This is part of a 10 on 10 post I do with a fun group of photographers. We share ten photos from the previous month on the tenth day of the month. Find the next blog to follow at the bottom of my post.
My mind will spiral away into a hundred directions if I let, especially now on the day after my son’s eleventh birthday. It will wind down a future road we haven’t even seen yet and veer off trails along the way into a dark wood of the unknown.
He hugs me now, asks for me to sit with him and if he can just sit with me. There will be days when he won’t ask anymore, won’t want the hugs and the affection and I’ll regret the times I chose cooking or cleaning or photo editing over his hugs.
I feel the panic rise within me at the idea of him not asking for me to put my arms around him one day and I have to chase the thoughts away and focus on today not tomorrow. It’s a constant struggle for me, an over thinker, to stay grounded in the moment and not swerve into the future or sometimes even the past. But the past is gone. It doesn’t hold the same power of fear as the unknown, the unseen world of what’s ahead.
Each day I have to ask God to help me focus, to help me calm the racing thoughts that invade my spirit and to quiet the voices that whisper unspeakable horrors that could await me or my loved ones.
It’s a spiritual battle my mom reminds me and she gives me verses to write down and read daily. And I have been because without them my thoughts take flight and not in the way that lifts a person but in the way that drags a person down into a pit of fear, doubt, and destruction.
So today I focus on him. On his smile, on his laughter and on how he loves me, how he lets me hold he still, how he still likes to tell me about what interests him and what he dreams about, how he still holds my heart eleven years after I first held him in my arms and saw my soul in his eyes.
This is part of a monthly blog circle and collaboration with a group of ladies where we feature ten photos from either one day, one activity or from the previous month. Please find the link to the next person at the bottom of the post and follow the circle around. If you are a photographer and want to join in you can link up with us in our Facebook group.
September was unseasonably warm and October is showing it’s going to be the same. During the unseasonably warm weather Little Miss must have been hit with an extra burst of sass-driven energy because she’s decided she doesn’t need to listen, go to bed or sit in her car seat.
Her antics, and the fact I’m alone with her most days while The Boy is at school, means I seem to have quite a few more photos of her these days than him, but I assure my readers he is still creating his own brand of comical and hyperactive moments.
These are just ten of our visual highlights from September and the beginning of October.
Suddenly here we are in September and the weather is letting us know to prepare for winter as temperatures are dropping. I completely missed the 10 on 10 in August but I’m glad to be hosting one for September with a great group of photographers. This is a blog circle so you can follow each post to the next, each one full of beautiful photos and stories. See the bottom of my post for the link to the next person. We are also open to new members in the coming months so if you want to participate, find our group on Facebook . This month I thought I’d share some photos from summer’s end, or our last couple of weeks of summer when we tried to cram in as many outside activities as we could.
We visited a favorite campground with a pool and some friends before school started. My daughter and a friend’s daughter like to hang on the fence around the pool and small splash pad. I have a similar image from the same spot last year.
For the rest of the summer we mainly spent time in our backyard, enjoying the warmer and longer days.
We also enjoyed time at my parents in the country, tasting blueberries off my dad’s blueberry tree and eating watermelon.
Today is the day I showcase ten photos from the previous month as part of the 10 on 10 Lifestyle blog circle.
June was a month of discoveries and for me I discovered, or shall I say, finally admitted I am never going to have a photography business. Eight years of rejection is enough. We are told to keep pushing forward on our dreams but sometimes I think we have to know when one dream is dead and gone. That dream I had apparently was not God’s plan for me, at least not while I live where I am living now.
I have gone over and over in my head, trying to find the correct formula to make this business a success, but none of it has worked. Friends have assured me it’s not me or my photography, but even with price reductions no one would hire me. And without clients there is no budget for advertising so it’s a real catch 22.
I have even considered maybe I need to change my style, how I edit and what I shoot, but know that changing who I am to fit someone else’s view isn’t healthy for me over all. At that point one has to ask themselves if the dream has become an idol above all else. In my case, it’s possible that has been happening so laying it down is what needs to happen at this time.
In between the sadness of finally giving up on photographing clients, there has been fun with the children-water hose fights and pool time at their grandparents and simply exploring in general.
Be sure to follow the circle around by visiting Lauren Cypher next!
Suddenly 10 on 10 is here! This is a post to share ten photos from the previous month on the tenth day of the month, or ten photos from the same day posted on the tenth day of the month. Follow the circle around. (which I think is only two of us this month!) by continuing to Anna Hurley.
This post is part of the 10 on 10 blog circle with some other fun bloggers and photographers. To continue the circle click on the link at the end of the post.
Spring has finally started to come to the area with some warmer days, though you wouldn’t know it the last couple of weeks with all the rain and chilly temperatures.
We’ve been able to get outside and explore more and more, which is a welcome break from being stuck inside watching cartoons (my daughter is newly obsessed with a South Korean created cartoon called Tayo the Blue Bus and it is severely annoying.) or playing video games (my son’s main obsession.)
The only drawback to the warmer weather is my children expect an outing every day after school, which can often make dinner, homework and then bedtime late. Still, the lateness is worth it if it is a full day of fun and some sun, which seems to make almost any day better.
This is part of a 10 on 10 blog circle project where we post ten photos on the 10th day of the month. To continue the circle visit Jamie Machin’s blog
For 13 years you open a back door to let him out into the back yard; you feel him lick your hand when you open the front door, from his perch on the back of the couch which he’s jumped up on to greet you; you grumble because he’s in your foot space on the bed, again; you yell at him because he’s lifted his leg on your laundry; and you feel at ease because there he is, next to you on the couch, curled up against you to remind you someone loves you when you don’t even feel like you love yourself.
And then, one day, you notice he can’t move as well anymore. He’s slowing down. He’s sleeping more. He stops eating. Still, though, he finds a way to lay down with you on your bed, follow you and lean into you for attention, and you think about how blessed you are to have a creature so loyal, so dedicated to you even when you weren’t the perfect companion.
The vet said his body temp was 95 and should be 100-105 and that his blood glucose was so low it showed either cancer or liver disease and there was almost nothing they could do unless they hospitalized him and tried to pump him full of drugs. Even then they couldn’t guarantee he’d survive and he’d probably suffer even more. She said she didn’t think he’d even make it on the one hour drive home.
When I used to cry like this he’d come up and lick my face. He was always there when I was heartbroken. He knew I needed him, maybe even more than he needed me.
I feel so lonely here in this house, this evening of the day he didn’t come home. I know that sounds weird. I’m not alone. My family is here. God is here. But our little Copper offered me a sense of normalcy even when the world was spinning around me.
Sometimes you think, well it’s just a dog…right? But he wasn’t just a dog. He was family, he was a friend, he was comfort when nothing else was, he was normal when the world didn’t make sense; he was steady when everything else was off balance.
He knew when I needed comfort and companionship. Though it looked like he was seeking attention for himself by standing next to me and waiting to be petted, I think he knew I needed that time to slow down and touch him and be reminded that at least something was right with the world and he would be there when others couldn’t or wouldn’t be.
You are so missed, my little Copper, our “muttsley”, our mutt, our rescue pup, our very best friend.
“Beau” a poem by Jimmy Stewart
He never came to me when I would call Unless I had a tennis ball, Or he felt like it, But mostly he didn’t come at all.
When he was young He never learned to heel Or sit or stay, He did things his way.
Discipline was not his bag But when you were with him things sure didn’t drag. He’d dig up a rosebush just to spite me, And when I’d grab him, he’d turn and bite me.
He bit lots of folks from day to day, The delivery boy was his favorite prey. The gas man wouldn’t read our meter, He said we owned a real man-eater.
He set the house on fire But the story’s long to tell. Suffice to say that he survived And the house survived as well.
On the evening walks, and Gloria took him, He was always first out the door. The old one and I brought up the rear Because our bones were sore.
He would charge up the street with Mom hanging on, What a beautiful pair they were! And if it was still light and the tourists were out, They created a bit of a stir.
But every once in a while, he would stop in his tracks And with a frown on his face look around. It was just to make sure that the old one was there And would follow him where he was bound.
We are early-to-bedders at our house– I guess I’m the first to retire. And as I’d leave the room he’d look at me And get up from his place by the fire.
He knew where the tennis balls were upstairs, And I’d give him one for a while. He would push it under the bed with his nose And I’d fish it out with a smile.
And before very long He’d tire of the ball And be asleep in his corner In no time at all.
And there were nights when I’d feel him Climb upon our bed And lie between us, And I’d pat his head.
And there were nights when I’d feel his stare And I’d wake up and he’d be sitting there And I reach out my hand and stroke his hair. And sometimes I’d feel him sigh And I think I know the reason why.
He would wake up at night And he would have this fear Of the dark, of life, of lots of things, And he’d be glad to have me near.
And Now he’s dead. And there are nights when I think I feel him Climb upon our bed and lie between us, And I pat his head.
And there are nights when I think I feel that stare And I reach out my hand to stoke his hair, But he’s not there.
Oh, how I wish that wasn’t so, I’ll always love a dog named Beau.
It’s our first 10 on 10 for 2017 and I’m working with a new group of ladies this year! The 10 on 10 is ten photos from either a day or simply the previous month, posted on the tenth day of the month. After you read my post, scroll to the bottom to find the link to the next person in our circle and enjoy everyone’s photos. This month I’ve picked ten photos from our bath times this winter, which we really enjoy when it’s cold.