Faithfully Thinking: Honestly, I don’t have it in me

by Lisa R. Howeler, posted in Faithfully Thinking

I had thought about writing a post about trusting God, accepting God’s peace over the chaos of the world, but honestly, I don’t have it in me.

I was going to write about how when people abandon you, it’s okay because God is still there. Honestly? I don’t have it in me.

I was going to write how people are actually really good at heart and actually would care if you died, but . . . honestly. My heart is not in it.

That’s reality.

Sometimes we don’t even believe our own words.

Maybe we have to keep saying it until we do?

Published by Lisa R. Howeler

Welcome to my blog! I am a wife and mom from Pennsylvania who also happens to write. I have been writing for 25 years, fourteen of those for smalltown newspapers in rural Pennsylvania and upstate New York. When I'm not writing about love, faith, and family life in a small town, I'm taking photographs and homeschooling my two children and also writing and publishing fiction. I blog a little bit about a lot of things on my blog Boondock Ramblings at www.lisahoweler.com.

12 thoughts on “Faithfully Thinking: Honestly, I don’t have it in me”

  1. Big prayers headed your way, I will be praying for you and your beautiful family. This, what we are all experiencing right now, is a rough road and on top of all that you are smack dab in the middle of a move. Moving is at the top of the list when it comes to stressful life situations and your move involves a world with a pandemic in it…no fun there. I take each day as it comes and every day I wake up feeling good and having my family healthy and okay by my side is a BIG THANK YOU and the rest I will deal with as it happens. There is a whole lot of stuff happening right now in my family and family over seas that hurts my heart so I keep praying that we all get back to some sort of normal. I hope your weekend is good and filed with a whole lot of peace.

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  2. It’s being brutally honest with yourself when you don’t have it in you as it seems the world is falling apart. We all feel this way at times if we’re honest and don’t resort to platitudes instead of reality. We just have to keep going one step at a time, one day at a time, and keep praying, I think.

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    1. I think so too. That’s what I’m doing this weekend. A detox from media of all sorts. Reading, getting into God’s word and listening to sermons and worship music. I hope it sets me up in the right week for a stressful week to come and I think it will…

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  5. I’m not the best at this, either, but I’ve learned that I feel God and His reasons most when I seek Him, read Him, and talk to Him.

    (As such, I believe I’ve intentionally been distant out of anxious fear.)

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