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I’ve written a lot on social media or my blog that what I like to do is photograph moments, not poses.
So what are moments anyhow?
What do I mean by moments?
You know when your son sits on your lap, even when he’s been asked to, and sometimes, even though at first he didn’t want to sit there, he looks up at you and you look down, or over, at him and then suddenly you both smile, maybe because you feel a bit stupid just looking at each other? Then you start laughing and shrugging your shoulders at the silliness of it all?
That’s a moment.
You know when your daughter says, “daddy, can I have a shoulder ride?” and you pick her up and set her on your shoulder because you know that one day she’ll be too big to do that?
That’s a moment.
You know when your family is at the playground and your son yells “higher mommy!!” And so you push him higher and higher and he laughs as the wind whooshes by him on his way up and down.
That’s a moment.
You know when your spouse catches you rolling your eyes at something she or he has said and then grins and tries to tell you he or she was just kidding?
That’s a moment.
Or how about when your cutting up your child’s pancakes for them? Or walking them to school? Or rocking them to sleep? Or comforting them when they’re hurt?
All moments.
Or what about when your elderly mother looks at you from across the table and she smiles because you’ve become the person she always knew you would be and she couldn’t be more proud.
Moments.
Seconds frozen in time by the click of a shutter.
Images that when you look at them will transport you to a feeling.
Smell.
Taste.
Place.
Person.
Home.
That’s what I mean by capturing moments not poses.
Because with poses you stop, you smile and you become someone else but in moments you never lose sight of who you really are.
“I’m hungry.”
It’s not what she said that drove me crazy, it’s when she said it.
It was midnight.
.
Bedtime had been stretched out insanely long for months now, something I hope to remedy soon, and my last straw was being asked to get a snack at midnight.
.
By a 3-year old. By my 3-year old.
.
Right then I acted like a very mature, 40-year old woman and flounced out of the room and told her if she wanted a snack she could go get one BY HERSELF!!!. I was done with dealing with hungry toddlers whining at me in the middle of the night. I shut the bathroom door and pouted in the dark for maybe two minutes before she opened the door and I remembered we still hadn’t got a lock for that blasted door. .
She was whimpering at me in the dark and looking pitiful and of course I felt even more guilty about it all so I led her to my room where I knew there was one of those applesauce squeezable packs, tucked away in my purse in those days we are out somewhere and she says she’s hungry. I gave it to her, reminding myself she’s a little girl and she can’t help it if she gets hungry at midnight. Even I get hungry at midnight sometimes. .
It also wasn’t her fault that her mom hadn’t stopped her and her brother’s playing and told them it was time for bed much earlier in the evening than I had. .
I took her to bed, telling her I loved her, and then I laid in the dark after she was asleep and felt guilty for yelling at her and her brother right at bedtime. I kissed her head so many times I’m surprised I didn’t wake her.
.
Being a parent is hard. Harder than I ever imagined. We all have tough days and boy do we blow it sometimes. Even when we blow it we love them and they love us. We all make mistakes and fall right on our faces in this parenting journey. .
Maybe you feel you have failed this week too. You’re not alone. What makes you a good parent is recognizing you’re not perfect, apologizing when you need to, and not being afraid to admit your mistakes. When our children know we can admit when we’ve made a mistake then they know that mistakes are always going to be made but we can always learn how to improve from them.
Little girls in dresses, boys in bike helmets and puppies tugging on clothes to get attention. That’s what these days are made of. #documentarycaptured #documentary #storytellingmama
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