My dad tells the story this way:

One night in 1961 or so my dad’s roommate in the Air Force came into the room and said, “there’s someone I want you to meet…Hey, I’m going on a date but my date has a niece with her so we’re going to go on a double date.”

The niece was a year younger than the aunt, incidentally, so she was about 17.

“Hurry up,” the roommate said. “Iron your pants and let’s go.”

This was in North Carolina. Seymour Johnson Air Force Base.

So my dad headed out with them and met my mom (the 17-year-old) in the backseat of a 1948 Ford coup (not meant to be as suggestive as it sounds..)

“Pontiac engine and three deuces,” he told me when I double-checked the make and year of the car.

Mom and Dad were the best man and maid of honor when the roommate (Johnny) and the aunt (Peggy) were married. Two years later, Johnny and Peggy would have been their best man and matron of honor but Peggy was eight months pregnant and living in Mississippi at the time. My parents were married in the home of a minister someone or other knew and had a small celebration at her parents in Kinston, N.C. afterward.

Six years later my brother was born and three years later my sister was born early and passed away only two days later. I came along eight years after my brother.

(As an aside to this story, my son and daughter are also eight years apart and I had a miscarriage in between. Mine was very early.)

Two weeks ago we celebrated my parents and their 60 years of marriage.

We held a small celebration at a renovated drug store (circa early 1900s building) down the street from our house.

Friends and family came out to congratulate them on a long marriage, which is often unheard of these days.

Our local state representative came and honored them with a proclamation from the Pennsylvania House of Representatives and then she also recognized my dad for his service in the United States Air Force.

“What’s the key to a long marriage?” Rep. Tina Pickett asked my parents.

My dad said it helps to have a sweet wife. My mom said that having God in their marriage had been incredibly important and necessary and helped them through the tough times.

And there were tough times – maybe not with the marriage itself but in our family with finances and loss and times of emotional hurt that we all worked through like any family.

I never had what I would call trauma in my childhood and for that I’m thankful.

I’ve always looked at my parents’ marriage as a perfect example of what marriage should really be. There was give and take, communication, and a lot of affection – sometimes more affection than I cared to see as a teenager and young adult.

Now, don’t get me wrong, my parents were never crude in front of us but they didn’t shy away from a kiss, a hug, or a mildly suggestive comment about their romantic life.

No marriage is perfect but my parents’ marriage has been close.

There were times they snapped at each other.

Times they both may have held a grudge.

Times they were both stubborn (though Dad is more stubborn than Mom).

My mom cared for the home for most of their marriage while Dad worked 40 years for a local block and cement delivery company.

Mom was always there when I needed her but Dad was there for me and my brother, Bryan, as well when he was home from work.

Through my parents showing each other love, Bryan and I learned how to treat our spouses.  

Several years ago Dad planted a rose bush in the backyard for Mom. He gives her cards and special meaningful gifts on her birthday and their anniversary, and even for no reason at all. Now that they are older and she has a hard time getting around he cares for her by pushing her in the wheelchair or helping to make the meals.

About five years ago he helped her track her calories so she could lose over 100 pounds.

It’s been hard to watch them grow older in some ways. Watching them both struggle to do what they used to be able to do makes my heart ache. There are days I would give anything for them to not have to go through the trials and pains of growing older. I’m sure they would do the same for me and my brother.

Watching them hold hands and exchange sweet looks with each other during their anniversary party and during other times throughout the years though helps dull that ache.

I don’t know what the future holds but in the present, there is love that has grown and blossomed. That love has broken through darkness. It has spread light not only because of my parents love for each other but also because of their love for Christ.

My parents have shown what it is to be a Christian and they are a hundred times better than me at following the example of Jesus.

In the days before it was dangerous to pick up hitchhikers (or as dangerous) Dad would bring home someone he picked up off the streets to give them a warm meal and a place to sleep.

There were many trips somewhere that were delayed because he and Mom saw a car along the road and wanted to stop and make sure the person was okay. Just last week Dad and I were on our way back from his physical therapy when we saw a vehicle pulled off in a very strange and dangerous spot in the road. I felt that urge to check on the person because it was how I was raised. I said, “That’s a weird place to park.”

Dad said, “They didn’t even have their flashers on.”

We both knew I was going to find a place to turn around. When we went back the car was gone and we were late getting home but we did what Jesus would have wanted us to do  – check on another person and make sure they aren’t hurting somehow.

My parents have become friends over the years with several people who struggle with mental illness. While I often feel frustrated with these individuals, my parents see them through the eyes of Jesus. They want to help them, save them, offer them some respite from their emotional struggles.

This has left my parents open to being taken advantage of and maybe even opened them up to dangerous situations. I have asked them to stop reaching out to and befriending so many who struggle with mental illness, but their response is always, “There is that verse in the Bible  ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” (Matthew 25:40)

Not too long ago someone asked Dad, “Where do you find all these broken people you seem to know?”

Dad responded, “All you have to do is look around. They’re all around you.”

He’s right. Our world is full of broken and lost people. This is not a fact that was lost on Jesus and it also hasn’t been lost on my parents.

They’ve reached out when I turned away.

They’ve comforted when I have condemned.

They’ve given when I would have withheld

They’ve loved like Jesus loves.

They have instilled in me the potential to love as unconditionally as they do.

Through their dedication to each other, to the broken and the lost, they have shown me, my brother, my husband, their grandchildren, and countless other people the heart of Jesus.

No one is perfect and they have not been perfect throughout their lives (though they have been fairly close at times).

Whatever faults they have had, however, have been overshadowed by their love for each other, for their family, friends, the lost, the brokenhearted, the downtrodden, the bruised, the mentally disturbed, the physically frail, the outcasts, the rejected, the people the world pushes asides and shuns, and anyone else who Jesus told us to love.

God knew what he was doing when he brought these two together.

He knew that through their marriage hundreds, if not thousands, would be touched, would be changed and in many cases would be saved.

Their lives, joined together in marriage, have had a ripple effect that we have not seen the end of.

For every couple they encouraged there is a family who is thankful their family is still intact.

For every child they encouraged there is an adult who has found fulfilment in life and has gone on to have families of their own.

For every dollar they spent to support a Christian message, there are souls thirsting after God and ready to be in heaven one day.

More importantly, their marriage has created a legacy for their children and grandchildren, nieces and nephews – something to strive for and a goal to reach.

May we all be able to love our spouses like they have loved each other, but even more importantly may we all endeavor to emulate Christ the way they have for the past 60 years.