A Christmas in Spencer: Beyond the Season, Chapter 2

Welcome to the second chapter of a twelve-chapter story I am sharing on the blog. This is being shared with minimal editing, just for fun, but will be fully edited once it is complete.

If you would like to read more about the characters in this story, you can find full-length novels on Amazon for purchase or on Kindle Unlimited HERE,

The first three chapters of the first book, The Farmer’s Daughter, can be found HERE.

Once all the chapters have been shared here, I’ll be providing a free Book Funnel link to blog readers and placing the story on Amazon for 99 cents.

Chapter 2

“You ready to learn how to paint a vehicle the right way, Mr. Stone?”

Alex winced and made a face. “Yes, as long as you stop calling me Mr. Stone. It makes me think of my dad and I’m nothing like him.”

Burt laughed and pounded his hand on Alex’s back. “Okay, then, Alex, let’s get started. The first thing we have to do is sand the paint off this old truck and get it ready for a new coat.”

“So, we can make it look new but what about the engine? Are we going to be able to save it?”

Burt’s smile faded briefly. “Save it, no. Replace it, I hope so.  The biggest issue is finding a new engine for a truck this old. It’s definitely testing my scavenger-hunting skills right now.”

Alex rubbed his chin, nervous energy buzzing through him. “Let’s at least get the paint job started. Maybe we can set it up somewhere as a display if nothing else.”

Burt retrieved a large box of supplies from the other side of his garage and carried it to the truck, setting it down at Alex’s feet. “Tell me something. Is there anything else you plan to do along with presenting her with a newly refurbished truck?”

Alex laughed. “What, spending half my savings on fixing up her grandpa’s truck isn’t a big enough Christmas gift?”

Burt’s eyes glistened mischievously. “I’m not saying that, but, I mean – will you, possibly, be planning to present her with — ” He raised his hand and tapped his wedding band on his ring finger. “A lovely piece of jewelry?”

Warmth rushed from Alex’s chest up into his face. He choked on the coffee he’d been sipping and continued to cough for several seconds.

Burt’s laughter echoed off the high ceilings of the garage. “I’m guessing the answer to that question is a big no.”

Alex worked to recover, wiping a hand across his mouth. “I hadn’t really – I mean, that wasn’t part of the plan right now, no.”

Burt reached into the box for the sander. “My niece is a sweet young lady, Alex. Don’t let her slip away.”

Alex shook his head. “No, sir. I don’t intend to.”

Burt straightened and winked. “Then you might want to think about securing her long-term presence in your life with a ring. A fancy one. With a gold band and a diamond.”

Alex took a deep breath and let it out again. “No pressure or anything, though, right?”

Burt pushed a sander into his chest. “None at all. Now let’s get to work on your first surprise. You can mull the possibility of the other one over for a bit, but don’t wait too long. You’re going to need some time to pick out the ring.”

Alex swallowed hard. This harassment was most likely some sort of cosmic payback for how he’d harassed Jason about his need to propose to Ellie a couple of years ago.

There was no denying he loved Molly. More than he’d ever loved anyone before. Marriage, though? He’d seen what happened to his parents. Marriage didn’t always mean happily ever after, and it was a reality that weighed heavy on him and made him hesitant to do the one thing he wanted to do but was too afraid to.

***

Robert shivered, pulling the door to the shed closed behind him. In front of him sat a pile of boards he needed to cut to size, sand down, and put together in the next six weeks.

To the right of the boards sat a broken porch swing, tilted on its side and propped up against a piece of old farm equipment. A rusted chain, broken in two places, had been draped over the back of it.

A faint smile tilted his mouth upward as he looked at the broken remains of the swing.

In his mind he was sitting on that same porch swing on Annie’s parents’ front porch, the setting sun casting light pink across her skin, transforming an ordinary evening into an extraordinary one. He’d leaned forward, his 18-year-old heart pounding out a high-speed rhythm as he tilted his head to press his lips gently to hers.

The kiss was innocent and brief, but it had sent a rush of energy skittering through his entire body. He had been wanting to do that for over a year and the fact he’d gathered up his courage to do so made him proud.

Her parents had been away at an adult fellowship at the church that night, and she’d stayed home with her younger sister, who had been inside coloring and watching a cartoon. She’d leaned back from the kiss and smiled, touching a hand to her cheek and then her fingertips to her lips. Then she’d shocked him and leaned in for another kiss that he had welcomed. What was as welcome was the sound of footsteps inside the house, the front screen door bursting open, and the teasing voice of Annie’s sister Brenda.

“Are you two kissing? Eewww! That is so gross and I am totally telling mom and dad!”

Removing the swing from the front porch ten years ago had been emotionally hard for Robert, but the chains had rusted out and the boards on the seat were splintering. He’d planned to repair the swing sooner, but time had gotten away from him and now most of the boards were in even worse shape. The entire swing would need to be replaced at this point, but it would be worth it to see her face light up 33 years after they’d first sat there together.

That’s if he could finish the project in between milking cows, running the farm, and helping his sister with the family farm store.

Keeping it a secret from Annie would be hard since she could read him so easily, always able to tell when he was hiding something, even something good.

Already this morning she’d asked him what he had planned for the day, where he’d be and if he needed any help. She’d been by his side since the day they’d married, a constant support, a partner in life as much as in marriage. Her protective nature had kicked into high gear after his accident and she’d quickly joined forces with his daughter and mother in frequently checking up on him, asking if he was too tired or needed her to tag along and lend a hand.

Right now, though, what he needed most was for her to check on him less. Otherwise, she’d find out the surprise before he could reveal it on Christmas.

He started at the sound of a phone ringing. Getting used to carrying one of those smartphones around and actually answering it had definitely been a challenge in the last year but if he didn’t answer it, family members came looking for him.

The caller ID told him someone was calling from Harper’s Hardware.

“Robert?”

“Yeah. Hey, Terry, got those bolts I ordered?”

Terry Harper let out a breath on the other end of the phone. “Wish I could say I did. I called the supplier again and it looks like those bolts are out of stock just about everywhere. There’s some kind of supply chain issue out west.”

“California, I’ll bet.”

“Probably, yeah.”

“You said you don’t have any other bolts in stock similar, though, right?”

“Right.” Terry sounded as disappointed as Robert. “Is there any other way you can complete your project without them?”

Robert shook his head, even though the owner of Harper’s Hardware couldn’t see him. “Unfortunately, no. Anything else won’t be sturdy enough for what I need it for.”

“What’s your deadline?”

“I’d like to have it done by Christmas Eve. Sooner if possible so I can install it.”

Terry huffed into the phone. “Hmmm. Well, I’ve got one other supplier I can try. I’ll give them a call and see what we can do.”

“Thanks, Terry. I really appreciate this.”

“Of course. You know I’d do anything to help you make Annie smile. She’s a good woman. She deserves the best.”

Robert smiled, looking at the pile of wood he hoped to transform into her gift. “Yes, she absolutely does.”

A beep in his ear alerted him he had another call. He thanked Terry again and said good-bye before answering his brother Walt’s call.

Like usual, Walt didn’t bother with a greeting. “We got a problem.”

“What’s up?”

“A fuse has blown on the freezers at the store. A whole row is out.”

Robert’s eyes widened. “A whole row of freezers?”

“Yes, and if we don’t get that product somewhere cold, we’re going to lose it. Has Benny Jenson still got that freezer truck?”

“I don’t know, but I’ll give him a call. I’ll get a hold of Jason and Alex and send them up ahead of me.”

“I’ve got Brad going too. We’ll need all hands on deck.”

Robert pondered the pile of wood and huffed out a brief sigh as he hung up.  He looked at the broken swing one more time before he closed the shed door and headed to his truck.

‘Tis the Season Cinema: Holiday Inn

Here we are, closing in on the end of our ‘Tis The Season Cinema and I can’t even believe it.  How is it already almost Christmas?

If this is your first time here, Erin from Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs, and Katja_137 From Breath of Hallelujah and I have been watching Christmas movies and sharing our impressions of them.

This week Holiday Inn was on our list and, well, I sort of regret this pick. I hadn’t watched it in years and forgot about some aspects of it that make me even more uncomfortable this time around than they did in the past.

But, well, it’s been watched and now I have to share my impressions, but before I do, I do want to mention that while I did not include any movies about the birth of Jesus in the list of movies for this feature, I do have a couple of movies along those lines I watch each year and recommend as well. I’ll try to get a list of those together for next week but for now, I will mention that The Chosen has an amazing Christmas special on their app, which you can download onto your phone and send to your TV. You can also watch it on Peacock. It is called The Messengers: Christmas with The Chosen. It features an hour and a half of music and then a Christmas short that director/writer Dallas Jenkins made for his church and depicts the birth of Christ through the view of a disabled shepherd who saw the star that night. It is beautifully done.

The short presentation is also available on YouTube, which I discovered just before I hit “schedule” on this post:



Okay. On to Holiday Inn.



We begin with three performers – two men and a woman. The men are Fred Astaire (Ted) and Bing Crosby (Jim). The woman is Virginia Dale (Lila) The woman is dating Bing but she’s fallen for Fred. Bing thinks she wants to retire with him to a farm in the country, but she breaks it to him that she no longer wants to be with him, or even retire, and instead plans to continue performing with Fred.

Ouch. Brutal start.

Well, that’s okay, because Bing wants to continue running his farm in the country and has decided to turn it into an inn.

In walks Linda (Marjorie Reynolds) who wants to break into show business and who Jim hires to sing for him at his new inn. The inn will only be open on holidays throughout the year, hence the name Holiday Inn.

Of course, it is cold and snowy at the inn and it’s getting close to Christmas in the first part of the movie, and this sets the stage for the first movie performance of White Christmas, which you might remember me mentioning when I wrote about watching the movie White Christmas a couple of weeks ago.

This movie was first, the song was sung, and 12 years later they made White Christmas, which, incidentally, was filmed on the same set as Holiday Inn. That’s why both movies have a similar feel even though they are supposed to be different characters and stories.

While there are similarities between the movies (a duo of male performers and two women love interests, who also sing or perform in some way) there are also differences, and not only in the plot. Holiday Inn was originally released in black and white and White Christmas was always in color. We own a DVD collection that features a black-and-white or color version of the movie, but I chose to stick with the original. I don’t enjoy when they colorize black and white movies, which is why I will never watch a color version of It’s A Wonderful Life either. I tried once. It just felt all kinds of wrong.

The collection we have also features a copy of the soundtrack on CD. There are 12 tracks, all written by Irving Berlin, who, of course, wrote the songs for the movie – specifically White Christmas.

As the movie continues, Fred walks back into Bing’s life and once again tries to steal his dance partner and his love interest, which creates all kinds of drama once again.

There is one regrettable scene in this movie that I wish was not there. The scene involves blackface and while I understand the purpose of it in the plot of the movie (to hide a character from another character), blackface should never be used as a plot point or anything else. It’s offensive and rude. Still, I hate to see an entire movie tossed out over one scene. The song they sing does talk about how wonderful Abraham Lincoln was for freeing the slaves, but the way they do it – grooooan.

There are African American actors in the movie, and they participate in the blackface scene, also singing praises of Abraham Lincoln. So, what does that mean? I have no idea, other than there are no black actors playing main parts. They are servants and used for humor plot points for part of the movie and while they aren’t mocked or mistreated, it still makes me uncomfortable.

If I had to pick a favorite Christmas movie, it wouldn’t be this one, probably based partially on that scene. It was so cringe and it had been years since I saw it and forgot how bad it was. Incidentally, if you have ever watched this movie on ACM, they deleted the blackface scene and don’t have it in the showing they run each year. I also wouldn’t pick this one as a favorite because it’s not really focused on Christmas, other than Bing singing White Christmas.

If I had to pick a favorite Fred Astaire dance, though, it would be the firecracker one in this movie. It is insane and one of the coolest dances I’ve seen in a classic movie.

According to IMBD, “The firecracker dance sequence was added to the movie as a patriotic number, following the attack on Pearl Harbor, which took place during filming. The dance number required three days of rehearsal and took two days to film.  Fred Astaire did 38 takes of the number before he was satisfied with it. The crew members had to wear goggles during filming, because the sand from the firecrackers flew into their faces. Also, animation was added to make the firecracker “blasts” more dramatic. Later, Astaire’s shoes for the dance were auctioned off for $116,000 worth of war bonds.”

It is such a horrible shame that the dance sequence was put in a movie with an offensive blackface scene.



I apologized to Erin for suggesting this movie, telling her I really had forgotten how bad the scene was, even though I knew it was there. If you do choose to watch this movie, please skip over the blackface scene and you’ll be better off.

Up next in our lineup of Christmas movies is It’s A Wonderful Life, which should be a lot less uncomfortable to watch.

To finish out the ‘Tis the Cinema’ feature we will be watching two children’s shows, Charlie Brown Christmas and Emmett Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas. I am hoping those two will be a lot more heartwarming.

Feel free to join in with us in watching the next film and shows and blogging about them. We share our blog posts on Thursdays unless life gets in the way and we have to change the day.

To catch up on Erin’s impression of the movie check out her blog. You can also check out Katja’s on her blog.

A Chat and A Cup of Something Warm

(Author’s note: I wrote this to post this morning but wanted to read over it again and my day got crazy with car issues, grocery shopping, etc. so I am posting it in the evening. Update again: I posted this at 7:40 at night and it never published. So, then I hit publish again at 11:05. It will probably show up on Saturday morning at this point. Ha!)

Today is Friday and usually, I share a chapter from one of the stories I am working on for Fiction Friday, but I don’t have a story to share right now so I thought I’d share a ramble about life in general today.

As always, pour yourself a cup of something warm, pull up a chair, and sit and chat with me. If you have time, of course, since it is the Christmas season, and many people are very busy during this time of year.

We have been a little bit busy but not necessarily because of the holidays. There have been doctor’s appointments for family members, homeschool, and errands and The Husband has been working a lot. So, for now, our busy is simply with the every day. My brain doesn’t seem to be able to focus these days which means I don’t get as much done during the day, including reading blogs, which I am so behind on!

Later today I will need to go get groceries, an errand The Husband has been taking on because he’s been close to the store we usually go to – Aldi. I’m not really a fan of grocery shopping. It tires me out, which is silly since our list usually isn’t that large. I also have anxiety so I always worry I’ll have some medical issue in the store. Yeah, I know, I have issues. Ha.

I usually take the kids with me and we split the list. They run ahead and get what we need on the far side of the store while I take the side of the store closest to where we walk in. They also help me bag the groceries and get them into the car. I usually reward them with a quick trip to Wendy’s.

We then come home and I put away most of the groceries while they run off to be children and The Boy runs off to finish the school work he didn’t get done earlier in the week. They do help put the groceries away sometimes, but I don’t mind putting them away. I take my time and listen to a podcast or some music while I do it.

Grocery shopping does take a rather large chunk of time out of our day since we have to drive about 30 minutes north to get to the store and 30 minutes back and usually find we have to stop at a couple of other places along the way.

How about you? Do you like grocery shopping or dread it like me. Or do you place pickup orders, which we used to do when we lived closer to a Wal-Mart?

Right now, I am typing this sitting under a blanket with my daughter, in a very cozy living room lit only by the TV, Christmas tree lights and my neighbor’s beautiful Christmas display next door. I’m also listening to guitar worship music on my headphones because my daughter is watching a show that she’s watched over and over and I need a little break from it (even though the show is cute and funny).

Earlier today The Husband and The Boy drove my dad three hours south to a specialist appointment. The drive and visit went well. Part of me wouldn’t have minded the drive, just to get out of the house, but it was a long day and Little Miss probably wouldn’t have enjoyed the long ride. Instead, Little Miss and I went to visit my mom and have dinner with her.

After dinner, we played a round of Go Fish with Mom, talked with Dad a bit when he got home and then we headed home and enjoyed looking at our neighbor’s Christmas display. I called a woman in my online Bible group to check on her and we chatted for about 40 minutes. I don’t know her that well so when she suggested I call her I was a little nervous. I’m glad I did, though. She’s a fun woman who is going through a lot right now. She lost her mother a month ago, she has a serious health condition that is now affecting her heart, and her family has rejected her in a lot of ways. If you think of it, please say a prayer for her. If you need a name, just say Lisa’s friend “A from Texas” when praying. God will know who you’re praying for.

As I mentioned Sunday, I am working on a short story for the blog for around Christmas. It will feature the Tanners and Alex Stone and is probably going to be a little boring or silly, but even boring and silly can be a nice distraction when the world seems so heavy.

I’ve barely looked at the news lately as it all seems like some kind of weird farce. Nothing seems real, the news reports on half-truths, and politicians have absolutely lost their minds. They seem to be playing a game where they all pretend to battle each other, without admitting that they are all scam artists.

Instead of watching the news or listening to politicians, I have been trying to read, write, or watch light movies. I’ll ramble more about those things on Sunday in my weekly Sunday Bookends post.

I’m not doing very well with my morning devotionals. I have been trying to do one through You Version, which is a Bible app on my phone. The problem is that when I open it up, I get overwhelmed by everything they are shoving at me, and I don’t know where to look first. They offer a daily verse and a ton of devotional plans. I did choose one this week by Christine Caine, who I really like, but I really think that sometimes having tons of choices isn’t a good thing.

You ever log into a streaming service and just stare at all the offerings and think, “There’s too much! There’s too much! My brain is melting!”?

No? Just me?

I do the same thing when I walk into a bookstore, which happens maybe twice a year.

I want to buy a book but sometimes I am just too overwhelmed by the wall-to-wall bookshelves.

Growing up we had four TV channels and I hated it. I wanted more choices. Now I have them and I want less choices. I’m never happy.

I’m also someone who likes things to be way more simple than they are.

This week Little Miss wanted me to make a Christmas list for her and her dad. I did but I had to be honest, I’m pretty simple. Buy me a book, a blank journal that cost $5 or even less, and a pen and I’m pretty happy. I really don’t want a lot of gifts for Christmas. It’s nice, but I’m just as happy with a couple of gifts versus a ton.

It isn’t that I’m a perfect person who doesn’t crave material things. Of course, I do, but I’m also happy with simple things. You know, after I mourn not being able to afford the less simple things. *wink*

This weekend I am taking Little Miss to gymnastics and then we don’t much else on the schedule, thankfully. Next week I might be going with my dad to another doctor’s appointment, but this one will be much closer, and then Little Miss has a dentist appointment on Thursday about 45 minutes away.

I am looking forward to not having to leave the house too much since it appears the cold temperatures are here to stay.

So, how are you doing? Need a warm-up?

Since you’re not actually with me, I guess you’ll have to do the warming up and you can let me know how you are doing in the comment section below.

Remembering Miracles Can Happen

This is a bit of a follow-up to the Faithfully Thinking post I shared on Friday. I shared these couple of paragraphs on my Instagram account last week. I wrote a little more about this incident here on the blog last year.

Last year I was in a hospital room with a woman I didn’t think was going to make it through the night. Her oxygen kept dropping but despite what we were seeing in the news, every effort was being made to keep patients off ventilators. Her supplemental oxygen was increased but the numbers still kept dropping into the high 60s, low 70s and sometimes in the mid-80s. I knew all these numbers were bad. She and I had been able to talk some in between her throwing up and falling into deep sleep from the effects of the illness. A few times she even apologized to me for falling asleep, which was of course silly. The poor woman was fighting off a nasty illness and trying to breathe.

One night the nurses begged the woman to use a BiPAP. She tried but her breathing became even worse. The nurses left the room discouraged but not yet ready to rush her to ICU. Instead, they increased the supplemental oxygen to high flow and hoped it would work. They monitored her stats from the nurses’ station.

I stood and walked to her side of the room. Laying my hand on her shoulder I began to do something I very rarely do – pray out loud for her lungs and for her oxygen to come back up.

I didn’t know what to expect. Maybe it would just be comforting to my roommate if nothing else. In minutes, though, the numbers rose dramatically until her oxygen was at 98. I was floored and delighted. I broke down and went back to my bed to try to rest.

I left her there a couple days later, still worried I would later find out she died. When I called and asked to talk to her a week or so later, I was shocked to hear her voice, free of the oxygen mask, talking clearly and happy that she was going to be released the next day. Her lung did collapse after I left and before she was discharged and she still has COPD, which she had before, but I texted her to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving yesterday. She texted back. Like me, she’s grateful to have spent her Thanksgiving at home. I am planning to stop in for a visit to her sometime in the next month so we can remember that miracles do happen.

A Chat and a Cup of Tea or Something Warm

Welcome to another chat and a cup of tea blog post. What can I pour you? A cup of coffee? Tea? Cocoa?

I’m having tea with honey today. Well, a little bit of honey because I am actually almost out of honey, but at least the tea is warm.

I thought I would share this post today because I finished up the serial story I usually share for Fiction Friday.

(Full Disclosure: Again, I will mention I fully stole this blog post idea from Erin at Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs and I am not ashamed to admit it.)

Would you like a snack with your beverage?

How about cookies? Oh. I don’t have any in the house.

I have crackers. That’s about it right now, but I’ll be sure to have cookies or better snacks next time.

Do you have snacks with your tea?

I don’t normally myself.

So last night I watched Signed, Sealed, Delivered For Christmas and sobbed through half of it. I guess it’s what I needed this week to remember all I have and all I could have lost last year. I watched it on my laptop while my daughter watched something else on the main TV and the boys did their own things. A couple of times The Boy and The Husband walked by and looked at me curiously. The Boy actually stopped and hugged me and then showed me a funny meme because he figured I needed cheering up. I wasn’t depressed, though, just touched by the movie.

I watched it on Peacock, but I believe you can also watch it on Amazon through their Hallmark channel.

 I felt like I needed happy things yesterday after becoming very down about the state of our word, and the sort of odd night I had Wednesday.

The odd night turned out okay, but it was a little draining, so I welcomed the mental break Thursday evening.

Now the story behind the odd night because I know you want to know (ha).

I take my daughter to Awana on Wednesday nights. We were running late because I dropped off food for my parents and four quarters for The Husband (who was at a meeting) to pump up his tire that was soft. I took Little Miss into the church and shut off the van and it started making weird noises – like an animal was running inside and thumping around. I turned it off and on a few times, and kept hearing it but couldn’t figure it out.

I decided it must be an animal inside the engine and pulled out my laptop to do some editing. That’s when my phone dinged and I looked down to see a message from The Husband telling me he’d blown a tire on the way home and was at my parents.

I joked with him to not breathe while there because my dad had had a cold. I immediately forgot I told him that because my mind was on the weird sounds in the car and how we were going to pay for the tire. So then I was thrown into a complete panic when I got this text from him:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

 “Lisa, I can’t not breathe” but I was so distracted I read “Lisa, I can’t breathe.”

He had some chest discomfort last week from reflux and for a few seconds I really started thinking he couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t call him because there is no service at the church, only WiFi. I told him to call an ambulance, but he wrote back, “Lisa, I’m at your parents. I’m fine.”

All I could think is that he wasn’t fine because he just told me he couldn’t breathe.

I’m freaking out at this point – thinking I am going to be a widow, but also trying to figure out how he’s texting so well if he can’t breathe.

After I urge him to call an ambulance again, he texts back “Lisa! Read what I wrote again.”
I scroll back and read: “Lisa, I can’t NOT breathe. I’m at your parents. I’m fine.”

I started laughing and crying because at that point because I was so relieved and felt so stupid at the same time. I was also wondering if I breathed in some fumes or something that made me that even more airheaded than normal.

I was still worried about the van so I moved it to an area of the parking lot where there was more light. I then went into the church and collected Little Miss a little early so we can go pick up The Husband at my parents.

I came back out and the van wouldn’t start. No kidding, In the past I would have probably started crying but I guess the small amount of CBD oil I have started taking each day had kicked in because I felt like laughing instead. Here we were with both of our cars out of commission in one night. It was a bit surreal and odd and sort of like a sitcom.

Long story short, a guy at the church looked under the hood and said he thought it might be the fuel pump.

In the end the van was actually out of coolant, but I was able to start it at the church and make it to my dad’s where he filled it up and sent us on our way.

The Husband will get a new tire today and hopefully we will have a break from car problems for a while.

The day before the weird car stuff, I received a package from Bettie G., a lovely lady and writer I met here in the blog world. She’s retired from blogging, but still has wonderful posts on the blog, which she has kept up. She’s also written a wonderful devotional type book called Abiding In Him: A Life Together in Ministry, which is the story of her and her husband devoting their lives various Christian ministries.

You can learn more about the book HERE and purchase copies HERE.

It will be something I can read this weekend while we stay inside, away from the cold weather. We aren’t getting the snow that cities north of us our getting, thankfully. We aren’t supposed to get any snow again until next week and I am fine with that.

We literally went from temperatures in the low 70s to temps in the 20s and 30s within two days. Blah!

A couple of inches of snow fell earlier in the week and in the first thirty seconds of stepping into it, Little Miss picked up some snow, packed it into a snowball and hit me in the face with it.

Yeah. I’m so excited for four more months of this.

The cats, who normally spend most of their time outside, have been only going out for short jaunts and then running inside, taking turns laying on my chest. They both have horrible timing and try to snuggle when I need to be doing something, like finishing dinner. This morning, the youngest came into the bedroom and fell asleep on my legs for two hours.    

The whole time I kept thinking, “I should move,” but then I would think, “But she doesn’t get to cuddle with me often and this is sort of nice.” In the end I just laid there while I pulled some old blog posts together that I plan to edit and share again later, posted and commented on Instagram, finished a chapter of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and complained to my husband via text that I couldn’t feel my legs anymore.

It has taken me forever to finish this blog post because I have been interrupted by various children, pets, and thoughts (plus I had to warm my tea a couple of times), but that’s how life goes, isn’t it? We often seem to get interrupted.

I had to order heating oil this morning – that was another distraction, sadly. It’s $4.89 a gallon right now and we needed to fill our tank so that should be a fun bill.

Despite the financial worries and worrying about various family issues, I am looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. We aren’t ready for Christmas yet, of course, but we are having fun getting ready to celebrate it by buying decorations and watching Christmas movies.

How about you? Are you getting into the Christmas spirit yet?

What has been going on in your world?

Special Fiction … Wednesday? Mercy’s Shore Final Chapters

Umm…whoops! I completely forgot I had promised to post the final chapters of the book Sunday night so here they are now.

As always, this is a continuing/serial story. I share a chapter a week and at the end of the story, after I edit and rewrite it, I self-publish it. To catch up with the story click HERE. To read the rest of the books in this series click HERE.

If you would prefer to read the book when it is all complete, you can pre-order a copy HERE on Amazon. It releases on January 31, 2023. There is also a link to the previous chapters HERE.

Chapter 36

Judi snatched the phone off her bedside table. So much for sleeping in this Saturday.

The caller ID said Evan, though, so she didn’t mind losing a couple hours of sleep.

“Hey, you.”

“Hey, you,” she said back, a broad smile tugging at her mouth at the sound of excitement in his voice.

“I’m back in town for a week, maybe more. I was wondering if you’d like to meet me out at the Tanner’s new pumpkin farm today. Maybe around noon?”

She rolled on her stomach, propping herself on her elbows. “That sounds very nice. I wasn’t sure you’d want to be around me again.”

Evan laughed. “You got all those flowers I sent, right? Of course I still want to be around you. I thought maybe I could buy you a donut and a cup of apple cider. Plus, it’d be somewhere  — um —neutral.”

She agreed to meet him at noon and spent the next two hours looking for the perfect autumn outfit. She spent another half an hour looking at herself in the mirror, adjusting her makeup, brushing her hair, then wiping some of the makeup off. Letting out a huff of breath she blew her bangs out of her eyes and shook her head in resignation.

“Don’t overthink it, Lambert. Just go.”

But she did overthink it. All the way to the pumpkin farm and in the parking lot, looking at herself in the rearview mirror. When a face appeared at her window out of the corner of her eye she screamed, then burst into laughter as she watched Evan lean back and laugh loudly.

“You jerk.” She laughed as she climbed out of the car and gently slapped his upper arm with the back of her hand.

“Sorry. That was just too funny.” His smile made her heart lurch. “You look beautiful, by the way. You don’t have to keep fixing your hair.”

Warmth spread up from her chest to her face. “Thank you.”

He tipped his head sideways to the entrance behind the store. “Care for a walk? I think the cider and donuts are back there.”

“Sure. That sounds nice.”

Leaves crunched under their feet as they walked. Judi slid her hands in her sweater pockets, her gaze drifting across a pumpkin field to her left, filled with pumpkins but also children swarming the pumpkins, loading them into carts, or carrying them to their parents. Beyond the pumpkin field were drying stalks of corn and a sign marking the entrance to the maze. Haybales were positioned at various places around the walkway, and she breathed in the scent of the drying hay, remembering her time growing up on the farm. During her teenage years, she avoided barn chores, using any excuse not to help with the milking, or shovel manure, or feed the calves. She was glad her dad had her sister and young men he’d hired to help him in the barn now, but a part of her did miss that time, a much more innocent time.  

“How’s work going?”

The question was one that used to cause her stomach to clench. In the last few weeks, though, she’d helped Ben draw up wills, help close sales for properties, and watched Ben calmly walk a woman through a divorce from an abusive husband.  Working for Ben gave her more of an opportunity to help others than any other job she’d ever had. She felt like she was actually contributing to society instead of floating through it.

“It’s going well, actually. I still don’t really know what I am doing, but Ben’s been patient with me.”

Evan ordered them apple cider and donuts at the small concession stand and motioned toward a wooden bench off to one side. “How are you doing otherwise?” he asked and she noticed he positioned himself a good distance from her as they sat, practically on the other end of the bench.

“I’m doing okay, really.” She sipped her cider. “I’m sure Ellie filled you in on some things.”

He shook his head once. “No. She said it wasn’t her place to and I respect that.”

She sipped more of the apple cider, enjoying the tartness on her tongue as she considered what to say next. “I’m sorry, Evan. I don’t know why I reacted that way. Well, I do, but I shouldn’t have with you.”

He laid an arm across the back of the bench, watching her as if waiting for her to continue. Concern etched his face.

She cleared her throat. “One night a year and a half ago, a little more, a guy tried to get further with me than I wanted. I was able to get away from him but another woman, a girl really, wasn’t as lucky.” Tears pricked at her eyes. “I don’t know why he let me go and not her and maybe other women, but he did.” She laughed softly, a tear slipping down her cheek. “Of course, my knee to his groin probably didn’t do much to make him want to try to keep me there.” She drew the back of a finger across the tear. “I guess I didn’t realize how much it had all affected me. I tried to laugh it off, drink it off, and run away but it seems like it all has been catching up with me lately and hit me full force that night with you.”

He winced and reached a hand toward her, but then pulled it back again, closing his fingers into a fist briefly before letting the hand drop to the back of the bench again. “Judi, I’m sorry. If I had known, I never would have been so forward.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Evan. It was me. I tried to move faster than I was ready that night. I wanted to forget everything, and I guess I thought I could erase all the memories of him by being with you. I’m the one that is sorry.” She pulled her lower lip between her teeth briefly. “And embarrassed.”

“There is nothing to be embarrassed about. You couldn’t control that reaction, as much as you wanted to. I understand.” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Well, I don’t totally understand, because I’m not you and didn’t experience what you did, but I can see how that could have triggered some negative memories.”

Judi reached out and laid her hand on his. “I just don’t want you to think that you somehow triggered anything negative. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Evan kept his arm over the back of the bench and sat the cup of cider on the seat next to him. “What happened to this guy? Did you report him or anything?”

She pushed a strand of hair back from her face and hooked it behind her ear. “No, I never did. He’s going to trial for the other woman he assaulted, though. He’s somehow out on bail and called me a few weeks ago.”

Evan’s eyebrows lifted. “He called you?”

“Yeah and he doesn’t want me to tell anyone what happened, but I’m going to. This girl’s lawyer called me a while ago. Ben and I talked to him yesterday.” She drew in a shaky breath, startled by the emotion gripping her. “I talked to the girl a few days ago. Her experience was so similar to mine, from everything he said to everything he did.” She closed her eyes briefly against the tears. “I knew she wasn’t lying.”

When she opened her eyes, Evan’s jaw had tightened, and he swallowed hard.

 “I’m scared,” she said, her voice dropping to a whisper. “But I’m going to be with her in the courtroom. I don’t want her to feel like it’s her against him. It will be us against him.”

Evan leaned toward her, then leaned back again. “I’ll be there for you if you want me to be. I really want to hold you right now, but I don’t want to touch you unless you want me to. I talked to a therapist friend of mine and she said I shouldn’t try to make the first move in any way. I should let you tell me when it is okay for me to physically be near you.”

A smile pulled at her mouth. “You talked to a therapist about me?”

Crimson colored his cheeks. “Yeah, but I mean, I didn’t tell her your name or anything. I just told her a little bit about the situation and asked how I should handle it because I care about you and — yeah —” He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “I just told her I want to pursue a relationship with you, so I want to know how to help you heal from all of this.” He cleared his throat. “That’s why I thought it might be good to meet here where it’s a little more neutral.”

He cared enough to talk to a therapist about how to talk to her? Was this for real?

A small laugh came from her throat. “Evan McGee, I think that you really are as sweet as I’ve heard your brother is.”

He made a face. “Ew. Don’t compare me to Saint Matt. I’m not that good.”

She moved closer to him on the bench, touching a hand to his cheek. “Well, you are very close and that’s not a bad thing.” Leaning closer she lightly touched her mouth to his. “Thank you.”

He grinned, tipping his head closer to hers. “You’re welcome. And listen, we can take this slow and just hang out. We can go out to public places, or have friends over when we watch movies, or —”

She slid her hand to the back of his neck and pulled his head down to hers, pressing her mouth to this.

“Thank you,” she whispered several seconds later, her lips grazing his. “All of that sounds really nice. I’m not used to men being so nice to me so it may take me a bit to get used to it.”

He smiled. “That’s fine by me. I’m a patient man.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “Is it okay if I kiss you again?”

She tilted her face toward his and they resumed their kiss, pulling apart a few minutes later when Judi heard a voice call out behind them.

“Oooh! Judi and Evan sitting on a bench, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.”

Judi glowered at Ben. “Bench doesn’t have the same ring to it, you know.”

Ben laughed. “Yeah, I know, but you’re not in a tree.”

Judi glanced at Angie beside Ben. “How about you two? Any k-i-s-s-i-n-ging between you two?”

Ben held up a hand. “That, ma’am, is privileged information.” He gestured toward a hay wagon to the right being pulled by a tractor being driven by Alex. “Anyone care for a hayride? I’m willing to ride with you two, as long as you can keep your hands off each other.”

Judi scoffed and folded her arms across her chest. “With Alex at the helm. I don’t know if I’d feel safe.”

Alex looked over his shoulder and scowled from under his hat. “I heard that, Lambert. Even over this tractor engine, which just shows everyone what a big mouth you have.”

Judi hooked her arm through Angie’s. “Come on, Angie, let’s go find the pumpkin cannons instead. We can pretend we’re shooting them at Ben and Alex.”

“Hey!” Ben cried. “What did I do?”

Evan laughed. “I don’t know, but I’m glad I wasn’t included in that list.”

Judi fell into step with Angie, glancing over her shoulder at Ben and Evan. “You think you two will be able to work things out?”

Angie smiled. “Yeah, I think so. I hope so anyhow. How about you? Will you be sticking around the area for a while?” She winked. “Maybe hanging out with Evan?”

The light feeling in her step and the way her muscles had lost their tension was a foreign, but welcome feeling to Judi.

“Yeah. I think so. I hope so anyhow.”

Epilogue

“Hey, you still coming to dinner tonight at mom’s?”

Judi paused at her car and looked up at Evan, smiling. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. I can’t wait to taste her cooking again. I have to do something quick before then, though. Meet you there?”

 “How about I pick you up. Say 5:30?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

After years of being fiercely independent, she wasn’t lying when she said she would like to be picked up. She’d also been liking Evan being home more in the last two weeks as he started a job with a local construction company.

She turned the music up as she pulled away from her apartment building, wishing the cold temperatures didn’t preclude her from sliding the window down. Half an hour later she pulled into a parking space and checked her hair and make-up, then laughed at herself. She didn’t need to worry about her hair.

She had a feeling he wouldn’t care.

The sanitary smell and squeak of her soles on the newly mopped floor reminded her of where she was and where she was headed. Her chest tightened. Hospitals weren’t her favorite place, and she wasn’t sure what reaction she’d receive.

She asked for his room number and if visitors were allowed at the nurse’s station.

The shades were open. Sunlight poured across his bed. She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders, trying to recapture the confidence she’d once possessed. She pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and sat quickly before she changed her mind.

“Hey, Jer. You’re not looking so great.”

Jerry blinked the one eye free of the bandages, grunted through bruised and scarred lips, and lifted one stitched-up hand. Judi was expecting a rude gesture, but instead, his thumb raised slowly. 

He pointed at the notepad on the small table by the bed. She handed it and a pen to him. After a few long minutes of scrawling, hampered by bandages and fingers that didn’t seem to want to bend, he pushed the pad toward her. The letters were shaky and a couple were missing, but she got the drift.

I owe you more than one. Not a beer. A soda. When I get out of here.

A smile pulled her mouth up and she looked up at him. “You definitely do. How about a root beer float down at that new ice cream place on Main? Be warned, though, I might look light a lightweight, but I can pack it away.”

A raspy laugh came from Jerry and to anyone else it might have been unnerving, but to Judi it was one of the best sounds in the world.

Educationally Speaking: Fall Homeschool Update

Homeschool has been trucking along fairly well this year. Our days have been filled with more book learning than hands-on learning for the last couple of weeks.

Little Miss and I are still working with math and reading/English curriculum from The Good and The Beautiful. She’s not fighting me as often as she was last year when I say it is time to do our lessons.

For Science, we are using the space curriculum from Apologia’s Creation series.

We finished our history and are now doing individual unit studies. Last week we finished a book about George Washington Carver which I combined with videos and an art project where we recreated paintings of his. Well, I tried to recreate one, but she sort of did her own thing, which is fine as long as she was enjoying herself.

Next up is a unit on Native Americans and I have ordered a fiction book — Children of the Longhouse by Joseph Bruchac — that I hope will tell a Native American story in a creative way and allow us to talk about real-life events. I looked up a bunch of picture books about Native Americans but our library only had one of them so I’ll either have to buy them or look at larger libraries.

A couple of weeks ago when it was still nice enough outside for Little Miss to jump on the trampoline, we had an assignment in our reading/English book for Little Miss to orally relay to me a story she made up.

One day she spent three straight hours working on the book, using my computer, even with my messed up “s” and “w” keys which sometimes work and sometimes don’t. Since then she’s asked a couple of times to work on her book and wants me to publish it for her at some point, which I hope to do next year.

The Boy is still working with his grandpa a couple of days a week, which is part of his life skills education, in addition to his regular schoolwork.

For his book-based schoolwork, he is reading about Medieval History via The History of the Medieval World by Susan Wise Bauer, Biology through Apologia, and classic literature in the form of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, which he is actually enjoying. He also has math through CTC Math, which is an online program and grammar through FixIt! Grammar.

We have been trying to secure him a place at a school near us for next year that is similar to a trade school but seem to be being stonewalled because he is homeschooled and not enrolled, even though under state law we are supposed to be able to access those programs as well. The local school district will not return phone calls and it is very frustrating.

Hopefully it will work out.

The Boy is 16 now so we will be starting driving lessons soon, but first we will be studying the manual, which is now online. My husband printed it out for him, but The Boy isn’t in a huge hurry to get his license so we will take our time in that area.

I need to find a field trip for us in the next month or so and I think I’ll look into a couple small museums near us that have Native American artifacts. Winter seems to have started a little earlier with temperatures already in the high 20s or low 30s and our first snowfall coming yesterday, so any field trips will have to be inside at this point.

If you are homeschooling, how is it going for you? If you aren’t, how is school going for you children or grandchildren?

Fiction Friday: Mercy’s Shore Chapter 33

As always, this is a continuing/serial story. I share a chapter a week and at the end of the story, after I edit and rewrite it, I self-publish it. To catch up with the story click HERE. To read the rest of the books in this series click HERE.

Let me know in the comments what you think. Or don’t. That’s okay too. *wink*

If you would prefer to read the book when it is all complete, you can pre-order a copy HERE on Amazon. It releases January 31, 2023.

Chapter 33

Ben greeted Leona and Adam inside, offering a quick ‘hello’ to Angie and William as Amelia dragged him into the kitchen to show him the paints and doll. After a brief conversation with Leona about his parents and work, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, want to come out to the barn and see the blueprints for the shop?” Adam grinned. “My brother dropped them off this morning.”

“Sure. That would be great.”

It would also him get out of the house and away from Angie and William who were sitting next to each other on the couch, talking in hushed tones. Probably wedding planning, which made his stomach turn.

Out in the barn, Adam led him to a small office built to one side, toward the back.

Ben rubbed his chin. “Hmmm. This wasn’t here the last time I was here. When did you have this built?”

“Built it myself,” Adam said with a shrug, opening the door. “Didn’t take much.”

“I thought you were supposed to be taking it easy.”

“Ah, no big deal. Few boards and some nails. The boys carried my dad’s old desk and a couple filing cabinets out and we were ready to go.”

“And you’re doing okay?”

“I am. Taking the medicine they gave me, plus taking more breaks has helped the blood pressure and the heartburn. My new cardiologist says my heart is looking good too. I hate that I scared the girls, though.”

Adam unfurled the blueprints and spread them out on the desktop. “This is the preliminary blueprint, but I like it so far. We’re going to have a showroom right up here in the front and in the back a workshop area. We’ll have storage in a separate area over here and hopefully a parking lot right here, if we can get the permits, which shouldn’t be a problem since it’s going to be right next to the Tanner’s Farm Store.”

“Oh wow. That’s a great idea. Their customers could potentially be your customers.”

“That’s what we’re thinking and Rob’s going to sell us the land at a discount. He’s excited to help us out and we’re excited to let him.”

Ben nodded, still looking at the blueprints. “Looks great. What’s the timeline?”

“Probably three months to clear the land and start construction and maybe another six months to complete the construction. Rob’s opening up a pumpkin farm this year and next year we’ll be able to market together to bring in more customers for us both.”

Ben studied the blueprints as Adam gestured. “These look great, Adam. This is really great for you.”

“It’s great for the entire family. We’re certainly excited.” Adam looked up from the prints. “Hey, I didn’t even think to ask you why you stopped by. Did you have something you wanted to talk to me about?”

“No. Not really. Honestly, I just wanted to see for myself how you were doing.”

Adam sat in the chair behind the desk. “That’s nice of you. As you can see, I’m doing well.” He leaned back in the chair, propping his arm on the desk. “I’m sure getting a glimpse of my daughter was a plus too.”

Ben held up a hand. “Adam, for one, she’s engaged and for two, she hates me.”

Adam cleared his throat. “Ben —”

“Hey boys!” Leona called from outside the barn. “Amelia wants a ride in that fancy car so William is going to give us a lift into town. Angie’s got a headache and staying home. There’s room for one more. One of you want to ride with us?”

Adam jumped up from the chair, stepped around the side of the desk, and teasingly pushed Ben aside. “Me! Me! Shotgun!”

Ben laughed as the man good-naturedly patted him on the chest on the way by.

“Have a nice ride, I’m going to head out actually. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.”

“Listen, though, I think we should talk first,” Adam said as they walked across the yard toward the driveway.

“Hurry, Pop-Pop! The train is leaving the station!”

Ben was surprised at how far Amelia’s little voice carried.

Adam snorted a laugh. “That’s what I always say to her when she’s taking too long to get ready. It’s not as funny when she turns it around on me.”

“Have fun,” Ben said. “I’ll stop by another time for that talk.”

Adam opened his mouth to say something, but Leona spoke instead. “I’ve got your coat, hon’. We better get going before the stand closes for the night.”

“Better head out,” Ben told him. “We’ll talk later.”

William held out a hand before sliding into the driver’s side of what Ben guessed was a very expensive sports car. “Ben, take care.”

“You too,” Ben said, shaking his hand.

He stood and watched the car disappear down the driveway then headed for his own car, feeling like there was a rock in his gut.

“Ben.” He turned his hand on the car door. Angie was standing on the top step of the porch. He allowed himself a quick glance at her tan capris and white v-neck shirt under a beige sweater before focusing on her eyes as she spoke. “You need to know something.”

He turned to face her, sliding his hands in his front jean pockets. “Okay.”

She folded her arms across her chest and took a deep breath, her voice calm. “I’m not who I was in high school or college. I’ve changed. I’m not the girl who falls all over the star baseball player anymore or thinks she has to sleep with someone to be worth something. I’ve grown up and I have someone else to think about now.”

He waited for her to continue, but when she didn’t he gave a quick nod. “Okay. Thank you for letting me know. Anything else?”

A breeze caught her hair, pushed strands into her face. She pushed it aside, hooking it behind her ear. “I just wanted you to know where I stand if you’re going to keep showing up here. I don’t mind you coming to see Amelia or her seeing you or your parents, but you need to know that I am not going to fall in love with you again.”

He tipped his head down and kicked at the dirt with the toe of his shoe, then looked back up at her. “Okay. I understand. Thank you for letting me and my parents see Amelia.”

He did wonder, though, how much longer they’d have that chance with Angie eventually marrying William and them all moving back to Lancaster.

She hugged her arms tighter around her. “You’re welcome.”

They stood in awkward silence for a few minutes before he finally said, “If that’s all, I’ll be heading out now.”

“That’s all you’re going to say?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know what else you want me to say. I mean are you telling me you’re not going to fall in love with me for my benefit or yours?”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, do you want me to know, or are you reminding yourself?”

Her nose wrinkled and she scoffed, waving a hand at him. “Go home, Ben.”

She turned to walk back into the house, and he stepped toward her, hands clenching at his side. “I’m just asking because if you don’t want to fall in love with me again then why even have this discussion? Why put up the disclaimer? Why not just yell at me and tell me to get lost and never come back?”

She turned back to face him, arms out to her sides. “Because Amelia loves you, okay? Because she’s your daughter and she should have some sort of relationship with you even if you are a jerk.”

“Was a jerk. I’ve changed too Angie.” He relaxed his hands, and took a deep breath. “The only thing that hasn’t changed is that I still love you. I have a feeling that maybe, deep down, you still love me.”

Her eyes flashed as her jaw tightened. “Do you really think I could still love someone who has never even apologized for walking away from me and our daughter?”

He snorted a small laugh. “How was I supposed to apologize?”

“Like how any human being apologizes when they screw up. A phone call, a visit, a carrier pigeon. Anything but cutting off all contact.”

“I didn’t cut off all contact. I sent money and gifts —”

“That’s not apologizing, Ben. There were no words exchanged, no —”

“How was I supposed to apologize for what I did, Angie? How?” Tears stung his eyes. “How do I say I’m sorry for walking away from you during one of the scariest times of your life? How do I say I’m sorry for —” His voice broke “God forgive me. For telling you to murder that beautiful baby girl before she was even born?” He looked at her, voice trembling, tears escaping down his cheeks. “I buried myself in work for almost five years, so I didn’t have to think about what a monster I was. So I didn’t have to remember everything I did wrong and how there was no way I could go back and ask you to forgive me.” He shook his head, dragging a hand across his cheek, and looked away from her. “I can’t even ask it now. I have absolutely no right to.”

A silence fell between them that only the breeze playing with the dying leaves above them filled. He stepped back, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand.

“I don’t even know why we’re talking about this anyhow. You’re engaged to William.”

Her gaze drifted across the yard, toward the faded blue hills in the distance. Her voice was barely audible. “I’m not engaged to William.”

“What do you mean? You said that day here at lunch —”

“I know what I said.” She looked at him again. “I’d broken it off with William but didn’t tell anyone and I certainly wasn’t going to tell them in front of you.”

“Then why is he here?”

“He only came up here to check on dad and so we could talk to Amelia about us not being together anymore.” She pulled a strand of hair away from her face again. “I couldn’t marry him. I seem to have lost trust in men along the way. Who knows why. Ha. Ha.”

Ben swallowed hard and raked a hand through his hair. “Listen, I should go. We’re not getting anywhere here. Exchanging insults isn’t going to help anything.”

Angie took a step forward, arms still folded across her chest. “You asked God to forgive you just now. Was that real? And you said you’d pray for my dad. Did you mean that too? Are you really praying to God? If so, which God?”

He let out a quick breath. “The God of Abraham. Elohim. Jireh. The God you and I were raised to believe in but ran away from for so many years.”

“You want me to believe that you suddenly turned over a new leaf and to God?”

A faint smile tugged at his mouth. “No, not suddenly. Gradually.” He tossed his hands out to his side and then dropped them again. “You don’t have to believe me. I know where my heart is. I know that God has been guiding me to peace in my life. I don’t have to prove that to you, even though I wish I could somehow.” He placed his hands at his waist. “I wish I could show you what God has come to mean to me. I wish I could show you how much I still love you in one big gesture, but I can’t. There will never be a gesture big enough to show you how much I’ve loved you all these years.”

She lifted her chin slightly. “Even when you slept with Bridgett?”

He made a face. “I never slept with Bridgett.”

“Your friend Sam told me you did.”

“That I did what? Stayed over at her house?”

“He said you spent the night with her. I know what that means.”

He laughed softly. “Yeah, that I spent the night with her. Asleep. On her couch. While she slept in her room. I was drunk. I showed up at her place, thinking I could forget you if I slept with someone else. She sent me to the couch, woke me up the next morning and told me to get out and get my act together. She also told me to go find you and apologize for being the worst boyfriend in the world because it was clear I was still in love with you.”

“She thought that?”

“She knew that.” He focused his gaze on her eyes. “I was still in love with you and I still am. How many times do I have to say it?”

“You’ve had a funny way of showing it,” she said, hugging her arms tighter around her.

He walked slowly toward her, closing the gap between them. “You would never have believed me if I’d come to you back then and told you anything that I’m telling you now and I doubt you even believe me now.” Standing a couple of inches from her, he reached up and cupped his hand against her face, taking in a sharp breath at the softness of her skin against his hand, at touching her for the first time in almost five years other than that day in the barn. “Do you believe me, Angie? Do you believe I still love you?”

Her gaze dropped to his mouth, and he took that as a sign that she was comfortable with him standing so close, maybe even with him kissing her. He wanted desperately to kiss her.

He moved his head slowly toward hers, testing the water. When she didn’t pull away but instead closed her eyes, he lowered his mouth to hers, capturing it gently, seeking her permission with his action. He expected her to pull away, maybe even slap him, but she didn’t. She let him kiss her and when he pulled back slightly, she opened her eyes, looked at him for a few seconds, then leaned forward again and pressed her mouth to his, sliding her arms around his neck.

He moved his hand to the back of her head, buried his fingers in her hair, and slid his arm around her lower back, pulling her against him. The second the kiss deepened, though, she pulled back, dropped her hands to his chest and pushed him gently away from her.

“No. I can’t do this. Not right now. I mean —” She shook her head slowly, looking at the ground, as if trying to wake up from a dream. “I need some time to think.”

He nodded once, sliding his hands into his jeans pockets again. “Do you want me to stay away?”

“No. You can come to see Amelia and my parents. Just — Just give me some time, okay?”

“Yeah. I can do that. I’m sorry — I shouldn’t have —”

She held her hand up, taking a couple steps back. “No. It’s okay. I just need some time to process.”

He watched her walk back into the house, fingertips to her lips, and wondered if the kiss had affected her as much as it had him.

‘Tis The Season Cinema: The Man Who Invented Christmas

Erin from Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs and I are starting a feature today where we will share our impressions of Christmas movies, in the same way we did for Halloween movies and the summer classic movies. Yes, we are starting this early at the risk of offending all the Christmas purists who believe you can not watch Christmas movies before December 1. One of those people is my son who showed me this meme when I told him what we were doing:

Anyhow….I digress:

This week we are kicking things off with the origin of the definitive Christmas story (other than the real reason for the season, Christ’s birth) through the movie The Man Who Invented Christmas.

Off the topic (again), but while looking for the movie on Amazon, a ton of movies that started with three words, The Man Who… popped up and made me realize that’s either a very popular title or a very lazy one.

The movie starts with an elated Charles Dickens (Dan Stevens) who is in America, riding the wave of success of Oliver Twist. Within minutes, though, we are tossed into the future where Charles has just had three books flop.

He’s toured Britain and America and been celebrated in the past but now he is home and has what every writer dreads: writer’s block.

He needs a hit, not only for his ego but to pay for all the renovations at his home and to support his growing family.

Did you know that Dickens had 10 children? Because before watching this movie I didn’t either. I looked it up and found some other unpleasant behaviors of his, which was sad, but he was still a fascinating man.

Okay, back to the movie.

His publishers are ready to toss him out on his ear, but his agent suggests they keep him on if he writes a new book. The publishers are excited. Of course they will keep him on if he’s going to write them a new book they tell his agent.

The problem? Charles doesn’t even have an idea for a new book.

Bring in the new housemaid who begins telling stories that ignite his imagination and inspire him to tell the story of a selfish, bitter old man who begins to — quite literally — come alive in his mind.

He decides it will be a Christmas book but it’s halfway through October. “There isn’t time to write and publish a book and market it by Christmas,” they tell him.

He’s left to pay for the book on his own. Pay for it and write it at the same time his estranged father arrives for a visit.

This is the father whose debts left 12-year-old Charles working in a shoe factory to pay off those debts.

His relationship with his manipulative father weighs heavily on his writing of this new book which he eventually titles A Christmas Carol.

This movie takes the viewer on a delightful journey and you don’t have to be a writer to relate to the many interruptions he faces as he tries to write, but being one makes it even more relatable.

The insane creativity of this movie is what drew me in. Watching the characters appear in Dickens’ world as he writes them is fascinating for someone who also writes fiction and experiences characters come alive in my brain. Dickens also draws from his own life to craft his stories, which is again something I can also relate to. The way Charles lives his life with all his characters following him along each step of the way isn’t a far-fetched concept for writers who have done the same, though probably never finding as much success as Dickens and looking even crazier than he did.

My son tells me I’m borderline insane because I have a bunch of people living in my brain and sometimes I talk to them. He is, of course, joking. I think. He’d better be since he talks to the characters in his video games like they are real.

Scrooge (Christopher Plummer) wakes Charles at one point during the night in the movie and I had to laugh because that is when all the best ideas come for writers — when they’d rather be sleeping or need to be doing something else. I often feel like a character is whispering in my ear as I try to drift off, saying things like, “Hey, about that conversation I shared earlier, I forgot to tell you part of it. Can you just get up and write that part down so it’s accurate? That would be great.”

There is a great deal of sadness in the movie as Charles uncovers his own demons at the same time he uncovers Scrooge’s, but there is also incredible hope as he works to push his past heartache and bitterness to the side and find happiness in his life.

“I’m afraid,” he tells his friend/agent.

“What have you got to be afraid of?” the friend asks.

“That if I can’t finish it, I’ll never write again,” he responds.

It was a true fear for Charles, but ultimately unwarranted as he went on to write ten more novels, other novellas and short stories, including Great Expectations, A Tale of Two Cities, and David Copperfield.

Read Erin’s impression of the movie on her blog.

If you’d like to join us in this seven-week feature at any point, you can do so. Here is our list of upcoming movies (the dates are when we plan to publish our blog posts):

Nov. 17 A Christmas Carol Goes Wrong

Nov. 24: White Christmas

Dec. 1: Muppets Christmas Carol

Dec. 8: Holiday Inn                                                                           

Dec. 15: It’s A Wonderful Life

Dec. 22: Charlie Brown Christmas and Emmett Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas