A slow mental recovery from COVID

by Lisa R. Howeler, posted in everyday musings

I’m slowly mentally recovering from my five-day hospital stay from COVID.

I was on a low flow (very low) of oxygen for about two days but had to stay longer to finish an antiviral treatment which may or may not have helped (there are mixed studies on it). I had to take five doses over five days.

I went into the hospital on Thanksgiving night. I’d been sick for about nine or ten days by then. I went to the ER when my pulse ox seemed to drop. The ER doctor admitted me and at first, it looked like I would have to travel to a hospital more than three hours from my house. That thought terrified me and my husband.

By some kind of miracle, a bed was found at our local hospital (larger than the one I went to for the ER), about 45 minutes from our house.

There is so much I could write about all this and so much I want to, but I’m not totally mentally there to do so.

This was the scariest situation I have ever been in in my life.

I relied completely on Christ. I felt his peace even when I didn’t know how I was feeling it. I wasn’t perfect in my faith, don’t get me wrong. I had doubts but when everything else is taken away from you all you have is God.

I couldn’t have visitors, or at least as far as I knew. I was truly alone other than the amazing staff and nurses. Well, and God, as I’ve already mentioned.

My roommate almost died Saturday night, two days before I left. That was so hard. I prayed over her and even rubbed her shoulders at one point and prayed for her o2 levels to come up. By laying on her side they would come up and at that moment it rose from the low 80s up to 98 as I prayed. I don’t know what really happened, but I was so grateful to see that number.

The staff was doing all they could to keep her off the vent. I called Wednesday to see how she was and the staff can’t tell me much since I am not family but they did say she was still there. I took that as a good sign that she had not been sent to the ICU yet. It is also possible they couldn’t get her in the ICU as there is a huge surge in our area right now.

I am now keeping track of seven people battling COVID in our area. They are a mix of vaccinated and unvaccinated, which is who was in the COVID unit at our hospital, according to the nurses and staff. This virus isn’t discerning at this point, unfortunately. We just need to get on our hands and knees and pray to God for it to get better soon and for the doctors to keep finding ways to treat people as best as they can.

When I was in the hospital the attitude was very positive. There was no negative talk allowed about what could happen, other than realistic reports on how we were doing in our care.

They had us lay on our stomachs for an hour at a time every four hours. We were given low dose steroids, cough medication, albuterol every four hours or so, low dose blood thinner shots in our stomachs once a day to prevent blood clots, any regular meds, encouraged to walk around and also given a breathing device to strengthen our lungs. And we all, pretty much all, were on a drug that some say can affect your kidneys, but our kidneys were tested through blood work at least twice during our stays.

My lungs remained clear my entire stay, thank God, even though I had an annoying cough. The cough medicine was mainly an exportent (sorry, I can’t spell that and am too lazy to look it up.)to keep the mucous thin and loose.

So, I’m home.

It’s been a weird journey since being home too.

I have an internal tremor that started a day or so after my symptoms started on the 16th of November. That’s pretty intense, especially when the anxiety kicks in but it’s similar to tremors I had after my 14-year old dog died in 2017. Doctors couldn’t figure that out then and the nurses were bewildered this time, other than to say the virus puts a huge amount of stress on the body of patients and they believe it’s a mix of that and insane anxiety.

Oddly, as I am typing this the internal tremor is better. A lot better. Hmmm..maybe getting back to writing and sharing with my lovely blog readers is helping to distract me. Praise Jesus!

I’m sure I’ll write more about all of this in future blog posts. Or maybe I won’t. I don’t know how much I can handle writing about it all. Even thinking about it is very traumatic at this time.

Thank you to those of you who prayed and who I know will continue to pray now.

Stay safe out there everyone but don’t live in fear. God has us, one way or another! (remind me of this when I find myself doubting again!)

Published by Lisa R. Howeler

Welcome to my blog! I am a wife and mom from Pennsylvania who also happens to write. I have been writing for 25 years, fourteen of those for smalltown newspapers in rural Pennsylvania and upstate New York. When I'm not writing about love, faith, and family life in a small town, I'm taking photographs and homeschooling my two children and also writing and publishing fiction. I blog a little bit about a lot of things on my blog Boondock Ramblings at www.lisahoweler.com.

27 thoughts on “A slow mental recovery from COVID”

  1. Pingback: Saturday Afternoon Chat: I can’t smell. I can’t taste. But I can feel the wind on my face. – Boondock Ramblings

  2. Praying your feeling better and strengthened by Him each day.

    I love the truth and direction you noted here:
    ‘This virus isn’t discerning at this point, unfortunately. We just need to get on our hands and knees and pray to God for it to get better soon and for the doctors to keep finding ways to treat people as best as they can.’
    Through Him all things are possible.

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  8. I’m so glad you’re home! I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all this but I’m glad you shared. Not once have I seen anyone talk about the mental impacts of covid. You’re still in my thoughts and prayers!!

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    1. Thank you, Michelle. Yeah, I don’t know why people don’t talk about the mental affects. Honestly, though, I didn’t even hear much about how bad the physical effects are!

      Maybe most people just breeze through it better than I did. I don’t know. I do deal with anxiety other times anyhow so maybe that made me more susceptible to the mental fog and internal tremors. I have now read some more about the bad brain fog, though, even from people who didn’t have anxiety issues prior to getting this. I’m hoping I won’t be what some are calling a long hauler of Covid. I don’t need anymore medical labels. Lol.

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    2. I should add that my family says the trauma of being in the hospital, hooked up to oxygen, etc. would freak anyone out pretty bad so they don’t only point to my anxiety issues as the reason for some of my side effects. Being taken away from m family and having to stay there five days while my roommate almost died, etc. would probably be enough to send anyone over a bit of a mental edge! Lol!

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  9. Shots. In. Your. Stomach. Omg I would be a basket case if I had to do that. I’m such a big baby about needles.

    Wow. How truly terrifying. I’m so glad you’re home now and hope you keep getting better!

    Hang in there!

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  10. I’ve been away from blogging for a while and was startled to see this! I’m so sorry you had to go through it, but glad you are on the mend. I will pray for you as well.

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  11. Goosebumps, every time I read about Jesus and his miracles I always get goosebumps. It gets my eyes tearing some when I think about the love God has for us all. What a scary experience and how kind of you to pray for others while you were going through that. The angels walk those hospital halls every moment of everyday and God always hears our prayers. I will try to design some coloring pages for you to print up and anyone else that may need some relaxing things to do, to keep their mind calm as you heal emotionally and physically. I will figure out a way to put it in a post or something and send you the link. Knowing you pulled through, makes it seem like Christmas right now., what a beautiful gift. This Christmas will be one where many miracles will happen I believe. God is so good.

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      1. Later this week I will work on that post and pages to print. I think coloring will help with the tremors too. Try not to think about it happening again. I have heard that when you have it, your natural immunity is very strong, at least for a few months. I am no doctor but when my cousin got it a year ago, and she freaked out too, her husband is a paramedic for the fire department and he had to talk her through a panic attack in the beginning, well she was fine for months after she healed. They travel a lot since their youngest son is a hockey player. She hasn’t gotten it again and they are always out around people at sporting events.

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  13. Oh Lisa, praise God for His protection over you and all those caring for you! What a blessing that you could pray for your roommate in the midst of your own struggle. That us a true Testament to the grace of God in your life. I am continuing to pray for God’s touch and healing for you–body, soul, and spirit. We are so affected mentally by the physical things that happen to us! May you feel His peace still covering you now. Love and hugs dear friend.

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