I finally decided I’m going to self publish a book. Then I threw up.

by Lisa R. Howeler, posted in books and reading, everyday musings

Life is short, right? So why do we hold ourselves back from doing what we want? I decided over a year ago I wasn’t going to let fear and doubt hold me back but then I let fear and doubt hold me back anyhow.

Last week I decided I’m going to write a book, or maybe more than one, and self-publish it on Amazon or somewhere similar this year. Why not, right? The worst thing that can happen is no one buys it or reads it. Not many read what I write now so it won’t be any different and at least I can say I accomplished something I set my mind to. And please understand, I’m not complaining that not many people read what I write. I like that I don’t have tons of readers. When you have tons of readers you have tons of people ready to complain. As it stands now I receive very few complaints and if I do they’re from family, who I tend to ignore anyhow, so that’s no big deal. (I’m kidding about the family comment, family, so don’t complain – again.)

I have already been sharing the one book I plan to publish, but, of course, I have a lot of rewriting and updating to do with it – not too mention a lot of editing for typos and misspelled words. I’m only sharing it now for fun because I truly don’t have enough fun in my life. I’m boring, sick a lot, and have no friends. Seeing that last sentence in writing makes me realize I also forgot to mention I’m depressed. Seeing that last sentence about depression in writing makes me realize how I talk about depression too much and should also add that even though I deal with depression, I do have a sense of humor and this sentence is part of that weird sense of humor.

The story I am working on now isn’t the only story I want to tell. I have ideas for three other stories or books at this point and I’m excited to see where they lead me.

So how about you – have you ever published a book? Or a short story? Or a dissertation or a recipe or a  . . . okay, I’ll stop now.

If you haven’t published your writing – why not? What’s stopping you?

Maybe it’s fear like me – fear that it will suck, fear that everyone will hate it, fear that no one will read it and fear that someone will.

Share your experiences with me in the comments. I’m curious – truly – this isn’t a ploy to encourage comments on my blog. Not this time at least.

 

 

Published by Lisa R. Howeler

Welcome to my blog! I am a wife and mom from Pennsylvania who also happens to write. I have been writing for 25 years, fourteen of those for smalltown newspapers in rural Pennsylvania and upstate New York. When I'm not writing about love, faith, and family life in a small town, I'm taking photographs and homeschooling my two children and also writing and publishing fiction. I blog a little bit about a lot of things on my blog Boondock Ramblings at www.lisahoweler.com.

14 thoughts on “I finally decided I’m going to self publish a book. Then I threw up.”

  1. I’ve self-published, but am amazingly bad at self-promotion, so stopped self-publishing and now only post my writings to my blog, where I actually manage to get a reader here and there.

    I’m really enjoying the story you’re posting, so I’m interested to see what else you have. If you’d like, I’d love to help promote your book when you publish it. I have a particular fondness for supporting self-published authors.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Thanks, Kat. That would be nice of you. I don’t know if I will really self-publish or not. I’ll probably just put it up as an ebook on Google. Apparently it costs a lot to really self publish and I”m broke. And to actually publish you have to find a literary agent – I have no idea where to even start with that and since we will be moving this year, I’m homeschooling, and I’m generally mentally overwhelmed, I probably won’t go that route.

      Liked by 1 person

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        1. It is busy but working on the book ideas I have in my head is really helping me feel like I’m working toward something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time. And it’s a distraction from a bit of a lonely time in my life too.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey! I’m family and… Yeah, that’s all I have to say on that. I think you need to not only compile fiction but nonfiction too. Stories about dare I say it?… Family! No, not me, but Mom, Dad, Grandma, Aunt Eleanor, Doris, ancestors.

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  5. Alright, I’ll share 🙂 I wrote a book. A crappy (see what I’m doing there?), young adult teen romance angsty novel. I have NOTHING against that type of book…in fact, I love them. So why haven’t I published it? Great question…and it’s along the same reasons you have, fear. I have to edit it still, write an extra chapter or two, but otherwise, I wrote it. I finished it. I’m afraid it stinks (even though my husband says otherwise), I’m afraid my family will read it and forever judge me (they already do so what am I actually afraid of here?). I’m afraid it won’t sell. I’m afraid it will and then I might have to actually talk to people (comfortable introvert here). See…I know they are silly fears. I KNOW it, but they still hold me back. So I say, good for you! Go for it! You can do it! We are cheering you on! God Bless!

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. We should just publish an ebook on amazon and be done with it, right? Maybe we should proof and edit each other’s books and then just self publish them! I set a deadline for the end of the summer to finish my book and get it proofed. I’m really trying to stick to it. What can it hurt? I have no friends now, a big chunk of my family doesn’t speak to me because I’m not “cool” or whatever so who cares if a bunch of strangers hate me too, right?! 😂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. It should be really straightforward…just write the book and publish it, who cares what anyone thinks! (If only this were true, lol) At least at the end of the day, you can say you did it! But seriously, go for it. Do it. I would gladly proof read for you 🙂 Being cool is completely overrated anyways 😉 And how many strangers who end up either liking or hating the book can say they put themselves and their work out there like that?? Go for it!!

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