Saturday Afternoon Chat: Cozying down for winter and protecting my peace

/ Lisa R. Howeler

What I like about winter is that it forces me to slow down and really focus on the things that bring me joy.

“Winter?” you might say. “Isn’t it still fall?”

Technically, yes, but this week in addition to our temps falling, we had snow on the ground, which to me is the sign that winter is really here. Because of our steep driveway that tends to get slippery, I spend a lot of time at home in the winter.

When I am home, I try to keep things as cozy as I can, which means watching movies and reading books I find comforting and that aren’t full of dark subject matter that will remind me of dark moments of my past.  This past week, the little bubble I usually create around me this time of year was punctured against my will, so this week I will be doubling down on creating a cozy atmosphere around me.

This is even more important this week as our family lost a very close friend on Thursday.

I won’t be on social media much, and I will only be reading books and watching movies I feel comfortable with. Today, for example, I am reading a Nancy Drew book for my Nancy Drew in November. Nancy Drew books can sometimes be silly, but that is totally fine with me.

My family has asked me to turn off all news sites (not that I was on them much anyhow), social media, and even refrain from visiting a lot of blogs, so I can get some peace back before the next depressing thing in my life hits.

What depressing thing?

Who even knows?

They just keep coming, so I am actively searching for those little pockets of peace I once wrote about on the blog.

 That means that even if I only have an hour, half an hour or even a few minutes, I work to do something that will bring peace to my soul.

I do allow some cozy mysteries during this time because they’re usually fairly clean and light without super dark subject matters- other than murder. Ahem. However, even if a person dies in a cozy mystery, they don’t show or describe it or linger on suffering and I appreciate that these days.

Some might call me a prude or unrealistic or whatever they want to call me when I choose not to watch films with certain subject matters (cancer deaths, r*pe, suicide, incest, etc.) but quite frankly, I have hit the point in my life where I no longer care what others think.

I face enough sadness and heartbreak in my life, I sure as heck am not going to choose “entertainment” which offers the same.

This will sound selfish but this weekend, members of my family will have to figure out their own ways to get places or do things, or be entertained.

I am making a cup of cocoa, warming up my rice packs, putting on a favorite show and pulling my blanket around me in an attempt to keep my peace tight against me.

I know I can’t keep it all out.

There could be another tragedy, another sad call, another family member who isn’t feeling well or my husband’s former boss trying to get him fired yet again (two months from now,  Imma gonna let  loose on this subject.).

Those will be things I won’t be able to control.

For the things I can control, though?

Oh yeah — I’m going to control the ever-living heck out of those things. Because my soul doesn’t need to have any more sadness dumped on it – at least not by choice. I hope you all have a great weekend, and I’ll see you tomorrow for Sunday Bookends!

If you write book reviews or book-related blog posts, don’t forget that Erin and I host the A Good Book and A Cup of Tea Monthly Bookish Blog Party. You can learn more about it here.

I also post a link-up on Sundays for weekly updates about what you are reading, watching, doing, listening to, etc.

Hello! Welcome to my blog. I am a blogger, homeschool mom, and I write cozy mysteries.

You can find my Gladwynn Grant Mystery series HERE.

You can also find me on Instagram and YouTube.

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19 thoughts on “Saturday Afternoon Chat: Cozying down for winter and protecting my peace”

  2. I’m sorry for your family’s loss. It’s a very good plan to back off from news sites, etc. – I’ve told Matthew to do that, too. And I’ve pulled back from being a leader to being a foot soldier with one of my volunteer positions so I bring less stress and drama into the house. We do what we need to do. Take care of yourself / yourselves x

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  3. I’m sorry for your loss too. I won’t be online much either in the next few weeks other than checking my blog for comments and reading my faves (yours included). You’re doing the right thing….self care. It’s what we mamas often forget to do but need to for our minds and hearts.

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  4. Pingback: Sunday Bookends: Loss and comfort reading, watching | Boondock Ramblings

  6. Sorry for your loss. I know exactly what you mean, sometimes writing it out helps for me…but that’s trauma dumping for someone else. Write it out, all those feelings and throw it away or hit the delete button, which I have done so many times just to release it. Also, a good long prayer and giving it to God is the best answer I have learn. Walking side by side in His peace while we heal from those tragic moments in our life is always the best medicine. I watched a whole season of Downtown Abbey once when I loss someone I dearly loved, we drove up to our little cabin and a friend of mine had mailed me the DVD set, so I sat in my wing back chair and watched that whole series that weekend, just to calm my mind. Take a break from this mess, and just heal and treat yourself with lots of love, I will continue to keep you, and many more in my prayers.

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      • I had to turn off comments because of a family member who is mentally unwell that stalks me. She found my blog a couple years ago and now I have to shut off comments because she also sends others to comment on my site to harass me. I come from a very toxic family. I won’t go into details about that though. I was going to shut the blog down but I like to share prayers and answered prayers with others. I believe we are in a spiritual battle so me shutting down my site would allow this disturbed cousin of mine to win if I did that. She would love that. I am not the only one she has targeted, I am just her main obsession, since we were children. She loves chaos and even celebrated a certain Christian passing that was in the news, a very well known christian who just passed in a tragic way, my cousin was very happy about that…she celebrates all things chaotic. We have been different since we were children growing up together. I believe she is under the influence of evil…so that may make me sound crazy…and that’s okay, just my honest opinion. I am just trying the best I can now to keep her away from me personally. We even had to hire a lawyer and have contacted our police department where we moved to let them know about our situation. Sorry about the comments off, this cousin went all the way back in my archives to start leaving comments, and she changes her social media sites to continue to harass people. So I shut down comments to keep peace in my life. I even went all the way back in my archives to shut off all comments from those sites as well. It’s unnerving.

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  7. I’m very sorry for your loss.
    As you know, I totally get that you have to carve out those moments for yourself. I often regretted I wasn’t better at that in the past, but there comes an age when you have to learn about taking care of yourself without regret. I really hope it will be doing you good.

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  8. Oh, Lisa, I’m so very sorry for your loss. I think you are right to “gather the wagons” and create your own little peaceful haven…not that you need my permission. If we don’t take care of ourselves, who is going to? Unfortunately, as wonderful as our husbands and family may be, we both know we are the major caregivers in our families. So, cuddle up, sip your hot beverage, and watch or read what you want because you definitely get to choose! We will be here waiting for you whenever it’s right for you to come back.

    https://marshainthemiddle.com/

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    • Thank you. I’ll probably do some blog posts but other social media and the news is going away for just a bit while I try to calm my nervous system. I do that this time of year anyhow but need it extra right now.

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  10. So sorry to hear you had bad news this week. I also tend to stay away from the grittier shows and books and such nowadays. For me, I think it was having a kid and everything becoming more real. As you know, I watch a lot of Murder She Wrote as well. 🙂 I also like Shakespeare and Hathaway (BBC show, but on Hallmark+). I hope that you’re able to find some comfort and coziness this weekend and that next week is better. Sending good vibes your way!

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