A friend of our family, of mine, died last Thursday.

I was already having a bit of a down day and struggling with a lot of memories and feelings from past events when I received the news that Shirley had died.

How dare Shirley die on one of those down days I have from time to time. Yes, I can say that with the utmost sarcasm, knowing that it would have cracked Shirley up if she heard me say it.

Shirley and I could exchange sarcastic retorts affectionately and easily anytime we were together, no matter how long it had been since we’d seen each other.

Her youngest daughter, Denise, and I have been friends since I was probably six or seven.

We visited the Davis family often when I was growing up and there was even a short time they lived with us, pitching their teepee in our backyard. Poor Gary, Shirley’s son, was the one who had to tell me when my 14-year-old dog died. My dad had gone to work and my mom was too emotional, if I remember correctly.

When I am down or feeling off kilter emotionally, I turn on either The Andy Griffith Show or The Dick VanDyke Show and on the day I heard Shirley died, I chose Dick VanDyke. I didn’t look at what the episode was about, I just clicked on it. I need laughter, and I needed it quickly.

The episode was entitled “Never Name A Duck.”

It was about Rob Petry, the main character, bringing home two baby ducks and Laura saying they couldn’t keep the ducks but then their son Richie saw the ducklings and begged to keep them. Rob and Laura agree but, sadly, the one duck, Oliver, dies. Stanley, the other duck, lives into adulthood but Laura and Rob notice one day that he is starting to look sick, similar to how Oliver did before he died.

Rob takes the duck to a vet and comes home without him.

Laura and Richie think Stanley has died, but Rob tells them he didn’t die; Rob just released him into a lake to be with other ducks because he was slowly dying in captivity. He didn’t belong in a human house. He belonged in nature with other ducks. It was what the vet suggested.

Richie is absolutely devastated and screams that if Stanley can’t live there, he doesn’t want to live there either. He runs from the living room, to his bedroom and slams the door.

Rob follows him and they have a heart-to-heart. He tells Richie he knows it hurts, but that by making Stanley stay in their home they were actually being selfish. Stanley was sad in their house. He needed to be with other ducks and in nature. That was his real home.

He asked Richie if he would want to take his goldfish out of its bowl and lay it on his pillow next to him at night.

“No,” Richie says tearfully.

“Why?” Rob asks.

“Because he’d die out of water,” Richie responds.

Rob explains that this was what was really happening to Stanley. He was slowly dying in their house.

In a similar way, we humans don’t belong on earth. Not really. This is not our ultimate home and we Christians believe our body is also temporary- a shell to hold our spirit or soul.

As Rob had this conversation with Richie, I immediately thought of Shirley.

Much like Richie didn’t want to let go of his duck, and I didn’t want to let go of my aunts and uncles and my grandparents and won’t want to let go of my parents one day, I don’t want to let go of Shirley.

I want Shirley here with us.

I want to hear her laughter and see her mischievous smile.

I want to watch her eat a whole watermelon drowned in salt.

I want to hear her preach again about the goodness of God despite all her family went through.

I want to hear her saying, “Oh, shut up, you” when I one-up her on the sarcasm level.

I want to hear her tell my parents, again, how much she loves them.

I have what Rob Petrh called selfish-love.

“I love Shirley. I want her here, so am I really being selfish?” I asked myself that day when I thought about this connection.

The answer that came to mind was, yes, I am selfish because Shirley is worshipping Jesus now.

She’s in his arms. Tom, her husband, and her children, Gary and Mechelle, are with her. They have surrounded her, and they are having what my family calls a group hug right now — a very long, very overdue group hug.

One day, a very, very long time from now, Denise will join them, so it is up to all of us to give Denise group hugs here on earth until God chooses to take her home.

It is selfish of me to want Shirley to leave all that beauty, all that glory, all that all-encompassing love and come back to all this pain and sadness here on earth.

She is where she was meant to be, created to be. Earth was never her permanent home, and it is not ours.

I once heard a story about a very young girl dying of cancer and shortly before she died, she took her mom’s hand and said, “Don’t worry, Mom. Heaven is closer than you think.”

Heaven is closer than we all think which means Shirley is also closer than we think.

Shirley is home, her real home, with her family and more importantly her creator. That home is also our home when we ask Jesus to forgive our sins and become our savior.

Shirley would want you to form a personal relationship with Jesus because she wants you there with her. Don’t make her eat all that watermelon on her own.

When it is time for you to leave this temporary home, when God decides it is your time, Shirley and Jesus are waiting for you.

They’ve left a seat for you, for all of us, at the table.