Tag: fiction

Fiction Friday: Mercy’s Shore Chapter 23

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn Fiction Friday1 Comment

As always, this is a continuing/serial story. I share a chapter a week and at the end of the story, after I edit and rewrite, I self-publish it. To catch up with the story click HERE. To read the rest of the books in this series click HERE. Let me know in the comments what you think.

Chapter 23

“I thought I told you to take the day off.” Ben stirred creamer in his coffee as he watched Judi walk in the front door wearing a pair of dark sunglasses and a cozy blue sweatshirt. “You don’t seem to listen very well.”

She tossed her purse on top of the reception desk. “I’d rather be working right now, actually.”

Ben blew on the coffee as Judi sat down and immediately opened the filing cabinet.  

He’d heard about the accident with Jerry from his parents and when he found out Judi had been on scene, he’d called her immediately. She hadn’t answered, but called him back later, explaining her phone had been left at Tanner’s Farm Store and she’d had to wait to get it until after she made a statement to the state police about the accident. He’d told her then to take the day off, rest, try to relax and not to worry about work for now.

She had agreed then but had obviously changed her mind overnight. He knew why without asking. He’d been there more than once in the last three years.

 Stay idle too long and thoughts would race.

Have racing thoughts for too long and the need to calm them with something to make the mind and body numb would become overwhelming.

“Did you get any sleep?”

She shrugged a shoulder and started typing. “Some.”

Yeah, “some” was most likely code for “in between the nightmares.”

She’d been through a lot last night from what his dad had said. She’d waited with Jerry Spencer until the ambulance had arrived and Jason Tanner, a member the volunteer fire department, had given her a lift to the store for her phone and then back home. His dad heard about it through the church prayer chain when Rena asked for prayer for both Jerry and Judi. Max had passed it on to Ben for prayer and information so he’d be aware Judi might need some time off.

Now all everyone could do was pray and wait and see if Jerry would pull through. He’d been alive when they’d taken him to the hospital, but he’d lost a lot of blood and his pulse had been week. A quick call that morning to Matt McGee gave Ben some details of the accident, mainly that there was alcohol involved. Matt hadn’t been the primary investigator on scene, since the accident happened in state police jurisdiction, but he’d driven by the accident scene on the way to his parents. The information was all unofficial and off the record, Matt reiterated, adding that it was also off the record that Judi had barely spoken while she waited for police, even when her parents arrived to sit with her.

Ben knew her family was an excellent support system but it took another recovering alcoholic to know how bad that urge to reach for a drink to numb the pain would be. He’d asked Judi about it before they hung up. She’d denied having any urge to drink, told him she was tired and quickly hung up. He hoped she’d been telling the truth.

“You want me to make you a cup of coffee?”

She shook her head and turned the computer on.

“Okay, I’ve got a lunch appointment at noon. I’ll be in my office until then. Let me know if you need anything.” He paused in his open doorway. “Like to talk or . . . anything.”

She didn’t respond and that worried him. Where were her quick comebacks? Her smart mouthed retorts? The fact she’d been so quiet lately wasn’t a good thing and he knew it.

When it came time for his lunch appointment he hesitated leaving, but Judi insisted she would be fine. The meeting was in Spencer and he flipped the radio on to drown out his racing thoughts on the 30-minute drive there.

Choosing booth in the back of the diner, he popped his brief case open after the waitress brought him the glass of tea he’d ordered. He’d suggested the location for this meeting because he felt like it might make the client, an octogenarian farmer he knew lived close to the Tanner’s, feel more relaxed. It was a simple finalization of the man’s will and a sale of part of his farmland. It shouldn’t take long.

Glancing up from the paperwork he watched Molly walk in and find a table close to the front window. He laid the paperwork down and found him studying the woman who he’d dated in high school when she’d been a girl. Like the last few times he’d seen her, including in church, she carried herself with much more confidence than she had in high school.

Her reddish-brown curls hung loose down her back and her green eyes focused out the window as she propped her chin on her hand, her elbow on top of the table. When he’d known her, she’d worn her hair pulled back or up on her head to keep it out of the way while she worked in the barn.

She’d never really been interested in dressing up or putting on make-up or even wearing clothes most females would. That was until a couple years ago when she started dating —

The front door opened again. There he was.

Alex Stone.

The man who had stolen Molly’s heart and was now walking into the diner with a confident swagger, wearing a pair of faded blue jeans, a white t-shirt with the name of Molly’s favorite band, Needtobreathe, on the front, and a black cowboy hat pulled low to his brow. He was sporting a five o’clock shadow along his rugged jawline and a smile crossed his lips as soon as he spotted Molly.

Sitting in the chair next to her, he looped an arm over her shoulder, pulling her against him. She looked up at him expectedly and within seconds he’d lowered his head to kiss her mouth. Ben knew he should look away, but somehow, he couldn’t.

He was happy for Molly, even happy for Alex, though the guy did seem to be a bit of a show off with those well-toned arms and all that swagger. Mixed in with the genuine happiness was a fair amount of jealousy, though.

For the last four years he’d pushed aside his desire to be loved by a woman, to hold her in his arms and have her look at him the way Molly was looking at Alex. He’d focused on his career and opening the law office, getting himself back on his feet and crawling out of the bottle.

He’d walked away from friendships he knew would only lead him back to the bar and he’d focused on rebuilding his relationship with his parents and siblings. Focusing on not wondering how Angie and Amelia were doing had been hard these past four years, but he’d distracted himself with court cases, paperwork, an occasional game of pickup basketball downtown with a couple of other lawyers and a few guys he’d met at church.

At night, though, the memories crept in; memories of soft lips trailing a path from his ear lobe to his neck, then back up again to find his mouth. He remembered his arms around a shapely, slender figure, pulling a warm body against him until he couldn’t tell where he ended, and she began.

During the last four years, he’d had a lot of time to think. Too much time really. He’d thought a lot about how his relationship with Angie had started all those years ago, how it had been about sex and physical attraction more than anything else. Over time it had become much more, but he hadn’t realized how connected he was with Angie on more than a sexual level until it was too late — until she was gone, and he was left alone with empty arms and an even emptier heart.

Alex and Molly had pulled apart from their kiss as the waitress walked over to take their order. Ben realized he hadn’t even been seeing them, his mind clouded with memories of a past life.

The diner door opened again, and an elderly man limped his way around a row of tables, toward Ben, who moved his attention to his approaching client. He stood to greet the man, offering his handshake. “Mr. Bradly. Hello.”

The handshake was firm, even if the hand was thin and frail. “Young Mr. Oliver. Good to see you again.” Jacob Bradly sat in the booth across from Ben. “Sorry for being late. Cow went into labor and it got stuck half way down. Had to take care of that first.”

Ben glanced at the man’s stooped form and long, thin, frail looking arms. “By yourself, Mr. Bradley?”

Jacob laughed. “Been doing it for 75 years, boy. Why would I stop now? Delivered my first calf at ten years old.”

Ben shook his head. There were no retirement years in Jacob Bradley’s future, apparently. Even with his son Mark almost completely running the farm now, Jacob hadn’t slowed down or backed off much at all. Sometimes Ben worried he’d hear the man had been trapped under a tractor like Robert Tanner had been a couple years ago. Robert had been lucky and had made it out alive with a limp. With his small frame, Jacob wouldn’t have the same luck.

Driving back to Burkett an hour later, Ben thought about how he could have clients with city backgrounds, city worries, and city money on his roster if he’d stayed in Philadelphia or New York City to practice. It might have lined his pockets faster, but it wouldn’t have kept him from comparing himself to his father any less. Max Oliver had worked his way up from paralegal in his uncle’s office to his own law office and eventually to county district attorney. More important than what accomplishments he’d reached were how he reached them, which had been with more dignity and respect than Ben had ever had as a young lawyer.

He was trying now, though. Trying to be a better lawyer, but also a better man. If he worked hard maybe he could earn the respect Maxwell Oliver had earned over the years. And maybe he could make up for all the damage he’d done to himself and his family on his way here.

Fiction Friday: Mercy’s Shore Chapter 17

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings, fiction, Fiction Friday1 Comment

This is a continuing/serial story. I share a chapter a week and at the end of the story, and after I edit and rewrite, I self-publish it. To catch up with the story click HERE. To read the rest of the books in this series click HERE. Let me know in the comments what you think.

Chapter 17

Judi was back in Angie’s room, feeling as awkward as she had before. Maybe she should have helped Ben tell the Phillipis that they needed to leave, but, honestly, she wasn’t ready for the drive yet. She was still struggling to process Jeff’s phone call and she didn’t want to process it while Ben demanded answers from her.

Plus, Angie’s dad had had an odd look on his face when he’d urged Ben to stay. Judi didn’t know Mr. Phillipi at all, but he seemed like a nice man, and he was giving her a vibe that he needed to talk to Ben. Maybe staying over would give them a chance to clear the air, if it didn’t give him and Angie time.

She answered a text from Ellie, telling her the full story of why she was in Lancaster and about the car, the accident on the highway, and that they were staying over. She didn’t tell her, obviously, about the call from Jeff.

After she hung up, she laid back on the bed with a pillow hugged to her chest. The call had certainly thrown her off her game. If she hadn’t received it, she wouldn’t have thought twice about getting in that car, rejecting the Phillipi’s pleading requests to stay, and instead driving her and Ben home so she could reconnect with Evan and forget about the calls from the lawyer and now Jeff.

She rolled onto her stomach and sent another text.

Hey, you okay? Just heard about a tractor-trailer accident and hoped it wasn’t you. This is Judi by the way.

She didn’t know why she told Evan who was texting. He’d put her number in his phone, but who knew how many girls he was receiving texts from on any given day? There was no way someone that good looking didn’t have a girl in every town.

She yawned and stretched then winced as her stomach grumbled in protest. She’d declined Mrs. Phillipi’s offer for dinner, instead wanting to hide away and not have to put on a fake smile. Ben had declined as well, hiding away in the den in the finished basement of the house.

She guessed they both were fighting battles with their thoughts. Better now than tomorrow on the road.

She glanced at the gold-framed clock on the wall. Nine o’clock. She’d heard Angie take Amelia to bed an hour ago. Hopefully, Angie’s parents were also early-to-bed people and hopefully, they also didn’t mind if she snuck down to the kitchen to find a snack.

She walked slowly down the dark hallway and staircase, turning left toward the kitchen, feeling along the wall for a light switch. Somewhere outside an animal howled or screamed or made some noise that reminded her that they might be four hours from Spencer but they were still in a rural area. She slid her hand along the wall with a little more purpose.

The kitchen flooded with light before she found the switch. She looked up to see Angie on the other side of the room by the refrigerator with her hand on a square light switch. Her dirty-blond hair was up in a messy bun, the makeup that had been meticulous and flawlessly applied earlier was gone, but she was still a natural beauty, which sent a swatch of jealousy through Judi, who felt like she had to work for her beauty.

“Guess I wasn’t the only one who needed a snack,” Judi said with a quick smile, shrugging a shoulder.

Angie didn’t smile as she folded her arms across her chest and leaned her right shoulder against the doorway. “I needed a drink.”

“Oh.” Judi gestured toward the fridge. “Please don’t let me stop you.”

“No. Go ahead.” Angie’s words were said through a tight jaw. “Grab your snack.”

Judi pushed a hand back through her hair and sighed. “I didn’t think your parents would mind but if it is an issue. . .”

Angie’s expression softened and she unfolded her arms, letting them drop to her side. “No, of course, they wouldn’t.” She walked toward a cupboard next to the stove, opened it, and took out a glass. “Sorry I’m so grumpy.” She turned around, a glass in her hand. “Please, help yourself. There is some pizza left over from the party if you’d like any of that.”

She took a paper plate off a pile by the toaster and slid it onto the island. “Here is a plate if you need one. The bread is in the breadbox if you’d like a sandwich. We have turkey and ham, salami, and some lettuce.”

Judi pulled out a couple of slices of pizza from the refrigerator and laid them on the plate while Angie filled her glass with water from the sink.

She leaned back against the counter as Judi placed the plate in the microwave.

“So, how long have you and Ben been seeing each other?”

Judi raised an eyebrow and looked over her shoulder. “Seeing each other? As in dating?” She shook her head. “We’re not seeing each other. I thought you knew I was his secretary.”

Angie shrugged a shoulder. “Well, that’s what he said, but . . .”

She let the implication hang in the air.

“And it’s what he meant. I’m filling in for his secretary. Her husband is going through chemo treatments, so she needed some time off. I drove Ben down here because his doctor advised him not to drive until he stops having headaches and dizzy spells from his concussion.”

Judi took the plate out of the microwave, set it on the island, and sat on a stool. “I’m also the reason he has a concussion and a broken food but no, we are not seeing each other.” She snorted a small laugh. “Ben is good looking, don’t get me wrong, but he’s way too uptight and strait-laced for me.” She grimaced. “And boring. So boring. I don’t know how you ever dated him.”

A small smile tugged at Angie’s mouth. She sat on a stool on the other side of an island, across from Judi.  “Well, he wasn’t always boring.”

“Yeah, probably not since he was still drinking then,” Judi said.

Angie made a face. “Actually, he wasn’t a fun drunk. He was an angry and depressed drunk most of the time.”

Judi swallowed a bite of pizza and bit her lower lip. Sometimes she really needed to think before she spoke. “Sorry. That was a bad joke.” She focused her gaze on Angie’s. “Really. I know firsthand how not fun it can be when a person drinks too much.”

Angie cupped the glass in her hands, her arms propped on the island. “Were you in a relationship with an alcoholic too?”

 “No. I was the alcoholic.”

Angie dropped her gaze. “Oh.” She cleared her throat and lifted the glass. “I didn’t know that.”

Judi smirked. “Guess you haven’t talked to anyone from high school in a while. I figured you’d already heard all about my stupid behavior over the years.”

“I don’t really talk to anyone from high school,” Angie said softly. “I don’t like remembering who I was back then.” She twirled the glass in her hand. “I had heard you moved to the city, though. What brought you back?”

Judi shrugged. “Needed a break from the hustle and bustle I guess.”

“I can understand that. The city was a bit too crazy for me, honestly. It made me realize I’m more of a country girl than I realized.”

Judi folded the pizza in half and shoved into her mouth, speaking around it. “I love the city. I’m not a country girl at all. Too dull around Spencer Valley.” She wiped her mouth with a napkin and swallowed. “Sorry to be so blunt, but it’s the truth. If you don’t want to go to a bar then you’re pretty much stuck reading a book or joining the quilt club.” She rolled her eyes. “Or join my sister’s Bible study.”

Angie smiled and propped her chin in her hand. “So how did you give Ben a concussion?”

Judi took another bite of the pizza. “I accidentally pulled out in front of him on Drew Road. He swerved to miss me and slammed into a tree.”

Angie winced. “Ouch.”

“In his new BMW too. Then he got out, bleeding from the head, yelling, pointing and gesturing while this vein in his head popped out. I thought it was going to explode.”

“The one right above his right eye?

Judi laughed. “Yes. It was popping to the rhythm of his words.”

“How about the neck one? Right below his left ear?”

“Working overtime.”

“How red were his ears?”

“Like a lobster. I can tell you know Angry Ben too well.”

Angie’s smile faded briefly. “Yeah.” The smile slowly returned. “Sometimes it was funny though. It wasn’t all bad anger. Sometimes he was upset about a class or because he couldn’t get the garbage bag open. It wasn’t always directed at me.”

Judi took another bite of pizza and a comfortable silence settled over the kitchen for a few minutes.

“People can change,” she said after a few moments, even though she wasn’t sure she believed it herself.

Angie nodded and picked up an apple from the fruit basket in the center of the island. “Yeah. They can.”

“I think I am seeing a different Ben than you did.”

An orange cat rubbed against Angie’s leg and she reached down and stroked its head. “Yeah. I think you are.”

 “Maybe you’ll see that version of Ben someday too.” Judi stood and tossed the empty plate in the trash can.  “Anyhow – I’m going to head to bed. It’s been a long and crazy day.”

Angie’s voice stopped her in her tracks, and she turned back around. “Did Ben ask you to drive him down here?”

Judi knew she should lie and said he had. It would probably make Angie feel better and make Ben look better. There was that whole private promise she’d made herself to be honest, though.

“No. Not exactly. I offered. He didn’t want to come.”

Angie drank the last of the water and placed the empty glass in the sink. “I see.” She turned to face Judi. “Why did you offer?”

Judi didn’t want to get into it, try to sound like a good person. She just wanted to go to bed and try to forget about the earlier phone call. Angie was looking at her with an expression Judi couldn’t read. Either she was hoping that Ben had shown some sort of interest in doing the right thing or she was afraid Judi had forced him to come.

“I figure he’d eventually regret it if he didn’t see his daughter.” She smiled and laughed softly. “And I really needed to get out of Spencer for a few hours. Like I said, the place is seriously dull.”

Angie responded with a laugh of her own. “I know and I’m going back there in a few weeks. What am I thinking?”

Judi placed her hand on the bottom of the banister. “Look me up when you get there. Maybe we can find something fun to do there together.” She raised her hands in a defense motion. “Something that won’t involve alcohol. I promise.”

Angie tossed the apple up and caught it again. “I may take you up on that. Hey, would you like a pair of pajamas? I’ve got an extra one in the second drawer of my dresser. We look about the same size. I’m sure it would fit.”

The two walked upstairs together, Judi thanked Angie for the offer of the pajamas, and they said goodnight.

She changed into the nightshirt and pajama pants Angie had offered her, turned the lights off, pulled the covers around her, and started to set her phone down when Evan texted back.

Evan: Hey, Judi Lambert. How sweet of you to be worried about me. Yeah, I’m good. Dropping my truck off and then heading back out on the road to Spencer. Hope to catch up with you when I get there. You back in town yet?

Judi: No. Car problems again. Still in Lancaster.

Evan: Ah, man. I should have looked a little longer. Sorry about that.

Judi: No problem. Really. Angie’s brother found some dirt on the connection to the battery.

Evan: Dang. Didn’t think to check that. Guess I was too busy checking you out.

Warmth spread across Judi’s cheeks and she immediately felt ridiculous. Plenty of guys had flirted with her over the years. She was used to it. Evan was no different so why was she reacting this way?

Judi: Very funny, McGee. Glad you are safe. We’re headed out tomorrow. Angie’s mom was worried about the fog and had us stay over.

 Evan: Good idea. The fog was rough. Took me an extra hour to get back to my garage and I’ll be taking my time back to Spencer. Call me as soon as you’re back in town, k? I’d love to see you again.

Judi smiled at his words.

Judi: Same here. I’ll be sure to let you know.

Evan: Night, Judi. I’ll be remembering that cute skirt you were wearing tonight in my dreams.

Judi clicked the screen off and laid the phone by the bed. She’d met a lot of guys over the years, most of them after one thing. Evan McGee probably wasn’t any different but right now she wasn’t sure she cared.

Flirting with him was a nice distraction from the situation with Jeff. She’d have to face it all at some point, call that lawyer and tell him she didn’t want anything to do with the case, but for now, she was going to pretend the only worry she had was how soon she could get together with Evan once she got back in Spencer.

Fiction Friday: Mercy’s Shore, Chapter 16

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn fiction, Fiction Friday3 Comments

This is a continuing/serial story. I share a chapter a week and at the end of the story, and after I edit and rewrite, I self-publish it. To catch up with the story click HERE. To read the rest of the books in this series click HERE. Let me know in the comments what you think.

Chapter 16

Ben’s mind was spinning when he reached Amelia’s room. His thoughts had already been jumbled before he’d heard the angry voice coming from Angie’s room.

First, Amelia had invited him up to her room about fifteen minutes after she got back from the hospital, something he was still struggling to process. Now he had to juggle that conundrum — and Angie’s furious expression when he’d taken Amelia’s offered hand — along with whatever was going on with Judi. Whoever had been talking to her had definitely been threatening her. He wondered if that was why she’d come back to Spencer Valley.

Angie had stayed downstairs with her parents. Her boyfriend, or whatever he was, had stayed outside with Angie’s brothers so Ben hadn’t been introduced to him. Not that Angie would have introduced them. She hadn’t even looked at Ben when she’d come back to the house with Amelia. She’d looked at the floor when Amelia had asked Ben to come up and see her room.

Now here Ben sat cross legged in the middle of a hot pink rug while his daughter – who didn’t even know she was his daughter – showed him her dollhouse. Ben knew Adam had built it, along with the bed frame and headboard and canopy scaffolding. He didn’t have to ask. It’s what Adam did after all and why he had a successful furniture making business. A furniture making business he was apparently moving back to Spencer. He’d probably been about to talk to Ben about that when Angie had come back with Amelia.

“Pop-pop says this dolly is like mommy.”

Amelia’s little voice made Ben love her even more and regret even more how much of her life he had missed out on. The doll in her hand was petite and blond and she placed it on a bed in the upstairs.

“And this is William,” the little girl said, sitting a male doll on the couch in the living room.

Ben didn’t even want to ask, but he finally did.

“And who is William?”

“William loves mommy. He told me so.”

Ah. William. So that was Tall-Ginger-And-Handsome’s name.

Ben simply nodded and reached for the stuffed bear he’d given Amelia downstairs. She’d laid it on the bed when they came in and for some reason, he felt like he needed something to squeeze at the moment. Did he really care if Angie had a boyfriend?

He squeezed the bears head with both hands.

Had he expected her to never date again after he’d abandoned her?

He squeezed the bear a little harder.

The answer to both of those questions was yes and he hated it.

He’d tried dating after he’d left Angie, or she’d left him, or — well, it was a mutual decision in some ways. None of the relationships had worked out after the third or fourth date and he’d been fine with that. He wasn’t interested in getting involved with someone again. He’d hurt Angie enough. No need to add more shattered women to the world when he inevitably screwed up again.

“William is a doctor.” Amelia was still talking, but not looking at him. Her attention was consumed with placing little figures into the house. She whirled suddenly and looked him in the eye with such intensity he was mesmerized. “What do you do when you aren’t home, Ben?”

She blinked a few times, her expression much too serious for someone so young.

He cleared his throat nervously, touching a hand to his throat and rubbing there. He’d hoped to loosen his tie, then remembered he wasn’t wearing one. “Uh, I’m a lawyer.”

Her nose wrinkled. “What’s a loyer?”

He laughed softly. “It’s someone who — well, we help people.”

Her face brightened. “You and William both help people.”

 “Yes. That’s right.” He nodded slowly. “We help people.”

Though William probably saved lives and there were days all Ben could seem to do was ruin them.

“Amelia?”

Angie’s voice called from the bottom of the stairs. He was surprised she’d let him up here alone with Amelia this long.

“Yes, mommy?”

“Why don’t you come down and say goodbye to William and your other guests. They’re going to be leaving.”

Amelia ran to the doorway. “Goodbye!” she yelled then ran back to Ben and sat next to him, her little legs folded under her.

Ben grinned. “I don’t think that’s what she meant, kid.” He stood and held out his hand. “Come on. Let’s head downstairs.”

She didn’t take his hand. “But I don’t want to. I want to play dolls.”

Ben heard his father’s voice in his next words. “I know it’s more fun to play dolls, but your mom is calling you. You need to listen to her, okay?”

He kept his hand out to her and she pushed her lower lip out, looked up at him, and shrugged.

“Okay,” she said, standing.

She took his hand, and he held it for a few seconds before turning to leave the room. Who knew when he’d hold this little hand again. He rubbed his thumb across the top of it, over the smooth skin. A hard knot formed in the center of his stomach and he swallowed hard. He’d missed out on so much. He had no right to even be here.

Angie’s words filtered up the stairs from the living room as he started down the stairs, confirming his own belief.

“No, Mom. I am not staying down here any longer. She’s my daughter.”

He paused on the steps but couldn’t hear Leona’s response. He kept walking, slowly, Amelia’s hands in his.

“She’s his daughter biologically only,” Angie snapped as his foot hit the floor off the bottom step.

She turned at the sound of his footstep, her face flushed. Their gazes met for a few seconds and then he turned his attention to Amelia, her hand still in his. “Thank you for showing me your room and dollhouse.”

Amelia smiled, pulled her hand from his and ran toward the patio doors, apparently on her way to bid her guests a farewell.

He kept his gaze off Angie and focused on Leona who was wrapping up food and place it into the fridge. “Judi’s up. We are going to head out shortly.”

“Are you sure? You both look so tired and there’s supposed to be fog tonight.” Leona’s brow crinkled in concern. “We’ve got plenty of room if you two want to stay. The boys got a hotel room.”

“No.” Ben glanced at Angie, felt the heat coming off her even though she was looking at the floor, her arms across her chest as she leaned back against the kitchen island. “Thank you, but we really need to head out tonight. I’ve got court Monday morning and I need to prepare some briefs.”

Angie smirked but didn’t say anything. He wondered what she was thinking, yet really didn’t want to know.

“Well, okay, I understand,” Leona said, disappointment tinging her words. She turned and lifted a container from the fridge. “I thought you might say that, so I packed up some extra food for your trip home. I hope you’ll take it with you.”

Leona and his mom were so similar. “Of course. I’d be glad to.”

The patio door slid open as he started to excuse himself to see if Judi was ready to go. Doctor Handsome stepped into the kitchen, his eyes focusing first on Angie, then on Ben. An awkward silence fell over the room until Leona nudged Angie gently in the side with her elbow.

Angie tilted her eyes upward and sighed. “William this is Ben. Ben this is William.” She lowered her eyes, her gaze drilling into Ben her complete disgust with his presence. “He was just leaving.”

“Ben, hey.” William didn’t seem bothered by Angie’s tone. His smile was still wide, maybe even warm. He held a hand out toward Ben. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Ben took the hand and laughed softly. “Yeah. I’m sure you have.” He shook William’s hand briefly and firmly then let it go, taking a step back toward the staircase. Time to get out of here. “Nice to meet you.” He gestured up the stairs. “I’m just going to make sure Judi’s ready.”

“I am!”

He watched Judi already coming down the stairs, hair combed straight and hanging down across her shoulders and back, makeup freshly applied, bright pink lipstick, smiling as if she hadn’t been shaking twenty-minutes earlier.

Ben stepped out of her way and watched as Leona introduced her to William as his secretary while Angie smirked again. They then filed toward the front door and out it as Ben thanked Leona and Adam for the invitation. Ben was grateful when Angie and William stayed in the kitchen and Matt and Dan stayed in the backyard with Amelia and a few of the stragglers. He was uncomfortable enough and more than anything wanted to get out of there and never look back.

Leona and Adam were still on the porch waving, and the sun was setting, when Judi turned the key in the ignition and the car didn’t start.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Ben growled.

This could not be happening. Could this day get any worse?

“Don’t even ask, Ben.”

“What?” Judi asked.

“Nothing. Just start the car.”

“I’m trying.”

“Try harder. Her brothers are coming out and I don’t want to die today.”

“It’s not going to start.”

Ben growled again. “Apparently good ole’ Evan wasn’t so smart after all. Maybe he was too focused on flirting with you to properly diagnose the issue.”

 Judi sighed instead of fighting back with a smart comment like she usually did, which reminded Ben of what she’d gone through earlier. He cleared his throat. “Sorry. It’s not your fault. I just want to get out of here.”

Judi pushed a hand back through her hair, staring ahead, her demeanor definitely more subdued than usual. “I understand. It’s been a stressful day all around.” She pushed a button under the steering wheel and opened the door. “Let’s see if we can figure this out and get on the road.”

Guilt and frustration were his main emotions as he climbed out of the car, but when he saw Mark and Danny standing on the porch dread overshadowed them both.

“Car troubles again?” Adam called.

Ben nodded. “Yep. Looks like. A guy looked at it on the way down but I guess he didn’t diagnose it right.”

“A mechanic?” Mark asked as he stepped off the porch and walked toward the car.

“A truck driver,” Judi said with a shrug. “You probably know him. Evan McGee. Matt’s younger brother.”

“Yeah, I know Evan,” Mark said. “Good guy. I’m sure he just missed something. Nobody’s perfect.” He smirked and turned to look at Ben. “I’m sure you would agree, right Oliver?”

The two men locked gazes for a few seconds before Ben answered. “Yes, Mark. I would agree. Would you?”

Judi cleared her throat. “Well, anyhow, Evan clearly was wrong and something else is going on.”

Mark leaned over the engine, propping a hand on the edge of the open hood. “I worked part time with Bert Tanner for a few years before we opened the business. Why don’t I take a quick look for you?”

“Thank you,” Judi said.

“Yes,” Ben said with a forced smile. “Thank you.”

While Mark looked retrieved tools from his truck and looked at the engine, Judi and Ben chatted with Adam and Leona as they waited. Mark straightened about fifteen minutes into his inspection and wiped his hand on a rag. He nodded toward the driver’s side. “Looks like you had a corroded connection to the battery. See if it starts. If it does you should be good to go but I’d recommend that you get your engine serviced when you get back to Spencer.”

Judi smiled over her shoulder as she opened the driver side door. “I’ll be sure to look into that as soon as I figure out what serviced means.”

When the car started Judi rolled the window down. “Thank you. Hopefully it holds out until we get back.”

Dan stepped out onto the porch. “You might need to find a different route, though, they’ve shut down part of the highway. Major accident. Tractor trailer overturned. Just saw it online.”

Ben thought about how it was generous of Dan to offer that information to a guy he’d probably rather beat up. The brothers were being polite in front of their parents, but he had a feeling if they were alone with him again the politeness would be gone.

Leona looked concerned as she rubbed her hands across her arms. The move reminded him of his mom when she was stressed or wanted to say something she didn’t think anyone else would want to hear.

Leona bit her lower lip briefly then said quickly, “I think you two should stay until the highway is clear. There is supposed to be even foggier conditions tonight. You two can head out first thing in the morning.”

The woman was nothing if not persistent, but Ben had to resist her. Mark’s previous congenial behavior was fading fast based on the crease in his brow. Next to him, Dan had his hands on his hips, staring Ben down as if challenging Ben to accept the offer. Or maybe he was challenging him to reject the offer and reject yet another female member of the Phillipi family. Right here, in front of everyone. Either way, it wasn’t going to end well for Ben.

Before he could decline the latest offer, though, tiny fingers encircled his.

“Are you going to have a sleepover, Ben?” Amelia asked in a tiny, curious voice.

 Ben glanced up at Angie and William who had stepped out onto the porch to stand next to Dan. It was as if the whole family had come out to watch him make a complete fool out of himself no matter how he answered.

“Um. No. I don’t think that would be a good idea, kid.”

“Why not? You can sleep in my room in my sleeping bag.”

Ben laughed softly. “That’s sweet, kid, but, again, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“We really don’t mind,” Adam said in a sincere tone, laying his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “It would be nice to have a chance to chat since we were interrupted earlier.”

Leona touched her hand to her throat and rubbed the dip there, looking more concerned than before.

“I just hate to think of anything happening to you two out there on the roads tonight. I know I would feel better if you were driving home in the daylight instead of this fog. I’m sure your mother would too.”

Ben took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Leona knew how to twist the knife in deeper, go in for the kill. Invoke the thought of his mother at home, pacing the floor, wringing her hands, waiting for him to call and tell her they’d it made home through the fog. Only his parents didn’t even know he was here. Of course, Leona didn’t know they didn’t know, and he wasn’t about to get into that right now.  

And there was something about the way Adam was looking at him that sent a twinge of dread sliding through him. Why was it so important for Adam to talk to him? He already knew about the move. Was something else going on? Maybe someone in the family actually was sick.

He couldn’t stay, though. The entire situation was incredibly uncomfortable and growing more uncomfortable by the minute. Plus there was Judi. She had to feel out of place. He wasn’t sure how upset she still was by that phone call she’d had earlier either.

He turned slightly to look at her. She shrugged a shoulder, as if to say the decision was his. He’d always been bad at making decisions though so when he agreed to stay, he felt deep in his chest that he’d done it again – made another bad decision he was going to regret.

Fiction Friday: Mercy’s Shore Chapter 15

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings, Fiction Friday2 Comments

This is a continuing/serial story. I share a chapter a week and at the end of the story, and after I edit and rewrite, I self-publish it. To catch up with the story click HERE. To read the rest of the books in this series click HERE. Let me know in the comments what you think.

Chapter 15

“So, the dude with Angie is her boyfriend.” Judi pushed a bite of cake into her mouth. “He’s a doctor.”

The cake was amazing. Judi hadn’t eaten cake in — well, she didn’t know how long. She’d always stayed away from cake to try to keep her figure. She couldn’t believe what she’d been missing. This had been her third piece since they’d gotten there.

She stared at the half-eaten piece for a few seconds, then laid the fork back down. Whoa. She was about trade one addiction for another. The sugar addiction wouldn’t kill her as fast as the alcohol might, but still. She pushed the plate away.

“Anyhow, that’s what Mark says. He’s a nice guy when you get to know him.” She wiped frosting off her upper lip with a napkin. “He hates you, though. We should probably duck out before Angie and the kid gets back before they give you another concussion.”

Ben pushed a hand back through his hair and sipped from the cup of coffee Leona had brought him earlier. A handful of guests were still lingering, helping Leona and Adam clean up. Judi had heard them agree they’d stay around until Amelia came back and opened her gifts. The mention of gifts reminded her of the stuffed bear Ben had shoved in the trunk a few miles back. They’d stopped at a toy store in town. He’d had no idea what to buy but Judi had grabbed the bear, shoved it at is his chest and declared bluntly, “Kids like stuffed things. Let’s go.”

“Should I go get that bear out of the trunk?”

Ben stared into the coffee cup for several moments then jerked his head up suddenly. “Huh? Oh. Yeah. That would be a good idea, I guess.” He sat back in the lounge chair he was sitting in and rubbed the back of his neck. “You know what? Let’s go get that and then let’s head out.” He looked at his watch. “It’s getting late and we’ve got a long drive back.”

Judi wanted to go back. Evan’s suggestion they get together when she got back to Spencer was at the forefront of her mind. Still, something tugged at her conscience and she decided not to agree as quickly as she usually would have.

“Shouldn’t we stay?” She shrugged a shoulder. “Just to see how Amelia is?”

Ben shook his head and sipped the coffee again. “No. I think we should go. I shouldn’t be here.”

“Sure you should. You’re her dad.”

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that, and I’ve never acted like a dad, so, no I shouldn’t be here. Plus, it looks like she’s got someone to be her dad anyhow.”

He had a point. Should she tell him he had a point? She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and watched him drinking the coffee and staring blankly at the back of the house.

Actually, both Jesus and Ellie would probably not point out to Ben that he was right about Amelia having a replacement dad. That definitely wouldn’t help his mood.

“Well, still, it would look bad if you just left and didn’t see how she was.”

Ben finished off the coffee. “I’m sure she’s going to be fine. It was just a bloody nose. I got them a ton when I was a kid.”

He said the words but his dipped brow, far-off stare, and hunched shoulders told Judi he didn’t believe it.

“Well, this party has been a bit of a bust, huh?” Adam laughed as he walked over to the table and sat next to Ben. “Angie just called, though, and Amelia seems to be doing fine. No broken bones. They’re heading home soon.”

Ben’s muscles visibly tensed at the word “they’re.”

Ben placed the cup on the table and rubbed a hand across his eyes. “We should be heading out too. We’ve got a long drive back.”

 “You’re welcome to stay the night,” Adam said, folding his hands in front of him as he leaned on the tabletop.  “We’ve got a pullout couch in the den and Angie can sleep in Amelia’s room tonight.”

Ben shook his head quickly. “No. Thank you, but I need to get back and rest up. I’ve got court Monday morning.”

Judi cleared her throat. “Actually, I could use a rest before we head out.”

Adam’s expression brightened as if he was glad he could help somehow. “Sure. You can crash in Angie’s room. It will be a little more private than the den and I’m sure she won’t mind.”

Ben’s expression darkened and he shot Judi a glance she knew meant he was not happy with her. It was true, though. She could use a nap before the drive back.

Manipulating situations was a talent of her’s and she was glad to be able to use it for good this time instead of bad. Stalling their departure would give Ben another chance to see Amelia and say goodbye and maybe give her the gift they’d brought. Leaving now would only leave him on a lower note than he’d been on when he’d arrived. Maybe they could redeem the trip if he and Amelia had another chance to bond. It might make him less grumpy at work on Monday too. Judi wasn’t completely without an ulterior — and self-serving — motive.

She followed Adam into the house. He paused in the kitchen to let Leona know Judi be laying down in Angie’s room and then led Judi up a flight of stairs leading from the dining room and down a narrow hallway with a large window at the end of it.

Adam pushed the door open to a room on the right and as Judi looked to her left, across the hall, she noticed a closed door with a unicorn picture taped to the outside. Turning her attention to Angie’s room, she took in the sunlight pouring in streams across a queen-sized bed with a cherry wood headboard and a comforter featuring pink roses against a white background spread across it. The room even smelled of roses. Clean, tidy, and picturesque. The whole scene made Judi want to roll her eyes. She might have if Adam hadn’t been there and also hadn’t interrupted her thoughts by letting her know where the upstairs bathroom was if she needed it and asking if she’d like an extra blanket from the hall closet.

She thanked him, declining the blanket, and when he’d left and shut the door, she tossed her purse on a chair next to an armoire, stretched her arms over her head while yawning, and looked around the room before flopping back onto the pile of pillows at the top of the bed.

“My-my, Angie Phillipi, you sure know how to live in style.”

She yawned again and rolled onto her side, intending to take the nap she’d said she needed. An open drawer in a desk across from the bed caught her attention briefly but she closed her eyes so she wouldn’t get up and go to look in it. She was turning over a new leaf, changing her ways. She wasn’t about to snoop in the drawers of a desk owned by a woman she barely knew.

When she reached over and laid her phone on a book by the bed the book and the phone fell. The book must have been closer to the edge than she realized. She leaned over and picked the book up and when she did a photograph fluttered to the floor.

“Great. Just trash Angie’s stuff, Judi,” she said to herself as she flipped the photograph over to slide it bask into the book.

Ben and Angie’s smiling faces looked up at her from the photograph and she paused, studying it. Ben’s arm was around Angie who had her body pressed into his side. They were definitely a couple whenever the photo was taken, not only because of Angie’s intimate posture but because of Ben’s hand resting on her thigh. Judi studied the photo for a moment then opened the book to lay the photo inside. Handwritten dates and journal entries made her realize the book was actually a journal. As much as she wanted to know what, if anything, Angie had written about Ben. She was going to stick to her personal promise to not pry into the private lives of others.

She pulled herself back into a comfortable position and closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep quicker than she normally did.

The sound of her phone ringing woke her. She answered it without thinking and without looking at the caller ID, her eyes still closed.

“Hey, gorgeous. I didn’t expect you to pick up when you saw my name.”

The voice sliced a chill through her and she sat up, her eyes popping open. She swallowed hard, wanting to slide her finger over the end call button but feeling as if she were in a daze. Her arms wouldn’t move, her mouth had gone dry, and an odd roar filled her ears.

“Speechless huh?” A sardonic laugh filtered loudly through the phone, causing her to flinch as she realized she’d bumped the speaker button.  “Yeah, well too bad you weren’t speechless when you lied to Seline about that night in my apartment.” Jeff’s cheerful timbre slid into a more mocking tone. “Funny how you didn’t mention to her how you were all over me all night in the bar and all those highballs you kicked back before you asked me to take you back to my place.”

Judi pulled the phone back and started to hit the end call button, noticing the tremor in her hand.

“You wanted it, Judi. You know it. I was only giving you what you wanted before you decided you weren’t going to let me have it. That’s how girls like you are. You beg for it all night long and when we finally give in, then you cry rape. That’s what sluts do, Judi. You know that right? You don’t want your family to know what a slut you are, do you?”

She gasped as the phone was snatched from her hand. She looked up to see Ben standing above her with her phone in his hand, anger flashing in his eyes. She couldn’t figure out where he’d come from or how she hadn’t heard the bedroom door open.

“Who is this?” he hissed at the phone.

“Who is this?” Jeff shot back. “Judi’s new boyfriend?”

“No. This is Judi’s lawyer, and it sounds to me like you’re trying to blackmail my client and I don’t appreciate that and neither will a judge when we — “

Jeff spat a curse word and the line went dead.

Judi hugged her arms around herself, suddenly aware her entire body had grown cold and she was trembling.

“You okay?”

She started to shake her head but changed her mind and nodded.

He lowered his voice and she noticed out of the corner of her eye that the bedroom door was open and she could see into the room across the hall. Amelia was sitting on a pink canopy bed with a doll, brushing its hair.

“Amelia is showing me her room but when I’m done, we need to talk about what just happened. Don’t tell me it was nothing. I don’t know who that guy was but he was threatening you. Is this related to that text you got from some Seline earlier?”

Judi’s head jerked up and her mouth dropped open. “Wha —”

Ben held his hand up and turned toward the doorway. “No. Don’t tell me now. Take a deep breath, calm down and we’ll talk when we get in the car.”

“How much did you hear?”

“Enough to know whoever that guy is he’s a piece of garbage.” He paused, his hand on the doorknob. His tone had softened. “Are you going to be okay for a few minutes?”

Judi nodded but didn’t speak. Ben studied her for a few moments, eyes narrowing, then stepped into the hallway and closed the door. She’d been afraid to speak. If she had, the wall might have fallen, the emotion might have spilled over, and she wouldn’t have been able to put the lid back on again.

Fiction Friday: Mercy’s Shore Chapter 14

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings, fiction, Fiction Friday1 Comment

I shared a chapter from this story yesterday to make up for missing last week.

This is a continuing/serial story. I share a chapter a week and at the end of the story, and after I edit and rewrite, I self-publish it. To catch up with the story click HERE. To read the rest of the books in this series click HERE. Let me know in the comments what you think.

Chapter 14

Ben felt like he was going to throw up and it wasn’t only because of the gas station hot dog he’d eaten a half an hour before.

Parked in front of a cozy stone farmhouse surrounded almost entirely by flat land and corn fields , he narrowed his eyes and chewed on his lower lip, tapping the side of his finger against his chin.

“Let’s forget it.”

Judi laughed at his words and finished applying her make up. “After driving four hours, which included sitting for almost two, eating garbage food and being used as your therapist? I think not.”

Evan had said he’d run into Angie’s brothers somewhere in Spencer, something Ben been able to avoid for the last couple of years since he’d moved back to the area. He wondered if they’d be there today and if they were, he wondered if he’d get out of this party alive. The pair owned and ran their own construction business and were about as big in the shoulders as Jason Tanner. Together they could have made up half of the defensive line of a NFL team. He was actually surprised they hadn’t killed him already.

“I’m not really well liked in there, Judi.” His palms were actually sweating. Nausea gripped him and he had a sudden urge to drop his head between his knees and gasp in a few mouthfuls of air. “This could really end badly.”

“Her parents wanted you here, right?”

Ben nodded slowly, his eyes on the front door, drifting across the yard lined with cars, two of them large, black pickups he knew were Dan and Mark Philippi’s. His gaze lingered on the back of the truck and he wondered if that’s where they’d throw his body before they drove somewhere remote to dispose of it.

“Yeah, they did want me here, but actually being here is another story.”

Judi laughed, a carefree laugh which grated on his nerves even more. “It’ll be fine and if it isn’t, then at least it will be entertaining for me.” She winked and slid on a pair of sunglasses. “Come on, big Mr. Attorney. You can handle this. It’s not like it’s any worse than a murder trial.”

Ben took a deep breath and opened the door. “My clients aren’t usually murders, but thanks.”

Each step he took up the sidewalk was like walking knee deep in mud. He’d only seen photographs of Amelia. For all he knew she might run away screaming from him. He looked at the stone underneath him and knew Adam had crafted this sidewalk like he had the one at their old house back in Spencer. The man was a craftsman through and through, whether it was with stone or wood.

He stopped at the door and Judi stepped next to him. The gold door hanger glinted in the sun as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“That’s not how you knock on a door,” Judi said reaching up and slamming the knocker twice.

“I’m absolutely regretting agreeing to this,” he told her as footsteps broke through the muffled sounds of children’s giggles and squeals and adult laughter.

The person he’d hoped would be standing on the other side of the door when it opened was not who appeared and he visibly flinched, stepping back in anticipation of Mark Philippi’s fist hitting his face. The smile Mark had been wearing immediately slipped as dark brows furrowed and the rugged jawline clenched.

Ben expected the door to be slammed in his face and it might have if Judi hadn’t leaned into the doorway. “Hey! Is this the right place for a party? Also, do you have a little girls’ room because I could really use one.”

Judi’s appearance seemed to throw Mark off his game almost as much as seeing Ben standing at his parents’ door. “Uh. Yeah. Sure.”

Judi didn’t wait for Ben to make the first move. She stepped past him and m Mark, looking up at the latter  on the way by. “Oh, you’re a tall one, aren’t you?” She lifted her sunglasses for a minute, looked Mark up and down and winked. “Do you work as a bouncer? You’ve got to with those shoulders.”

Mark’s expression faded to an unreadable mask, but one eyebrow lifted. “The bathroom is down this hall. First door on the left.”

Judi didn’t miss a beat. She placed the sunglasses on top of her head and kept smiling. “Awesome. Thank you so much.”

Her departure left Ben standing with a stone faced Mark still holding the front door open before the tension was finally cut by Adam appearing from behind Mark, almost as if by magic. “Ben!” He stuck his hand out. “You made it! What a great surprise!”

Ben accepted the handshake and Adam shook it firmly. “Come on in. You must be exhausted. That’s a long drive.”

Adam gently pulled Ben forward, forcing him to step around Mark who was now scowling down at him like a Sumo wrestler who’d just been told he wasn’t getting any dinner.

“How was your drive?” Adam asked as he released Ben’s hand outside the living room entrance.

“Okay, but we did break down about an hour from here. I apologize that it made us late.”

“No worries at all.” Adam smiled and motioned toward the hallway Judi had walked down. “Things are just getting started. Everyone is in the backyard with the piñata and bouncy house.” He laughed and held his hand up toward his mouth like he was letting Ben in on a secret. “Yes, we went a little over board and splurged for the bouncy house, but she only turns four once. And it was a good deal.”

Ben took Adam’s appearance in. Short cropped brown hair with flecks of gray in it now, maybe thinner than before but good-colored complexion. His brown eyes sparkled with excitement and he seemed well. Maybe he wasn’t sick. Maybe it was Leona. Or maybe it was Angie. Or —

“Ben!” Leona’s voice from behind him turned him from Angie’s father to a petite woman in her mid-50s with graying honey blond hair cropped along her jaw line.

Leona held her arms out to him and embraced him before he could respond. The parents of the woman he’d abandoned four years ago were certainly being very welcoming and he wasn’t sure how to take it.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Leona said with a warm smile. “We didn’t think you were going to be able to make it. I thought you weren’t allowed to drive yet.”

“Oh, I’m not yet, but —”

Once again Judi had horrible timing. She came down the hall with a broad smile and stood next to him. He gestured briefly at Judi. “But my secretary nicely offered to drive me.”

“Hello.” Judi smiled and waved at Adam and Leona whose smiles faded briefly then returned. She waved again at Mark who managed a faint smile. “So nice to meet you.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you too,” Adam said. “Thank you for driving Ben down.”

 Leona’s smile was as warm as before as she motioned toward the hall. “You both must be starving. We have plenty of food in the backyard.” She looked at her son. “Mark, why don’t you and your dad walk Judi out and grab her something to drink.”

Mark kept his gaze on Ben for a few seconds then looked at his mother and smiled a smile Ben knew was forced. “Sure. I’d be glad to.”

When Adam and Mark led Judi to the backyard, Leona turned toward Ben and he felt the knot in his stomach return. “Leona, listen, it was really nice of you and Adam to invite me and to want me here, but Angie —”

Leona held up her hand. “Didn’t want you here. I know. We are going against her wishes but we felt it was time for you to get to know your daughter more.” She laid her hand against Ben’s shoulder. “Will you come into the living room with me for a moment?”

Ben followed the woman who had once been like a mother-in-law to him into a cozy room with white walls, blue flowers on white couches and chairs, and a high-backed recliner that he imagined was Adam’s. Along one wall was a floor to ceiling bookcase which he immediately envied. A television sat inside a cubby in the wall of the bookcase, which in addition to being filled with books was also lined with various frames full of photographs of a bright-eyed, blond haired little girl, some with Adam and Leona, one with a laughing Angie. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw her laugh. She probably laughed a lot now that she didn’t have to deal with his various issues.

He also couldn’t remember when he’d last seen Angie in person. Probably when Amelia was a year old and he’d run into them when he was home for a visit around Christmas and her family was preparing to sell and move to Lancaster. It had been in a small farm store the Tanner’s ran and he’d been picking up milk his mom had asked for. Amelia and Leona had been picking up sweet potatoes and various baked goods.

He’d ducked behind tall rows of canned vegetables and fruits like a coward while they passed by. His gaze had fallen to Angie first, his chest aching at how beautiful she was, then had drifted to the baby propped against her hip, full and pouting lips, wide eyes that looked so much like his own, and Angie’s blond hair. In that moment he’d felt like the scum of the earth and left the store without the milk, lying to his mom and telling her they were out.

He looked at the photos again. Amelia on a swing at a playground, on the back of a pony, in a pool, in Angie’s arms. His chest ached like that day in the store. What was he even doing here? He kept thinking of a song from the early 90s where the singer called himself a creep and lamented he didn’t belong here —wherever here was. Ben felt the same way. He was a creep who didn’t belong in this house.

“I know this is awkward for you.” Leona’s voice brought him back to the present and turned him around. “It’s awkward for us too. We didn’t even know if you wanted anything to do with Amelia, but we had to take a chance. We really felt like —I mean, I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but we felt like God was leading us to reach out to you. Adam and I truly feel Amelia’s father should be a part of her life.”

He kept his hands in his pockets and nodded his head slowly, looking at the photos again briefly before he moved his gaze to Leona’s. “I don’t mind you saying that, Leona, but this isn’t what Angie wants.”

“Is it what you want?”

“What do you mean?”

“To be a part of Amelia’s life.”

Ben scratched rubbed a hand against the back of his head, scratched there. “Listen, I —”

“Mom, we’re getting ready to open presents, where are —” Angie’s expression as she came around the corner and saw Ben standing there switched quickly from shocked to annoyed within five seconds flat. Her smooth jawline tightened and her lips pressed into a thin line. One hand flew to her hip as she gestured toward him with the other hand. “What’s he doing here?”

Leona cleared her throat. “Your father and I invited him.”

“I know, but I told him I didn’t want him here.” Angie was mainly looking at her mother, occasionally casting looks Ben’s way, as if he could see them but couldn’t hear them.

“We invited him again and —”

“Decided not to tell me he was coming.”

“No, that’s not it, he had a concussion and couldn’t drive so we didn’t think he was coming. His secretary drove him here.”

Angie rolled her eyes. “I knew that girl looked familiar. Judi Lambert.” She scoffed. “Secretary. Yeah right. Nice try.”

She still wasn’t looking at Ben.

“Angie, honey, we’re not trying to cause any issues, we just felt Ben should see his daughter before the move.”

Ben cocked an eyebrow and looked between the two women. “The move?”

Leona turned her head to face him. “We’re moving back to Spencer Valley. Adam’s mother is very ill and we’re going back to take care of her. Adam also wants to move his furniture business there to run it with his brother.”

“Oh,” Ben said.

“He doesn’t need to know about the move because he’s not involved in it,” Angie snapped.

Leona left out a heavy sigh. “We didn’t want him to be shocked if he saw us, or you, around.”

Pink flushed along Angie’s cheekbones. “So call and tell him. He didn’t need to be told in person.”

Ben rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger, the muscles along his neck and shoulder tensing. “Yeah, okay, well thanks for talking about me like I’m not in the room. That’s been fun, but I’m more than willing to —”

“Maybe I’m talking about you like you’re not in the room because you aren’t supposed to be in the room.” Angie’s words snapped his sentence off and left him with a sick feeling in his stomach. Her voice dripped with absolute vitriol.

Leona stepped forward between them and held up her hands, palms out. “Okay. Truce. There was some miscommunication. Your father and I invited him again and we didn’t tell you because we thought he wasn’t coming. Now he is here, and I think he should be allowed to meet Amelia. With your permission.”

Angie folded her arms across her chest. “No. I’m not giving you my permission. I don’t want him here.” She looked at Ben. “Oh, sorry. I don’t want you to feel left out so I’ll tell you.” She pointed toward the front door. “I don’t want you here. You and your so-called secretary need to leave.”

“Angie, please —”

“Mom! She doesn’t even know him. What do you think I’m going to do walk out there and tell her I got her a daddy for her birthday?”

“No, I don’t think that, Angela. We don’t have to tell her who he is right now. Just that he’s a friend of yours —”

“Of mine?”

“Fine, of your father’s and mine.”

“Hi.” Ben waved slowly, wishing he had taken painkillers before he walked in. “Can I have a say in any of this?”

Angie’s eyes flashed with anger. “You haven’t for the last four years so why should you now?”

Leona tipped her head back and let out an exasperated sigh. “Angela…”

“It’s true, Mom. Where has he been? He sends money. That’s it.”

“At least I do that,” Ben mumbled. “Not to mention, you made it very clear more than once that you didn’t want me around.”

The muscle in Angie’s neck that always jumped when she was angry was bouncing over time. Ben knew he should be focused on what she was saying, but instead he was remembering when he used to kiss that neck, smoothing the muscle, and her, into submission.

Before Angie could respond — and Ben did wonder what she had been about to say — a small figure bounced into the living room wearing a purple tutu and a hot pink shirt with a white kitten on it. She turned her body toward Ben and placed her hands on her hips, striking a pose right out of her mother’s playbook.

Her eyebrows dipped. “And who are you?”

Her little voice demanded an answer.  She had his blue eyes and his nose and the way she was scowling at him right now he had a feeling she had a bit of his temper in her too. He only hoped she learned how to manage it better than he had.

“Uh, I’m Ben,” he said hesitantly, unable to look away from her even as he felt Angie’s eyes boring into the side of his head.

The brow relaxed. “Hey, Ben, I’m Amelia. Are you here for my party?”

“Uh. Yeah. I am.”

Her eyes dropped to his foot, still wrapped in a boot, though smaller than it had been three months ago. She poked a finger in her mouth and slid it out again then pointed down. “What happened to your foot? Do you have a booboo?”

He nodded slowly. “Yes actually. It’s broken.”

“Did you fall?” She looked up at him and blinked a few times. For a moment  he almost lost himself in those eyes, spiraling down into racing thoughts of all the years of her life he’d missed, all the firsts and milestones — first words, first steps, books read before bed . . .

Her little hand reached out and in seconds her tiny fingers had curled around two of his. She tugged him forward. “Come see the backyard. It’s pink for my birthday.”

“Amelia, honey. You don’t even know —”

Angie left the final word hanging in the air. Ben looked over his shoulder and saw her lips parted, her eyes focused on his, and then the quick intake of breath as she dropped her gaze to the floor. She was right, though. Amelia didn’t even know him.

He dutifully followed his daughter, though, with Angie and Leona close behind. How could he say no to this little girl whose fingers were so soft against his, whose eyes had met his and still decided he should come see her birthday party.

They passed through a cozy, bright kitchen that smelled of fresh lemons and something else sweet that made his stomach growl. Squinting in the bright sunlight as they stepped through the patio doors made his head pound. He reached for his sunglasses, to cut down on the glare.

When his eyes adjusted behind the darkened lenses, he wished he’d still been blinded by the light. Mark’s hard stare had been joined by an equally hard stare from his brother Dan, both of them standing like two burly security guards by a table full of food, their arms folded across their broad chests. Judi was sitting at a small table with a group of young children, sipping from a pink paper cup with a unicorn on the side.

Amelia was right. The backyard had indeed been decorated in pink, with pink streamers hanging down from the ceiling on an erected white tent, pink tablecloths on the tables, pink balloons tacked to a back fence and along the streamers. Even the bouncy house was a pink unicorn castle with pink flags on top.

“Come on.” She tugged him toward the small table where Judi was sitting. “You can sit with me. I’m the birthday girl.”

Ben looked over his shoulder at Angie standing on the patio, watching him closely. Sitting down with his little girl might make her eyes flash even more with anger but refusing to do so might also break a little heart. He made himself comfortable on a preschool sized chair next to Judi show smirked at him as she lifted her cup and took a sip.

“Fruit punch with sherbert,” Judi told him with a grin.

Amelia sat on her chair and lifted a silver plastic tiara off the table, placing it on her head.  “So, Ben, are you friends with my mommy?”

Ben swallowed hard. “Um…”

He glanced at Angie who had stepped into the backyard, sitting a few feet away at an adult sized table with her parents and some other people he didn’t recognize. They must have been the parents of the other children running around. Angie was watching him but everyone else had gone back to eating and chatting.

He had no idea if she could hear him or not. “I know your mommy. Knew. I mean I knew your mommy.”

Beads of sweat dotted his forehead. Knew her mother was a definite understatement.

Amelia studied him in a way that made him feel like she could see right through him for several seconds. Then she abruptly pulled her gaze away and scooped her finger in a glob of icing, sticking the finger in her mouth.

“I like ponies,” she said when she pulled the finger out with a pop. “Do you like ponies?”

What was the rule about lying to children? It wasn’t that he didn’t like ponies, but he also didn’t exactly like them. Still, her bright blue eyes were boring into him the same way his bored into a witness on the stand.

“I like them okay.”

There. It wasn’t a lie. A very lawyer-like answer and totally acceptable.

“Do you like cake?”

Actually, he liked pie more but she clearly liked cake and he didn’t hate cake so, “Sure do.”

She lightly touched her fingers to her tiara. “Do you like my tiara? My grampy gave it to me.”

His throat thickened with emotion. He wondered what she’d been told about her other grandparents, or if they ever mentioned them. His father would love to give Amelia gifts like tiaras and purple tutus. He hated he was the reason his parents didn’t have that opportunity.

“I love it,” he choked out.

Her smile sent his senses spinning. Wow. He’d missed out on so much by staying away.

She sighed, propped her chin in her hand for a few seconds, then stood up quickly. “Imma gonna get you cake. It’s a party. You need cake at a party.”

She headed toward the table with the cake. He watched as a little girl ran to her with a ball. Amelia was quickly distracted and ran to a clear space in the yard to toss the ball with the girl and a few other children.

“She’s adorable,” Judi whispered. “And she’s way too friendly to take after you.” She winked at him. “I’m going to get some more of that amazing potato salad Leona made. Want anything?”

He shook his head. “No. I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

She patted his shoulder as she stood. “Suit yourself. Just don’t puke in my purse while I’m gone.”

Her seat wasn’t empty long. This time it was Dan Phillipi’s turn to glare at him. Mark must have tagged him in.

Dan sat backwards on the little chair and leaned toward Ben across the table. “What are you doing here, Oliver.”

Ben folded his arms on the top of the table and leaned forward even though he really wanted to lean backward. Very backward. “Your parents asked me to come.”

Dan’s voice was hard. “You’ve been asked to be involved in your child’s life before and you never have. What was different about this time?”

Ben kept his eyes on Dan’s, trying to act like he wasn’t intimidated by the man, but also realizing he had no idea how to answer that question. If he told him he’d been worried about someone in the family being sick, Dan would call it a garbage. If he told him his doctor had said he’d been very lucky not to die in that car accident, then Dan would probably laugh and say he wish Ben had died.

Luckily he didn’t have to answer because everyone’s attention was drawn to a cry of pain from the gaggle of children and then a wail that sliced into Ben’s headache. Angie flew up from her chair, knocking it over as she turned around and darted across the yard, her parents close behind. Ben’s heartrate increased as other parents stood and looked on anxiously. Dan stood and followed his sister, briefly forgetting about his interrogation of Ben.

Ben stood and walked slowly toward the chaos, his knees trembling when he saw Angie holding a crying Amelia, blood pouring from the little girl’s nose and running into her mouth. He wanted to lunge forward, take her in his arms, wipe the blood off and find out what happened, but it wasn’t his place. It was Angie’s place and she was already doing what needed to be done.

Someone bumped his arm, pushing past him and rushed toward Amelia and Angie. Ben watched a man with short, wavy reddish blond hair kneel beside Angie, who was now on her knees with Amelia in her arms.

“What happened?” the man asked.

“The ball hit her face,” a little boy said as the parents looked on.

The man touched Amelia under the chin and tipped her face upward. He studied her as tears streamed down her face. “It’s coming from her nose and it doesn’t look broken but there’s a lot of swelling.”

“Should we take her to the hospital?” Angie asked, her worried gaze focused on the man’s face, clearly looking to him for guidance.

The man pondered Amelia’s blood-stained face for a few moments before answering. “It might be good to get it x-rayed. Yeah. Just as a precaution. I’ll drive us.”

Drive us? Ben studied the scene before him with a stern expression. Who was this guy who straightened from his stooped position, holding his daughter?

“Hey, kid, don’t worry. We’ll have you fixed up in no time,” the man said, smiling at Amelia. He glanced over at Angie as she stood. “Let’s get a wet cloth and clean some of this blood off so I can see how bad it actually is.”

Angie nodded and Ben saw the tears in her eyes. The man laid a hand on Angie’s back, leaned down and kissed her mouth. “Don’t worry, okay? She’s going to be fine.”

Angie nodded again but a tear rolled down her cheek and dripped off her chin. She followed the man closely as he headed toward the patio and into the house. Watching them, Ben felt even more like an outsider than he had in the living room. Apparently, those three were a family. A family he wasn’t a part of.

Fiction Thursday: Mercy’s Shore Chapter 13

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings, fiction, Fiction Thursday4 Comments

Because I missed posting a chapter last Friday for Fiction Friday, I am posting an extra chapter today.

This is a continuing/serial story. I share a chapter a week and at the end of the story, and after I edit and rewrite, I self-publish it. To catch up with the story click HERE. To read the rest of the books in this series click HERE. Let me know in the comments what you think.

Chapter 13

Judi leaned back on her hands as she watched the man climb down from the cab of the truck. Pulling her lower lip between her front teeth, she was torn between checking him out and letting worry clutch at her as he turned and slid his sunglasses off. Scenes from movies she’d watched late at night when she couldn’t sleep flashed through her mind, but were quickly replaced by the striking figure in front of her.

The tall, dark-haired, and rugged man strolled toward her with confidence, wearing a pair of faded blue jeans and a gray t-shirt that fit nicely across his broad shoulders and clearly well-toned torso.

“It really is you,” he said as he came close, a broad smile flicking a spark of energy across her skin. “Judi Lambert. What in the world are you doing out here?”

He knew her, that was clear. Studying the dimple on one cheek, bright green eyes framed by fairly long dark eyelashes, she was having a hard time placing him, though. As much as she wanted to.

Her confusion was clearly evident on her face.

He laughed. “You have no idea who I am, do you?”

By now Ben had stepped out of the car and was standing next to her with a dipped brow and a tight jaw, watching the man walk toward them.

Judi shook her head and slid off the hood. “Um, no. Should I?”

The man stopped, placed his hands at his waist, and flashed a smile that made Judi involuntarily giggle. “Yeah. You should. You were one of the best make-out sessions I ever had in high school.”

Judi bit her lower lip again. She hadn’t had many make-out sessions in high school, and she knew this wasn’t the person she’d gone even further with. If she made out with this guy she’d definitely —

No way. It couldn’t be. “Oh wow. Evan? Evan McGee?”

Evan winked and shaped his thumb and index finger like a gun and pointed it at her as another rich laugh escaped. “The one and only.” He pulled the trigger on the finger gun, grinning.

“What in the world are you doing in the middle of nowhere?” she asked, immediately self-conscious of her hair, which she was sure was a mess. She dragged a hand through it and then across it, hoping to smooth away any stray strands.

“I could easily ask you two the same thing,” Evan said, glancing at Ben. “Oh, sorry. Are you Judi’s boyfriend?”

Ben shook his head and folded his arms across his chest. He wasn’t smiling. “No. I’m Ben Oliver. We went to school together.”

Evan’s face registered recognition. “Ben! Oh wow! Of course! It’s been years.” He stuck his hand out toward Ben and the two men shook hands briefly. “Sorry I didn’t recognize you.”

Judi smoothed her hands down her skirt, hoping it looked less disheveled than it felt. She smirked and tilted her head toward Ben. “He’s my boss now.”

Evan’s eyebrows raised. “Oh yeah? You went to law school, right?”

Ben nodded and slid his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, looking a little more relaxed than he had a few minutes earlier. “Yeah. Opened an office in Burkett a year ago.” In fact, Judi had never seen him look so casual. Almost as if he’d finally unclenched a little.

Ben glanced at her and back and Evan. “So, not to break up this reunion or anything but what in the world are you doing out here?”

“I drive long distance for a trucking company now and have a delivery in a town a couple miles from here,” Evan said. “I saw Judi when I drove by. I didn’t think there was any way it was actually her, though.” He grinned again and let his eyes slide down Judi’s legs. “I mean, she had the same legs, but I still wasn’t sure.” He shrugged a shoulder and looked back at Ben. “It takes a lot to turn one of these rigs around but I found a place so I could see if she — well, both of you needed some help.”

Judi twisted a strand of hair around her finger and bent her ankle back and forth. “It’s such a small world, isn’t it? And we do need help. My car croaked and the only mechanic around said it would take him 45 minutes to get here.”

Evan nodded toward the car. “Let me take a look before you spend a bunch of money. Maybe it’s an easy fix.” He glanced over his shoulder as he leaned down to pop the hood. “What are you guys doing this far south anyhow?”

“We’re headed to Lancaster to see —” Judi paused, not sure how much of Ben’s personal life she should share. She slid her gaze quickly to Ben who was watching her with an unreadable expression.

Evan filled in the blank. “Angie.”

Ben transferred his attention from Judi to Evan.

“Yeah,” Judi said. “How’d you know?”

Evan had opened the hood and propped it open and was looking at the engine. “I just took a guess. I heard she’d moved to Lancaster with her parents. I bumped into her brothers a few months ago on a visit back to Spencer.” He leaned over the engine and unscrewed a cap. “I didn’t think you two were together anymore.”

Ben cleared his throat. “We’re not.”

Evan turned and winced. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to assume.” He held his hands up, palms out. “None of my business.”

Ben nodded curtly. “It’s fine.”

It was time to change the conversation. Judi stepped closer to Evan. “So where are you headed after this delivery?”

Evan unscrewed another cap and pulled out a stick Judi figured she should know the purpose of but didn’t. “Back to Spencer for a visit actually.”

Judi could smell a musky cologne or aftershave coming off Evan. “How long will you be staying?”

“About a month. I’ve been working non-stop for about two years straight, so my boss said I needed to take some of my vacation time.” He leaned back and wiped his hands on a rag. “Mom’s been asking me to come home for a visit for a while now, so I figured I’d finally grant her wish.” He nodded toward the car. “I’m going to slide underneath to double check but I think this might be a simple fix.”

Judi watched him lay on his back under the front of the car, biting her lower lip as his shirt pulled up and revealed a hint of toned skin.

“Looks like you’re out of coolant,” he said after a few minutes.

Judi pursed her lips. “Oh. What’s coolant?”

“It keeps the car cool,” Ben quipped.

Judi rolled her eyes. “Thanks.” She turned her attention back to Evan. “So how do we get coolant?”

“Actually, I have some. It’s in the back of my cab.” He jerked his head toward his truck and smiled at Judi. “I’ll be right back.”

Judi folded her arms behind her and shot a smile right back at him. “I’ll be right here.”

“Of course he has some in his truck,” Ben mumbled, loud enough so only Judi heard it as Evan walked away.

 She elbowed him in the side as she walked past him to stand on the other side of the car and watch Evan. She ignored the gagging noise that came from Ben.

Ben cleared his throat. “Excuse me.”

“You are excused to wherever would like to be excused to.”

“Uh no – I mean you’re obviously ogling Evan. So —”

“Uh. Yeah, I am.” She turned and fanned herself with her hand. “Because he’s hot. Like seriously hot.” A soft growl came from her throat. “I don’t remember him being this hot when I knew him in high school.”

Ben rolled his eyes again. “Good grief. I don’t care if he’s hot or cold as long as he can get us moving again.”

Twenty minutes later, Evan had the car started and Ben shook his hand as he asked for directions back to the highway. Evan reached his hand out to Judi next and held it longer than he had Ben’s. Much longer, rubbing the top of it with his thumb. “Well, Judi Lambert, promise me you’ll look me up when you get back to Spencer, okay?”

The way his green eyes sparkled should have been a crime. “I’ll definitely be sure to do that.”

He let her hand go and held up his hand. “Hold on.” When he came back from the truck he was holding his phone. “Let me get your number so I can call you sometime.”

After she’d given him her number, she thanked him and slid in behind the steering wheel. Evan looked over his shoulder as he walked back to his truck and waved one more time at her, then climbed inside. She smiled at him, waving back as he started the truck and she started the car. When she looked away from Evan, she met Ben’s amused expression.

“Are you two done with your cute meet or whatever they call it in romance novels?”

Judi rolled her eyes and shifted the car into gear. “I don’t know what it’s called in romance novels, but yes, I guess we are done saying goodbye as people tend to do when they are parting ways.” She adjusted her rearview and side mirrors. “How would you know about what is in a romance novel anyhow? I doubt you have a romantic bone in your body.”

Ben scoffed. “I know about those novels. My little sister reads them all the time. Angie did too. They’re ridiculous. About as ridiculous as you fawning all over Evan. Now come on. Let’s get going before you break us down again somewhere.”

Judi gave him a mock salute as she pulled out onto the road. “Yes, sir, Captain Oliver.”

“You’re not as funny as you think, you know.”

Judi winked. “Luckily I don’t think I’m that funny.”

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye as he scrolled through his phone. Maybe Ben would be doing some ogling of his own soon. Ogling his old flame Angie, who Judi was going to try her best to make his current and future flame. She needed a challenge, something to distract herself from the past that seemed to be trying to catch up to her.

Sunday Bookends: Crazy week in so many ways

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings, Sunday Bookends4 Comments

Welcome to Sunday Bookends where I ramble about what I’ve been reading, doing, watching, writing, and listening to.

What’s Been Occurring

Last week was one of the busiest weeks I’ve had in a very long time. For that reason, I am writing this while barely awake. What do you mean all my posts sound like I’m barely awake when I write them? Well, anyhow. . . The busy week started Sunday when we headed 40 minutes away to see Top Gun: Maverick for me and The Boy and one of his friends, and the Minions movie for The Husband, Little Miss, and some of her friends (and those friends’ dad and brother.). I went despite the fact I’d only had about four hours of sleep the night before. Maybe the day was so fun because I was barely awake. I’m not sure.

Because Minions ended before Top Gun, The Husband and the father of Little Miss’s friends took the other children to a park and playground across town. The Husband came back to pick us up and when he did the boys and I were outside the theater and I was looking through the Little Library they had by the front doors. I had just discovered there was another row behind the first row (It was bigger on the inside!) and had three books in the crook of my arm when he pulled up in the middle of the street and called, “Get in quick!” and grinned like he was driving a get away car. I bet he always wanted to do that.

I had to hurry and slide the safety pin back into the door latch to hold the door closed and take off with the books like I was some kind of thief before a car came up behind him. It was both humorous and sad. I escaped with two hard-cover Robert Galbraith books and a Robert Parker book. I felt horrible because the sign on the little library door said “take a book, leave a book.” I didn’t have a book to leave, but The Husband said he would take three down to replace the next time he has to go to a meeting in the town for work.

And then, when we went back to the park to play a little longer and pick up Little Miss, he snatched another book out of another Little Library. So now we owe the town four books. Sigh.

On Monday we went to my parents to spend the Fourth with them. All four of my immediate family jumped in the pool together, which is unusual. Usually, Little Miss and I are the ones who go in the pool and sometimes The Boy. This time we were all in and it was a lot of fun, even though The Boy ripped a hole in one of his toes, and a couple of days later we thought it was infected.

The Boy was also dealing with a horrific sore throat from the Thursday before until Tuesday when it disappeared right before we took him to the doctor to see if he might have an infection of some kind. On the Fourth he couldn’t even eat because swallowing was too painful.

This is the third time I have taken one of my children to the local doctor only to have their symptoms disappear the day I take them and be told there is nothing wrong with them. I’m beginning to worry this local doctor thinks I’m crazy, but this time it was The Boy who insisted on going because the pain had been so bad.

I was hoping for a break on Wednesday, but then I was reminded the local firemen’s carnival was being held almost two months earlier than normal because of a change in ride vendors. This is the largest fundraiser of the year for the small, volunteer fire department in the town my husband works in, and I went to school in. My friends and I traditionally attended this carnival every, or almost every, year when I was growing up. I’ll probably share a blog post later this week with some stories about our trips there.

There is a huge parade held on the first day of the carnival and Little Miss’s gymnastics school was walking in it. Her little friends were going to be in the parade so I thought she would enjoy going as well since this is her first year in gymnastics. I had to go a couple hours before the parade for decorating (which it turns out they actually didn’t do because the girls ended up just walking and not riding a float) and then to drop them off for line up.

I then went to The Husband’s office because he was rushing to take photos of the floats to be sure the photos and stories went into the next day’s newspaper. His newspaper is a weekly newspaper, and they usually have an earlier deadline to have their newspaper sent to the printer, but once a year they are provided with a later deadline to make sure coverage of the parade is in the next day.

Little Miss went to the carnival for about 30 minutes with her friends after the parade and then we staggered home for a day off (Thursday) before I drove 45 minutes south (yes..we seem to be 45 minutes away from everywhere) on Friday to pick up Little Miss’s friends so they could have a day to play. That day became a little weird when Little Miss drank some orange juice too fast while we were at my parents, told me her chest hurt and she was scared, and then briefly fainted, similar to how she fainted when she was bit by a non-venomous snake last Labor Day and we had to take her to the ER. We called an ambulance that day because she slammed her head off a table during her fainting spell and was completely out of it.

This time she slumped into the fridge, I grabbed her and held her, calling her name and she opened her eyes within 30 seconds and asked what happened. We sat in the floor for a bit because she said her legs were weak and shaking but within 15 minutes she was up and running around with her friends again.

She acted completely normal for the rest of the day but since she’s now fainted twice after stressful situations, we are going to be calling a doctor to have her checked out. This will probably be the fourth time I take her to the local doctor and have them tell me there is nothing wrong with her, but I’ll be fine with that this time.

I have read before that fainting is somewhat common in some children (I fainted once from low blood sugar and gave almost fainted many times), whose body sometimes reacts quite quickly to stress by dropping their heart rate and blood pressure. The scary thing is that her fainting spells happen so quickly. One minute she’s talking and the next she collapses to the floor. My mom compared her to a fainting goat and she’s right- it’s sort of what it is like.

What was even odder about Friday is that my dad started to black out while we were on our way to see some fireworks later in the day. I don’t know of any connection between the two incidents. My dad believes his was dehydration, but we weren’t sure, so I drove him home before the fireworks even started. Little Miss was disappointed because she and her friends had planned to jump in the bouncy house before the fireworks, but after her odd day, she was actually very tired. In the end, I don’t think she minded going back home.

On the way home, Dad started feeling better (after drinking a bottle of Gatorade) and we also saw four deer either standing very close to the road or in fields on four different occasions. The first deer, a doe, was standing on our side of the road, right on the edge, turned toward us and watching us as we drove by slowly (because I was honestly afraid she was going to jump out in front of us).

The second deer was in a wooded area with another deer laying next to her. I didn’t see the deer laying next to her, but Little Miss did. The third deer was a young buck, standing in a field close to the road. Little Miss didn’t see the buck so we actually circled around so we could show him to her and he was still there, chewing while he watched us. He had very short antlers, with one of them deformed. He was obviously a very young buck because he still had velvet on his short antlers. I wish I had been able to take a photograph of him, but I was driving and we were in the middle of a highway and I wasn’t sure when a car might come up behind us.

The fourth deer was running in a field, but also close to the road. The Boy also said he saw three wild turkeys while we were driving, but the rest of us missed those.

After my dad was back home, I called my brother to tell him about Dad. As if the incidents with Dad and Little Miss weren’t enough, while we were talking my brother’s nose started bleeding. I said a prayer over our family because it was starting to feel like a demonic attack!

What was odd about all the medical stuff happening to my family members is that I’m the one who usually has some weird medical episode when we go to an event or try to do something special. This time I was feeling fairly good and was actually very calm when Little Miss fainted and when my dad started to feel a little off. I’m going to say that the peace came both from praying and from the very small amount of CBD I started taking daily a couple of weeks ago.

Since we missed going to the carnival Friday night, I had to take another trip to it yesterday so Little Miss could jump in the bouncy house. It’s the only thing she’s asked to do recently and after watching her faint and fall into the fridge Friday, I wanted to let her have as much fun as possible.

Luckily her little friends were there then too so they were able to have fun together. The Boy’s two friends came as well so it was a nice day for the kids.

I’m hoping for a little bit of a more relaxed week this week, but there is a local VBS going on so…who knows what will happen. At least most of the stuff we did last week was fun (other than the fainting and almost fainting episodes). I think this is one of the longer “What’s Been Occurring” sections I’ve ever shared and, actually, I’m hoping future sections are much shorter. I’m tired, ya’ll.

What I’m Reading

Last night I finally finished Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain. I think I’ve been reading it two months or so, and to explain, it was not boring, it was simply a book full of a lot of a lot of technical kitchen and restauranter lingo and stories, which was sometimes overwhelming. I was also reading a couple of books for book tours while reading it, which delayed me finishing it. I am going to write a longe post about my impressions of it later this week.

I am still enjoying a leisurely read of Anne of the Island. I pick it up during more depressing or tough moments and read a chapter or two. I’m not in any hurry to finish it.

Last week I also started The Do Over by Bethany Turner. It is a romantic comedy and so far, I am enjoying it. I will most likely concentrate on it this week and maybe even finish it.

I hope to start one of the Dortmunder novels by Donald Westlake next week.

What I’m/We’re Watching/Watched

I mentioned already above, and in a separate blog post earlier in the week, that I watched Top Gun: Maverick. I presented my spoiler free impression of it HERE.

Later in the week, The Boy and I watched Jaws for fun. I had only seen parts of it in the past. We actually enjoyed it.

I started Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, but I wasn’t able to finish it before my rental ran out on Amazon so hope to watch it Monday or Tuesday.

The Husband and I watched a Brokenwood Mysteries one night, but he was busy all week with either work, play practice, or volunteering at the carnival.

We hope to watch Family Camp for our family movie next week since we ran out of time this week.

What I’m Writing

Last week I worked quite a bit on The Shores of Mercy.

On the blog I shared:

Now It’s Your Turn

Your turn! What have you been doing, reading, watching, or listening to recently? Let me know in the comments.

Fiction Friday: Mercy’s Shore Chapter 9

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn fiction, Fiction Friday3 Comments

This is a continuing/serial story. I share a chapter a week and at the end of the story, and after I edit and rewrite, I self-publish it. To catch up with the story click HERE. To read the rest of the books in this series click HERE.

Chapter 9


Judi smoothed a finger across her lower lip, smoothing in the dark red lipstick she’d applied a few minutes earlier. She studied herself in the mirror on the visor and took a deep breath. Glancing down at her white button-up shirt and gray pencil skirt and a pair of sensible black flats, she grimaced. What had she become? She pushed a strand of hair that had fallen from the messy bun she’d pulled her hair into behind her ear and slid a pair of sunglasses on then made a face at her reflection.

“I’ve become Ellie. That’s who I’ve become.” She sighed and rolled her eyes before she opened and reached for the door handle. “Good grief. I’m my sister.”

 Fine, she was dressed like her sister and acting way more strait-laced than she had in the past, but she’d wanted a change, so this was a change. She’d wanted to leave her old life behind and working for a well-known local lawyer was one way to do that. It was time for her to grow up and if she had to look like a spinster librarian to do it, so be it.

She smoothed her hands down her skirt and squinted at her reflection in the large front window between the stenciled words, Benjamin A. Oliver, Attorney at Law.

She’d called Ben a couple of days after he’d offered the job to her and accepted it, even though she couldn’t imagine what he had been thinking when he’d offered it to her. She also wasn’t sure what she’d been thinking accepting it, considering she’d now have to wake up super early on the days she worked here.

She squinted at her reflection in the front window, wishing she had grabbed that suit coat Ellie had offered her. It would have made her at least look professional. She smoothed her hands down the front of the skirt again. At least it was cute.

Walking inside, she was surprised at how well-decorated Ben’s office was. She’d been expecting something much drabber and a lot less eye-catching.

Instead of boring, dull-colored paintings of landscapes on the wall, though, he’d hung colorful paintings of life in the city in the 1950s, including what looked like a scene at a jazz club. Three dark brown, leather-bound, chairs with top-grain, soft cushions lined the walls in the lobby. She could easily curl up one of those and take a nap. Also in the lobby area was a tall gray desk with a high wall at the front of it and a counter on top of the wall. She wondered if that was where the secretary — er she — would be sitting.

A few feet behind the desk a door opened to a white-walled office with a large window and mahogany-colored desk. A black, leather-plush chair sat behind the desk, and behind the chair a wall full of what were probably law books lined built-in bookshelves. Ben peered from around the open door and the clink of a filing cabinet door shutting made Judi flinch.

 He stepped fully into the doorway wearing a light blue button-up dress shirt and a red tie, dark dress pants, and dress shoes. “You made it. Great.”

Apparently, he’d thought she wasn’t going to show up. His instincts had been right. She almost hadn’t.

Even now she felt sick to her stomach. What had she been thinking? She didn’t have a clue how to be a secretary at a law office.

He didn’t pause in the doorway but kept moving toward the desk at the front with a smile she was sure charmed the pants off more than a few women he’d met over the years — maybe even literally.

 He gestured toward the chair behind the desk. “This is where you’ll be sitting most of the time unless I need you to come into the office to take some notes for me.” He propped his hands on the back of the chair and leaned on it. “You do know how to take notes, right?”

With a quick smile, she did her best to be truthful. “Not exactly, but it can’t be that hard, right?”

Ben’s smile flickered for a brief moment before it returned. “Right. It’s not that hard to learn.”

Her gaze moved across the neat desk with a computer and photos of an older woman with what Judi guessed was the woman’s husband and adult children. To the left of the desk, behind the tall partition, stood a row of filing cabinets. Ben explained how to use the phone, what the filing cabinets were for, and how to use the electronic appointment book before telling her that he’d show her how to file cases in the cabinets later.

“Did you want to take any notes?” he asked after he’d reached what she hoped was his last lesson for the day.

“Notes?” Her brow dipped in confusion. “Do you need me to take notes for you now?”

“No.” He shook his head briefly. “I mean for yourself. So you’ll remember what I just told you.”

“Why?” She was genuinely confused. “Aren’t you going to be here? I can just ask you if I have a question, can’t I?”

Ben sighed. “Yes, you can, but if I am on the phone or can’t help you for some other reason then . . .” His voice trailed off as he looked at her. “Never mind. That’s fine. You’re right. I’ll be back in the office if you need me.”

He walked to a coffee pot set up on a small counter next to the soft chairs. “I’ve been making the coffee when I come in, but if you’d make that each morning it would help me out. I haven’t booked a ton of clients today because I’ve got court in the morning, and I need to prepare for that. From ten to eleven I have a video conference with a client downstate who is in the middle of a divorce, so I don’t want to be interrupted. Lunch is from noon to one, but I’ll need you back five minutes early today because I have an appointment at one with a new client who has filed a defamation complaint against the newspaper in the next county.” He shrugged a shoulder. “He’s going to lose the case, but he’s persistent so I said I’d take it on. He’s got a lot of money.”

He took a long drink of the coffee then stood with the mug in one hand and the other hand propped on his hip. “Any questions for me?”

“Just if you always talk this fast.”

Ben laughed. “Most of the time, yes. I’m one guy and I have a lot of clients, so I can’t afford to take my time.”

He walked into his office and closed the door, leaving Judi alone with a quiet lobby area and a phone that should have been simple but was severely intimidating her at the moment. What button had he said to push again when she needed to transfer a call? She hoped it would come to her when she needed to actually do it. He’d probably been right to suggest she take notes.

Her phone rang while she was making herself a cup of coffee. Walking back to the desk to retrieve it from her purse, she decided she’d better leave a reminder in her notes app to pick up some flavored creamer. Ben’s coffee was as boring and plain as he was.

She looked at the lock screen. The number was the one from New York again. She needed to tell this guy she was not interested in anything to do with Jeff.

“Miss Lambert?” a man’s voice asked as she answered.

“Listen, if this is that lawyer, I’m not interested in talking about anything that has to do with Jeff Burke, so please stop calling me. Thank you.”

“Miss Lambert, wait. Please. Just hear me out.”

“I’m not inter—”

The lawyer spoke quickly. “I think Jeff Burke tried to do to you what he actually succeeded in doing to my client and I am asking if you would be willing to testify at her trial to prove that this is a pattern with him.”

Judi’s mouth went dry, and she sat hard in the chair as if the wind had been knocked out of her. Her throat tightened and her heart fluttered inside her chest.

“Miss Lambert? Are you still there?”

A chill shivered across her skin as she swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

“I know it would be hard to talk about what happened or almost happened, but we know, or at least we feel, that there are other victims. The more women we have who can say Jeff did this to them, the more chance we have at convincing a jury he needs to be put away for a long time so he can’t do it to anyone else.”

Judi rubbed her hand along her arm. “How did you even find me?”

“Your former roommate. Seline.”

Judi’s throat tightened more. “Did he —”

“No,” the attorney said. “But she knows the other woman. She’s a co-worker of Seline’s. Seline said you didn’t want to press charges because nothing happened that night and I understand, but Miss Lambert this is a chance to stop Jeff from doing this to other women. Will you at least think about it?”

Judi cleared her throat and took a sip of her coffee. “Yeah, I’ll think about it.”

She slid her finger over the end button and dropped the phone back into her purse. When the office phone rang a few minutes later she literally jumped in her chair, the ringing pulling her from her thoughts.

“Hello?”

“Um, hello.” The male voice on the other end of the phone was hesitant. “Is this Ben Oliver’s office?”

Oh great. She forgot the greeting already.

“Oh yes. Sorry. Hello. Attorney Ben Oliver’s Office.”

“Oh. Okay, well, may I speak to him?”

“May I ask who is calling?”

“Yes. This is Adam Phillipi.”

Judi pursed her lips. Ooh boy. Phillipi. This was someone connected with Angie. This should be interesting. She wished she could listen in.

“Just a minute, please.”

She bit her lower lip and searched for the hold button. After pushing it she tried to remember what buttons she needed to push to transfer the call. Was it 22 star or star 22? Or was it — She pushed the buttons she thought were the right ones and set the phone back in the cradle, bumping the speaker button as she moved her hand away.

“Adam, hey, did you get the check I sent?” Ben asked through the speaker.

Her finger hovered over the speaker button. If she pushed it, would there be a click and if there was a click, would Ben think she’d been listening in on purpose, instead of by accident?

“Yeah, Ben, I did,” Adam responded. “That was very nice. Thank you. The thing is though, Leona and I were hoping you’d also be able to make the birthday party.”

Ben winced. “Oh, I’d love to, Adam, but, unfortunately, I was in a car accident a month ago and I’m still recovering from a concussion. The doctor hasn’t cleared me to drive yet.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Adam said. “Then, I understand why you can’t make it. That’s a shame, though. Leona and I had hoped to see you in person and discuss a couple of things with you.”

“Well, I’m here now, if you’d like to discuss anything.” Judi heard the strain in Ben’s voice as a twinge of guilt pulled at her.

She shouldn’t be listening to this conversation. But if she pushed the speaker button — Forget it. She had to take a chance that it would beep because explaining that she had listened into his entire personal conversation would be even harder than explaining she wasn’t sure if pushing the button again would be disruptive to the conversation.

She tapped the button and let out a long breath, bracing herself for him storming out of his office to ask if she had been listening in. After a few seconds, with no shouting coming from his office, she decided she must be in the clear. Her eyes slid over the desk in front of her again. Now what? Ben hadn’t told her what else to do yet. She shrugged her shoulder and pulled out her nail file. It was as good of a time as any to shape her nails before her pedicure in a couple of days. It would at least give her something to think about other than the call from that lawyer.

Sunday Bookends (on Monday): Good music, scary or depressing movies, books about chefs and summer activities

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings, Sunday Bookends7 Comments


Welcome to Sunday Bookends where I ramble about what I’ve been reading, doing, watching, writing, and listening to.

I didn’t finish this in time for a Sunday posting, which is why it’s being posted on Monday instead. Obviously. *wink*


What I/we’ve Been Reading

I have been reading but quite slowly. I was rotating between three books and I still haven’t finished one of them so this week I am going to focus on Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain and when that is finished I am going to finish The Heart of the Mountain by  Pepper Basham and then I will go back to Anne of the Island from the Anne of Green Gables series.  The Heart of the Mountain is the first book I’ve read by Basham and I am enjoying it. So far it’s not a cliché Christian fiction romance and I am grateful for that. It releases on July 1.

A description for those who are curious about it:

Can True Love Weather a World of Differences?

To escape marriage, Cora Taylor runs away from her home in England to join her brother in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina, but not even her time as a nurse in the Great War prepares her for the hard landscape and even harder lives of the mountain people. With the help of Jeb McAdams, a quiet woodcarver, who carries his own battle scars, she fashions a place for herself among these unique people. But the past refuses to let go, and with dangers from within and without, can hearts bruised by war find healing within the wilds of the mountains?

Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly is the book that blew Bourdain into stardom and details his journey working at the lowest levels in kitchens up to the big time. If you don’t know who Bourdain is, then you really missed out (though you didn’t miss out on his potty mouth. *wink* He was known to be a bit crass, crude, and rude at times, but he was also a brilliant writer and food connoisseur. So warning: there is swearing in this book but not constant swearing ).

 He was a chef who became famous when he traveled the world for the Travel Channel tasting and discussing food from countries all over the world, all while giving the viewers a bit of history and culture lessons during each episode.

A description of Kitchen Confidential for the curious:

Anthony Bourdain, host of Parts Unknown, reveals “twenty-five years of sex, drugs, bad behavior and haute cuisine” in his breakout New York Times bestseller Kitchen Confidential.

Bourdain spares no one’s appetite when he told all about what happens behind the kitchen door. Bourdain uses the same “take-no-prisoners” attitude in his deliciously funny and shockingly delectable book, sure to delight gourmands and philistines alike. From Bourdain’s first oyster in the Gironde, to his lowly position as dishwasher in a honky tonk fish restaurant in Provincetown (where he witnesses for the first time the real delights of being a chef); from the kitchen of the Rainbow Room atop Rockefeller Center, to drug dealers in the east village, from Tokyo to Paris and back to New York again, Bourdain’s tales of the kitchen are as passionate as they are unpredictable.

Kitchen Confidential will make your mouth water while your belly aches with laughter. You’ll beg the chef for more, please.

Bourdain committed suicide in 2018. My family and I had been watching his show for years. When we heard the news it was like losing a friend. A foul-mouthed, jokester, who loved life so much you couldn’t believe he’d choose to end it type of friend. Many of his shows are available on a variety of streaming services and I highly recommend them. If you are sensitive to seeing animals killed or hearing course language, maybe avoid them, but neither of those items are consistently present in his earlier shows and are present more, but still not constant, on his show that ran on CNN a few years before he passed away.

This is my first time reading a book by him. It is the first of several he wrote, including a couple novels.

The Husband is reading Fade Away by Harlan Coben.



What’s Been Occurring

Little Miss has been excited to jump on our neighbor’s trampoline but has been sorely disappointed that Mom and Dad won’t jump with her. Big brother isn’t that interested either and her friends from Texas are now gone home so she had to be content with jumping for us instead of with us.

We spent a few nights last week up the hill on the trampoline, me reading a book or watching her while she jumped.

Our roses are still blooming which has been so exciting for me. I can’t remember if they bloomed this long last year or not and I figure we will lose most of them this week or next so I am simply enjoying them while I can.

The Husband is on vacation this week, but we don’t have any big plans. We are going to visit a couple of local state parks and hopefully go on a train ride near us and spend time with my parents.

Yesterday we kicked off The Husband’s week with a cookout with my parents and jumped in the pool for the first time after my son and dad worked hard to clean it out.

What We watched/are Watching

I watched a rerun of the K-Love Fan Awards early in the week.

The link to the entire show can be found here:

My favorite performances included:

TobyMac Promised Land (made even more powerful to me since Toby lost his son to suicide two years ago)

Phil Wickham House of the Lord (such a fun and worshipful performance. He’s fairly new to me as of this year, but I’m enjoying his music):

CeCe Winans and Lauren Daigle, I Believe For It (two Christian powerhouse singers):

Katy Nicole, In Jesus Name (God of Possible). This one just broke me down pretty hard for various reasons. It was the first time I heard it. Powerful stuff.

I also loved when Matthew West won for best male vocalist of the year. You can tell he had no idea. He was floored, emotional, and he just deserved it. I love following him on social media, his music and listening to his podcast. He’s just a sweet man and we need to be praying for his heart and that he can continue to impact the world for Christ.

This week I watched Streetcar Named Desire for the first time at the suggestion of Erin from Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs. She and I will be watching classic movies we suggest for each other this summer. I have been rubbing my hands together at this prospect because I am a huge fan of classic, or old, movies. I love picking out movies I enjoyed to share with others and I also love to receive suggestions from others.

I will give you my impression of Streetcar on Wednesday. I suggested Double Indemnity for Erin and she will be sharing her impressions of that movie on Wednesday as well.

Also this week I watched A Quite Place with The Boy, a movie I told him I would not watch because I hate horror-type movies. I finally caved in when Little Miss and The Husband had a day out on Saturday. It turns out this movie was different than other “horror” movies and was more of a psychological thriller. I was very impressed and enjoyed the storytelling of it. The Boy and I both feel that the movie should have stood for itself and there was no need for A Quiet Place 2 but The Boy, who has already seen that movie as well, said that he actually enjoyed A Quiet Place 2 and jumped more during that movie than the first one. I told The Boy I would watch the second movie with him sometime soon. The key for movies like these are finding a time Little Miss won’t be in the room with us. Obviously, I’m not letting her watch these types of movies with us at the tender age of seven.


The Husband and I finished Why Didn’t They Ask Evans, which was a three-part miniseries based on an Agatha Christie book and directed by Hugh Laurie. It was very good. I would have liked some more Emma Thompson, but you can’t have everything.


What I’m Writing

I’ve been working some on The Shores of Mercy and hope to be more strict about carving out writing times to work on it next week.

I shared two posts on the blog this week in addition to Chapter 8 of The Shores of Mercy (which is being called Mercy’s Shore on here):


Now it’s your turn

Now it’s your turn. What have you been doing, watching, reading, listening to or writing? Let me know in the comments or leave a blog post link if you also write a weekly update like this.