Sunday Chat: Merry Christmas, Christmas movies, and looks like we will have a white Christmas afterall

Welcome to my Sunday Chat where I ramble about what’s been going on in my world, what the rest of the family and I have been reading, watching, listening to, and what I’ve been writing.

As always, I’m joining up with Kimba at Caffeinated Reviewer, Deb at Readerbuzz, and Kathyrn at The Book Date.



I live in an area where we get a lot of snow during the winter – or at least enough to make the roads slippery. I have lived in this area my whole life but I am still not a fan of driving in snow. It makes me very nervous and when I am done doing it my entire body hurts from tensing all my muscles.

I avoid it whenever I can but twice this week, I ended up driving in potentially slippery conditions. On Wednesday I drove home in snow after taking my daughter to Kid’s Club, which is a weekly kid’s program at a church about 20 minutes from our house. Listening to an audiobook of Johnny Tremain helped keep me distracted from being worried we might careen off the road into an embankment, especially when the snow started to stick to the road about five miles from our house.

I recorded a quick video while I was driving slowly, and it was so funny because the audiobook didn’t stop playing as I recorded and when I played it back the woman’s sort of creepy voice was talking about the many deaths that happened during the Revolutionary War while the snow swirled in front of us. (If you push play be aware it is very loud!)

We made it home and I vowed not to do it again but on Friday my dad needed to go to an MRI and I needed to pick up groceries. We knew we were supposed to get snow but we weren’t sure how much, so we headed out anyhow. This was after I got my dad’s car stuck twice earlier in the day. I’m borrowing his car while our truck is broke down.

 I kept my hands tight around the steering wheel on the way to where we get groceries while we got stuck behind a long line of cars due to a very slow truck and a shiny sheen showed up on the road.

That’s when Dad decides to remind me not to get too close to the car in front of me because I don’t want to have to slam on the brakes and possibly skid across the road since the temp had dropped to 29 degrees. That’s always fun in winter by the way – watching the thermometer on your car drop below freezing and wonder if that’s going to be cold enough to freeze the road as well or if it was warm enough that the road  hasn’t had a chance to freeze yet. This is something those who don’t live in colder climates have to worry about.

So, on Friday, for 15 miles, I had to make sure I stayed back and stayed calm while Dad reminded me gently that I was too close to cars. He made me a bit nervous so I made him drive home and guess what – he pulled up too close to cars and didn’t slow down at all. Why that hypocrite. *wink* Honestly, he’s a pretty good driver but it was nice to harass him a bit by telling him he was too close to the cars in front of us.

Once we were home, though, I decided we won’t be leaving the house again until Christmas Eve when we will head to my parents for the evening and then head back again on Christmas Day.

The Husband does have to go to work today and Monday but then he is off for a week and we are looking forward to him having that time.

We did receive a few inches of snow on Friday and with today’s artic temps and still cold temps the next few days, it looks like we will have our white Christmas after all.

Our family has a lot to be grateful for this Christmas. The month of December has been a beast – beating my family down physically, emotionally, and sometimes even spiritually. Through it all it has been tough to be upbeat but as I write this I am grateful for miracles – for surgeries that won’t have to happen, for medical conditions caught quickly and didn’t cause more damage than they could have, and for healing that is slowly coming.

It isn’t always easy to be happy at Christmas and I just want anyone who isn’t celebrating this Christmas, for whatever reason, that it’s okay. You feel the way you feel and if you don’t feel cheerful, then you don’t. Christmas is something we can celebrate at any time of the year because of why we celebrate. I’m hoping many of us have better days to come.

I had planned to read all Christmas books leading up to Christmas and I did read a couple but didn’t fill all of my reads up with Christmas.

I finished The Hound of The Baskerville’s by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

I finished The Christmas Swap by Melody Carlson this past week. I did not enjoy it as much as A Quilt for Christmas and it honestly felt like a completely different writer.

 I then finished Johnny Tremain which Little Miss and I have been reading all school year for history (in between other lessons).

That brought my book total read for the year to 66 and as I told friends and family – that is too close to 666 in my head (not the number counting up…but you know what I mean) so I am reading Tooth and Claw by Craig Johnson to bring it to 67.

After Tooth and Claw I am diving back into Christy by Catherine Marshall and starting either Castles in the Air by Donald Westlake (which my husband recommended) or Little Men.

The Husband is reading The Midnight Library by Matt Haig and that will be his 115th book of the year.

The Boy is supposed to be finishing The Hound of the Baskerville’s this week.

Little Miss is reading Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets.

We have been cramming as many Christmas movies or Christmas-themed shows we can fit in before Christmas.

This past week we watched Miracle on 34th Street (my husband’s favorite), Elf, Home Alone, and White Christmas.

On my own I watched The Bishop’s Wife and The Chosen special The Messenger.

We still want to watch Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, A Christmas Story, and Santa Claus is Coming to Town. I also hope to watch past Christmas episodes of All Creatures Great and Small since I don’t have streaming that allows me to watch the latest season yet.

I am still finishing corrections on Gladwynn Grant Shakes the Family Tree, which you can now pre-order on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0DR6BG3ZR?

This week on the blog I shared:

A quick reminder for January plans for this blog and Erin with Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs. I’m going to copy what she has been posting on her blog because I am behind this week!


“Lisa from Boondock Ramblings and I are planning some Cozy Crafternoons on Zoom in January and February, to beat those winter blahs that happen late winter after Christmas. We are thinking we will have maybe two per month, so four in total. We will just all meet up on the date and time, and individually work on whatever we want – embroidery, coloring, knitting, crocheting, jewelry making, etc, while chatting or you could even have the sound off and just feel part of the group without the chatter, if you like it quiet. It is sort of open and flexible but also social. I will probably be stitching away – my friend has requested a small pillow with an embroidered possum on it, so I will be working on that in January for a while. Anyway, if you are interested in learning more send an email either to me at crackercrumblife@gmail.com or to Lisa at lisahoweler@gmail.com. That way we will also have your email for the zoom link! Our first scheduled crafternoon is January 11th at 1 pm EST.”

Now it’s your turn. What have you been doing, watching, reading, listening to or writing? Let me know in the comments or leave a blog post link if you also write a weekly update like this.

Fiction Friday: An interview with Sandra Ardoin



Today for Fiction Friday I am interviewing Sandra Ardoin who has a new book out. Renee is the seventh book in the Apron Strings Book Series, a multi-author series of which I am also a part.

Each book can be read as a standalone with the only connecting factor being an old-fashioned cookery (recipe) book called Mrs. Canfield’s Cookery Book. Each book takes place in a decade from 1920 to 2020.

Sandra’s book takes place in the 1980s.

First, a little about the book:

Renee Burnette, a widow living in the North Carolina mountains, has longed for two things she never had growing up—a permanent home and a lasting friendship like the one she has with Val from her cooking club. In the summer of 1986, the local apple growers sponsor a bake-off with a monetary prize that would bring Renee closer to her housing goal. But after Renee and Val each enter, their relationship goes from best friends to bitter rivals.

When Renee learns of the opportunity for a promotion at work, she’s determined to prove her qualifications to her handsome, single boss. The closer they draw to one another, though, the more Renee fears that an office romance will jeopardize her job and her housing dream.

As the bake-off competition intensifies, Renee’s office relationships are strained, her sweet son becomes unruly, and the rift with Val widens. Can a decades-old cookbook help Renee restore the bonds every woman needs?



Now, an interview with Sandra:

1.        Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

For me, writing is a business, but it’s also a ministry, so the faith aspect is important. I write Christian romance and began with historicals set in the late 19th century. For the past couple of years, though, I’ve written contemporary romances. Honestly, I’m eager to get back to the past and alternate with a mix of time periods.

My writing career began in 1986 (the same year in which Renee takes place) with greeting cards and posters, then I moved on to children’s short stories for Sunday School take-home papers. I’m a big believer in God’s timing, and His timing, when it came to writing novels, was not until 2009. That’s been my focus since, with my first (a novella) traditionally published in 2014 and the follow-up novel in 2016—the Barnes Brothers series. In 2019, I went independent and have published ten additional novels and novellas.

In my real life, I’m a wife, mom, and occasional granddog-sitter living in North Carolina.

2.        What is your latest book about? Who are the main characters and when and where does it take place?

My latest book is Renee, Book Seven in the Apron Strings series. In this series of books that takes place in different decades, I was blessed to be given the 1980s, a decade I know well. I set the book in western North Carolina near Asheville and gave the story a young widow (Renee) with a six-year-old boy. She had a somewhat vagabond childhood and yearns for a sense of belonging and lifelong friendships.

Renee believes a house, rather than the small apartment she and her son now occupy, will offer that permanency she’s lacked in life. Hoping the prize money will complete the funds she needs to buy a house, she enters a baking contest, only to discover she’s competing against her best friend.

3.        What is the overarching message of your latest book?  

Renee is a story about relationships . . . with a little romance thrown in. Her go-to verses are Ecclesiastes 4:9-10. I chose those scriptures, because they are so  because they are so apropos to Renee’s spiritual growth.

4.        Did you learn anything about writing or yourself as you were writing the book?

I’m accustomed to writing romance from two points of view—the hero and heroine. This book is only in Renee’s point of view and light on the romance. When it came to her interactions with Greg, I so wanted to write his POV, too, which made the romance a little more challenging for me.

5.        Where can readers find out more about you and your projects?

Readers can visit my website and find my complete book list at http://www.sandraardoin.com/books. I’m also on BookBub, Facebook, X , and Goodreads.

The best way to keep up with what’s new, discover what’s upcoming, and learn of sales and specials is to subscribe to my newsletter. I send it out once a month or when something special is happening, like a sale or new release.

Check out Renee or any of the books in the Apron Strings series on Amazon and read them through Kindle Unlimited.

Fiction Friday. Book Recommendation: Murder in An Irish Village by Carlene O’Connor

BRIEF DESCRIPTION:

In the small village of Kilbane, County Cork, Ireland, Naomi’s Bistro has always been a warm and welcoming spot to visit with neighbors, enjoy some brown bread and tea, and get the local gossip. Nowadays twenty-two-year-old Siobhán O’Sullivan runs the family bistro named for her mother, along with her five siblings, after the death of their parents in a car crash almost a year ago.

One morning, as they’re opening the bistro, they discover a man seated at a table, dressed in a suit as if for his own funeral, a pair of hot pink barber scissors protruding from his chest.

MY THOUGHTS: This was a fun introduction to what promises to be an even more fun series. So far there are 10 books in the series. This is a very authentic Irish book written with Irish tone, accents, and history. I loved the main character, Siobhan (shuh-vawn) O’Sullivan, and her five siblings. Together they are known as the O’Sullivan Six in their small town.

Siobhan is a headstrong, redhead who has had an extremely rough year. She has to find the killer because a family member is being blamed for the death of the man found at their bistro. Combine her determination with a bit of romance between her and the local garda (police) and you have the perfect combination for a mystery in my mind.

*Heads up to those who like their cozy mysteries squeaky clean: while it has many cozy mystery elements there is some swearing, including the big ones that somehow sound nicer when written/spelled in an Irish accent.

I’m looking forward to checking out the rest of the books in the series.

Saturday Afternoon Chat: outside looking in no longer when it comes to Little Women, lots of nice weather, and a new link up for bloggers

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Did you ever feel like you are the outside looking in?

I’ve felt this a lot but specifically, I am talking about people who have read classic books like Little Women and I haven’t, or well hadn’t.

After reading Little Women this year I finally feel like I know what everyone is talking about when it comes to Jo and Laurie.

Finally!

I mean I have seen movies based on the book but only by reading the book did I really get why Jo and Laurie simply couldn’t be together at the end. They were too much alike. Both impulsive and passionate in ways that weren’t always good. Yes, as they grew they could have changed and mellowed but I can’t see that happening really. I think as they grew older they may have bounced off each other even more and ended up arguing all of the time, making for a miserable marriage.

They both needed partners to offset their personalities.

Jo needed someone more calming like The Professor and Laurie needed someone willing to be more genteel like Amy.

Part of me still doesn’t like that Amy and Laurie ended up together. My heart says it wasn’t right, but I can also see why Alcott didn’t make Jo and Laurie a couple. She needed to do something different – shake up the readers’ expectations and leave everyone talking for the next hundred or so years. If Laurie and Jo had ended up together then Little Women would have always been seen as a sweet book but maybe not the one ahead of its time that it is now.

What do you think? *looking at those who have read Little Women with a wide-eyed, somewhat crazed expression*

Relaxing breath.

Okay. With that off my chest, we can now move on to our regularly scheduled program of me reviewing my past week.

Today I am going to be sipping something warm – most likely tea – while writing blog posts, brainstorming more ideas for Gladwynn Shakes the Family Tree (book three in my cozy mystery series), and reading a cozy mystery. It’s a little chilly today after some very nice and warm days earlier in the week.

We had warm days and cold nights. Warm enough that our tulips came up and I thought one night they’d die in the frost we had forecasted, but they survived.

Next week I need to prepare myself to be at the playground a lot because it is supposed to be warm and sunny pretty much all week.

We spent time at the playground three days this week and a lot of time outside sitting on the porch and playing with the dog on other days.

In between all of that, we had school lessons as we marched toward the end of our school year. We will be finishing up around the first week of June.

I picked The Boy up from his trade school yesterday and we headed over to an additional location for a bakery near us that has become very, very popular before picking up our groceries.

The kids picked out some sweet treats – two Boston cream donuts for The Boy and three Oreo cupcakes for Little Miss (and an extra for dad) and three Hershey kiss cookies for me. The Boy also ordered an iced coffee but, sadly, said it had more ice than coffee. It was still good, though, he said and he will try again for one another time. He said he actually doesn’t like coffee that much but always feels like he should so he keeps ordering different kinds to see if the love for it will finally catch on.

There was a mix up at our pick up when the young man who brought out my groceries gave me two or three bags that were not mine.

I’m so glad I checked before I left because more than half my order was missing. He had grabbed the wrong stack of bags. I had to go into the store and track him down when I noticed the mistake. When he came out to the car to help correct, I let him know that I’m not in diapers yet so the one bag clearly wasn’t supposed to go me.

He was very polite and apologetic and the mistake was taken care of very quickly.

After we left there it was a quick snack from Wendy’s, which my son said was disgusting.

From there we headed home and the kids spent part of the afternoon watching Harry Potter and then a half hour at the playground.

Today The Husband has to work almost the entire day so it will be just me and the kids. We will probably watch a movie together later tonight – I’m trying to find something different that The Boy might like. He always suggests the weirdest movies so this time he’s going to watch something that I like.

Tomorrow we will visit my parents for Sunday lunch and to hang out. Little Miss likes to play games when we are there but I’m hoping that this time we can watch a fun or interesting movie instead.


This morning I spent some time crying over Tom Jones singing on The Voice. I never knew much about Tom Jones until I saw some clips on the UK version of The Voice and oh my. He is still amazing and he’s in his 80s! Just what?!

Here are a couple clips I just loved listening to while I procrastinated on cleaning the house and organizing my homeschooling supplies:

How was your week last week? Let me know in the comments and if you have a similar weekly catch-up post – no matter when you post it – link up with me.



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‘Cassie’ is up for pre-order

She’s here! Cassie’s cover is done and she’s ready to be pre-ordered. Okay, that sounded weird, but Cassie’s book is up for pre-order.

Cassie is book eight in the series and takes place in the 1990s.

If you’re curious what her story will be about, here is a quick description:

Cassie Drake starred in a popular sitcom over a decade ago, but she hasn’t been able to find a job since the show ended five years ago.

Now it’s 1995 and fired by her talent agency, Cassie decides to accept her sister’s offer for an extended visit in their hometown. Back in Coopers Grove, she’s just Cassie Mason, sister to Bridget Martin, the local volunteer extraordinaire with the handsome husband and three wonderful children.

When an accident at the site for the Martin family’s new café and farm store leaves Bridget frantic for help with the community center open house she’s planning, Cassie feels forced to step up—even though it involves something she’s clueless about.

Cooking.


Even with Mrs. Canfield’s Cookery Book, Cassie fails at every attempt. Fortunately, her sister’s handsome neighbor, Alec Alderson, steps in.

As a former chef, he’s more than capable of giving her some tips. Will his charming smile during cooking lessons be too distracting though?


Watching others use their talents leaves Cassie wondering if God, whom she’s barely spoken to in the last few years, is telling her she was made for more than the career that became her identity.

Pre-order here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D1VW9TVK

Keep a look out for more sneak peeks from Cassie in the upcoming months but for now we have a few other books to be released first!

Up next in the series will be Joann, Cynthia, and Renee!

You can keep updated on the books and their release dates, as well as be treated to fun and historical posts in our Facebook group HERE

The weird and sad truth of classic romance authors

Is it just me or is it sort of weird and a bit sad that most of the classic romance authors of the 18th century never actually married?

Jane Austen?

Never married.

Emily and Anne Bronte?

Nope.

In fact, they died so young they never even had a chance to really have much of a life or enjoy their success in writing.

Yet all three women wrote about romance as if they knew all about it. I’m sure there are other classic romance authors who never married or had deep relationships either.

Of course, all three women may have known about romance and love even though they didn’t marry so it’s not like I believe you have to be married to fully understand love.

Also, before I get too into the topic of this post, let me explain a few things about my relationship with romances.

I’ve never been one to exclusively read or watch romances. I like romances but they aren’t my go-to genre.

I am a fan of romantic themes in a movie but strict romances often seem formulaic to me and I quickly lose interest – especially when it comes to books. This doesn’t mean I never watch or read romances. I certainly do. I get as giddy as the next girl when a couple finally professes their love to each other after pages and pages or two hours of dancing around their feelings.

At the same time, all the back and forth looks and touches and misunderstandings, etc. just get old to me at times, if not written or produced well. Listen, I’ve written four romances so I am in no way knocking romance stories, books, or movies.

 My romances, however, have storylines in addition to the romance and I like books and movies that are similar. If I’m going to be honest, the idea of “keeping within the writing rules for a romance” became too much for me by book four and I decided I needed to write in a different genre – one that I read more of – cozy mysteries or mysteries in general. I will, however, be writing a book five of that series because I need to wrap up one character’s story. (Hello, Alex Stone, you’re getting your own book.)

One reason I don’t like reading a lot of romance is that I feel – and please read those words I feel again so you remember that this is an opinion — that they can create unrealistic expectations of love and romance for women and men, whether they want to admit it or not.

Some readers of romance books will say they don’t really believe that real-life love has to be the way it is written in the books but I feel that the idea of what romance should be is being subconsciously ingrained into their mind and many times they may judge their own lives on those books.

Thoughts like, “I know those books aren’t real life but if only my husband thought to bring me flowers like Patrick did in …” could creep in without them (us) even realizing it. Yes, even I have fallen prey to this way of thinking at times.

Now, even with all that being said, I don’t think all romance readers are this way. Sometimes they simply want a happy escape from life. They know the books aren’t realistic, but they are an idea of how life could be for them or others.

I also feel odd reading books that don’t have any romance at all in them. I like when a book has a romantic aspect to it – like a mystery with an underlying love story, so I am not, in any way, bashing romance itself or even strict romance books. There are some really good ones out there. I don’t endorse romance books with “smut” in them, of course, because that’s where the real unrealistic expectations of love lives set in.

One thing I’ve been noticing lately, though, is how at least three of the authors we consider the “founders” of romance books never married.

Does this make them frauds? No, I don’t think so.

Does it make them less reliable sources for the idea of romance? I don’t think so either.

I often wonder how hard it was for these women not to marry and have children, dreams they seem to have had and wrote about in their books. Though maybe it was just their characters that had these dreams of romance and marriage.

An amateur sketch of Jane by Cassandra Austen, Jane’s sister.

Jane Austen wrote about romance and how to find romance in books such as Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice, but she herself never married. There are different theories as to why and one of those theories is that she knew how to write about broken hearts because she absolutely had one.

Historians know from letters that Jane was proposed to once and she accepted it but then withdrew that acceptance a day later.

I wrote a bit about Jane’s love life in January when I wrote a review of the movie Miss Austen Regrets, which is very loosely based on letters between Jane and her sister Cassandra and her niece Fanny.

In that blog post, I mentioned that we don’t know a lot about Jane’s personal life because her sister burned tons of letters Jane sent to her. Some historians believe Jane wrote thousands of letters to her sister Cassandra over the years, but in the end, only about 150 survived and many of those were redacted or cut apart to keep certain information out of the public eye.

A letter to Cassandra from Jane that is available on the New York Public Library site.

Some historians also surmise that Cassandra wanted to protect the privacy of her sister. Jane was known to be very blunt and straightforward in her commentary and it is possible she was a bit opinionated about some in the family or others the family knew. Cassandra didn’t want people to see those comments. Or she might have wanted to protect Jane’s love life from a curious family and public.

Either way, some vital information that would have shed even more light on who Jane was in her personal life is no longer available.

Some of those bits of information would have been about her love life – like if she really was going to marry Rev. Brooks Edward Bridges, who is mentioned in Miss Austen Regrets, or Tom LeFroy who is mentioned in her letters (and other movies).

According to an article on the Jane Austen Society website, in 1805 during a visit to Godmersham, Edward Austen’s estate in Kent, Austen wrote to her sister Cassandra:  “[W]e could not begin dinner till six. We were agreeably surprised by Edward Bridges’s company to it. . . . It is impossible to do justice to the hospitality of his attentions towards me; he made a point of ordering toasted cheese for supper entirely on my account.” 

While there are some who believe Bridges did propose to Jane and she may have turned him down, there is no evidence of this happening, mainly because of the above mentioned burning of the letters. Jane did, however, turn down an offer of marriage from the rich brother of a friend in 1802. She accepted, then rejected in one days time.

Someone else historians would like to know more about is Tom LeFroy who Jane was said to have flirted with quite often in her 20s. While some say Tom may have broken her heart at one point, some historians say they don’t believe so based on the lighthearted tones of letters she wrote to Cassandra that mentioned Tom.

Jane met Tom, an Irishman, in 1795 when he was studying law in London. They attended several balls and dances together but then he went back to law school and she went back to writing.

“We don’t even know if Jane wanted to marry, which would almost certainly have meant giving up any chance to be a writer,” reads an article on Jane Austen’s House. “She certainly didn’t pursue marriage at all costs, as some of her female characters do. . . Her great love was her writing. Her books were her children – she famously referred to Pride and Prejudice as her ‘darling child’.”

[Read more about Jane and Tom in this article: https://janeaustens.house/online-exhibition/jane-austen-in-love/.]

The Bronte sisters also didn’t marry, except Charlotte.

Left: Branwell Bronte’s ‘Pillar’ portrait of the Bronte sisters. It was hidden away and not seen by the public until 1914.
Right: The collodion photo which dates from the 1850s.
If these are the Bronte sisters then the photo is a copy of an 1840s daguerreotype.

(credit: https://brontesisters.co.uk/)
 

The Bronte sisters are famous for the books: Jane Eyre, Villette, and The Professor by Charlotte, Wuthering Heights by Emily, and Agnes Gray by Anne.

Though she married, Charlotte died without ever having a child leaving no Bronte heir, though there were many who believed she was pregnant at the time of her death. Some historians now believe she died of hyperemesis gravidarum, which causes pregnant women to become very sick and constantly throw up, leading to dehydration and death if not treated.

There are rumors that Charolette’s younger sister Anne was in love with a local curate and he may have felt the same about her, but Emily was never linked to anyone romantically, despite the passion of one of the Bronte sister’s most popular books, Wuthering Heights.

While some base their assumptions that Emily had a romance with someone named William Weighton from a movie loosely based on Emily’s life (it isn’t easy to make a movie about her life that isn’t conjecture since she was a recluse who died at the age of 30), an article on the Digital Spy says that there is more evidence that William and Anne were actually the ones in love with each other.

“William Weightman was a real person, and he really was Patrick Brontë’s curate in the Haworth parish from 1839 until his death from cholera in 1842,” the article states. “He became good friends with all the Brontë siblings, and, in his eulogy, Patrick said he was like a son.”

In a letter to a friend, Charlotte Bronte wrote, “He sits opposite Anne at church sighing softly and looking out of the corners of his eyes to win her affection – and Anne is so quiet, her looks so downcast – they are a picture.”

Some believe that Anne’s best-known novel, Agnes Gray, was written about her feelings for William. She also wrote some very heartbroken poems after his untimely death.

While most reports say the deaths of Emily and Anne and their brother were caused by tuberculosis, some information suggests their deaths were both from the effects of tuberculosis (which claimed two other sisters years before) and a weakened immune system caused by their drinking water being tainted by decomposing bodies from the town cemetery. (Read more about that here and here.)

A drawing of Charlotte said not to do her justice.

Another one of Patrick Bronte’s curates fell for Charlotte Bronte and was married to her for the last nine months of her life, which I find so heartbreaking. Charlotte was 38 when she passed away. Her husband, Arthur Bell Nicholls lived until he was 87 years old. He cared for Patrick Bronte after Charlotte died because she was the last of Patrick’s children. Arthur eventually moved back to Ireland, left the ministry and remarried. There is a lot of debate over whether his marriage to Charlotte was really for love as well as how he handled her estate, including her manuscripts, after her death.

The love affair between him and Charlotte does seem legit, though, from what I’ve read. It almost didn’t happen because Patrick didn’t think a poor Irish curate should be asking his famous author daughter for her hand in marriage. Arthur apparently left the parish at one point because he could not marry Charlotte but continued to meet her in secret. He had originally asked Patrick for Charlotte’s hand in marriage in 1852 but it took Patrick  until 1854 to allow them to marry.

Poor Charlotte was dead a year later.

Arthur ended up spending much of his life after her death defending her reputation and dealing with the fallout of it being announced that she was the real author of Jane Eyre. After Patrick died, he took the manuscripts and other personal items of the family and moved back to Ireland.

Here is an interesting blog post about images of the Bronte sisters (including the possible one above) for further reading: https://whatsupwithbrontemania.wordpress.com/2017/02/17/blog-post-title-2/

There is heartache in the stories of many people from the past but for some reason, I always seem to find the heartache of those who wrote about love — and either didn’t find it or found it for only a short amount of time — the saddest stories of all.

Maybe that’s just because as much as I don’t like reading strict romances, I am really a romantic at heart.

No, romantic love is not all that life is about.

There is family and friendship love, experiences like traveling and just having joy with those close to us, and a relationship with nature, wildlife, God, and the overall beauty of the earth.

But when a person writes about love as if they want to experience it or experienced it and lost it — that makes me sad. I hate to think about them missing out on what they wanted so much.

Sunday Bookends: arctic temps, still reading the same books (sigh), and binging Northern Exposure

It’s time for our Sunday morning chat. On Sundays, I ramble about what’s been going on, what the rest of the family and I have been reading and watching, and what I’ve been writing. Some weeks I share what I am listening to.

This week I’m joining up with Kimba at Caffeinated Reviewer, Deb at Readerbuzz, and Kathyrn at The Book Date.


What’s Been Occurring

I talked a little bit about what’s been occurring yesterday in my Saturday Afternoon Chat. Mainly we’ve been dealing with weird weather of snow and rain and ice and high winds. Today our temps dropped very fast so we will be dealing with arctic temperatures for the whole week.  I will be inside the whole week, other than picking our son up at the bus stop (which is our local convenience store) because I don’t want him to have to walk up the hills to our house in the frigid temps.

I also woke up this morning to find out we have a wind advisory again so now it feels like 16 instead of 28. I was on my way to my parents this afternoon (they’re about eight minutes from our house) but when we saw a tree being removed from the bottom of our street and then another one hanging on a line, across the road and almost to the height of our car, I decided we would pick up my son and head back home to wait for the wind advisory to expire before we try again tomorrow.

We might have been fine but looking around seeing trees smashed along the road, limbs broken in the road and evidence of trees having been chainsawed to clear the roadway, we decided to err on the side of caution.

The Husband dropped some homemade soup I was taking off at my parents so they could at least have lunch.

Tomorrow’s temperatures will be frigid but at least we won’t have to be concerned about trees falling on us while battling the cold.

We have a lot of dead ash trees around us so those are ripe for falling down and causing issues. In the summer my daughter and I were at my parents’ swimming in the pool and one fell down behind my parents’ house in the woods. It wasn’t even windy that day. It just fell over. If it can happen without wind then it can definitely happen in 25 to 45 mph wind gusts.

What I’m/We’re Reading

I’m still reading Little Women and Dysfunction Junction.  I am enjoying both and like to switch off between them. I will probably finish Dysfunction Junction (by Robin W. Pearson) this week.

After that, I’ll be reading The Cat Who Went Into A Closet and The Bungalow Mystery – a Nancy Drew Mystery.

I am also reading Do The New You By Steven Furtick as a Netgalley read which was perfect timing since our online Bible study is going to be reading it in February.

At night Little Miss and I are reading The Borrowers.

What We watched/are Watching

I watched Northern Exposure over 20 years ago (probably) and started watching it again this week. I don’t remember much of anything about it so it’s like watching it for the first time.

It really was well written and holds up pretty well actually.

I also watched Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice for the Jane Austen January feature I’m doing with Erin from Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs. If you want to join in our link-up to discuss all things Jane (including the books) you can find the link up above.

I watched Miss Scarlet and the Duke last week and will probably watch more today and this week since I will be hiding in the house until the weather gets better.

The Husband and I watched the 1978 version of Death on the Nile. It held up pretty well despite Bette Davis looking like she’d come out of a crypt.


What I’m Writing

I am working on Cassie, which releases in August. I hope to have it finished by February. If you are curious what the book will be about, here is a very loose description:

It’s 1995 and 32-year-old Cassie Mason is an actress who made it big on a sitcom in the mid-1980s but hasn’t been able to find a job since the show ended five years ago.

After being fired by her talent agency, Cassie takes her sister Bridget up on her offer for Cassie to come back to their hometown for an extended visit to unwind and regroup.

While there Cassie finds out her younger sister – the one with the handsome husband and three kids and running a farm – is going to open a café and farm store in the small town they grew up near. Cassie decides to stay long enough to help with the grand opening, though she isn’t sure what she can do since she doesn’t know a thing about cooking like her mom and sister and isn’t great at organizing either.

In fact, Cassie isn’t sure what’s she is good at other than acting. Bridget hasn’t been able to help out at the Berrysville Community center like she’d like to with all that has to be done to open the business so she asks Cassie to fill in for a couple of volunteer opportunities. That’s when Cassie finds out that her sister’s neighbor, Alec, isn’t only a small farmer – he’s also someone who knows how to cook and showcases those talents in a weekly cooking class at the community center.

During her visit home, Cassie struggles to figure out not only where she fits in and feels most at home but also to figure out if acting is all she is meant to do with her life or if there is another way God wants to use her talents.

And God? There’s someone else she needs to learn more about on this break from the career she thought she’d always have.

I’ve also been writing blog posts:

What I’m Listening To

This week I have been listening to James Herriot’s Treasury for Children but this upcoming week I will be back to listening to A Tale of Two Cities.

Next week I hope to return to sharing blog posts from other bloggers that I enjoyed from the week. I haven’t been reading as many blogs as I would like to and I’m really looking forward to getting back to that this year.

Now it’s your turn. What have you been doing, watching, reading, listening to or writing? Let me know in the comments or leave a blog post link if you also write a weekly update like this.

Sunday Bookends: Christmas movies, Christmas books, Christmas, Christmas, and more … yes, Christmas

It’s time for our Sunday morning chat. On Sundays, I ramble about what’s been going on, what the rest of the family and I have been reading and watching, and what I’ve been writing. Some weeks I share what I am listening to.

This week I’m joining up with Kimba at Caffeinated Reviewer, Deb at Readerbuzz, and Kathyrn at The Book Date.



What’s Been Occurring

I wrote yesterday that I tested positive for Covid on Friday. I must have been at the tail end of it because yesterday morning I woke up with my nose clear and able to taste and smell again. I pretty much felt like I hadn’t had anything at all. I had written yesterday’s blog post on Friday evening when I was at my worst – congested and swollen in my nose, no smell or taste, and this horrible burning up my nose and through my sinuses that kept coming in waves and making my eyes water so bad I couldn’t see.

I literally cried when I could taste peanut butter and smell my essential oils in the morning. I know it seems dramatic and if you don’t know my back story with Covid-induced smell and taste loss then it does seem that way.

My previous smell and taste loss lasted a couple of weeks or more and when it returned my smell and taste were distorted for months afterward.

You can read more about that on the blog by searching Covid in the search bar to the right, though I’d just skip it because it’s depressing. Ha! It’s depressing but also gets hopeful later and taught me about trusting God.

Today when I made myself some deli ham on lettuce with Italian dressing (I’m trying to cut bread all the way out for health reasons) and I could taste the Italian dressing I felt weepy. I really did.

Every time I can smell something or taste something I feel immediate gratitude.

While I didn’t like the fear that came with getting Covid again since my last bout sent me to the hospital for five days (hooked up to a very low dose of oxygen for a day and a half of those days), I do like the reminder God gave me with this that he got me through that first bout and he is going to get me through whatever struggles I am facing now.

Much like a rainbow is a reminder of God’s promise to never flood the earth again, being able to smell and taste is like a reminder to me that God hasn’t failed me and doesn’t intend to let me fall now.

This illness was like a short head cold but I was very concerned part of the time it would be longer, like Covid was for me and my family before. I remained calm most of the time with a few breakdowns of crying, but trying to remember the verses about Jesus giving us peace that passes all understanding.

Most of the time I felt very peaceful. I did not feel dragged out like I did when I’ve been sick in the past.

Still, I prayed to God on Friday and asked him to please give me a sign that I was going to be okay. I prayed again very, very early Saturday morning when I couldn’t breathe through my nose. I asked God to forgive me for me being annoyed because I had just been thankful for being able to smell and taste a few days before and now it was being taken away again. I asked God to forgive me for not being thankful that I was breathing okay.

At 6:45 a.m. I still couldn’t smell anything.

At 9:30 a.m. I could both smell and taste.

Little Miss and my fever were gone (mine had been gone even when I tested positive for Covid the day before) and we both felt almost like we’d never been sick in the first place.

Talk about an answer to prayer.

We are in quarantine another day and then I can finally see my parents in person for the first time in two weeks.


What I/we’ve been Reading

Because my eyes were watering a lot this week, I didn’t read as much as I wanted to. I did continue some of my Christmas Regency romance book, which is a collection of novellas in one book. I am in the second novella now.

I also read a little of Southern Snow by B.R. Goodwin. I hope to have at least Southern Snow finished this week, but I also hope to finish Christmas in Absaroka by Craig Johnson.

Since it is the week before Christmas, I will probably continue to read A Vintage Christmas: A Collection of Classic Stories and Poems, which is a collection of Christmas stories by a variety of authors, including L.M. Montgomery, Louise May Alcott, Charles Dickens, and Mark Twain as well.

Oh, and I will definitely be finishing up my audiobook of Shepherd’s Abiding by Jan Karon which I have been listening to each night before bed. I mentioned before on here that I didn’t know if I liked the narrator but I absolutely love him as I continue to listen so I wanted to correct that. From what I understand he also narrates the other audiobooks of the Mitford series so I hope to collect them over time.

Little Miss and I are listening to The Greatest Christmas Pageant Ever again.

What We watched/are Watching

Since we couldn’t leave the house last week, I watched more than I do other weeks.

I watched We’re Not Angels as a buddy watch with Erin from Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs, and blogged about it.

I also watched Going My Way, the prequel to The Bells of St. Mary’s. I’ll blog about it later this week but really enjoyed it. I might have liked The Bells of St. Mary’s better, though. I don’t know. They were both very good and watching them close together was a good idea.

I then watched the 1938 version of A Christmas Carol and while I am about done with watching any more movies based on this book, I loved this one. This is probably my favorite version so far.

My aunt used to look for this version every year and I didn’t know why until I watched it this week. I wish I had taken the time to watch it with her when she was still alive.

I will blog about it later this week but for now, I will say I loved the acting in the movie. I also loved how I really feel this movie gave us more time with each character and gave us a more well-rounded impression of them. That well-rounded impression connected me to the characters more than any other movie I’ve seen and maybe even more than the book itself, which made the emotional impact of what unfolded even more powerful for me.

I highly recommend this version if you’re going to watch a movie adaptation of this story.

Last night I watched a Christmas episode of All Creatures Great and Small (the latest version).

This week I plan to load myself up on Christmas movies including The Man Who Invented Christmas, The Man Who Came To Dinner, White Christmas, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and maybe Arthur Christmas.

I will also be watching Christmas-themed YouTube videos and a couple of Christmas specials from the creators of The Chosen.


What I’m Writing

This past week I shared a lot of Christmas-themed blog posts including:

What I’m Listening To

I am listening to audiobooks such as Shepherd’s Abiding and The Greatest Christmas Pageant Ever and also Christmas music about the reason for the season (at least in my family) – Jesus’ birth.

Now it’s your turn. What have you been doing, watching, reading, listening to, or writing? Let me know in the comments or leave a blog post link if you also write a weekly update like this.

Fiction Friday: The Farmers’ Sons (Harvesting Hope) Chapter 7

This week’s chapter is a pretty long one, so brace yourselves. It is also the week where I am announcing that this latest book should be out to read in full this summer, most likely the end of July. And because I like announcements, I am also announcing that the final title of the book will be Harvesting Hope but I will be calling it The Farmers’ Sons here on the blog.

This story may be a little more raw than some of my other stories, but I hope my regular readers know that even if I mention topics such as sex, drugs, suicide, or low self-esteem, I always try my best not to get too descriptive or graphic. I am not someone who will be writing erotica on here, in other words, but the subject matter is a little more gritty than your average clean/Christian fiction.

So, with all that said, here is Chapter 7 of the story and at the end there will be a sneak peek of Chapter 8. If you don’t know, I share these chapters as a work in progress, so there will most likely be typos and plot holes, etc. If you notice them, please feel free to share with me in private or in the comments. Also feel free to share with me your thoughts on the story so far, on the characters, and on where you think the story should go next.

To read Molly’s story from the first book of this series, download a copy on Amazon or read it through Kindle Unlimited. To read the other parts of this story click HERE or find a link at the top of the page.

****

Ellie winced, curling her legs up against the heating pad pressed against her stomach. A burning pain had started in her lower stomach an hour earlier and was curving around to her back. She’d finally given up and taken ibuprofen. It hadn’t kicked in yet.

Outside, the sun was glistening off the trees where the leaves had come out on the maple tree behind the building. She enjoyed the blooming trees and flowers on her walk home from work, despite the pain that had increased after lunch time.

Was it the stress of the last few weeks causing her pain to be worse? Maybe her condition was simply getting worse. Either way, she prayed for the pain to end soon. She had Bible study in a couple of hours. They were studying Proverbs 31, and she needed to be there, not only to lead the study, but to focus on something other than her deepening depression.

She drifted off into a fitful sleep for 20 minutes before a knock on the door woke her.

Trying to ignore it, she rolled on to her side, facing the back of the couch.

The knocking continued. Then a voice she didn’t want to hear sent an aggravated growl up from her throat.

 “El-bell! Are you in there? I have to pee! I held it all the way from Scranton.”

Ellie flung the blanket off her and glared at the door as she walked to it and unlocked it. What is she doing here?

Judi bounded in as soon as she opened the door.

“Oh, my gosh. Thank God.” Judi dragged a suitcase on wheels behind her and walked into the middle of the living room. “I think my bladder is going to burst. Where’s the bathroom?”

Ellie sighed and motioned toward the hallway beyond the kitchen. She shuffled back to the couch and flopped on her face, waiting for her sister to come out and explain why she wasn’t in New York City right now. A few minutes later, she heard her sister’s heels on the laminate floor.

“Whoa. Has the break-up hit you hard or what? You look awful.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing Judi would go away again. “Thanks, Judi.” She spoke into the couch cushion her face was pressed into. “If you must know, I’m having cramps.”

“Oh.”

Cupboard doors opened and banged closed. “Got any food? I’m starving. There is like nowhere to stop on the drive down here. Or in town, of course. This place still doesn’t have any good restaurants.”

Ellie tilted her head to one side, still laying on her stomach. “What are you doing here?”

Judi shoved a wheat thin in her mouth. “Wow. That’s rude. I haven’t seen you in over a year and all you want to know is what I’m doing here?”

Ellie sat up and hugged a pillow against her chest. Her sister had just arrived unannounced, but had the audacity to call her rude? Yeah, okay.

Judi should consider herself lucky that Ellie was too tired to yell.

“I’m sorry,” she said, holding back the annoyance she felt. “It’s just that you don’t visit very often, so this is a bit of a surprise.”

Judi poured a glass of iced tea and then started opening the vegetable drawers. “Do you have any lemons? I like lemons with my tea.”

“Bottom drawer, in the back.”

“Where are the knives?”

“Second drawer from the stove.”

“Cutting board?”

“Cupboard next to the fridge.”

“Awesome. Thanks.”

Ellie listened to the click of the knife against the cutting board, waiting for her sister to enlighten her with her reason for the unexpected visit. After a few moments Judi sat in the blue plush chair across from Ellie and crossed one bare leg over the other, the hem of her maroon shorts pulling up to her thigh. She took a long drink from the iced tea before speaking.

“I was worried about you, El.” Her foot bounced as she talked. “You sounded so sad on the phone so I took some time off work and come see if I could cheer you up.”

Ellie looked at her sister through narrowed eyes. “You’re still working?”

Judi scowled. “That’s not nice. Yes, I’m working. I’m still at that designer clothing store I told you about.” She placed her glass on the table next to the chair. “Oh! Which reminds me — I have some of the cutest outfits to show you. I get an employee discount. I thought we could try them on and go out to Mooneys or drive up over the state line and find somewhere to show them off.”

Ellie raised an eyebrow. “I hope you don’t mean tonight because I can’t tonight. I have Bible study.”

Judi made a face. “Tell me you are not still leading Bible studies.”

“I am still leading Bible studies, yes.” Ellie tried to keep the aggravation out of her voice, but it wasn’t working. She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and tried again. “I have a Bible study at 7. You’re welcome to come along.”

Judi scoffed. “No thanks. Sounds boring. A bunch of uptight women sipping tea, highlighting passages in their Bibles, and acting as if they are so perfect and special.”

“Judi, come on. That’s not how it is.” Ellie tossed the pillow aside and walked into the kitchen to make herself a cup of blueberry tea. The cramps were still there but staring to fade to a dull ache. “These are nice women. Real women, talking about real issues. They aren’t fake.”

Judi stretched a leg out and propped her foot on the coffee table. “Real issues, huh? Like what dress to wear to church on Sunday? Or how ashamed they are for noticing how good looking the pastor is? Or maybe they talk about how disgusted they are with all the people who go out and live lives instead of sitting around reading some old book all day.”

A bird chirped from the branch of the cherry tree outside below the kitchen window and Ellie wished she could turn into that bird and fly away. She filled the kettle and sat it on the burner and turned it on. She turned toward Judi and leaned back against the kitchen counter, folding her arms across her chest.

“What happened to make you so angry at Christians, Judi? You never used to be like this.”

Judi sighed. “I’m not angry at Christians. It’s just —” She shrugged. “Some of the women that go to that church seem so stuck up. They act as if they are so perfect.”

The bird chirped again, and Ellie could almost feel herself in flight, gliding above the roofs of the buildings in town, over the courthouse and the library, to the edge of town where the train tracks cut a path between the business and residential districts. If Judi hadn’t been there, she would have closed her eyes, completing the mental journey out of town, across the farmland, down the path of the highway; transporting herself as far away from her current life as possible.

“Some do, yes, but not all. Most of those women are normal, everyday women who just want to learn more about God and how they can trust him during the good and bad times. It really isn’t fair for you to judge them.”

Judi turned in the chair and laid her arms across the back of it, propping her chin on her arm. “Is that what you talk about with these women? Your bad times? Like your bad times with Jason?”

Ellie bristled at the mention of Jason. The anger she felt toward Judi for bringing him up startled her. It was sudden and visceral. She didn’t talk about Jason to anyone but Lucy. Judi didn’t even know why she and Jason had broken up. When she’d asked, Ellie had told her they’d grown apart, and she didn’t want to talk about it. For once, Judi had left it alone.

Ellie turned and set the tea bag in the honeybee mug Molly had given her last year for her birthday. “Have you been home to see Mom and Dad, yet?”

Judi laughed. “I see how it is. Not going to talk to your little sister about the big breakup. Well, fine. You don’t have to. We’ll get you out to some clubs, meet some good-looking men and you’ll forget all about that dirty cow farmer.”

Judi stepped around the island separating the living room and kitchen and hoisted herself up onto the countertop next to the breadbox. “I’ll pop over to the parental units tomorrow. See what’s going on at the old homestead.”

Ellie reached in the cupboard next to the stove and reached for the jar of honey. “Did you even tell them you were coming?”

“Nah. I knew they’d be glad to see me no matter what.” Judi reached into the breadbox and pulled out a piece of the homemade bread Ellie had brought back from her parents Sunday. She bit into it and groaned with pleasure. “Mom’s homemade bread. So good. Makes me almost sad I gave up gluten.” She shoved more of the bread into her mouth, talking with her mouth full. “This one little piece shouldn’t hurt.” She looked down at her hips and patted the left side. “I hope anyhow. I can’t afford to gain weight or I won’t fit into that cute skirt I brought with me.”

She jumped off the counter. “I’m going to go grab my bag. It’s cool if I stay here, right?”

“Yeah, I gue—”

“Cool. I need a shower and a nap. I drove straight through and I’m beat. Have fun at your Bible study.”

Ellie waited for the teakettle to whistle, tapping her foot against the floor, her jaw tight. First, she’d had to deal with Brad, and now she had to deal with Judi. Could this week get any worse? She rolled her eyes.

“Don’t speak it into existence, Ellie Lambert,” she whispered as the teakettle whistled. “You know it can.”

***

She’d stood in the locker room doorway, dirty blond curls spilling down her back like a luxurious spider web. She pressed one finely manicured hand flat against the door frame, the other curled around her slender hip.

There had been so many nights over the years, especially recently, when Jason closed his eyes and saw her in his mind’s eye, hating himself all over again.

Lauren Phillips.

Bright red lipstick highlighted full lips. Dark eyeliner and light blue eye shadow complimented her green eyes.

“Hey, Jason, you’re looking good.” Her gaze had traveled down the length of him and back up again, lingering on his bare chest. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth, a soft purr vibrating in her throat. “Of course, you’re always looking good.”

He’d slid his shirt on, pulling it down with a quick jerk. “Thanks. You look nice too.”

She took a step forward, sliding a hand down a thigh length black mini skirt. “You think so?” She straightened her shoulders, pushing her chest forward, the red fabric of her shirt stretching tight against her slim figure.

“This is a new outfit.”

He nodded, cleared his throat. “Looks great.”

Returning to packing his gear in his locker, he tried to give off the vibe that he wasn’t interested in whatever Lauren was offering. And she was offering a lot. Not so much in words but loud-and-clear in body language.

She was attractive, yes, but Lauren also had a reputation around campus, and it wasn’t a good one.

Her fingertips trailed up his arm as he slammed the locker door closed, swirling a pattern up his shoulder and along the back of his neck. “We’re having a party tonight down at Phi Beta Kappa. I need an escort.” She played with the hair on the back of his head. “Interested?”

He shook his head, wishing her touch didn’t feel so good. “Nah. I’ve got a workout session scheduled.”

Her lips were close to his ear. “The party will be going late. Stop by and join us.” She leaned even closer, her breath hot against his skin. “When you’re done.”

Everything about Lauren was the opposite of Ellie. Ellie’s sweetness was genuine. Lauren’s sweetness was an act, a way to get into the heads of men she’d set her sights on to conquer. At least that’s how he saw her looking back.

No matter how many ways Jason tried to vilify Lauren Phillips, though, he couldn’t. He was the one who had decided to accept her offer to go to those parties, to let her lull him into what he’d hoped would be a pleasure filled distraction from the distorting thoughts that had settled on him at college.

The first kiss, outside his dorm when she’d walked back with him from the gym, had been intense. It had sparked a physical desire in him he’d almost caved in to but had resisted, using the excuse he had a class to get to. It wasn’t a lie, but he knew he was copping out. Any other guy on campus would have accepted her advances and launched a counter-attack of their own.

When Lauren kissed him hard one night after a party at her apartment, his will crumbled around him. Her arms wound around him like a serpent. As she pulled him toward an open bedroom door in her apartment, her hands up under his shirt, he knew he was crossing a boundary he’d set for himself years ago. He hadn’t even cared anymore. He needed something, anything, to drown out the pain of Ellie’s rejection, the doubts about his faith clouding his mind.

For those brief moments he’d forgotten who he was, and it felt amazing.

At first.

The guilt set in like a heavy chain around his neck within moments after he’d stumbled through her bedroom door, carrying his shirt and jeans.

The alcohol had blurred his senses. It had all been so rushed. She was dressing before he’d even had time to wrap his mind around what had just happened.

“That was fun.” Her tone was casual as she buttoned her blouse. “We should do it again sometime.”

He’d woke up a few hours later in his dorm room, unable to remember how he got there. Alex stood over him, his expression a mix of concern and confusion.

“Hey, Jase. You okay?”

Jason had moved in with Alex at the beginning of the second semester of his sophomore year to remove himself from the peer pressure of living with a bunch of football players in a frat house downtown. Alex, who he’d met his freshman year during an English Lit class, hadn’t offered him the break from temptation he’d been hoping for.

Instead, Alex had talked him into visiting bars, meeting women – meeting Lauren. Part of him could have blamed Alex like he tried to blame Lauren, but none of it had been either of their fault. He’d made his own decisions, and now he had to live with them.

Alex’s reaction to his state of mortification was less than supportive. At least at first.

“You got with Lauren Phillips?” He raised his arms to celebrate. “That girl is hot. She wouldn’t even give me the time of day. What have you got that I don’t?” Alex slapped the back of his hand against Jason’s right bicep. “Oh, yeah…muscles.”

Jason vomited in an empty container from the Chinese restaurant.

Alex made a face. “You’re throwing up after sleeping with a hot woman? Is it the alcohol or do you need to tell me something else? Like maybe you don’t like women? Maybe you like —”

“Alex!” Jason wiped his hand across his mouth, looking for a paper towel to clean himself off. “I like women. I am definitely attracted to women. That’s not it. If it was, I wouldn’t be in this situation right now.”

“What situation? Wait. Didn’t you use —”

“I just mean the whole Lauren situation. Come on, Alex. Don’t make this worse than it is.” Jason sat back, pressing his hands to his face. “I’m not the guy who just jumps in bed with a woman I don’t even know. You know that.”

“You mean like me?”

“That’s not what I meant. I just mean that I wanted to have a connection with the woman I – with whoever I first — I mean…”

“Oh.”

Alex shrugged, scooting himself back onto the top of the dresser, his legs hanging down. Jason could tell he didn’t want to talk about his friend’s bedroom experiences, or lack thereof.

“Okay, listen, you made a mistake. That’s all. It’s not the end of the world. Just cut Lauren loose and take some time to think about things. About what you really want. This is college. This where we screw up and learn our lessons, right?”

Jason had definitely learned a lesson from the experience, but he wished he hadn’t had to.

He’d almost lost his football scholarship that year after showing up late to too many practices and showing up more than once with a hangover. He avoided Lauren after their encounter, ignoring her phone calls and telling her he had homework to do that one night she’d pounded on his dorm room door.

“I guess you got what you wanted,” she snapped, arms folded across her chest, standing in the doorway as he tried to close the door. She lifted an eyebrow and smirked. “Or maybe I just got what I wanted.”

It was the last time he’d seen her, other than across the campus from time to time when she was hanging off the arm of one of the other football players.

He had refocused himself for the remainder of that year and for the next year after that. All he wanted was his degree, so he could go home and make sure his family’s business survived. He’d also realized he wanted to go back to Ellie. Along with God she was an anchor for him, and when he’d let go of them both, it had spun his life out of control.

The front door slammed open, bringing Alex and a gust of wind into the room and jostling Jason from his memories.

This was present day Alex, Alex seven years later but in some ways the same ole’ Alex. But hopefully not exactly the same Alex, since he was dating Molly now.

The crash of thunder and rush of pounding rain roared into the living room, quieted only when Alex pushed the door closed, his clothes clinging to him. Sliding his cowboy hat off, he propped it on the hook next to the door, then paused and looked at Jason, sprawled on the couch on his back.

“All the lights are off and you’re listening to sad country music. This can’t be good.”

“It’s not sad music. It’s Chris Ledoux.”

“Who you only listen to when you’re sad.” A crack of thunder rattled the window and lightening lit the sky outside.

Alex winced as he pried his wet button-up shirt off and tossed it toward the laundry room. It landed in the hallway, and Jason hoped he would pick it up this time. “Thinking about Ellie?”

Jason tipped his head back against the arm of the couch, his long legs stretched across the faded grey cushions, one arm laying across his forehead, the other one hanging off the couch.

“Yeah. And Lauren.”

Alex reached up and flicked on the light switch.  “Ah, man, no. Not a good combination. You can’t sit here sitting in the dark reflecting on past mistakes. It’s not healthy.”

Jason burped and reached for the can of soda on the coffee table without sitting up. Alex kicked at an empty bag of potato chips on the floor. “Um… this isn’t healthy either. Where are your regular veggie sticks and protein shakes?”

Alex pulled his wet tank top off and walked behind the couch toward the hallway leading to the bathroom. “Listen, I’m going to go get dried off and changed. When I come back, you better tell me what’s up.”

“Will you have your shirt on when you come back? Because I don’t need to see that.”

Alex scoffed and slapped his hand against his bare chest. “Of course, you need to see this. Who doesn’t?”

“You really want me to answer that?”

“Yeah, well —”

“If you say Molly likes to look at that I will get off this couch and mess up your pretty boy face.”

Alex raised his hands in a surrender motion. “Okay. Okay. Calm down, big boy.”

A few moments later, dried off and wearing a fresh t-shirt and pair of jeans, Alex smacked the bottom of Jason’s feet and told him to shove over and sit up. He sat a water bottle on the coffee table and cracked open a can of soda he’d grabbed out of the fridge on the way back to the living room. He took a long drink before sitting where Jason’s feet had been.

“Come on, man. What’s going on? Talk to your old friend Alex while you flush all that junk out of your system with this —” He squinted at the label on the water bottle. “Electrolyte enhanced mineral water. Whatever that is.”

Jason groaned and sat up, picking up the bottle. He leaned his elbows on his knees and sipped the water, staring at the turned off television. In its reflection, he saw a hollow version of himself, eyes heavy and empty.

Rain drops against the metal porch roof out back filled the silence. He rubbed his hand along his jawline, staring at the television until his haggard image blurred. The last three weeks had been full of training sessions for the fire company mixed in between building pens for the goats and planting corn and rye and his regular duties at the farm. His body was screaming a warning that he couldn’t keep this pace up much longer.

Alex cleared his throat, leaned forward, and propped his elbows on his knees. “Listen, Jason, like I said that day Ellie overheard us, I’m sorry for any part I played in you meeting Lauren.”

Jason waved his hand dismissively. “No more apologies, Alex. Like I told you then, my choices got me here, not yours. It wasn’t your fault. I decided to go with you to those bars and parties and I chose to sleep with Lauren, even if alcohol did cloud my judgement.” He pushed his hands into his hair and shook his head again. “If anyone should feel guilty, it’s me for not influencing you in a more positive way. I should be doing that now.”

Alex leaned back again and slid his hands behind his head, grinning. “So, you mean you should be my spiritual guide?”

“Well, maybe, yeah. Someone has to help you. You’re a mess.”

Alex playfully tossed a pillow at Jason’s head. “Thanks, jerk, but we’re talking about you. Not me. So, what are you going to do about Ellie? Molly says you and Ellie talked a few Sundays ago.”

 “Talked.” A derisive laugh escaped Jason’s lips. “More like yelled until I was hoarse, and she was bawling.”

Alex tossed the empty soda can toward the recycling bin in the kitchen. It bounced off the edge and rolled across the kitchen floor. “Yeah. Didn’t sound like it went very well.”

Jason swallowed hard, remembering the way Molly had looked at him. It had been almost as bad as the way Ellie looked at him.

“She said she needed time but I’m pretty sure she meant she needed to never see me again.”

Alex shook his head and leaned against his hand, propping his elbow on the arm of the couch. “It doesn’t seem fair. I mean, it’s not like you slept with Lauren when you two were dating. You were broke up.”

“That’s not the point in her mind.” Jason stretched his legs out in front of him, propped his feet up on the coffee table. “The point is, I never told her about it. She feels like I broke her trust.” He closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “And she’s right. I did.”

Alex tipped his head back against the couch, looked up at the ceiling. “The thing is, though, you’re a guy and guys can’t always push their needs aside like women can.”

Jason tilted his face toward Alex, cocking an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah?” He folded his arms across his chest. “You don’t say.”

“Listen, it’s admirable that you and Ellie waited for this special time between each other. It really is, but is it realistic? Like I said, guys have needs. She gets that, right?”

Jason narrowed his eyes, tipped his head to look at Alex, trying to stay calm. “Yes, Alex. Guys do have needs and you’re dating my sister. Anything you need to share with me right now?”

Alex laughed, rolled his tongue inside his cheek, propping his ankle over the opposite knee as he folded his arms over his chest and shook his head. “Let’s not get off topic here —”

“I’m on topic.” Jason watched Alex intently. “Tell me more about how the guy who is dating my sister has needs that need to be met. I’m listening.”

Red spread quickly across Alex’s cheeks and ears. “Listen, I respect Molly.” He cleared his throat and picked at a string on the bottom of his jeans, back to Jason. The smile had faded.

Jason cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah. And?”

Alex held his hand up, palm out. “Hey, remember what I told you after you found out about me and Molly? About things being private between a man and women, even if that woman is your sister? That applies here too.”

Jason wasn’t looking away. Alex cleared his throat again. “But — since I like my face being in one piece, I will tell you that your sister is worth waiting for.” He paused for emphasis, his gaze meeting Jason’s. “In every way. Okay? Now, let’s move this conversation back to your situation with Ellie.”

Jason’s eyes stayed narrowed. “Just because we men have needs, Alex, as you put it, doesn’t mean we have to have those needs met all the time or at the wrong time. There’s something called self-control and I should have had more self-control with Lauren. I’d committed to staying sexually pure for my future wife. It may sound old-fashioned to you, but it was how I felt and how I still feel.”

The teasing disappeared from Alex’s tone. “I get it, Jase. I do. Okay? You’re right. It sounds old-fashioned to me, but it also sounds nice. It just doesn’t seem fair to me you’re losing everything you had with Ellie over a woman like Lauren Phillips.”

Standing and walking across the floor to look out the window, Alex let out a long breath. Raindrops speckled the windowpane. Thunder rumbled in the distance. He turned to face Jason again, leaning back against the door and crossing one leg over the other. “That girl was trouble. I saw her making out with Jake Murray at a party a couple days later. I think she made her way through the entire football team that year. Probably that semester even.”

Jason rubbed his eyes, a stinging ache growing behind them. His chest tightened, and he shook his head. He felt like he was suffocating under the weight of shame-filled memories.

A pounding on the door gave him the chance to quickly pass his hand over his eyes and swallow his emotion. Alex stepped away from the door, turned, and opened it, letting in the sound of the pouring rain.

Molly stood on the porch, breathless. Rain matted her hair to her forehead and face, drenching her clothes. “My truck has a flat up the road and I think Liz is in labor.”

Jason grabbed his hat and jacket. “We’ll take my truck, come on.”

By the time he pulled his truck behind Molly’s, sitting along ditch about a mile from their grandmother’s house, the rain had stopped. Liz was pacing alongside the road, rubbing her protruding belly.   She had pulled her long dark brown hair into a tight ponytail and her face was pale.

Alex jumped out first, helping Molly out next. “Should you be walking around like that?”

Liz shrugged and tossed her hands up. “It’s either this or sit in there and hyperventilate.”

Jason glanced in the back of the truck. “The spare is here at least. Your water broke yet?”

Liz rubbed her arms and continued pacing. “If you mean all that water that is supposed to come out before the baby does then no. It’s just cramping right now. Intense cramping. Every ten minutes or so.”

Jason retrieved the jack and spare tire from the truck bed. “If your water hasn’t broken, we’ve got time to change the tire.”

Liz made a face. “When did you become a doctor?”

Kneeling next to the flat tire, Jason grinned. “I’ve watched about a few hundred cows give birth in my lifetime and not much happens until the water breaks.” He stood, pushed his foot down on the jack handle. “I’m sure it’s the same with humans.”

Liz scowled, folding her arms across her chest. “Jason Tanner, did you just compare me to a cow?”

He winked under the brim of his John Deere cap. “If the shoe fits, sweet cheeks.”

Liz kicked mud at him and growled. “If I wasn’t about to give birth, I’d kick your bu —”

“You’re not about to give birth.” Jason loosened a bolt on the tire. “You’re probably just having false labor.”

Liz swung to face Molly. “It’s fine if I bludgeon your brother with the tire iron, right?”

“Not unless you don’t want to get to the hospital,” Molly laughed.

Jason reached into his pocket and tossed the keys at Alex. “Take my truck. I’ll drive Molly’s.”

Liz winced and held on to the side of the truck, breathing slowly. The color in her face had drained again, and she bent over slightly.

“Get going,” Jason said, jerking his head toward his truck. “I’ve helped plenty of cows bring babies into the world, but I have no interest in doing it with a human.”

Molly took Liz’s hand and slid her arm around her waist. “Lean against me and breathe like we learned in class.”

Liz nodded, a tear escaping from the corner of her eye. Jason looked up to see her look at Molly with glistening eyes. “I don’t think I can do this,” she whispered.

Alex laughed softly as he opened the passenger side door. “A bit late for that.”

He winced as Molly’s fist hit his upper arm. “What? It is.”

Jason chuckled and shook his head. “Better watch it, Alex. Molly doesn’t get angry, she gets even.”

Molly turned her scowl from Alex to Jason, then back to Alex before smiling at Liz and rubbing her back. “Ignore them. Focus on the fact that soon you’ll be holding your baby in your arms.”

Alex placed a hand under Liz’s elbow and helped her into the truck.  

Liz’s shoulders noticeably relaxed as she leaned back against the seat, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. “Stay calm. Have a baby. Beat up Alex and Jason. I can do this.”

Alex laughed and patted her shoulder. “At least you have your priorities straight.”

Chapter 8 Sneek Peak

Chapter 8

Jason watched the truck disappear down the road for a moment before turning back to the tire. He worked a bolt loose, saying a quick prayer for Liz. Quick prayers were all the prayers he allowed time for these days. Any longer and his thoughts spiraled out of control.

The crunch of tires on gravel brought his head up. There was little chance he didn’t know whoever was driving by. Everyone knew everyone in this county. When he recognized the old blue pick-up pulling up behind Molly’s truck, his heart sank.

Tom Lambert, his dark brown hair speckled with gray, leaned an arm on the wall of the truck bed.