Category: personal musings

+ personal musings, Storytelling Photography

The star

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They carried the star up the steep, snow covered hill because the truck’s tires spun and sent the hunk of metal skittering sideways toward the old dirt road. In the end they left the truck in the field and slid the star, made of wood and strands of Christmas lights off the roof. Their breath steamed patterns out in front of them as they … Read More The star

+ keeping it real, personal musings

Time with Grandpa | Athens, PA Photographer

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The weekends are often reserved for time with my parents and sometimes my dad takes the kids out to help him with chores.  This weekend he wanted to dig up gladiolus bulbs from this summer so he can use them again to plant in his garden next year. My youngest was determined to use the clippers to cut the bulbs off, which was making … Read More Time with Grandpa | Athens, PA Photographer

+ personal musings, personal reflections

Pulling it into the light

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I have a photo of my daughter looking at an old, black and white photo of a couple and the woman in the photo is her namesake. The woman is my great grandmother and I’ve heard some funny stories about her over the years but I wish I knew more. One story came from my mom who said great-grandma had once reached into a … Read More Pulling it into the light

+ personal musings, Writer Woes

I am going to be a writer today or what is really like to be a writer.

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I am going to be a writer today. I am going to write. I am going to make things happen. I am going to – wait for my computer to install updates for 15 minutes.  I am going to get breakfast.  I am going to notice the living room is a mess. I am going to pick up the living room. I am going … Read More I am going to be a writer today or what is really like to be a writer.

+ motherhood, personal musings, personal reflections

Stuffed animals need hugs too

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“Mama, wanna play with me? You wanna play with me?” Her pleas sounded more like a demand than a request and I knew if I said ‘no’ she would keep asking, demanding and continue to look heartbroken and crestfallen. Each day she follows me around with the same demand – I mean request – so I know the drill now and most days I’m … Read More Stuffed animals need hugs too

+ keeping it real, Money saving, personal musings

Money saving tips: Don’t be afraid to buy cheaper cuts of meat, your veggies whole

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Panic set in when money got tight this last year but after a lot of prayer I’ve been learning more about how to save money and reduce expenses. This learning is a long process that is coming in stages. Currently my money saving focus is on groceries and household items. Groceries is one of the biggest expenses for our family, and probably most families, … Read More Money saving tips: Don’t be afraid to buy cheaper cuts of meat, your veggies whole

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+ personal musings, personal reflections, raw, The joy of motherhood

The days are long

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It’s the end of a very long day and all I can think is: Did I pay attention to them enough today? Did I listen to them? Do they know I love them? Was I too distracted? Too strict? Too overwhelmed with other things that were not important? The answer to some of those questions are ‘no’ and some are ‘yes’ and my heart … Read More The days are long

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+ motherhood, parenting, personal musings

Real life parenting moments

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I’m in the kitchen trying to perfect a Ree Drummond recipe but every few moments my oldest is shouting that the cat is on his Lego table knocking pieces off to smack around on the floor or the youngest is holding an empty bowl and asking me when she can have “port top” (pork chop). She’s looking up at me like a child from … Read More Real life parenting moments

+ personal musings, The joy of motherhood

Snow addiction | Athens, PA photographer

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She’s addicted to the snow. Last year we hardly had any snow and the temperatures were in the 70s and 80s. This year the snow has fallen much more and when my toddler sees it’s on the ground she  immediately says “Snow! Snow! Outtide!” and grabs her coat and gloves. I’m not a fan of the cold and snow but I oblige and take … Read More Snow addiction | Athens, PA photographer

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I’ve written a lot on social media or my blog that what I like to do is photograph moments, not poses. So what are moments anyhow? What do I mean by moments? You know when your son sits on your lap, even when he’s been asked to, and sometimes, even though at first he didn’t want to sit there, he looks up at you and you look down, or over, at him and then suddenly you both smile, maybe because you feel a bit stupid just looking at each other? Then you start laughing and shrugging your shoulders at the silliness of it all? That’s a moment. You know when your daughter says, “daddy, can I have a shoulder ride?” and you pick her up and set her on your shoulder because you know that one day she’ll be too big to do that? That’s a moment. You know when your family is at the playground and your son yells “higher mommy!!” And so you push him higher and higher and he laughs as the wind whooshes by him on his way up and down. That’s a moment. You know when your spouse catches you rolling your eyes at something she or he has said and then grins and tries to tell you he or she was just kidding? That’s a moment. Or how about when your cutting up your child’s pancakes for them? Or walking them to school? Or rocking them to sleep? Or comforting them when they’re hurt? All moments. Or what about when your elderly mother looks at you from across the table and she smiles because you’ve become the person she always knew you would be and she couldn’t be more proud. Moments. Seconds frozen in time by the click of a shutter. Images that when you look at them will transport you to a feeling. Smell. Taste. Place. Person. Home. That’s what I mean by capturing moments not poses. Because with poses you stop, you smile and you become someone else but in moments you never lose sight of who you really are.
“I’m hungry.” It’s not what she said that drove me crazy, it’s when she said it. It was midnight. . Bedtime had been stretched out insanely long for months now, something I hope to remedy soon, and my last straw was being asked to get a snack at midnight. . By a 3-year old. By my 3-year old. . Right then I acted like a very mature, 40-year old woman and flounced out of the room and told her if she wanted a snack she could go get one BY HERSELF!!!. I was done with dealing with hungry toddlers whining at me in the middle of the night. I shut the bathroom door and pouted in the dark for maybe two minutes before she opened the door and I remembered we still hadn’t got a lock for that blasted door. . She was whimpering at me in the dark and looking pitiful and of course I felt even more guilty about it all so I led her to my room where I knew there was one of those applesauce squeezable packs, tucked away in my purse in those days we are out somewhere and she says she’s hungry. I gave it to her, reminding myself she’s a little girl and she can’t help it if she gets hungry at midnight. Even I get hungry at midnight sometimes. . It also wasn’t her fault that her mom hadn’t stopped her and her brother’s playing and told them it was time for bed much earlier in the evening than I had. . I took her to bed, telling her I loved her, and then I laid in the dark after she was asleep and felt guilty for yelling at her and her brother right at bedtime. I kissed her head so many times I’m surprised I didn’t wake her. . Being a parent is hard. Harder than I ever imagined. We all have tough days and boy do we blow it sometimes. Even when we blow it we love them and they love us. We all make mistakes and fall right on our faces in this parenting journey. . Maybe you feel you have failed this week too. You’re not alone. What makes you a good parent is recognizing you’re not perfect, apologizing when you need to, and not being afraid to admit your mistakes. When our children know we can admit when we’ve made a mistake then they know that mistakes are always going to be made but we can always learn how to improve from them.
Little girls in dresses, boys in bike helmets and puppies tugging on clothes to get attention. That’s what these days are made of. #documentarycaptured #documentary #storytellingmama
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