I’m sorry my house isn’t clean, we were doing important things.

We spent our morning looking for rolly pollies. We made them a home in a plastic container and searched and searched until we found one to live there.

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Last night we mixed brownies without eggs because we were out but she thought it would be fun anyhow. Then we ate brownie goo before bed.

The other day we spent the morning looking for just the right Lego pieces for a Lego animation he was making. Then we watched the movies he created when it was done, after hours of setting up individual scenes.

We spent one afternoon in the yard digging a hole and another collecting rocks we can paint this summer and then and hide in places people will find them and hopefully smile.

One day we painted on canvases. Actually we were supposed to paint on canvases but most of the paint ended up on clothes and the back porch floor.

And then one day I realized my house was a mess and I hadn’t heard some things.

I hadn’t heard someone say, in a mocking tone, “cleanliness is next to Godliness” while sneering at my mess. I didn’t hear the voice inside my head telling me I would be a better mom if my kids were involved in five different activities or if we spent our vacations in Hawaii or at Disney.

I couldn’t hear the words “Germs! Germs! Wash those hands or they’ll get germs!”

And I somehow missed all those articles with titles like “Five Things You Should Never Let Your Children Do” or “Three Reasons No One Likes You” or “Ten Reasons You Never Reached Your Dreams” or “Ten Organic Foods You Should Be Feeding Your Children.”

I was simply too busy doing important things with my kids to worry about what other people thought I should do.

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I tend to think those days are the best days of all and that more mothers should have more of them, more often.

Adventures of Zooma the Wonder Dog: The Escape

This is part of a series about Zooma The Wonder Dog. You can find the first post >>>>here.

Yesterday I woke Daddy up even earlier than the other day. He was grumpy but told me it was OK because I’m just a baby and eventually I’ll let him sleep in.

I laughed.

He’s pretty clueless sometimes.

He passed me off to Plaything One and went somewhere he calls “work” or “the job”. Plaything One’s eyes were barely open and he stumbled to the couch to turn on that box with all the noise.

I spent my morning eating anything and everything I could find off the floor and barking at Beast, as I have come to call it. It mainly sits and scowls at me but today it slapped me several times in the head when I chased it in the yard. Beast slips through the opening in the back door while The Humans grumble and say things like “Dang it, cat!”
Cat.

That’s a funny word.

Caaaat. I don’t like it.

Sounds like a dirty word I shouldn’t say so I don’t think I will.

Today I chased Beast all around the yard and she smacked me a lot.

It was hilarious.

She doesn’t know it but she’s my buddy. I just know she’s going to love me one day.

DSC_5247I slipped through the holes in that big thing with the white poles a lot today.

Every time it happened Mommy said, “Zooma” in the same tone she speaks to Plaything Two when it climbs up on a stool to get down the scissors Mommy keeps “hiding” in the cupboard.

But Mommy can’t reach me because she’s too chunky and old to climb the white thing and there isn’t a door on that side so Plaything One has to climb over and try to catch me while I run and laugh.

On Saturday I slipped the fence several times and decided to head toward that noisy place that Mommy calls a road. She yelled and waved her arms and said something about “no…road…stop…” but I saw a dog over across that noisy place and I knew if I just escape mommy I could find it.

Mommy is no fun. She scooped me up and put something on me she called a harness and said I can’t go outside without it until I’m fat enough not to be able to fit through the fence anymore.

I ran so much on Saturday that I fell over in the middle of the kitchen floor and fell asleep, not even waking up when Plaything One and Plaything Two stomped back and forth with mud all over their feet from digging a huge hole in the side yard.

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The Adventures of Zooma The Wonder Dog: The bunny

I’ve been sharing little stories on my personal Facebook page about our new puppy Zooma from her perspective and thought I’d start sharing them on the blog as well because I think Zooma would think “it’s hilarious.”

May 3, 2018

This morning I woke daddy up at 6 a.m. by licking his face all over with my tongue.

Mommy says my tongue feels like wet air because it’s so tiny.

Daddy wasn’t very happy with being woke up but took me into the backyard so I could do my potty time.
Back inside Daddy wanted me to go back to sleep but I knew it was time to explore, lick, dig, run and slide across the floor and then chase that big, fat, black and furry thing with the sharp things on her feet. It’s fun trying to see how close I can get to her before she tries to claw my tiny eyes out.

I spent the morning listening to Daddy grumble about how tired he was and how much he needed something called coffee and then I ran up the stairs to find Mommy and my playthings.

DSC_3610_1One of them likes to squeal and scream when I nip at it’s legs. It’s hilarious. The other one shouts “No! No, Zooma! No!” Also hilarious.

When the taller Plaything took me in the backyard for another potty time I found fur and some squishy stuff that tasted good and was fun to roll in.

This resulted in Plaything One flailing and screaming and chasing me around the yard yelling “That’s so gross! Drop it! It’s a dead bunny! Oh my gosh! Zooooommmaaa!”

Plaything One stole my treat and it was back in the house to chase big, fat black beast again while Daddy staggered around with a cup of that coffee stuff and a scowl and then left to clean up the fur and squishy stuff so I couldn’t have it anymore. I heard him tell Mommy he felt awful because he’d apparently run over a bunny nest with the lawn mower. I hope he does that again. That treat was fun and tasty.

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I spent the rest of my day napping off and on, because I’m just a baby and I like to sleep, with a few moments of ripping paper and dragging it around the house in between while Mommy and the Playthings tell me to “Drop it. Drop it. Droooooooop it.”

It’s hilarious.

 

Even fat moms read the Bible

Recently I didn’t have any models for my stock photography so I decided to make myself a model, as uncomfortable as I was with that idea. I plopped myself in front of the camera with my intention to capture only my hands holding my Bible or at least being able to crop it that way.

But when I looked at my arms in the photos I thought “Oh gosh. I’m so fat. I can’t believe how fat I’ve gotten.”

And it’s true.

I’m fat.

Partially from poor decisions and partially from auto immune conditions I can’t seem to get a handle on. Five years ago I lost 30 pounds in three months and I’ve only recently re-started the lifestyle change that helped me get there, so we’ll see how this latest journey goes, but until then, I’m just fat. Not running myself down. It’s just where I am. Not big boned. Just fat.

Many of the photos in the Christian stock agency I submit to feature young, skinny women reading their Bibles, I guess because the idea is that only young, in shape women need God. Of course I know the photographers or stock agencies aren’t really thinking that when they take or approve the photos but the thought is there, subconsciously, even in my own mind: fat women don’t sell.

We just don’t. Right?

But guess, what, maybe we do because not every woman out there is a size four. Some of us are struggling and we may know we need to lose the weight but no matter what we do it isn’t working. Maybe it’s a medical issue blocking the weight loss or maybe it’s emotional pain but either way losing the weight is a battle and we are in the middle of it.

And what I thought when I saw those photos, after the initial depression and decision that I wouldn’t submit the images, “well, even fat moms read the Bible.”

Though the agency I work with is fairly diverse and offering a few more photos of the old and the fat, I don’t know if some in the Christian advertising world have caught on yet. So many are focused on catering to the Millenials, they’ve forgotten that there are a huge segment of Christians who don’t know what a Instagram is. There is also a segment (notice I left out the word “huge” here) of Christians who are struggling with their appearance in a world where they are told constantly they are only worthy if they shop a certain place, wear a certain size or have a certain amount of money.

DSC_6864This is where we are right now – us women who fight with our weight – and we need to read that Bible as much as the 21-year old skinny girl does. That 21-year old blond may look like she has it all together but she’s in need of a savior as much as the fat mom who cries in the closet with a pint of Haagen-daz when she looks at photos of herself. The only difference is the fat mom may find a bit more judgement because of how she looks and how she has “let herself go.”

Christ loves us no matter our size or what the world thinks of us, but sometimes it’s hard to remember that when a large majority of the Christian images we see in Christian or church publications are of young men or women wearing skinny jeans and hipster hats. Does the Kingdom belong only to the young and fashionable? I tend to think not.

DSC_6932While the youth of today may dismiss what they see as the old fashioned and out of touch ideas of the older generation, the older generation are also a driving force of the Kingdom.

And that younger generation will one day be the older generation and they will one day have to deal with the sagging chests and the expanding bottoms and, as author and speaker Lysa Terkurst says, the missing “thigh gap.”

No matter our size or our age we are all a part of the kingdom of God.

Maybe it is time the Christian advertising industry started to reflect that a little better.