10 on 10 for July | Owego NY Photographer
The month of June was so busy I felt like I was spun in 20 different directions. I was and am grateful for the slow down times, the times when the kids and I can just explore and enjoy our time together, whether it is at a local creek or simply in our backyard. Of course I enjoy when my husband can be there as well but in the late afternoon and evening it is usually just the children and I while my husband is at work.
We spent one day exploring an almost bare creek bed and another making mud in the yard. Sometimes I feel like I have to entertain my children every day, but I know that’s ridiculous because when I was growing up my parents sent me outside and told me to figure out some way to entertain myself. Of course, we lived in the middle of the nowhere so that involved climbing trees or digging in dirt or walking my Barbies through the yard. My family lives in town now so I’m less interested than sending my children out on their own to “figure it out,” but there are days I still encourage them to find an activity that will entertain and doesn’t need to be hooked to wifi.
Today’s post is part of a blog circle with a group of cool ladies from The Bloom Forum. To continue the circle, click on Madalyn Rael Photography and find out what she’s been up to the last month and, of course, see some gorgeous images as you continue around the circle of photography blogs.
Four on Four | Ithaca NY Child Photographer
We have been enjoying the summer, taking things as the come and that has included playing in the puddles after a rain storm moved through recently.
Somehow my daughter ended up without clothes at one point, but, well, that’s what living life as a toddler is all about, right?
This post is part of a Four on Four blog circle through Clickin’ Moms. This is the time of the month when we choose four photos from either an event or simply taken in the previous month and then share them.
Enjoy other photographer’s work by following the circle. Next up is Chrissy Mazer
Find my work at http://www.lisahoweler.com
Muddy
She likes the mud. A lot.
This is my first blog post for the 99 days of blogging with Melissa Firman.
It’s a simply post but I think the photos say it all. Go play in a mud puddle today. I did. My shoes are ruined, but my heart is light.
Hey, I got the shot. That’s what matters.
My toddler loves her some mud puddles so after a rain storm Friday I took her out to find the one small mud puddle that forms in our stone driveway and let her get as messy as she wanted. In the process, while laying on the ground to get what I thought would be a cool shot, I ended up with a streak of mud right across my chest. I was so focused on capturing her enjoying the mud and water I didn’t rush to change and instead followed her into the backyard where her slide is to let her play some more.
That is when the new neighbor brought her daughter-in-law out to meet me, in all my muddy glory. My daughter was in her muddy glory too, complete with a very brown bottom.
But, what was really important for this photographer is that, yes, I got the shot.
I wish I was a better mother
I wish I was better at being a mom.
I wish I didn’t cry like a toddler when my toddler won’t nap on the one day I really needed one myself.
I wish I didn’t let curse words fly out when she won’t sleep and when I know better and when I’m supposed to be that good Christian who never makes a mistake.
I wish I didn’t get grumpy on the days she gets grumpy.
I wish I didn’t get aggravated beyond belief when my 9 year old stares at me blank when I ask him why he didn’t brush his teeth last night or why he isn’t eating his dinner or why he’s playing Minecraft when I told him to do his homework.
I wish I was the mom from the books and the movies and the TV shows who pulls her children on her lap every single time they have a break down and hugs them and tells them it’s OK if they cry, mama doesn’t mind not getting sleep or not getting a break or never eating a warm meal.
If I was that mom then I wouldn’t feel so guilty. If I was that mom then I wouldn’t have to cry instead of nap when the toddler finally does fall asleep. If I was that mom I wouldn’t sit and wonder if some day my kids are going to tell all their friends about all the mistakes I make and all their friends are going to feel bad for them because their moms never do that stuff.
Some days it is just flat out exhausting wishing to be someone different so you can be better for your kids.
This is the part of the post I should write something encouraging and uplifting about how all you can do is try, but today I’m not feeling it. I’m just feeling the discouragement, the failure and the sadness at all the motherhood missteps I made.
Woe is me, the temporarily wallowing in her misery mom, who I guess, needs to remind herself if she wasn’t at least a somewhat good mom then none of this would bother her.
The week in focus | Elmira NY Child Photographer
Last week we had a mix of nice and rainy days but Little Miss didn’t care what the weather was because she rain outside to slide on her new slide no matter what the sky was spitting.
It’s a inexpensive slide meant for toddlers but even her brother found a way to have fun with it, by leaping off it and attempting 360 turns in mid-air.
It doesn’t matter the height of the slide, Little Miss, who isn’t even 2 loves them and finds a way to get to the top and slide straight down to the bottom.
We visited a playground last week that had three different size slides. She was in toddler heaven, running back and forth to each one. She has no fear, climbing up a ladder to the top of the one playground set that had even me a little nervous to climb.
If she’s this much of a daredevil at 19 months, I have no ideawhat the age of 2 will hold!
Toddlers, books and motherhood
My house was a mess and my photos were remaining unedited, which was driving me crazy. Little Miss wanted to sit in my lap and have me read to her, the first time ever. I sat in the middle of that mess and read to her after feeling frustrated and annoyed only 15 minutes before,
For most of the night she was clinging to me and whining and crying and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong but I knew I wanted to fold the laundry and clean the upstairs sink and she wasn’t letting me. My oldest had forgot a book at school that he needed for an important project and a long weekend was ahead of us, cutting down the time to get his project done. I was getting mad and frustrated and flat out ticked. I felt overwhelmed and inadequate as a mom and a housekeeper and I threw toys out of my way as I tried to clean up the potato chips Little Miss had stomped into the floor.
It seems like each time I try to accomplish a project a toddler cries or falls off something, a child needs a drink, or an animal throws up. Hours later my husband comes home from work and finds none of the projects I claimed I could complete done.
More and more I am realizing I need to stop expecting myself to be super mom. I am never going to be the mom I expect myself to be. I’m most likely never going to be like Donna Reed, cooking a perfect meal, helping the children with their homework, kidding my husband and cleaning the kitchen floor at the same time. I’m never going to be that mom who sweetly smiles at her child even when he forgets an important book after he was specially told the book was needed and then says “oh well! Let’s go make some lemonade out of these lemons!” I’m most likely always going to be the mom who swallows her annoyance and says tightly “we will figure this out …. Somehow.”
But maybe I will be the mom who sits in the middle of the upstairs hallway, in the middle of her mess, and lets the toddler crawl on her lap and lift her first library book up to be read again and again because that matters more than clean upstairs sinks.
