The Do Nothing Summer

We really haven’t done anything this summer and I’ve felt guilty about it, but part of the time it couldn’t be helped.

This has been a fairly hot, humid summer and going outside to frolic in the fields hasn’t really been an option. Of course, one has to be cautious about frolicking in fields around here anyhow with all the Lyme Disease carrying ticks that our county has. The number of people we know hitting their beds due to Lyme is a bit overwhelming. My dad has been one of them and is frustrated with the exhaustion that often hits him.

We haven’t really visited playgrounds (okay, we’ve gone to two), or gone to the local pool near us (probably because my dad installed a large one at his house), visited the local libraries (probably because I always lose library books and end up paying for them) or had a fancy vacation (because we are poor). Quite frankly, we’ve been slugs.

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We still have a month before school starts, so hopefully, we can pack in some fun days before then. In the midst of trying to squeeze in some fun activities, I’m also researching additional homeschool curriculum since I plan to start homeschooling on August 26, something my son isn’t super thrilled with.

Homeschooling has been a blessing to us so far, even on the tough days. It’s been nice to be able to visit my parents even on school days, instead of visiting them only on the weekends. My son is able to spend days and nights with my parents while my dad teaches him life skills, such as do it yourself projects. My dad is either teaching my son or using him to help complete some projects around the house, either way, it’s a good learning experience for him.

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This summer my son helped his grandfather prepare the ground for a new pool behind the house, work on a shed near the house, and repair a tombstone of a family member at the local cemetery. They have also enjoyed quite a few breakfasts out together. One thing the weather this summer hasn’t allowed much time for is the long bike rides my son and dad usually take.

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Maybe we can all find something fun to do when the weather breaks and we don’t have to sweat through it. Thanks to the flexibility of homeschooling we will be able to do that even if it happens right when classes start again.

So, how about you? How is summer treating you? Have you been able to take a lot of trips, go to the pool, play at the playground (with or without children), or take some long bike rides? Or have you been a slug, like me this summer?

 

 

Let’s focus on living instead of dying

People are depressed. I mean it, people. People all around me are depressed.

I can’t turn around without someone standing there or writing somewhere that they are in mourning. The people who are having family members dying, or announcing cancer or abuse is all around me these days. I don’t get why it seems to be happening more and more but it’s probably because I’m getting older. Maybe I was in a fog as a kid and don’t remember all the death and tragedy as much?

I don’t know.

Or maybe people simply tend to share more sadness than happiness and that’s why we are all in the gutter of attitudes some days. We need to share sadness and sadness will happen, it can’t be helped, so don’t get me wrong here.

My brother has been going on for a couple of weeks about he and his wife’s plan for deleting their social media. It’s a good thing but you would think it’s a religious experience for them with all the philosophical statements my brother makes. Or maybe he’s just dramatic (thank God I never am. Ha. Ha.)

My brother has been answering some who ask about his reason for kicking the big “fbook” to the curb, by saying he wants to “make the best of his remaining years.”

He turns 50 in June and in his world 50 is the new 80. But it seems to be where we all are these days (including me) – this impending sense of doom and negativity. We remind ourselves so often that “life is short” and “you never know WHEN YOU WILL DIE!!” in warnings that are supposed to be encouraging that we have forgotten to remind each other to simply live.

I get it. We only get one trip around the sun.

We all die.

Life is short.

That message has been drilled into my head a lot over the years and just in case I didn’t get it I lost three relatives in nine months and a handful of community members passed away as well.

Death is coming.

It’s around the bend.

The grim reaper stands at our door.

But not yet.

Being realistic about death is fine.

Being honest about it is important.

Grieving is important and talking about our grief is very important (so this is not meant as a scolding to those who are grieving), but for all that is good and holy stop reminding everyone they are on the path to death, finding ways to weave it into conversations.

About two years ago death loomed over me like a dark cloud. Test results and severe hypochondria coupled with a mental breakdown had made me decide I had blood cancer and there was no hope. Every day I thought of death and how it was coming and eventually I stopped living. My dog of 14-years died, my aunt’s health was not good, and my husband’s uncle passed away.

One day I was out in our yard trying to make a garden, though I didn’t know why because I was sure I wouldn’t be around the enjoy it. Suddenly I heard a voice within me say “Stop focusing on death and start focusing on living.”

The voice of God? I don’t know but I know I hadn’t been thinking any positive thoughts on my own for about three months at that point.

We can’t really live if all we do is think about how we are dying.

We need to remind people they are on the path of life and life is good much of the time. Maybe telling ourselves we are simply walking toward a new life in the after life is a better idea.

Soon spring will be here and flowers will bloom and birds will chirp and the sky will blue again.

Why don’t we all look toward that new life instead of the grave?