Category: everyday musings

Because she would want us to

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings7 Comments

I originally wrote this in 2019, the year after my aunt had passed away unexpectedly in my parents’ home December 29, 2017. She absolutely loved Christmas so while I think about her often, that’s one time of year I really think about her.

—-

My aunt Dianne was sitting in her recliner bundled up in a thick sweater over her plaid button up shirt and tshirt and a thick, fluffy blanket across her legs. A knitted shawl and hood combination was draped around her head and shoulders.

 She looked, as she might say herself, a tick about to burst.

“Lisa, is that heat on?” she asked and when I assured her it was, she shivered. “Well, good gravy, I don’t think it’s working.”

On the TV Ree Drummond was pouring half a quart of whipping cream into a bowl of potatoes and telling viewers “Now, don’t judge me, or judge me if you want, but I just think these mashed potatoes are so much better with all this whipping cream.” Then she smiled at the camera.

“I can’t believe she’s not 300 pounds,” I said.

“That is a little overboard isn’t it?” Dianne asked, rhetorically

We both laughed a little and shook our heads.

We watched The Pioneer Woman whip up the potatoes and set them aside.

“Now it’s time for my famous chicken fried steak, which cowboys just love,” Ree said and smiled at the camera again, dimples showing.

I rolled my eyes.

“How hasn’t anyone in that family had a heart attack?” I wondered out loud, the irony not lost on me since my aunt had had at least two heart attacks already. I hoped she didn’t take my comment as a personal jab at her.

“Well…..” Dianne said and shrugged a little, leaving the rest of her response to be guessed.

The Pioneer Woman drives me nuts with her fattening recipes but her chipper personality and knowing I can modify the recipes for a healthier option make looking away hard to do.

Next to me the Christmas tree was bright with lights and ornaments. Out the window Dad’s star was shining bright against the dreary winter clouds at the edge of the field and woods.

Before long, my aunt was asleep in her chair, chin into her chest. She’d been falling asleep a lot like that lately, sometimes almost in mid-sentence, and I knew her health was getting worse. So that day we enjoyed her when she was awake and tried not to think about how much longer we might have her with us.

A couple weeks before she’d been messaging me, asking me for gift suggestions for my son and daughter and I knew she was anxious to spoil them and see them smile as they opened their gifts. She was planning how to make sausage balls, a Southern tradition, without “poisoning me”, knowing I was allergic to corn and had also gone gluten free. I told her not to worry about me and simply make the treats for the rest of the family. I offered to make some as well so she wouldn’t have to do all the work.

We messaged back and forth and then I accidentally bumped the video chat button in messenger. The button is annoying and most days I hate it because I rarely want to video chat with anyone, especially via Facebook. I missed her call, but she tried to call me through the ap and her voice was recorded. It was only for 17 seconds, enough for me to hear her voice call my name, thinking I’d picked up. I didn’t discover it for a couple months, when she was already gone.

Sometimes, when I’m missing Dianne the most, I scroll back to the recording and listen to her call my name. Of course, I always cry.

When I first discovered the recording, I hit the play button without thinking. Her voice could be heard throughout our house and my son’s head lifted quickly. He looked at me in confusion and then we burst into tears.

My mom said many days Dianne could barely make it from the bathroom to her chair without needing to sit down and catch her breath, but she sat the kitchen table for hours that last Christmas and made the sausage balls, kneading the meat and flour and cheese together and rolling them to put in the oven to be cooked.

“She just seemed so delighted she could do that,” Mom remembered. She grew quiet and I saw tears in her eyes. “Well, anyhow…” her voice trailed off and I knew she was trying to stay happy and not bring the mood of the day down.

On my phone is a video of my aunt opening a gift from her grand-nephew, my son. She could barely catch her breath, but she seemed excited and hugged him and told her how much she loved the gift.

Four days later my husband’s phone rang, and I heard him from upstairs.

“No! Oh no!” I heard emotion heavy in his voice.

He came downstairs and held the phone against his chest.

“It’s your mom,” he said.

I didn’t want to take the phone, but I did.

“Dianne died,” Mom said in a voice mixed with sadness and shock.

She’d called my husband first to make sure someone was with me when I was told, just as she had when my grandmother had died 15 years before.

Though I knew it was coming my head still spun when she said it and I had to sit in the floor because my legs didn’t seem to want to hold me.

I sat in my parents living room the other day.

The chair was empty.

The Southern accent couldn’t be heard.

I couldn’t kiss her soft cheek or try to squirm away when she blew “zerberts” (messy, slobbery kisses) against my cheek.

I couldn’t feel her arms around me or hear her laugh when one of the kids said something funny.

Somehow it feels a lot less like Christmas this year with her gone.

Still, I know she would scold us for dreading gathering without her.

So, we’ve promised each other to cook the sausage balls, decorate the tree, wrap the gifts and to cook the collard greens I forgot to get her last year, even though she asked.

We will drink hot cocoa while we watch her favorite Christmas movies: “It’s A Wonderful Life” and the black and white version of “A Christmas Carol.”

We will share the funny stories and laugh as we remember her.

We will, somehow, find the joy in the midst of sadness and enjoy those who are still with us because that is exactly what she would have wanted us to do.

Soup and Story Saturday: Ham and bean soup

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings8 Comments

Last weekend, I made vegetable beef soup with some leftover beef roast, carrots, and potatoes. I intended to link up with Erin (Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs) Soup and A Story post on Saturday, but I didn’t seem to find time all day to sit down and write after visiting my parents for the day.

Then I forgot to finish the post this week, because Erin said I could add it whenever, but I am here for this Saturday at least.

When I have leftover beef, I always think of making veggie beef soup with it, maybe because I think that is what my mom always did.

I loved my mom’s veggie beef soup — much more than hamburger stew. Her hamburger stew was delicious, don’t get me wrong, but there was a texture to it because of the hamburger that always threw me off. I didn’t like the little bits of hamburger that broke off in the stew.

I can’t remember my mom making soups other than the hamburger stew and veggie soup when I was younger, but when I became an adult, she and my dad started to make ham and bean soup together and oh it was so good. They are older now with a lot of health issues, so they don’t make it very often anymore, but when they did, they had a tradition of sending containers over to the kids and me so we could have some too. In the same way they would send soup our way after they made it, I would send soup their way as well, if I made it.

(The Husband doesn’t really like soup unless it is in a can. Don’t ask. He’s weird like that.)

I remember Little Miss being very young and getting very excited when Grandpa and Grandma sent over soup.

Not my parents’ soup but somewhat close to the color.

Some children are excited by chicken nuggets or French Fries but my children scarfed down their grandparents’ soup like it was the best thing they ever tasted.

Our son would often say he’d have some soup later, but I always warned him to get it while he could because his sister was bound to eat it all and leave him with nothing. I always found it funny when three days after the soup was delivere,d he’d ask where it went.

As if that soup was going to stay around very long in this house! It was just too good!

My children love my parents’ ham and bean soup so much that one year they suggested we have it for Christmas dinner. I don’t remember if we did or not, but we might have had it for New Year’s instead.

I’ve always felt like I couldn’t compete with their soup, but over the years, mine has become pretty good so I’m not as intimidated anymore. Now that they can’t make it much, I have started trying to make it but I haven’t done much lately. I need to get around to make some as it is the perfect weather for it.

My parents also occasionally made chili and would send that over.

Soups that I have made in the past, besides vegetable beef soup, include sweet potato, ham and potato, chicken and rice, and chicken noodle.

I thought I’d share the recipe for my parents’ ham and bean soup today, as best as I can recall it.

First, you need to either get a whole ham (we like the Sugardale brand) or a ham hock and cook it down until the ham is crumbling or falling off the bone.

I use an Instant Pot to cook my ham. Cooking it in a pot on the stove or in a slow cooker works too. Keep some of the juice from the ham as well. Put that all in a pot with the butter beans.

My parents use Hanover brand butter beans, but you can use whatever brand you want. They use the ones already cooked because none of us seems to be able to cook them right.

It depends on how much soup you want to make, but they often use three 32-oz cans.

The cans usually come with salt already included so you don’t need to add more. They do add a little bit of garlic but otherwise they don’t put much seasoning. That can be added by the person eating it later.

From there, they also add onions and carrots. You cook the mixture until it becomes the consistency that works best for you and until the onions and carrots are tender, if you use fresh ones. If you want it to be more watered down, you can add some more water, but our family likes it a little bit thicke,r which comes when you cook the beans down so that the broth becomes thicker.

One trick my dad added over the years was adding turmeric, not for taste, but for color.

One time they added red peppers for color, and now we love it with the red peppers.

This one looks a little less thick or hearty than it usually is but once it cooks down it will become thicker. This is a batch my dad made a couple of years ago.

So your list of ingredients:

Ham or ham hock with ham on the bone still on it

64 to 96 oz of butter beans

Turmeric (just enough until it turns yellow)

1 to 2 two carrots sliced into medallions

1 sweet (Vidalia) onion (I don’t usually add onion)

1 to 2 sweet red peppers

You cook the soup until it looks and tastes like you want it so I can’t really give you a time frame. It does take at least one to two hours to cook the ham until it breaks apart enough to be added to the soup.

I cook the soup in the instapot so I add all of the ingredients at once, but I cook the ham or ham hock (you can also use a ham steak as long as it is tender).

I called Mom to double-check on this recipe before I shared it, and she said, “Do you have to make the soup for this post or just write about it?”

I took that as a hint that it is time for some ham and bean soup so that’s what I’ll be making this weekend and yes, I’ll be sending some to them.

What soups do you enjoy eating throughout the year, but especially in the winter?

If you write book reviews or book-related blog posts, don’t forget that Erin and I host the A Good Book and A Cup of Tea Monthly Bookish Blog Party. You can learn more about it here.

On Thursdays, I am part of the Weekend Traffic Jam Reboot blog link party. You can find the latest one in the sidebar to the right under recent posts.

I also post a link-up on Sundays for weekly updates about what you are reading, watching, doing, listening to, etc.

Hello! Welcome to my blog. I am a blogger, homeschool mom, and I write cozy mysteries.

You can find my Gladwynn Grant Mystery series HERE.

You can also find me on Instagram and YouTube.

7 Ways to slow down this Christmas season

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn Comfy, Cozy Christmas, everyday musings11 Comments

Do you ever find that the time around Christmas is super rushed and busy?

Maybe you or your children have a lot of activities around this time of year. Maybe you have a lot of family gatherings to attend.

Maybe you find it hard to find time to just slow down and enjoy all that this season is about.

I’m lucky, in some ways, that we don’t have as many obligations in my family. We have a very small family, so we only have one Christmas gathering to attend. My children are homeschooled, so there aren’t Christmas programs for them to perform in.

It might be easier for me to find the time to slow down and focus on the season than others, but even without obligations, life seems to get busy. The dishwasher smells funny, the cat is throwing up, the dog wants to go out (again), the youngest has a cold, the husband injured his foot, the cleaner that was supposed to start at the parents never showed up. All of this kept popping up even when I was trying to write this blog post!

There are always interruptions in life, especially at the holidays, and sometimes we feel like we have to keep jumping up and plugging our fingers in the holes popping up in the dam of life.

Really, though, we need the slowed down moments in our life to regain our strength for the busier times. During the Christmas season, we need to slow down to remember what Christmas is truly about — the birth of our Savior.

The moments where we slow down isn’t wasted time. It’s the most important time because it’s when we are really living. The slower moments are when we are really taking it all in; making memories our children and we will always remember.

So, without further ado, here are seven ways to slow down this Christmas/holiday season.

It goes without saying, by the way, that shutting off social media is the first way to regain your peace and find some slower, more relaxed moments. Social media will be there after your break. Don’t be afraid to shut it off. You won’t miss very much, if anything at all.

  1. Baking cookies or other Christmas goodies  with your kids or spouse or a friend or even by yourself.

Maybe you’re like me and you don’t bake often or baking stresses you out because you’re a perfectionist. This idea might not appeal to you but remember, you don’t have to get fancy when you bake. You also don’t have to bake from scratch. Most importantly, whatever you bake doesn’t have to be perfect.

Pick up a boxed mix and have some fun.

 Don’t know how to decorate cookies in a fancy way? Who cares! Just have fun figuring it all out and if your cookies are a mess that’s fine because they’ll take the same as they would if they were perfect.

I have baked a couple times with my daughter lately and it’s been fun as long as I can let go of needing things to be perfect. There’s something about the methodical movements of adding the ingredients, stirring the batter, and placing it on the tray that relaxes me. I don’t have to think of anything other than adding, mixing, and placing. It’s on those days when I can simply take my time that I understand why bakers love to bake.

If you’re going to choose cookies to bake,  YouTube is a great source for ideas and tips on how to make the cookies and decorate them.

Here are three that I found:

Then, when the cookies are done and decorated, eat a few, slowly, really tasting them and washing them down with your favorite (non-alcoholic. Ha!) beverage.

2. Make or buy Christmas cards you can write notes in and send them to a few special friends or family members.

While the cookies are baking, or on a day where you aren’t baking, it can be both fun and relaxing to pull out some Christmas cards and write notes inside addressed to friends or family you haven’t talked to in a while, or even ones you just spoke to.

Write a small, personal note inside and let them know they’ve been on your mind.

Here is where I hit a snag when I try to do this — if I make the cards, I want them to be perfect. This was especially true this year when I prepared one for a cousin who is a talented advertising designer.

I had to let that go, though, and simply enjoy the process of making the cards and writing the notes. Hey, maybe they’ll think my 11-year-old made the card and won’t judge. Ha! Hopefully they wouldn’t judge anyhow.

Be sure to play some Christmas music, light a scented candle, and maybe sip some eggnog or cocoa, while you create to get yourself in the Christmas spirit.

I’m not going to link any YouTube videos here, lest you compare yourself to some of the artists who create amazing cards. I’ll let you search them up yourselves.

3. Read a Christmas-themed novel or short story.

Find a classic Christmas novel or short story with a sweet, uplifting plot, then find a chair to sit in, lay a blanket across your lap, and settle down for a good read. Make it a real book, if you can.

There is something so special and grounding about holding an actual book in your hands, feeling the weight of it, the tangible texture of the pages against your fingers as you turn them, the smell of the ink.

If you can, light a candle or a fire in the fireplace/woodstove when you read, but be careful not to fall asleep.

4. Hold a family movie night.

Find a movie all of your family (or friends) will enjoy and make it an occasion. Set up the living room with cozy blankets, maybe even a blanket tent, some favorite snacks, cozy pajamas, stuffed animals and whatever else will make the movie night both fun and cozy.

Make it a movie that will make everyone laugh and feel excited about watching together.

Turn off the lights to make it feel like you are out at the theater, but without the crowds and high prices.

5. Decorate your house for the holidays.

You don’t have to go all out, but at least do a little decorating, even if it is a display in your living room. Set up some battery run candles or some garland or anything that will bring extra cheer to you while you relax, read, bake, or write in your journal.

 As you decorate listen to an entire album of either Christmas music or your favorite musician/singer/band. Instead of playing the album on your phone, pull out a CD or record. You can find record and CD  players online for very reasonable prices and listening to music the “old fashioned” way will be another way to immerse yourself in a less digitally connected time.

6. Journal each day of December. Write down at least three things that you are grateful for (and maybe keep that going for the rest of the year).

The “journal” can simply be a notebook from a dollar store. Something where you can write down your thoughts about what you are grateful for and don’t care if it is neat or not. Draw pictures in it or paste them in too. Actually get photographs printed out and add them to the journal even! Won’t that be a blast to the past for us older folk who used to paste photos or mementos in our journals instead of leaving the photographs in our phones?

Here is a YouTuber I found who designs and keeps journals:

7. Use an Advent Calendar.

An advent calendar is some way to countdown to Christmas. It is either a picture or object featuring windows where one window or door is opened each day leading up to Christmas. The phrase advent calendar comes from the German word Adventskalender.

Many Christians use the Advent calendar to countdown to Christmas as Jesus’ birthday.

An Advent calendar can slow you down because it leads you to take time out of your day to reflect on the meaning for the season. For our family the reason for the season is Jesus, while for others it might be family time or a time to reflect on all the good they’ve experience in the past year, or maybe work through all the bad. Using an advent calendar can be a way to bring the family together as well. It carves a small amount of time out for the family to sit down together and read the reading for the day together and talk about what it means to them.

Christmas is supposed to be a time of slowness and purposefulness.

This season is when we pause to remember the good of our lives and experience family togetherness, good will to men, and cheer brought to us by spending time with those we love.

 But it is also the time we honor the birth of our savior, the greatest gift of all. Jesus doesn’t ask us or want us to rush through this season so there’s no reason we should. I hope you can find your own pockets of stillness, peace, and calm this Christmas season.

This post is part of the Comfy, Cozy Christmas feature hosted by me and Erin at Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs. If you have a blog post that you would like to share as part of this annual link-up, please find out more here.

If you write book reviews or book-related blog posts, don’t forget that Erin and I host the A Good Book and A Cup of Tea Monthly Bookish Blog Party. You can learn more about it here.

Book recommendation: Christmas in Harmony

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn book reviews, books and reading, everyday musings10 Comments

I have only read one of the Harmony books by Phillip Gulley, but I loved it, so I last week I looked to see if there was a Christmas one in the series, and there are two Christmas novellas. I downloaded Christmas in Harmony to my Kindle and breezed through it. It was short, yes, but it was also so charming, sweet, and funny that I couldn’t put it down!

The Harmony series is about Sam Gardner, the pastor of a Quaker Church in the town of Harmony. In the first book, each chapter was essentially its own story, with some connections, but this book was connected a great deal as it relayed the story of troublemaker church member Dale Hinshaw, who decides the church should sponsor a “Progressive Living Nativity” for the Christmas season.

His plan keeps getting more out of hand when he suggests, first, that different parts of the nativity be held on the front lawns of church members, so participants will have to drive around town to get the next part of the story. Then he suggests sponsors for the event.

“This is what came from putting Dale Hinshaw in charge. The birth of Jesus was now compliments of Grant’s Hardware. . . . ‘Why don’t you see if Kivett’s will donate a toy doll,’ I suggested. ‘They look pretty close to the real thing.’ As soon as I said it, I regretted it. I had a vision of Dale painting This Year’s Messiah Compliments of Kivett’s Five and Dime on the other side of the manger.”

The relationship Sam has with his wife comes up more in this cute book and they are so funny together. She’s definitely not a pushover. She tells Sam she will not write his Christmas cards for him this year and also lets him know he’s not very good at gift giving, which is a theme throughout the novella.

He reminds her that when they were first married he bought her a bracelet that turned her wrist green. Instead of understanding that meant the bracelet was cheap, he thinks she’s allergic to jewelry.

There is a hilarious scene in the local store where the female owner tries to steer him toward a gift his wife would like but he’s completely oblivious.

“Racines suggests a silver picture frame to hold a picture of the boys. Levi and Addison don’t think so. ‘She spends a lot more time washing dishes than she does looing at pictures,’ Levi points out. I look down at my sons and beam with pride. That they have mastered the subtleties of gift giving at such a tender age thrills me. Racine sighs and wraps the pot scrubbers.”

There are so many funny moments in this short book but also so many poignant lessons.

“He grew quiet, remembering. You close your eyes in a dead-still room and rewind the tape. Revisit snatches of time. A late summer day with your father on the porch. You are eight years old, he is your world. Spin forward. Taking your daughter by her hand, setting her on Santa’s lap. Sorting through the Christmas trees, searching for perfection. Coming home after midnight from the Christmas Eve service, carrying your little girl up the stairs tucking her in, then staying up to set presents under the tree.”

“Christmas, I tell my wife, is not the time to hold back. It is the bold stroke, the song in the silence the red hat in a gray-suit world.”

I loved so much of this book. The sweet messages about what Christmas is all about is wrapped neatly in a package of humor, lovely prose, and heartwarming narrative.

Bonus points? If you are trying to meet your goal of the year and need a short book — this should be your choice.

This post is part of the Comfy, Cozy Christmas feature hosted by me and Erin at Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs. If you have a blog post that you would like to share as part of this annual link-up, please find out more here.

If you write book reviews or book-related blog posts, don’t forget that Erin and I host the A Good Book and A Cup of Tea Monthly Bookish Blog Party. You can learn more about it here.

Saturday Afternoon Chat: Turns out the new kitten is not a girl…ooops.

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings12 Comments

This past week was all thrown off by the Thanksgiving holiday and by all thrown off I mean I didn’t know what day it was most of the week.

Thursday felt like Friday, and yesterday felt like Saturday.

Here we are on actual Saturday, though, and The Husband is in a play this afternoon.

It’s a Christmas play — It’s A Wonderful Life. He was in it last year as well. It’s a “radio play” so they have scripts to help them along.

I was originally going to see the second performance tomorrow afternoon, but plans changed, and I am going today.

Yesterday and today Little Miss had her friend over for a sleepover. They made videos and ran around a lot and bounced on the air mattress we have for them to sleep on in our living room.

On Thursday, we all went over to my parents for Thanksgiving dinner. The Husband got up early that morning to start the turkey and later in the day I made sweet potato soup and mashed potatoes.

Little Miss wanted the sweet potato soup and had been asking for it for weeks, but when it came to dinner she filled up on turkey and never did eat it. My mom and I really enjoyed it, at least, and there was some left over for Little Miss to have some today.

The Boy ate a ton of food that day, which is very unusual for him. He’s not a big eater. He ate so much he was almost in a coma when it was time to go home a few hours later.

We watched The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring, after dinner — well, part of it because The Boy and Little Miss had watched part of it earlier in the day. It is the extended version. Whew.

That morning, we discovered the young cat that had either been dropped off at our house or found its way to our house was not the girl we thought it was.

The Husband lifted her up that morning and discovered she had grown appendages “she” didn’t have before, which means the spaying appointment I set up will now be neutering appointment. We are sticking with the name Cas as it will work with either a boy or a girl.

This is the first boy cat we’ve had in 15 years but growing up I had almost all boy cats. It will be nice to have a boy cat again.

He’s fitting in well, but it does explain why all the other animals were sniffing his backside the other day. This must have been a rather recent development. Hmmmm..

Anyhow…moving on.

It looks like we could have our first snowstorm of the season by Tuesday. Forecasters still aren’t confident enough to say how much we might get, but some are saying “plowable” which I guess would be at least eight inches. Things could definitely change by then, though.

When we get snow here I am usually stranded until it melts because our driveway is so steep. I’m also much less confident driving in snow than I used to be. If my parents need me, though, all bets are off. They live about seven minutes down the road and I’m sure I could make it that far. Or hopefully.

I wouldn’t mind being snowed in this week, though. I love having an excuse not to leave the house. I like to make a cup of cocoa, get under a blanket with my rice pack, and watch an old movie like I did yesterday. It was so relaxing.

So what have you been doing?

Anything exciting?

I hope you can find time to do something you want to do today or this week!


Saturday Afternoon Chat: Cat update, why is chamomile in every tea mix, and going old school with music, books, etc.

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings10 Comments

Good afternoon from chilly Pennsylvania.

I’m under a blanket as I write this while my 11-year-old daughter rips around the room on a hoverboard, my dog stares at me because she thinks I’m going to give her some of the chicken I was eating (I’m not. It’s gone.), and my husband rushes around the house cleaning because he is neater than I am.

Where is my 19-year-old son? Sleeping most likely.

At the end of his school career, I told him to take his time figuring out his next step in life, and he has taken that advice very seriously. *wink*

I’m about to make myself a cup of peppermint tea with local raw honey. (Update: The Husband made it for me.). I had to go back to peppermint after I tried an elderberry mixed tea that had so many other ingredients in it that it simply made me sick. One tea that makes me feel gross — small headache and icky stomach gross — is chamomile and it is in every single tea I get lately.

Elderberry blackberry? Yup..chamomile.

Apple Cinnamon Spice? Yup…chamomile.

Even the cold infusion ones add chamomile. What is the obsession with chamomile with these tea companies? Gah! Give me something without chamomile. Thank you very much!

Small, unimportant rant over.

This past week was uneventful and apparently gave me plenty of time to ponder tea concoctions and their overabundance of chamomile.

I worked on the fourth book in the Gladwynn Grant series, finally buckling down when even my own parents started asking me where the book was. To make sure I am on track my mom asked me yesterday, “You’re working on the book, right?” That isn’t exactly how she phrased it but close.

I told her I was. I even participated in a two-hour writing sprint with an author I follow to make sure I got a few hundred words in. I hope to have it out in February.

On Friday, The Boy, Little Miss and I went on a drive to get some more hours in for The Boy’s permit.

One of the main streets to get out into town involves a very challenging intersection where it is difficult to see around cars parked at a local bar and grill. The Boy pulled out, and a car came around the corner very fast, essentially almost out of nowhere, and we were almost t-boned. Miss New Jersey was non-too happy and let us know with a horn and a middle finger.

She, however, was most likely speeding around the corner, like most cars are.

What’s silly is that we always go out that way when there is another street we could go up and then around on to get to the same street. Instead, we all arrive at that intersection, our stomachs in knots and worrying we are going to get hit by a car or one of the many tractor trailers that come blazing around that corner. I don’t know why we haven’t, in the five years we’ve lived here, learned to go up and around, but we haven’t. I, however, am going to start doing that because I don’t relish the idea of being slammed into on the driver’s side by drivers who refuse to slow down.

The rest of our drive to a small town about ten minutes away was uneventful. There is nothing in the town to visit so we simply went there, turned around, and drove home, trying to figure out the speed limit on the stretch of highway right next to our local state police barracks.

My dad tells me it’s 55 unless otherwise marked but I don’t trust our local state police to hold to that old adage and figure they’d tell us it was marked a mile back and we were breaking the law.

One driver decided the speed limit should be more as they passed us while we were going 55 but at least the driver did it in a legal passing zone. It offered yet another learning opportunity by reminding The Boy to let up on the accelerator when someone passes so they can get by whether they are doing it legally or not. No need to create even more of a potential for an accident.

Before I forget, I’ve been mentioning in various blog posts that we had a cat with an injured back paw and were going to be taking her to the vet. Luckily, she started walking again normally right before we were supposed to take her and seems to be doing fine now. It took two weeks for her foot to heal completely.

As for the kitten who was dropped off at our house, or somehow found us, we are keeping her and will be getting he spayed in December. Please pray with me that she doesn’t find a boyfriend in that timeframe and become “in the family way” shall we say. I would prefer not to have a litter of kittens to find a home for before we get her spayed.

She is a crazy cat who likes to climb the glass door in our living room for some odd reason. She also yowls a lot, hides under chairs and tries to grab our feet when we walk by, and annoys the older cats just by breathing and being in the house.

Jumping subjects again but AI — yeah….I am not a fan. Not in the least. This week I found out the top song in Christian music right now is an AI artist.

I became physically ill at that news and at the people defending it by saying God can use anything to get his message across.

People, listen to me. AI is Artificial Intelligence. There is no soul behind it. There is no human who is expressing their worshipful praise to our Heavenly Father.

There is simply a computer mimicking other songs and, to me, mocking what true worship should be.

This is horrific to me, and I will not be listening to AI worship music at anytime. I am so worried that real artists will start to use it too which, again, makes me sick to my stomach.

On the same wavelength, I am so disgusted with indie authors or traditional publishing houses who are using AI created images to portray humans on the covers of books. Stop it. Just please. Not only do these fake models have nothing behind their eyes — no soul, no feeling, nothing — the photos look cheesy as all get out.

I will not pick a book up with a cover like that because who knows if the person really wrote what is inside.

Now, I am not including illustrated books in this rant. My Gladwynn book covers have illustrated art that I put there piece by piece. Many other designers do the same. This doesn’t bother me, even if I am not a huge fan of all the animated/illustrated romance covers out there.

The AI looking faces with their soulless stares creep me out to no end.

And the advertisers using AI models for ads where someone is speaking? Stop that too. I’m so disturbed.

I am also not a fan, in the least, of AI audiobooks and will not buy them. If I see an indie author has offered one of their books for sale as an audiobook, I always listen to see if the voice sounds like a real person. If it doesn’t, I’m out.

All of this AI creation and AI pushing has led me even further into the desire to go old school in my life. My husband and I have a huge collection of CDs and we have a record player/CD player/cassette player/radio that we can use to play those CDs. It’s nice to have the songs on my phone too but sometimes I just want the phone to be put away so I can pretend I’m in the 90s again without the crazy hair-sprayed bangs.

I find myself reaching for old music, old movies, and old books, knowing they were not created with AI. Sure, some of the old music might include auto tune or changes by a computer but at least it started out with a real human.

Old movie makers might have used practical effects to create scenes but, again, those were real humans figuring out how to set it all up to create the look our outcome they wanted. It wasn’t someone being lazy and punching a bunch of information into a computer and waiting to see what it spit out.

I’m worried about AI and what it means to our future and our humanity, as you can clearly see. I’m doing all I can to stay away from AI and use my brain and hope to make my children do the same, especially after I heard this week that developers are trying to create AI friends for children. Oh heck no. It’s hard for my daughter to find friends while being homeschooled but I will send her to public school before I will ever let her have an “AI friend.” That’s like opening up the portal to hell to me.

I’m done with my rant now. Ha!

Now I am going to go read a physical book (even though I do still enjoy my Kindle), sip some peppermint tea with no chamomile, and later watch a movie made before 1960 to help me feel a little more grounded.

What are  you going to do to feel more grounded on this fine Saturday afternoon? Or whatever day/afternoon it is when you read this?

If you write book reviews or book-related blog posts, don’t forget that Erin and I host the A Good Book and A Cup of Tea Monthly Bookish Blog Party. You can learn more about it here.

On Thursdays, I am part of the Weekend Traffic Jam Reboot blog link party. You can find the latest one in the sidebar to the right under recent posts.

I also post a link-up on Sundays for weekly updates about what you are reading, watching, doing, listening to, etc.

Hello! Welcome to my blog. I am a blogger, homeschool mom, and I write cozy mysteries.

You can find my Gladwynn Grant Mystery series HERE.

You can also find me on Instagram and YouTube.

Movie impression : The Storied Life of AJ Fikry

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn Comfy, Cozy Cinema 2025, everyday musings, Movie Impresssions6 Comments

Erin from Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs and I watched movies again this year for Comfy, Cozy Cinema

For our last movie we watched The Storied Life of AJ Fikry (2022).

The movie is based on the book of the same name by Gabrielle Zevin.

The story follows AJ Fikry (Kunal Nayyar), the owner of a small bookstore who lost his wife years earlier. He now lives a lonely existence and drinks himself into a stupor at least once a week. He’s also quite grumpy to everyone around him.

A book seller named Amelia and played by Lucy Hale, stops to sell him books and he brushes her off, overcome with depression.

Later that night he drinks himself into a stupor while looking at a collectible Edgar Allan Poe pamphlet/book that he hopes to one day sell to keep himself afloat.

When he wakes up in the morning the book is gone so he runs to the police station where he meets Chief Lambaisse (David Arquette). He has a panic attack in the police station and is sent to the hospital where the doctor suggests he exercise more. He does start running again, which he used to do before.

After awhile it is determined that the book cannot be found and AJ is distraught but moves on with his life. One day he comes home from a run and finds a toddler in his shop with a note pinned to her shirt, asking for him to take care of her.

Later the child’s mother is found dead, so AJ adopts her and his life begins to change.

The movie will eventually come full circle in many ways and the mystery of where the little girl, Maya, came from weaves in and out of the plot.

The movie also starts Scott Foley and Christina Hendricks.

I didn’t find this movie comfy or cozy in some parts, but in others it was those things because it showed friendships being formed, romantic love blooming, and new love coming alive for a man who felt his life had ended and he had no future.

The acting was outstanding and there was a ton of deep thinking produced by almost every scene.

Disclaimer: there were a few difficult subjects in this movie and I am only sharing this just to give a heads up to anyone who is uncomfortable with subjects like infidelity, miscarriages, suicide and cancer deaths (none of these are focused on extensively or in great detail). This movie was much less cozy to me than other movies we’ve watched in the past and I share that just so my blog readers are not totally blindsided.

I found a few facts and trivia I enjoyed reading about the movie, but did not find as many as I did for other movies. Maybe because this was a quieter movie that wasn’t a huge “blockbuster”? I’m not sure.

  • Kunal Nayyar also played Raj Koothrappali in The Big Bang Theory where he and Howard Wolowitz discuss the correct pronunciation of “Halley’s comet”, which is talked about in this movie. (Source IMdb)
  • This was David Arquette and Scott Foley’s second time working with each other. They previously worked together on Scream 3 (2000).(Source IMdb)
  • This story is called by some a modern retelling of the classic “Silas Marner” by George Eliot.

Erin expresses the message and feel of this movie in a much better way than I am able to so please check out her post here:.

This brings us to the end of our Comfy, Cozy Cinema. I hope you all had fun following us along!

You can find my impressions of the other movies here: https://lisahoweler.com/movie-reviews-impressions/

Nancy Drew November

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings11 Comments

This November I am holding my own Nancy Drew November event and plan to read six Nancy Drew books. I probably will really only get to three, but I’m being ambitious and saying six.

The books I picked out for the event are:

Pure Poison

The Triple Hoax

The Whispering Statue

The Mystery of the Fire Dragon

Nancy’s Mysterious Letter

The Clue in the Jewel Box

I am going to start with The Mystery of the Fire Dragon.

I will also be watching the Nancy Drew-centered episodes from the second season of The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries show from the 1970s.

Have you read any of these books?

If you want to join in with me in reading the books or watching the show feel free!

If you write book reviews or book-related blog posts, don’t forget that Erin and I host the A Good Book and A Cup of Tea Monthly Bookish Blog Party. You can learn more about it here.

Hello! Welcome to my blog. I am a blogger, homeschool mom, and I write cozy mysteries.

You can find my Gladwynn Grant Mystery series HERE.

You can also find me on Instagram and YouTube.

Saturday Afternoon Chat: What comments on a semi-viral post about Angela Lansbury tell me about today’s society and specifically men

On By Lisa R. HowelerIn everyday musings, Saturday Afternoon Tea8 Comments

A couple of weeks ago, I uploaded a clip of Angela Lansbury becoming emotional when talking about the cancellation of Murder, She Wrote.

The show was canceled in 1996 and this interview was conducted that same year. Maybe six months later.

It was on 60 Minutes and Leslie Stahl was the interviewer.

I showed maybe 30 seconds of that interview on a reel on Instagram and it also posted to Facebook.

Before I knew it I had thousands of views and hundreds of comments on both platforms.

Most of the comments were extremely sweet and reflected on pleasant memories of the show. Men and women remembered watching it with their grandparents, watching it themselves, or just starting to watch the reruns now.

Many expressed sadness that the cancellation hit Angela Lansbury so hard. It was hard for them to see Angela crying.

Murder, She Wrote ran for 12 seasons on Sunday nights CBS before being moved around a few times in its last season.

There are different theories as to why the show was moved, but whatever the theory, it essentially killed viewership, as loyal fans no longer knew where to find the show.

After 12 years, Angela, who was now a producer of the show and the star — playing mystery writer and amateur sleuth Jessica Fletcher — had been told her show was over.

No amount of letter writing from fans would help. The production ended and Angela, doing an interview very shortly after the cancellation, was still emotional.

In the 30-second clip I showed, Angela teared up talking about it and had to reach for a cup of tea and then a glass of water to keep her emotions in check.

While most comments were supportive of Angela, there were other callous, unsympathetic, and downright rude comments left, and I couldn’t figure out why. Those who commented actually seemed angry at Angela for crying.

Many of those comments focused on how long the show ran.

Almost all of them had poor punctuation so they read like this: what’s her problem? it ran 12 years come on get over yourself lady

It ran for 12 years lol nothing to be sad about

12 years. Over 200 shows. Get a grip woman, you had a good run

And this one was the worst I got out of more than 20 comments like the ones above: She was an aging hag. And all her alcoholic actress friends were on the show looking rancid.

Another horrible one I deleted very fast called her a classy lady who was “being classless by crying.”

There is one thing every single one of the mean, nasty, and rude comments had in common.

They were almost all written by men or people with profile photos that showed they were men.

These men had a very big problem with a woman showing emotion.

It was so uncomfortable to see chauvinism happening right in front of my eyes.

Something about a woman over a certain age crying just set them off.

There were a few semi-rude comments from women on both platforms, but most of those comments were more encouraging like they felt bad she was sad, but it was a good run.

I was surprised, though, by the men who felt the compulsion to stop their scrolling, pause on this reel, and take the time to comment something ignorant.

Yes, 12 years is a long time for a show to run, and Angela knew it. It was the way the show was cancelled that hit her so hard.

The show had become special to her and beloved by millions. It was a wonderful escape from life on a Sunday night.

I  mentioned these comments and how many of them were men to my friend Erin, and we agreed that they were misogynistic comments, one, and that, two, people can no longer handle emotion because so much of our world is fake, even the emotion.

I shared this with her in an Instagram chat: “What people don’t seem to get is this interview was held shortly after it all happened. Her emotions were raw. She was sad. It is called human emotion. The issue is that we now live in a world where we watch videos all the time where people use fake emotions to manipulate people, so when somebody is faced with real emotions, they don’t understand it, and they recoil from it. They think it’s another manipulation attempt. That’s the real big problem with technology and social media. It has warped our humanity. It has made us question human visceral reactions that are real in a way that we start to hate the people who have legit emotions.”

And hate is an accurate word based on the comments. These people were angry about a woman crying. Not just confused or questioning. Many of the comments, which I couldn’t quote here, were legit full of rage over an older woman with tears in her eyes, experiencing real sadness.

I started deleting the comments, not because I don’t support free speech or do support censorship, but because the comment section was full of people connecting in a positive way through nostalgia about a show that had positive memories for them.

Many commentators remembered watching the show with their grandparents or parents, many of those people now passed on.

Many agreed that 12 years was a good run, but they related to Angela’s sadness at how it all happened, at how moving the show was a horrible way to end the show and marred its legacy.

Of course, we know now that it didn’t really ruin the legacy of the show, which is still popular in reruns. At that time, though, Angela felt it was a horrible ending for a wonderful time in her life.

I’m going to keep deleting those horrible comments, whether from men or women, not because people aren’t allowed to have an opinion but because these comments were meant to strike at the pleasant memories of others and inject negativity into positivity.

I just don’t have patience for that anymore.