opted to stay home and let the ladies have some together time without their third wheel.

Molly sighed. “I do, but I hate to leave you alone after I just dropped that on you.”

Liz shrugged a shoulder. “The only thing you could do is stop me from eating the entire pint of chocolate Haagendas in the freezer.” She winked. “But really, you couldn’t even do that, so go on. Have fun at Grandma Fran’s and tell her I’ll be back next month.”

Molly stood and stretched. “She’ll be happy about that. She says you make better hot chocolate than me. Plus she wants to see Bella again. You’ll have to bring her by before then.”

Liz folded one of Bella’s blankets and laid it on the back of the couch. “I will. What’s on the agenda tonight?”

Molly wiggled her body in a type of dance. “Spa night. Facial masks, manicures, pedicures, and I’m giving her a massage.”

Liz laughed at the picture of 76-year old Frannie wearing a facemask.

Molly left after a shower and change and Liz headed for the freezer, her phone in her hand. She would call Matt and check on him, but first — ice cream.

She was swallowing the first bite when her phone buzzed.

Matt: Hey, you home?

Good grief. It was like he could read her mind.

Liz: Where else would I be? I don’t have a life you know. *wink emoji*

Matt: Be over in ten?

Huh. Not even a joke back. This couldn’t be good.

Liz: Sure. I’ll be here.

She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the window on her way to the couch and winced. She should at least comb her hair, or put it in a bun, or something. She looked down at the baggy sweatpants she’d stolen from Molly and the stained Needtobreathe T-shirt. And change her clothes. Yeah. She should change her clothes. Sure, Matt was a friend, but she could at least look half way decent for him.

How should one dress when their friend was about to tell them they’d slammed their ex-boyfriend’s head off some concrete? She decided on casual, but not too casual, slipping on a white tank top, covered with a beige sweater and a pair of blue yoga pants. She was yanking a brush through her hair when the knock on the door came. Apparently her ten minutes was much different than his ten minutes because for her it had only been about six.

She’d needed that extra four to finish brushing.

She pushed her fingers through her hair instead and attempted to fluff it, as much as straight hair would fluff. Since it was shorter now, it didn’t look as crazy with just a quick brush as it had when it fell down her back, but still.

That whole saying about absence making the heart grow founder seemed to hold water when she opened the door and saw him standing on the landing, hands deep in his front pockets, looking out over the town. A cold breeze ruffled his hair and his normally smooth jawline was speckled with a few days growth, which gave him an entirely more rugged look. That rugged look sent her heart thudding fast against her ribcage and her bottom lip between her teeth as she took in the rest of him — his dark blue jeans, tan cardigan hugging his newly fit torso.

He turned his head toward her, and she ceased her pursual, hoping red wasn’t spreading across her skin as fast as the warm flush of appreciation was spreading under it.

“Hey.”

The husky tone of his voice tipped her stomach upside down.

Just friends, Liz. You two are just friends. That is all. Stop staring at your gorgeous friend and let him in your apartment.

“Hey. You want to get out of the cold?”

Of course, he wants to get out of the cold, idiot. Just step out of the way and let him in.

She stepped back and opened the door fully. “Come in.”

He stepped past her, and she drew in a sharp breath. Wow. He smelled amazing. She needed to focus. He wasn’t here for a pleasure call.

He stepped into the kitchen area and turned to face her, hands still in his pockets, cheekbones flushed soft pink from the cold. “Sorry I haven’t called. You been okay?”

He was apologizing? She hadn’t spoke to him barely at all since the day in the parking lot at the art class and he was apologizing.

He really was something else and that something else was wonderful.

“Yeah, I’ve been good.”

“Bella?”

“She’s great. Just taking a nap on the blanket right now.”

“Good. Good.”

He nodded as he spoke, then looked at the tip of his boot.

She knew she should put him out of his misery but wasn’t sure how. Should she tell him she knew about what happened with Gabe? Should she admit she’d been upset because she found out he’d been in her apartment the night of her overdose? Debating it in her head wasn’t going to help move either of them forward in their lives so she’d better pull one trigger or the other.

“Listen —”

They spoke at the same time, then laughed together.

“Sorry.”

In unison again. Really? Liz laughed softly, tugging gently on her earlobe. This was getting weird.

“Listen.” He spoke first this time. “I’m sure you’ve heard by now what happened the other night at Mooney’s.” He rubbed his hand along the back of his neck then held it there, pulling down. “I just wanted to apologize for my behavior and if I made anything worse for you. I should have controlled my anger. I didn’t and I’m sorry.”

He peered at her with what she could only describe as puppy dog eyes. His sincere contrition made her want to slide her arms around his neck and comfort him, tell him she wasn’t mad, not in the least, but there was still a part of her that was upset at him for this and for not telling her he was at her apartment that night

She bit her lower lip for a few seconds before speaking. “I know. I was there that day.” Matt winced and looked back down toward the floor as she continued. “I’m guessing that hadn’t gotten around yet.”

He shook his head. “No. Not yet. And if Alex knew he didn’t tell me.”

“Yeah. He knew. He was sworn to secrecy until I could figure out how to tell you.”

Matt looked back up at her again and his green eyes locked on hers. “I guess we both had secrets we didn’t want to talk about.”

A chill shivered through her and not just from the cold blast that had come in when he’d stepped inside. That statement held a meaning beyond what had happened at Mooney’s. She knew it, but did he?

“I wasn’t honest with you about the night you overdosed, Liz.”

Her breath caught. She hadn’t expected a confession, yet she should have. It was Matt she was talking to. Of course, he was going to be open with her. Time for her to be honest too.

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Ginny accidentally told me.”

“How did Ginny — Oh right. Stan. I asked the guys at church for prayer for you. He didn’t know the full story, but I’m guessing he put two and two together.”

A faint smile pulled at Liz’s mouth. “Yeah, he’s a horrible husband but he’s still got some brains left up there.” She played with the necklace around her neck. “I lied to you too. More than once, which, of course, you know.” The sting of the tears surprised her, and she swallowed to try to keep them at bay. “I’m sorry, Matt. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you.” She looked toward the living room, struggling to make eye contact. “You’ve been a good friend and I haven’t.”

He leaned back against the kitchen counter, bending his hands over the edges. “We both screwed up by not being open with each other.” He pushed himself off, stepped toward her. “I don’t want to do that anymore. Be dishonest with you.”

Her breath quickened at the heat coming off him. He needed to step back. She was having trouble thinking clearly and this time she knew it wasn’t alcohol causing issues.

“I don’t want to keep holding my feelings back or keep them hidden.” He took another step and now he was definitely too close. She started to step back but he placed a hand at the small of her back, stopping her and pulling her gently toward him. He slid the other hand on the back of her neck, leaning his head close to hers.

“And I don’t want to be just friends anymore.”

The words sent her heart slamming inside her ribcage, forcing her to take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds. She glanced at his mouth, then moved her gaze back to his eyes. She’d imagined him kissing her a few hundred times over the last few years, but now that he was this close, she was suddenly terrified. What if changed their friendship and not for the better?

 “You know, seeing you do that to Gabe? It showed a whole different side to you.” She was stalling, she knew it.

He laughed softly, his breath tickling her cheek. “Yeah. Not a good one.”

“It showed me you’re not as perfect as everyone — as I — thought you were. It showed me you have a lot more passion in you than you let on.”

He moved his hand from the back of her neck to the back of her head, sinking his fingers into her hair. “Liz, you and are I a lot similar than you think. You’re not who people think you are, and neither am I.”

His gaze dropped to her mouth, and she smiled. “Is this confession time? Are you going to tell me you’re actually a bad guy, secretly running an underground drug ring?”

Matt laughed softly. “Yeah. Right. That’s me. A secret drug lord.” He grinned. “No. What I mean is, I’m not perfect.”

“You’re not?”

“No.”

“What do you do that makes you not perfect, McGee?”

A playful grin turned his mouth upward. “I rip those tags off pillows that say ‘do not remove’. One time I left my cart in the middle of the parking lot. I actually like pineapple on pizza.”

He pressed his hand more firmly against the small of her back and pulled her against him. “And I think about kissing you way more than I should.”

Her gaze dropped to his mouth, her voice fading to a whisper as she pressed her hands against his chest. “You can’t think of kissing me.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re just friends. Remember?”

“Then let me give you a friendly kiss.”

She closed her eyes as his lips brushed against her forehead, her cheek, and then found her mouth, capturing her upper lip.

Heat shot through her as he slipped his mouth to her lower lip next. She moved her hands to his face and leaned into the kiss as he found her whole mouth, savoring the feel of him.

If this was what it felt like to kiss a friend, then she wanted him to be her friend for the rest of her life.

He smiled as he pulled his mouth away several seconds later. “That went better than I thought it was going to.”

“Kissing me?”

He shrugged a shoulder. “That and talking to you about all the things I should have talked to you about already.”

“Did you plan to kiss me?”

“Not necessarily, but I thought it would be nice if it finally happened since I’ve been thinking about it so long. I needed to take the chance and let the chips fall where they may.”

She smiled and slid her arms behind his neck as his arms slid behind her back.

Her hand moved automatically to the back of his head, up into his hair, like she’d imagined doing many times before. She finally felt comfortable enough to mess up that perfect Officer McGee hair. She smirked. “Does this mean we’re more than friends now?”

The huskiness of his tone slid over her senses like a warm blanket on a cold winter night, transforming her smirk into a smile. “I certainly hope so.”

He kissed her again, as soft and sweet as before, no urgency, just a  comforting sense of leisure. She slid her hands down the back of his head, resting them on the back of his neck to hold him close, almost afraid he’d pull away and disappear and this would all be a dream.

A few minutes later, a small cry from the living room interrupted them and Liz pulled her mouth from his, her eyes on the living room. She slipped from his arms, and he followed her as she walked toward the blanket in the center of the floor. They found Bella looking up at them with a firm pout in place and fresh tears on her cheeks.

He stooped down before she could and lifted Bella into his arms. “Hey, little girl, jealous of all the attention your mom is getting tonight?” He winked at Liz. “Can’t be helped.”

He sat on the couch with the baby cradled in his arms, her small form practically dwarfed against his much larger arms.

Liz couldn’t believe how natural it all seemed, him with a baby, relaxed, smiling. It stopped her in her tracks, left her holding her breath without even realizing it.

She finally let herself breathe again and walked to the kitchen, lifting a bag of breast milk from the freezer and setting it to warm in a bowl of warm water. “Maybe I shouldn’t ask this,” she said as she returned a few minutes later with a bottle. She braced herself mentally, sitting next to him and handing him the bottle. “What happened with the academy?”

He took the bottle and kept his eyes on Bella. “They rescinded my application because of the charges filed against me.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Guess God has different plans for me.”

Liz’s chest felt tight, and she rubbed the top of it under her throat. Her voice fell to a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

He looked up at her. “It will work out. No big deal.”

“It is a big deal. This was your dream and it’s my fault you’re not going to be able to realize it.”

Matt kept his eyes on hers. “Not everything is your fault Liz, and this definitely isn’t. I made the choice to react the way I did to Gabe. It was my decision to slam him against my patrol car, not yours. Actions have consequences and losing that spot at the academy was mine.”

Liz dropped her gaze, watching Bella drink from the bottle. “Liz, I want you to listen to me.” She nodded but kept her eyes on Bella. “Look at me.” She lifted her eyes and once again, the green of his eyes startled her, pulled her in. “This is not your fault. I’m serious. We all make poor decisions at some point in our lives. What happened with Gabe? It was a poor decision. That’s all. That night in your apartment? The same thing. Those mistakes do not define you, though. You get that right? You are what God says you are, and He says you are his child, mistakes and all.”

It was a message Liz had resisted over and over. That God loved her, no matter her poor choices and that she could learn from those poor choices and make better ones in the future. She’d usually roll her eyes and move away or make a joke or change the subject, but something about the way Matt said it, the way she could tell he meant it, truly believed it, and wanted to her to believe it too, broke her.

She didn’t stop the tears this time, didn’t look away from him when they came. She nodded as they flowed, trying her best not to ugly cry as she let the words sink in.

“Thank you.” She finally managed the words, leaning forward and brushing her lips against his cheek. “You know it too, right?”

He looked at her with a questioning rise in his eyebrows.

“That your bad decision to react the way you did to Gabe does not define you.”

He smiled sheepishly, tilted his face down toward Bella again. “Touché, Miss Cranmer. Touché.”

She slid next to him, her feet under her, one arm across the back of the couch, watching him feed Bella, and wishing she’d let her walls down before, let herself believe she could be happy and that she deserved it. Like him holding Bella, this — her leaning into him — felt natural and right, like how her life should be and hopefully would be in the future.

Sunday Bookends: Ice, ice baby, finally finished that Longmire book, and earworms


Welcome to Sunday Bookends where I ramble about what I’ve been reading, doing, watching, writing, and listening to.



What’s Been Occurring

Cold. Cold. Cold. That’s what it has been in our neck of the woods for over a month now with this past week still being cold and then having an ice storm thrown into the mix.

Little Miss and I managed to make it 12 miles to get our hair cut before the ice storm set in on Thursday evening into Friday.

We woke up Friday morning with our trees, driveway, and many other things encased in ice. Unlike other ice storms where the ice melted during the day when the sun came out, there was no sun after this ice storm and the temps dropped even more over Friday night into Saturday, leaving us still encased in ice, with no sign of warmer temperatures for a couple of days. Saturday’s high was 16. Yikes.

The ice did make for some fun photographs, most of which I took with my iphone because my regular camera wasn’t happy with trying to capture close up photos. Mainly because I don’t own a micro lens and my nifty fifty was struggling to focus on the frozen drips of water.

The Boy was quite thrilled that he could run across the surface of the snow from our back porch and up the hill toward our garden shed late Friday evening when the temps had dropped around 14. Yesterday morning the temperature started at about 3 degrees and rose slightly while my husband chipped his car out of its parking space since none of us thought about the snow and ice freezing around the tires after he parked. He traveled to pick us up a grocery order about 45 minutes away, because that’s how far away we are from anywhere that offers grocery pick-up.

Before he did that, he started the fire in the woodstove and while he was out in the cold forging for food, I was in the warm house reading books and occasionally breaking up arguments about who would have the privilege of holding the Elsa doll and playing her for the “movie” Little Miss and her friends were creating during an impromptu playdate. They didn’t have a camera, so it wasn’t really a movie. It was more like a play.

Either way, I let them know that none of them should want to be Elsa because she was the real bad guy in the first movie anyhow. I mean, think about it, the woman froze an entire village in, causing a near economic collapse of the region. The village, serving as a commerce port, most likely supplied fish and fresh food to many other villages in a 50-mile radius so when Elsa had her little hissy fit, she threatened not only the livelihoods of the people in the village but also the lives of the people who relied on the village for their food.

“It wasn’t her fault!” little voices cried, horrified that I would suggest Elsa was the bad guy in it all. “She couldn’t control her powers.”

I swiftly mocked them. “It wasn’t her fault. Wawawa! It was. Get over it. She was evil.”

They eventually decided I was picking on them (I was not) and moved on to my suggestion that they all pretend to be in a Barbie girl band so they all could sing together at the same time.

(If you are new to my blog, please realize I use sarcasm a lot. I didn’t actually mock young children. I just joked with them. *wink*

Today promises more freezing temperatures and while I would prefer not to venture out, we will most likely go have lunch with my parents and maybe watch a movie before we come home like we did last week when we watched Song of the Thin Man, the last of the Thin Man movies with Myrna Lloyd and William Powell.

 After that, I have no plans to leave the house, but I am sure that at some point I will have to.

I know many of you who read my blog pray so I would ask that you say an extra prayer for me and The Boy. We lost our sense of taste and smell with Covid and while most of it came back from me, it has been much slower for The Boy. Now he and I both seem to be developing parosmia. This is where smell and taste is distorted and many things begin to smell and taste rotten. Please pray that this does not progress for us as it has for other Covid-19 survivors.

Right now peanut butter and garlic smell like a chemical to me and peanut butter tastes like one. My son is having the same issue with peanut butter, oddly. I’m trying to stay calm about it all and I do have some natural options we can try, so I ask that you pray for them to work. I’m especially worried about my son as he has already had stomach issues off and on over the years. From what I understand, this condition gets worse over time, not better for a while anyhow.

What I/We Are Reading

I did it. I finally finished The Dark Horse, the fifth book in the Longmire Mysteries series.  The series is great, and I love Craig Johnson’s writing, so the quality of the book wasn’t why it took me so long to finish it. I took so long because of being sick with Covid and then not being interested in dark stories while I was recovering for the month of December.

Up this week I hope to finish The Cat Who Saw Stars by Lilian Jackson Braun and continue The Reckoning Trees by Alicia Gilliam. I also started Miss Julia Renews Her Vows by Ann B. Ross to see what it is like and I’m hooked, so The Reckoning Trees might get bumped down. I’m not sure yet. I usually read a hard copy of one book during the day and the Kindle at night after I am in bed so I may read Miss Julia and The Reckoning Trees at the same time, after I finish The Cat Who book. Not that any of you care so I have no idea why I am sharing all that! Ha!

Little Miss and I have already read The Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder but we are set to read it again since it is part of our history/literature curriculum this week. I told her we didn’t need to read it again but she said she wanted to. It also reminded her how much she liked the Little House series so now she has asked me to read the second book in the series to her again. I’d prefer to keep reading The Mouse and the Motorcycle but if she likes Little House on the Prairie, we will read it again.

The Boy will probably finish A Long Walk to Water this week.

What We’ve Been Watching/Watched

I read more than I watched this week but I did watch, for some unknown reason, Runaway Bride, which I think is both sweet and awful at the same time. Richard Gere sort of irritates me. In every movie he just plays Richard Gere. Arrogant and cocky with a pout. But that’s just my opinion.

The Boy and I watched a couple of episodes of Longmire. Yes, I realize it’s like we have a theme going on in our house this week.

The husband and I watched the pilot episode of Fringe. I don’t know if I will watch more of that one. Science Fiction isn’t really my thing as much as it is for my husband


What I’m Writing

I have been working on getting to the end of A New Chapter’s first draft and hope to have it done by the end of this week. Every morning last week I wrote for 2-3 hours with a group of writers from Novel Academy. We participated in writing sprints that last about fifty minutes each.

I have not been writing as much on the blog, but hope to remedy that as soon as this first draft is finished. I will have to work on the second draft and editing, but that won’t be as time consuming as writing the first draft is.

What I’m Listening To

Ah man. This week I got an ear worm stuck in my head and couldn’t get it out.

Here it is for you, so you can also get it stuck in your head:

Then you can also listen to this other earworm by them:

The rest of the week I listened to a lot of Mumford and Sons and The Dead South while I worked on my book.

I sort of liked The Dead South’s version of You Are My Sunshine, a song my aunt used to sing to me and my son. If you actually listen to the song, it’s not a very happy one, so the happy version of the song is a little bit of a juxtapose I suppose you might say. A family member told me the band murdered the song with this version, but I thought the interpretation was creative.

 I also listened to quite a bit of Brandon Lake, especially this song:

Then I introduced my son to Vanilla Ice and he was horrified.


Now it’s your turn

So that is my week in review. How about you? What have you been doing, reading, watching, writing, or listening to? Let me know in the comments.

Special Fiction Saturday: A New Chapter Chapter 20

I thought I’d share an extra chapter this weekend as I am marching toward writing the final chapters during the week. I shared Chapter 19 yesterday.

To catch up with the story click HERE.

If you would like to read the first books in this series, you can find them HERE.

Chapter 20

Ginny looked at her watch for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. Where was he? He’d told her this morning he’d be here.

“Don’t stand me up this time, Stan.”

She did not want to have to tell Keith they’d have to reschedule because her husband was, yet again, too busy with work.

Oh great. There he was. Keith, parking his car in a space a few spots up from hers. She looked in the rearview mirror.

“Stan, come on.”

Maybe she could simply drive away and text Keith, telling him she’d have to cancel. That would work. It would be awkward, but no more awkward than having to admit her husband cared more about his job than his family, especially his wife.

She slid the key in the ignition, preparing to leave before Keith reached the sidewalk next to her car, but it was too late. Curse that man’s long legs. He spotted her and waved, sliding his sunglasses off and slipping them into the inside pocket of his leather jacket.

She forced a smile and waved back, opening the door to the car.

Keith reached out for her hand as she stepped up on the sidewalk and pulled her into a hug. “Hey, there. Where’s the ball and chain?”

Ginny breathed in the smell of his cologne, a pang of guilt stabbing at her for enjoying it, the manliness of it. She longed to have Stan hug her this way so she could breathe in his cologne while nuzzling his neck.

She pulled back from the hug and looked at her watch, frowning. “Running late, I guess. He should be here soon.”

Keith gestured toward the restaurant’s front door. “Shall we get a seat and wait for him? We can order drinks and an appetizer.”

Ginny chewed her bottom lip, hesitating. “Um. Yeah. Okay.”

She looked back over her shoulder as Keith opened the door for her, searching the street for Stan’s car.

Come on, Stan. Be here. Just this once. Please.

Inside the restaurant was warmly lit, tables set under lightbulbs casting off soft, orange glows.

“Two?” the hostess asked looking between Ginny and Keith.

“Three actually,” Keith answered. “The other member of our party is running late.”

When they sat, Ginny glanced at the empty chair and her jaw tightened.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as Keith placed his jacket on the back of his chair. How many times in the last two years had she attended events without Stan, making apologies, waiting for him to call and explain or make another excuse? Too many to count.

She was tired of it.

After hoping for a year to taste the food at this restaurant she was here, but not with the man she’d wanted to be with.

It didn’t matter. She was going to make the best of it and hopefully, he’d show up before the waitress took their orders for entrees.

Keith folded his hands on the table. “So, at the art class, you were telling me your daughter was trying to decide if she wanted to stay in California or not. What did she decide?”

Ginny pushed aside her thoughts of Stan and sighed. “I came home from the class and found her in my kitchen.”

Keith laughed. “Ah, I see. So she made up her mind to come home then?”

Ginny rolled her eyes. “Yes, and she’s dropped out of school. She has no idea what she’s going to do and it makes me want to scream.” She laughed. “I love her and I love having her closer to home but all that money and she’s not even going to get a degree. It’s infuriating.”

The waitress approached and Ginny ordered a glass of water with lemon, Keith an iced tea, and an appetizer of blini with caviar. Stan loved caviar. Ginny hoped he arrived in time to have some.

“You know,” Keith propped his hand under his chin. “It might be good for your daughter to take some time off. She may decide she wants to go back and get her degree later on or she may not, but either way, she’s finding out what makes her happy.” He winced. “Of course, that doesn’t replace all that money you and Stan shelled out. What was her degree going to be in?”

“Social work.” Ginny’s phone rang and she looked at the caller ID. “It’s Stan. I should take this.”

“Of course.” Keith nodded toward the phone. “Definitely take it.”

“Hey, hon’, listen, I don’t think I’m going to make it.”

She’d known what he was going to say before he said it, but hearing it didn’t make it any easier.

“Yeah.” She didn’t even try to hide the annoyance in her voice. “Okay.”

The waitress arrived with her water and Keith’s iced tea.

“Are you upset?” Oh, how perceptive of him. “Listen, I’m sorry, but the client was running late. He just got here and this is a possibly big sale.” No surprise he didn’t even wait for me to answer.  “The Henderson farm. They’re looking to make it into a commercial farm. It could mean jobs for the area.”

Ginny didn’t answer. She tapped her fingers on the table and scowled into her glass. She’d heard it all, this was no different.

“Gin, you still there?”

“Yep. I’m here.”

“Send Keith my apologies. I’ll find another date we can do this again. My treat.”

“That’s fine. I’ll tell him. See you later.”

Ginny slid her finger over the end button without even a goodbye. She was tired of faking cheerful goodbyes after he let her down. It was getting old.

Keith raised an eyebrow. “Not going to make it?”

Ginny shook her head, sipping her water.

“I’m guessing by your demeanor this isn’t a new thing?”

Looked like Keith was perceptive too.

“No,” she said. “Not at all.” She pushed her hand back through her hair, enjoying the feel of it soft against her skin. She’d used a new conditioner Liz had suggested, hoping Stan might finally notice her new haircut, or at least comment on it. She’d caught him starring at her one day, thinking he might have finally noticed, but then he’d told her he’d sold a property that had been on the market for three years and walked away.

“Well,” Keith spread his hands out. “We’re already here. The appetizer is on its way. We might as well have some dinner.”

Ginny felt insanely uncomfortable agreeing to have dinner with a man who wasn’t her husband, but Keith was right. They were already there, seated, with appetizers on the way and she was hungry. She was also antsy for a night out. Between the fundraiser, planning for Clint and Tiffany to come home, helping Liz with Bella and her new job. She was ready for a break. It wasn’t her fault if Stan couldn’t be bothered to show up. She was tired of waiting on him to live her life.

“Remember that night we climbed the water tower?” Keith asked the question ten minutes after they’d sampled the caviar and ordered their entrees.

Ginny looked up with furrowed eyebrows. “Oh, my goodness. I had forgotten about that.”

The dimple in the cheek popped up again as Keith smiled. “You were terrified and kept saying, ‘Keith, no. We shouldn’t be doing this. Won’t we get in trouble?’” He laughed. “You pressed your back against the tank, closed your eyes, and it took me five minutes to convince you to look out over the town.”

Ginny laughed. “Oh, I remember. I was so scared. I’m glad I finally opened my eyes, though. It was beautiful.”

“You should open your eyes more often.”

Her gaze met his, noticed the way the candle in the center of the table reflected in the light brown iris. She’d forgotten how hints of green blended into the brown. “What do you mean?”

Keith kept his eyes on her. “It’s just, I’m afraid you’ve forgotten how to live Ginny.”

She pulled her gaze from his, dropped it to her hands folded in her lap. She opened her mouth to speak but he continued. “Be honest with me. There’s been something missing your life, hasn’t there? That spark. The spark for life. Don’t you want to get that back again?”

She rubbed her fingers along the edge of the tablecloth. He was right. She did want to get that spark back again. How to do it was the question that had been poking at her for months now.

The server bringing the entrees was a welcome sight and a welcome interruption. She changed the subject to the food, to how long it had been since she’d eaten out a restaurant like this and he, thankfully, followed her lead and began to talk about his new love of cooking.

The server’s appearance came as they finished their entrees and he was describing how he had discovered how to cook the perfect pot roast.

“Desert for the lovely couple?” The server was a young man who looked like a seventh grader to Ginny. He’d been attentive the entire time, asking every ten minutes if they needed anything or if he could refill their drinks and each time she felt like asking him if his mother knew where he was.

She raised a hand in response to his question. “Oh, no. We’re not a —

“Sure.” Keith smiled at her and winked. “We’d love some dessert.”

“Keith, I —”

The dimple appeared again, his eyes sparkling. “Have some fun for once Ginny.” He ran his index finger down the desert list. “How about the Mont Blanc Chocolate Pavlova. That sounds good, right?”

His French accent when he pronounced the desert impressed her, she had to admit. She smiled and propped her chin in her hand. “Yeah, actually, it really does. Even though I have no idea what it is.”

Keith winked. “Then that is what we’re having.” He handed the list back to the server. “We’ll take two. One for each of part of this lovely couple.”

Ginny sipped from her water, the word couple lingering in her thoughts, apprehension sneaking along her senses.

***

Matt stretched his legs out and propped his feet on the coffee table. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, pinching his nose between his thumb and forefinger. Normally at this time he’d be pouring coffee into his thermos and grabbing a slice of toast on his way out the door to work.

There wasn’t a job to go to this morning, though, so all he could do was sit and think about the last 24-hours.

He’d expected it, of course, but the meeting with Reggie had still been uncomfortable.

“I can’t stand that I have to do this, Matt.” The man shook his head, leaned bag in his chair, and huffed out a breath, his gaze on the top of his desk. “You’re the best cop I’ve ever had in my 25 years on this force.” He shook his head, leaned forward with his hands folded in the shape of a triangle on top of the desk, and looked up at Matt. “What in the world happened, boy? Never in my wildest imagination did I think I’d be suspending you for excessive force.”

Answering Reggie had been even harder. How did he explain that what Gabe had said about Liz had incensed him, left him mentally black for several minutes, and when he came to his senses Gabe was already bleeding on the sidewalk?

In the end, he’d simply said, “I lost my cool. I was out of line. I’m really not sure what came over me.”

Reggie had scoffed, flopping back in this chair. “A woman came over you, that’s what. Women will be the death of us and our careers, I swear.” He winked. “Don’t tell my wife I said that, of course.” Reggie slid a sheet of paper across to him. “This is your written warning and suspension conditions. You’ll be reinstated by the council after a full investigation and pending the outcome of any criminal legal proceedings against you.”

After that had been the call from the State Police Academy

“Mr.  McGee we regret to inform you that due to a criminal complaint filed against you while on duty as an officer with the Spencer Police Department, we are going to have to rescind our acceptance of your application to join the state police academy.

The entire situation was surreal, yet he knew it was all entirely his fault. Those ten minutes with Gabe were still a blur. Looking back, he realized he must have had some kind of mental break. He’d heard the term blind with rage but never thought of it as a real occurrence until that moment. Then there was the saying “I saw red,” and he supposed he could say he had seen red, figuratively anyhow, when Gabe said he’d forced Liz into sleeping with him that night.

“Don’t tell Liz about this,” he’d told Jason and Alex when they’d met him outside the police station later that night.

“It’s a small town, dude, she’s going to find out,” Alex reminded him.

“Just – maybe she’ll be too worried about finding a new job or too busy with her classes to hear,” Matt said, dragging his hand through his hair. He really didn’t know, but he didn’t need to add more stress to Liz’s life.

Would she feel like it was her fault that he’d been suspended from his job and lost his place at the academy?

He hoped not.

Maybe she’d be angry instead. At this point, he had no idea. Liz was hard to read at times, especially recently. He wished they had more moments like they’d had at the bowling alley that one time or during movie nights when she laughed and joked with him, forgetting about her worries. She let her guard down during those moments and he wanted more of that, more moments of the real and unhindered Liz. The Liz he remembered from high school and before she hooked up with Gabe.

Those were the moments when he could see himself reaching over, laying his hand behind her head, clutching that beautiful dark hair, and kissing her mouth the way he’d imagined doing for years now.

Wouldn’t that shock her? Knowing he had thoughts like that. Thoughts of kissing her, thoughts beyond being a police officer or teaching young boys about how to live a good, righteous life. No, he didn’t think imagining kissing her was inappropriate, but he wondered if it would shatter her preconceived notion that he was some kind of saint.

Someday he’d have to tell her and find out if she was shocked that he wasn’t so perfect after all, but right now he had to figure out what he was going to tell her when she eventually found out he’d been suspended for slamming her ex-boyfriend off the hood of a patrol car.

He yawned and stretched. Doing nothing sure was exhausting. He hadn’t done nothing for years now. Even his days off were normally filled with activity. This time, though, he didn’t have the mental energy to keep himself busy. Plus, the idea of going into town or anywhere people could see him wasn’t appealing right now. If Liz was right and everyone thought so highly of him, they probably wouldn’t as word got around how he’d treated Gabe.

He clicked the TV off and stood, stretching again. A series of cracks sounded up his back and he reflected how that had gotten a little better since he’d started going to the gym with Jason and how he hadn’t been to the gym with Jason for a week. Lifting a few weights and a few rounds on the stationary bike might be just what he needed to lift his mood.

He turned toward his bedroom to change out of his t-shirt and sweatpants when a knock on the door stopped him. Alex was still at the farm and he had a key, so it couldn’t be him.

The sight of Bernie standing at his door sent a shiver of uneasiness sliding through him and he kept the door partially closed.

“Bern?” How did he even find his cabin? “What’s up?”

“Hey, Matt, sorry to bother you like this, and I hope you don’t mind I asked Evan Starks if he knew where you lived.” Matt had graduated with Evan. He’d have to remember to talk to Evan about handing his private information out to people he’d arrested. Bernie pushed his long strands of dirty blond hair back from his face and laughed softly. “I probably should have told him you’d arrested me once. He might not have been so forthcoming with the information.” He winked. “I’m not here about that, though. Really. Can I talk to you about something?”

Matt hesitated then opened the door wider. “Um, yeah.” It was too cold this morning for them to stand on the porch and have a conversation. “Come on in.”

Bernie looked around the inside of the cabin as he walked in. His gaze drifted upward to the high ceiling and second story. “Nice place. Didn’t this used to be just a cabin you and your dad used?”

Matt walked to the kitchen and reached for the coffee pot. “Yeah. I decided to remodel it a few years ago and turn it into a house. I was tired of living in an apartment over the hardware store.” He held the pot toward Bernie. “Coffee?”

Bernie nodded. “Yeah. That would be nice.”

Matt gestured toward the chair at the kitchen table. “Have a seat if you want. Sorry the place is a bit of a mess. I’ve got a new roommate and he’s not the cleanest guy around.”

Bernie laughed. “I hear you. Chrissy isn’t the best housekeeper and the kids trash our place pretty good. This is nothing compared to what it looks like there this morning.”

Matt set two mugs of coffee on the table and sat down, sliding the sugar bowl toward Bernie.

“Listen, Matt, I know this weird, but despite everything I trust you and I need to tell you about something that’s been going on.” Bernie sipped the coffee. “I’m in some trouble and before you ask, it’s not what you think. I did something for somebody, but I didn’t know I was doing something illegal, you know? When I found out, I panicked. I can’t go to the police about this, for obvious reasons. I mean, officially go to the police.”

Matt leaned forward, brow furrowed. His stomach clenched. Where was this going? “Hey, I understand. This is between you and me for now. Let’s figure out if we even have to go to anyone else.”

Bernie cleared his throat. “Okay, so I did this job for Gabe Martin. He wanted me to deliver a package for him. I knew it was wrong, but I needed the extra money. He told me if I didn’t do it, he’d find a way to pin something on me. He knew the police wouldn’t believe me. I couldn’t risk getting sent away again so I agreed.” Bernie stared into the mug. “I know it was stupid. I should have just told him to get lost, but, again, I needed the money. The mechanic business isn’t going great yet and we were running out of food.” He shook his head slowly. “So, I picked up the package and I delivered it for him about two hours away. I met some guy that just gave me the wrong vibes, you know? I didn’t ask any questions. Just took the package to him.” Bernie took another sip of coffee, winced. “The guy starts asking me if this is the good stuff. I’m thinking, the good what? I don’t know, right? Because I’m just delivering it for Gabe. I’m like, ‘yeah, I guess’ and the guy goes, ‘because I don’t want any of that fentanyl mixed crap you sent last time. It got one of my customers killed and I’m not messing with that again. If it’d got linked to me, I would have been sent up to state.’”

Bernie chewed his bottom lip for a few seconds and then looked at Matt. “I didn’t know, Matt. I didn’t know about the drugs, okay? I shouldn’t have done it. The cops are never going to believe me.” He pushed a hand back through his hair, clutched it at the top of his head, and drew in a breath. “Do you even believe me?”

Yeah, for some reason Matt did. Not only because he knew the real Gabe Martin but because if Bernie was guilty he wouldn’t have walked into the lion’s den this morning. Unless — he didn’t want to think it. Unless Bernie was trying to frame Gabe.

Gabe wasn’t a great guy, no doubt about it, but was he a drug dealer?

Matt studied Bernie for a few seconds then nodded slowly. “Yeah, I think I do. I mean, as far as I know, burglary is more your thing. I never really pegged you for messing with drugs.” He rubbed his hand across his chin. “Of course, as much as I dislike Gabe, I didn’t peg him for that either.”

Bernie nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t either, to be honest. I don’t know if this is his thing or if he’s just transporting like I was. The guy is a jerk, but a drug manufacturer and dealer.” He shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t see it either. All I know is he is the one who sent me the package.”

The state police hadn’t released a report about the discovery at the abandoned building. They didn’t want it in the newspapers until they knew more. Alerting the media might tip off the owners. Matt wondered if Bernie knew anything about it.

“Where did you meet Gabe for the package pick-up?”

“Outside some building about five miles out of town. Looked abandoned.”

“Did you go in?”

Bernie shook his head. “No. Gabe met me outside at his truck. About 1 a.m.”

“Anyone else around?”

“No, not that I know of. Place was dark. Creepy actually.”

Matt took a swig of the coffee, swished it in his mouth. “You tell anyone else about this? Even Chrissy?”

Bernie laughed. “No, and especially not Chrissy. She’d kill me.”

Matt leaned back in the chair, arm hanging off the back of it. “Good, keep it that way for now. Let me look into some things and I’ll get back to you.”

Bernie cupped his hands around the mug. “Is it true that you got suspended for decking Gabe?”

Matt grimaced. “Yeah. That’s around town huh?”

Bernie tipped his head down slightly. “Dude, it’s Spencer. Of course it’s around town. You think people aren’t going to talk about the town’s saint police officer kicking the crap out of a guy on Main Street?”

Matt ran his hand across his face and laughed. “Saint police officer. Sounds like how someone else described me. Yeah, it wasn’t my best moment. Not in the least.”

Bernie grinned. “I thought it was cool.” He lifted the mug and peered over it. “Showed me you’re not as uptight as I thought you were.”

And it showed you I might be the prime person to help you set up Gabe if that’s what you’re doing. Matt hated even having the thought and he hoped it wasn’t true. While hoping Bernie really had started a new chapter in his life, he also hoped he was right that Gabe hadn’t known what was in the package either. He didn’t like Gabe, that was for sure, but the last thing he wanted was for Bella’s biological father to be a drug dealer, for the sake of her and Liz, and for Gabe.