Advent

7 Ways to slow down this Christmas season

/ Lisa R. Howeler / 11 Comments

Do you ever find that the time around Christmas is super rushed and busy?

Maybe you or your children have a lot of activities around this time of year. Maybe you have a lot of family gatherings to attend.

Maybe you find it hard to find time to just slow down and enjoy all that this season is about.

I’m lucky, in some ways, that we don’t have as many obligations in my family. We have a very small family, so we only have one Christmas gathering to attend. My children are homeschooled, so there aren’t Christmas programs for them to perform in.

It might be easier for me to find the time to slow down and focus on the season than others, but even without obligations, life seems to get busy. The dishwasher smells funny, the cat is throwing up, the dog wants to go out (again), the youngest has a cold, the husband injured his foot, the cleaner that was supposed to start at the parents never showed up. All of this kept popping up even when I was trying to write this blog post!

There are always interruptions in life, especially at the holidays, and sometimes we feel like we have to keep jumping up and plugging our fingers in the holes popping up in the dam of life.

Really, though, we need the slowed down moments in our life to regain our strength for the busier times. During the Christmas season, we need to slow down to remember what Christmas is truly about — the birth of our Savior.

The moments where we slow down isn’t wasted time. It’s the most important time because it’s when we are really living. The slower moments are when we are really taking it all in; making memories our children and we will always remember.

So, without further ado, here are seven ways to slow down this Christmas/holiday season.

It goes without saying, by the way, that shutting off social media is the first way to regain your peace and find some slower, more relaxed moments. Social media will be there after your break. Don’t be afraid to shut it off. You won’t miss very much, if anything at all.

  1. Baking cookies or other Christmas goodies  with your kids or spouse or a friend or even by yourself.

Maybe you’re like me and you don’t bake often or baking stresses you out because you’re a perfectionist. This idea might not appeal to you but remember, you don’t have to get fancy when you bake. You also don’t have to bake from scratch. Most importantly, whatever you bake doesn’t have to be perfect.

Pick up a boxed mix and have some fun.

 Don’t know how to decorate cookies in a fancy way? Who cares! Just have fun figuring it all out and if your cookies are a mess that’s fine because they’ll take the same as they would if they were perfect.

I have baked a couple times with my daughter lately and it’s been fun as long as I can let go of needing things to be perfect. There’s something about the methodical movements of adding the ingredients, stirring the batter, and placing it on the tray that relaxes me. I don’t have to think of anything other than adding, mixing, and placing. It’s on those days when I can simply take my time that I understand why bakers love to bake.

If you’re going to choose cookies to bake,  YouTube is a great source for ideas and tips on how to make the cookies and decorate them.

Here are three that I found:

Then, when the cookies are done and decorated, eat a few, slowly, really tasting them and washing them down with your favorite (non-alcoholic. Ha!) beverage.

2. Make or buy Christmas cards you can write notes in and send them to a few special friends or family members.

While the cookies are baking, or on a day where you aren’t baking, it can be both fun and relaxing to pull out some Christmas cards and write notes inside addressed to friends or family you haven’t talked to in a while, or even ones you just spoke to.

Write a small, personal note inside and let them know they’ve been on your mind.

Here is where I hit a snag when I try to do this — if I make the cards, I want them to be perfect. This was especially true this year when I prepared one for a cousin who is a talented advertising designer.

I had to let that go, though, and simply enjoy the process of making the cards and writing the notes. Hey, maybe they’ll think my 11-year-old made the card and won’t judge. Ha! Hopefully they wouldn’t judge anyhow.

Be sure to play some Christmas music, light a scented candle, and maybe sip some eggnog or cocoa, while you create to get yourself in the Christmas spirit.

I’m not going to link any YouTube videos here, lest you compare yourself to some of the artists who create amazing cards. I’ll let you search them up yourselves.

3. Read a Christmas-themed novel or short story.

Find a classic Christmas novel or short story with a sweet, uplifting plot, then find a chair to sit in, lay a blanket across your lap, and settle down for a good read. Make it a real book, if you can.

There is something so special and grounding about holding an actual book in your hands, feeling the weight of it, the tangible texture of the pages against your fingers as you turn them, the smell of the ink.

If you can, light a candle or a fire in the fireplace/woodstove when you read, but be careful not to fall asleep.

4. Hold a family movie night.

Find a movie all of your family (or friends) will enjoy and make it an occasion. Set up the living room with cozy blankets, maybe even a blanket tent, some favorite snacks, cozy pajamas, stuffed animals and whatever else will make the movie night both fun and cozy.

Make it a movie that will make everyone laugh and feel excited about watching together.

Turn off the lights to make it feel like you are out at the theater, but without the crowds and high prices.

5. Decorate your house for the holidays.

You don’t have to go all out, but at least do a little decorating, even if it is a display in your living room. Set up some battery run candles or some garland or anything that will bring extra cheer to you while you relax, read, bake, or write in your journal.

 As you decorate listen to an entire album of either Christmas music or your favorite musician/singer/band. Instead of playing the album on your phone, pull out a CD or record. You can find record and CD  players online for very reasonable prices and listening to music the “old fashioned” way will be another way to immerse yourself in a less digitally connected time.

6. Journal each day of December. Write down at least three things that you are grateful for (and maybe keep that going for the rest of the year).

The “journal” can simply be a notebook from a dollar store. Something where you can write down your thoughts about what you are grateful for and don’t care if it is neat or not. Draw pictures in it or paste them in too. Actually get photographs printed out and add them to the journal even! Won’t that be a blast to the past for us older folk who used to paste photos or mementos in our journals instead of leaving the photographs in our phones?

Here is a YouTuber I found who designs and keeps journals:

7. Use an Advent Calendar.

An advent calendar is some way to countdown to Christmas. It is either a picture or object featuring windows where one window or door is opened each day leading up to Christmas. The phrase advent calendar comes from the German word Adventskalender.

Many Christians use the Advent calendar to countdown to Christmas as Jesus’ birthday.

An Advent calendar can slow you down because it leads you to take time out of your day to reflect on the meaning for the season. For our family the reason for the season is Jesus, while for others it might be family time or a time to reflect on all the good they’ve experience in the past year, or maybe work through all the bad. Using an advent calendar can be a way to bring the family together as well. It carves a small amount of time out for the family to sit down together and read the reading for the day together and talk about what it means to them.

Christmas is supposed to be a time of slowness and purposefulness.

This season is when we pause to remember the good of our lives and experience family togetherness, good will to men, and cheer brought to us by spending time with those we love.

 But it is also the time we honor the birth of our savior, the greatest gift of all. Jesus doesn’t ask us or want us to rush through this season so there’s no reason we should. I hope you can find your own pockets of stillness, peace, and calm this Christmas season.

This post is part of the Comfy, Cozy Christmas feature hosted by me and Erin at Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs. If you have a blog post that you would like to share as part of this annual link-up, please find out more here.

If you write book reviews or book-related blog posts, don’t forget that Erin and I host the A Good Book and A Cup of Tea Monthly Bookish Blog Party. You can learn more about it here.

Because she would want us to

/ Lisa R. Howeler / 2 Comments

My aunt Dianne was sitting in her recliner bundled up in a thick sweater pulled over her plaid button-up shirt she’d been wearing almost every day for two months with a thick, fluffy blanket across her legs. A knitted shawl with a hood was draped around her head and shoulders.

She looked – as she might say herself – like a tick about to burst.

“Lisa, is that heat on?” she asked and when I assured her it was she shivered. “Well, good gravy, I don’t think it’s working.”

On the TV Ree Drummond was pouring half a quart of whipping cream into a bowl of potatoes and telling viewers “Now, don’t judge me, or judge me if you want, but I just think these mashed potatoes are so much better with all this whipping cream.” Then she smiled at the camera.

“I can’t believe she’s not 300 pounds,” I said.

“All that cream is a little overboard isn’t it?” Dianne asked, rhetorically.

We both knew it was overboard.

We laughed a little and shook our heads.

We watched The Pioneer Woman whip up the potatoes and set them aside.

“Now it’s time for my famous chicken fried steak, which cowboys just love,” Ree said and smiled at the camera again, dimples showing.

I rolled my eyes.

“How hasn’t anyone in that family had a heart attack?” I wondered out loud, the irony not lost on me since my aunt had had at least two heart attacks already. I hoped she didn’t take my comment as a personal jab at her.

“Well…..” Dianne said and shrugged a little, leaving the rest of her response to be guessed.

The Pioneer Woman drives me nuts with her fattening recipes but her chipper personality and knowing I can modify the recipes for a healthier option make looking away hard to do.

Next to me the Christmas tree was bright with lights and ornaments. Out the window Dad’s star was shining bright against the dreary winter clouds at the edge of the field and woods.

Before long my aunt was asleep in her chair, chin into her chest. She’d been falling asleep a lot like that lately, sometimes almost in mid-sentence, and I knew her health was getting worse. So that day we enjoyed her when she was awake and tried not to think about how much longer we might have her with us.

A couple weeks before she’d been messaging me, asking me for gift suggestions for my son and daughter and I knew she was anxious to spoil them and see them smile as they opened their gifts. She was planning how to make sausage balls, a Southern tradition, without “poisoning me”, knowing I was allergic to corn and had also gone gluten-free. I told her not to worry about me and simply make the treats for the rest of the family. I offered to make some as well so she wouldn’t have to do all the work. We messaged back and forth and then I accidentally bumped the video chat button in messenger. The button is annoying and most days I hate it because I rarely want to video chat with anyone, especially via Facebook. I missed her call but she tried to call me through the ap and her voice was recorded. It was only for 17 seconds,  enough for me to hear her voice call my name, thinking I’d picked up. I didn’t discover it for a couple months, when she was already gone.

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Sometimes, when I’m missing Dianne the most, I scroll back to the recording and listen to her call my name. Of course, I always cry. When I first discovered the recording I hit the play button without thinking. Her voice could be heard throughout our house and my son’s head lifted quickly. He looked at me in confusion and then we burst into tears.

My mom said many days Dianne could barely make it from the bathroom to her chair without needing to sit down and catch her breath but she sat the kitchen table for hours and made the sausage balls, kneading the meat and flour and cheese together and rolling them to put in the oven to be cooked.

“She just seemed so delighted she could do that,” Mom remembered one day when we were visiting. She grew quiet and I saw tears in her eyes. “Well, anyhow…” her voice trailed off and I knew she was trying to stay happy and not bring the mood of the day down.

On my phone is a video of my aunt opening a gift from her grand-nephew, my son. She could barely catch her breath, but she seemed excited and hugged him and told her how much she loved the gift.

Four days later my husband’s phone rang and I heard him from upstairs.

“No! Oh no!” I heard emotion heavy in his voice.

He came downstairs and held the phone against his chest.

“It’s your mom,” he said.

I didn’t want to take the phone but I did. I already knew.

“Dianne died,” Mom said in a voice mixed with sadness and shock.

She’d called my husband first to make sure someone was with me when I was told, just as she had when my grandmother had died 15 years before.

Though I knew it was coming, my head still spun when the words came out of my mom, and I had to sit in the floor because my legs didn’t seem to want to hold me.

I sat in my parents living room the other day.

The chair was empty.

The Southern accent couldn’t be heard.

I couldn’t kiss her soft cheek or try to squirm away when she blew “zerberts” (messy, slobbery kisses) against my cheek.

I couldn’t feel her arms around me or hear her laugh when one of the kids said something funny.

Somehow it feels a lot less like Christmas this year with her gone.

Still, I know she would scold us for dreading gathering without her.

So we’ve promised each other to cook the sausage balls, decorate the tree, wrap the gifts and to cook the collard greens I forgot to get her last Christmas, even though she asked.

We will drink hot cocoa while we watch her favorite Christmas movies: “It’s A Wonderful Life” and the black and white version of “A Christmas Carol.”

We will share the funny stories and laugh as we remember her.

We will, somehow, find the joy in the midst of sadness and enjoy those who are still with us because that is exactly what she would have wanted us to do.

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