Randomly Thinking: The Weird Things Children say and Do and other random thoughts

Welcome to my weekly Randomly Thinking post where I share random thoughts that pop into my head throughout the week. Enter at your own risk.

Why is it when I buy waffles, the children in my house no longer want them? Then, when said waffles have been eaten, a child invetibly asks “Do we have waffles?” My son does this to me all the time with ice cream as well. Like he’ll say, “I’d like some ice cream.” And I get him ice cream and then he doesn’t eat it so somone else in the family will eat it (not me because I can’t have most of the stuff in most ice creams) then he says, “Where’s my ice cream?”

The ice cream isn’t there for a week when it is eaten either. It’s there for two or three months without him touching it, and finally someone eats it.

The kids, of course, get this from my husband who will let my mom’s left over apple pie sit there for a week before he will touch it and I figure he isn’t going to eat it so I eat it and then he says, “Where is my pie?” Come on! No one leaves my mom’s homemade pie in the refrigerator for a week! Sheesh!

***

Our six-month old kitten keeps running outside when we open a door to go anywhere. We usually spend anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes chasing her between properties and under bushes. I get really tired of trying to catch her when I need to be inside teaching children or cooking or loading the dishwasher. I will finally throw up my hands and declare: “That’s it! She’s on her own! I don’t care. Let her get eaten by a bear if that’s what she wants. I’m not messing with her anymore!”

Apparently I’ve said this too much because Monday my 6-year old daughter stomped into the living room and declared: “Scout is gone. I don’t care! She can be eaten by a bear for all I care. I’m done. I’m not messing with her anymore.”

Watching her declare all this with the sincerity of a 6-year old was hilarious and made me glad I hadn’t thrown in any curse words out when I was grumbling about the kitten.

The fact her expressions even looked like mine made it all that much more creepy.

(The kitten came back in on her own ten minutes later, incidentally.)

***

One night this week I was reading a book by Charles Martin and part of it deals with the loss of a baby during labor and later their road to adoption. It made me all emotional and feel such gratitude for both my children. It was after midnight but I knew my son would still be awake. I didn’t want to climb out of bed (the dog was curled up at my feet) so I texted my son, telling him I loved him.

This was, apparently, unnerving to him.

Him: Love you too. Did something happen? Did someone die?


Me: Lol. No. Just reading a sappy book and it made me think how lucky I am to have you kids.

Him: You usually don’t text me at 12:34 so I was scared that some kid died a horrible and painful death.

Nice to know that telling my son I love him strikes fear in his heart.

***

You know you live in a small area when the most exciting news of the day is that the town 20 minutes from us is gettin’ an Aldis! (I had to pause after writing this to call my mama and tell her!). I kid you not.

The reporter who works with my husband actually called at 9 p.m. to suggest they put it up on the paper’s website as breaking news. They put that story up as breaking news, but did not post that the governor came down with COVID as breaking news. Yes, this is a small, rural area. (Update: my husband says they did post the governor’s diagnosis as breaking news, but I told him I was leaving it that they didn’t because it was funnier for my blog post. He was not amused.).

***

I was picking out some Christmas cards onine for my parents. I found one that I liked but I told my mom I didn’t feel the painting on the front could be historically accurate. I said, “It’s Mary on a donkey holding baby Jesus. She wouldn’t be on a donkey with the baby. She was on the donkey before she had Jesus. And by the time they were leaving Bethlehem, Jesus would have been a toddler because the Bible says it took the Wise Men at least two years to find him.”

Mom, as she often does, schooled me on her Biblical knowledge by telling me, “Well, actually she probably would have been on a donkey with the baby because they had to take him to the temple in Jerusalem and that has to be done when they are a newborn and in a certain amount of days.”

I don’t even remember what else she said. I was so dumbfounded on how, once again, she put me in my place when it comes to the Bible, and in such a polite way too.

***

I think felines have short memories or almost no memories at all. Every morning my husband lets our older cat outside before he goes to work. Now that the temperature has dropped, by the time I come downstairs (usually a couple hours later because even though I am awake, I don’t want to get out of bed, especially if it is cold out), she wants back in and lets me know by standing on the table on our back porch and looking in the kitchen window.

I let her in, she takes a couple of bites of food and then she goes right back to the back door to be let out again.

I let her out but I tell her “you just came in, you know it’s cold.” And less than a half an hour later when I let the dog out, the cat comes in again after crying desperately at the window. A half an hour later she wants out again, but every time she goes out she looks bewildered, as if she is saying, “It’s so cold out here. Why is it so cold out here?” I always want to say back to her, “We talked about this before. It’s cold. Remember?” It’s our routine all day long. I’m wondering if it will hit her it’s actually winter by January.

***

I’m looking at reading challenges to do in 2021 and wondering if I will actually do them. I hope I do. One of the challenges is to read one classic book a month. I definitely want to do this one, because I had already planned to read a couple more classics in 2021, including a couple of Jane Austen books and maybe another George Elliott book (even though my son has written a book report on Silas Marner, which we read last month, and declared her to be a very boring writer. She isn’t. He was simply mad that I made him rewrite the book report because he made too many jokes in the first one.)

***

My husband and I recently watched a show about old, famous estates in England. The one episode was about Princess Diana’s family’s estate at Althorp. It was fascinating and though I have seen interviews with the 9th Earl of Spencer before (Charles Spencer) and know he’s very down to earth, it was interesting to see how much work he actually does to keep the estate running and why. His main reason is to keep the history that is there in good shape because there is not only British history there, but American history as well. He liked telling the interviewer that George Washington’s family “were essentially nannies for the Althrop family.” Despite seeming nice and sincere, he couldn’t seem to keep himself from reminding Americans their first president had once been a servant to his family.

“Don’t forget your place,” he seemed to be saying.

I’m kidding, of course. He didn’t say it that way at all, but I joked during it that was what he was trying to say.

Like many from the UK (or from our family), the Earl is quite pale, which led my son to remark, “That looks like a man who would find mayonnaise spicy.”

***

Am I the only woman who doesn’t swoon at those movies about a woman falling in love with a man who she later finds out is a prince? With all the drama and attention that follows the British royal family, I can’t imagine having to deal with all that ridiculousness. Now, if that prince decides to give up his rights to the throne for me…. maybe.

***

So those are my random thoughts for the week. What are yours? Let me know in the comments.

Randomly Thinking: More crazy book descriptions and premarital handholding

Welcome to my weekly Randomly Thinking post where I share random thoughts that pop into my head throughout the week. Enter at your own risk.

I imagine most of you in the US are having some sort of Thanksgiving celebration today. So first, Happy Thanksgiving!

***

Nothing like looking up at the clock in the living room and realizing it is 20 minutes fast. Wonder how long it’s been like that? And what did I do very early in the day that I didn’t need to? This same clock was 40 minutes fast the next day even after we changed the battery. We decided it was time for the clock to be retired.

***

My son is 14 now so some of his friends are starting to “date”. A sort-of friend of his texted him the other day to tell him he had a GF (girlfriend). My son rolled his eyes. I said “It’s probably one of those girls from the Christian school he goes to.” The Boy says, “Yeah, one of those girls that doesn’t believe in premarital hand holding.”

I snorted out a laugh.

“And they don’t even look each other in the eye because that’s too much too,” The Boy continued. “Like she accidentally looks him in the eye and goes ‘oh my gosh! We’re moving a little fast here, aren’t we?'”

I said, “Well, that’s why a lot of the kids from that school get married immediately after they graduate.”

“Why?” asked The Boy. “So they can finally make eye contact? ‘Oh! I always knew your eyes were hazel!'”

I said, “Um, no not so they can make eye contact.”

The Boy’s response: “Oh.” And he went back to school work because I’m pretty sure he didn’t want to think about that.

Plus, he knew I’d remind him that I don’t believe in premarital handholding either! At least not until he’s 25 or so *wink*

***

An elderly woman at the local little supermarket was the only bright spot of my day one day last week when she offered to let me go in front of her and I told she could go ahead, I was in no rush. She said ‘thank you’ because her husband was waiting for her in the truck outside and he “might get into trouble if she didn’t hurry up.” The way she said it with a little wink just cracked me up.

***

Pretty sure a lot of women would kill for a husband like mine who randomly says after dinner, “You just go sit and rest. I’ll wash the dishes.”

***

Do you have a family of ad-libers like I do? People who watch movies or shows and occassionally sermons, and ad-lib one-liners, additional quotes, or new plot lines? If you do, you have my sympathy. It can be funny at times but when they are rewriting the entire script as the movie plays it can also be aggravating. I blame Mystery Science 3000, a show known for the way its hosts mock horribly bad movies. After The Boy and The Hubby watch their episodes, they suddenly think they can do the same thing. (Honestly, their ad-libs are funny, so don’t take my suggestion that it is annoying seriously.)

***

I wanted to update the tagline for the Kindle book ad I saw and mentioned last week. The actual tag line was “Accidentally wed to a screaming hot stranger.” Again, how do you accidentally marry someone?! My son said maybe they stumbled between the bride and groom right when the pastor said “I now pronounce you man and wife!” Even if that was possible, there is all that marriage license needing to be signed thing.

***

Have you ever looked at some of the books on Kindle Unlimited? I’ve found some good ones but I’ve also seen more than I care to of “billionaire romances.” Seriously, how many single, eligible billionaires can there be in the world? To see all these romances you would think there are thousands of them, all men, and all sexy and living alone on their sprawling 200 acre ranch, pining away for a woman. And the women — well, they are always poor and in need of rescuing but they are also always suspicious of the rich man who can rescue them because he couldn’t possibly be rich and good looking, right?

***

Our kids were playing Minecraft the other day and Little Miss told her brother she needed him to get the creepers out of the McDonalds she built (which was odd since we never go to McDonalds). He used an ax and Little Miss said, “I don’t want you to use an ax! I want you to use your hands like a real man!” I have no idea where she got such a thing. I’m guessing she’s heard The Boy say it.

***

We went to see a light display at a golf course about 30 minutes from us. Lights and light displays were installed all throughout the course, on trees, in the fields, etc. I took some vidoes to show family but forgot about the my family’s tendancy to offer commentary at about every event (see aforementioned ad-libing issue). At one point our daughter said “Is that Santa in an airplane?” My husband said, “Yep.” She responded, “That is so cringe.” She’s six.

***

We discovered The Goes Wrong Show a couple of months ago and it’s caused some serious laughing fits in our house. I highly recommend watching their show if you can find it. It is currently streaming on Britbox on Amazon. The premise is that a drama society acts out plays but something always goes wrong. They offered this skit up about a week ago for a charity event for the BBC. This is about the craziness that COVID has brought to us. Their other episodes will help you escape from current events so I have added a couple other clips of those, and one from the Royal Variety Show five years ago at the end of the post.

***

So those are my random thoughts for this week. How about all of you? Any random thoughts? Let me know in the comments.

Randomly Thinking: Pets are trying to kill us and are cats inherhently evil? I say, yes.

Welcome to my weekly Randomly Thinking post where I share random thoughts that pop into my head throughout the week. Enter at your own risk

  • You know what’s great about adopting an extra cat? Instead of having two animals who want to kill me, I now have three. Seriously, why do they always walk in front of me while I am trying to walk? On Sunday my son was running with our dog when she took his legs right out from under him. She looked delighted when his face bounced off the leaf-covered ground.
  • In my Sunday Bookends post, which I posted on Monday this week, I wrote George Elliott’s run-on sentences reminded me of George Steinbeck. Of course I know his name is John Steinbeck and I have corrected that in the post. Must be George was on my mind because I’ve been slogging through Silas Marner. Seriously, as I am getting into it, it’s not actually that bad. I feel bad for making fun of it Sunday. It helps that I’ve found an Irish man reading it on Youtube and it’s somehow making it more entertaining for me because he does all the voices and offers inflections that I wouldn’t have added myself while reading it.
  • I have a friend whose dad has been dead for 18 years and she received an application for a ballot for him in the mail. The creepy thing is, she and her mom have moved since he died. I don’t even know how the election office figured out where to mail it. This election is going to be a mess, we all know that. I’m stocking up on extra supplies now. I made my husband buy extra toilet paper the other day because I told him there is going to be a rush on it again. We already can’t find paper plates. He went into Wal-mart the other day to buy some for us and the shelf was completely empty. It looked like the toilet paper shelves in March and April.
  • I picked up a book I had reserved at the library last week, excited to get a book for free to read, then remembered how nervous library books make me because I’m always afraid I’ll get something on the book or damage it somehow. Now I carry the book around in the bag the library gave me, only taking it out to read and then shoving it right back in the bag.
  • I was so glad to hear last week that so many people also mistake random yard displays or other items outside their windows as a person and have a near panic attack. My favorite had to be from Heather Dawn who said she thought her dripping sewer tank was a bear rummaging outside her house and she had to run to her house from her hot tub, without her towel. Her husband was laughing at her while she ran and it sounded so much like something that would happen with my husband and I. At least (hopefully) Heather wasn’t completely naked.
  • Keith Oberman. So. Yeah. He’s lost it.
  • Sean Hannity. So. Yeah. He’s lost it.
  • I’m not a big fan of political commentators in general. Can you tell?
  • Our adult cat likes to be outside — all the time. I don’t mind, except when she runs outside in the rain and one of my children hear her crying an hour later and cry “Oh my gosh! You left her out in the rain?! The poor thing!” I’m pretty sure she knows exactly what she is doing when she ignores me while I try to get her back in the house after she has slipped out while it is raining. She knows that wet fur will later be her key to snatching the attention away from the new kitten as the children fawn over her and dry her off with towels and make sure her food dish is full. After all, their mother cruely left that poor cat out in the rain. Right? Is it any wonder I believe that cats are inherhently evil?
  • One nice thing about homeschooling my son is that I’m learning a lot about subjects I never learned in school. This week we are learning about the Hitittes, which are a group of people mentioned in the Bible and many other historical documents. According to Wikapedia, “The Hitittes are: ere an Anatolian people who played an important role in establishing an empire centered on Hattusa in north-central Anatolia around 1600 BC. This empire reached its height during the mid-14th century BC under Šuppiluliuma I, when it encompassed an area that included most of Anatolia as well as parts of the northern Levant and Upper Mesopotamia.”
  • Sometimes I ask my husband to pick me up chocolate at the store and when he brings it in the house we have to conduct an exchange that looks a lot like a drug deal. He smuggles it to me so the children don’t see it, carefully hiding it against his body and sliding it to me when they aren’t in the room or their backs are turned. If we don’t do this, the little vultures will inhale it before I get any. Once it’s safely in my posession, I stash it deep in my purse or in a cupboard, high up where my kids won’t think to look, so that I can savor it over time. The only problem with this is that I have to wait for the kids to leave the vicinity of where I hid the goods so I can sample it. Most recently I hid chocolate on a high shelf in a cupboard in the kitchen. There are two problems with this: 1) my children are always near or in the kitchen and 2) I’m very short and have to use a stool or chair to get to the shelf so I’m always afraid that while I’m climbing up I’m going to fall and break a bone and have to tell a doctor what I was doing when I broke it. I suppose there are worse thingsI could say than “I was climbing to get chocolate.” At least it won’t be “I was climbing to get to my stash of cocoaine.”
  • I am really enjoy Mama’s Empty Nest’s posts about the lighthouses she has visited with her family over the years. This week she wrote about one in Assateague near Chincoteague Island. Every since reading Misty of Chincoteague, I have wanted to visit there and see the wild horses. Maybe someday. My husband’s boss visits there every summer or autumn in his camper. Maybe one year I will smuggle myself in. I’m glad I didn’t go with them this year, however, since while they were there, the remenants of a hurricane hit the island. Luckily they survived the craziness and it provided Dave with a very entertaining column for the following week.

So, those are my random thoughts for the week. I’d love to hear some of yours in the comments.

Randomly Thinking: The school papers are multiplying like rabbits and other random tidbits that spilled out of my head this week

Welcome to my weekly Randomly Thinking post where I share random thoughts that pop into my head throughout the week. Enter at your own risk.

  • I looked at the “writers” community in Instagram earlier today. All I can say is I’m glad I never wrote a six stanza poem about my period when I was 20. Good grief and good gravy.
  • There are school papers everywhere in my house and when I pick some up to put away, I turn around and there are even more. I swear they are getting married and making new little school paper babies when I’m not looking and they’ve trained my daughter’s craft supplies to do the same.
  • Sometimes, when I see it out of the corner of my eye, I think the fall display in our side yard, made of corn stalks, is a man and I have a mini-panic attack. Does that make me weird? Sad? I know. Just don’t tell me it does.
  • Funny Bablyon Bee headline: October on Pace to Be Three Years Long. I’m sure this will be true for us Americans, thanks to election season.
  • I have discovered that some modern writers in Christian fiction are good at social media and being “out in the public eye” but they’re really not that great of a writer/author. Ouch. I hope that won’t be me as I continue to try to improve writing. A little smoke and mirrors works for these writers, though. They have a cult following. In some ways it reminds me of Stephen King.
  • After reading some of these authors, I have decided I’m going to start moving away from the strict romance genre because some of the tropes are just ridiculous and make the books predictable. I have a possible trope planned for my latest and now I’m pondering how to change it so it isn’t so Hallmark-movie-predictable-plot-gagfest. I like Hallmark movies, don’t get me wrong, but they do all have about the same plot lines.
  • My dog barks at everything. Every. Thing. A cat in the yard next door, the UPS man, the mail lady, a dog barking across town, a leaf blowing in the wind, a door closing upstairs, a door closing downstairs, a person talking on the neighbor’s porch. She’s so jumpy I’m thinking of giving her some of the CBD oil I’ve been using to calm my nerves.
  • My son is obsessed with Minecraft. I find myself writing my books in my head when he talks to me about it, but I do try very hard to focus so he knows I care about the things he cares about. I am interested. It is just the game is so detailed and has so many components to how you can create with it, it makes my head swim.
  • So many of the sitcoms of the ‘80s had seriously depressing back stories. Abandoned children, dead parents, drug-addicted parents or siblings. Dang. What’s up with that?

I’m seriously looking forward to season two of The Chosen. If you have not yet watched season one, you can find the app on Android or iOS devices under The Chosen or you can visit their site.

  • This week a woman said Trump 2020 on a video I was watching, but I thought she said Psalm 20:20 so I looked up the verse. Even though it hit me later she’d actually said Trump 2020, I thought the verse was fitting for this year.

psalm of David. May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. … We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.

So those are my random thoughts for this week. What are your random thoughts? Let me know in the comments! Last week I asked this and Alicia’s random thought was: “How effective are the masks if I can still smell the old people’s “toots” when I’m cutting their hair at the nursing home?!” So…there’s that.