I’m in the kitchen trying to perfect a Ree Drummond recipe but every few moments my oldest is shouting that the cat is on his Lego table knocking pieces off to smack around on the floor or the youngest is holding an empty bowl and asking me when she can have “port top” (pork chop).
She’s looking up at me like a child from Oliver Twist, big green eyes, pitiful and pleading. One would think she hadn’t eaten in days, instead of five minutes before when her cheeks were full of apples.
Let’s be honest, I know I’m no Ree Drummond, whose children aren’t under foot when she cooks, or at least when she films for her show, but it would be nice to have at least twenty minutes uninterrupted to try to complete a new recipe (incidentally one of the Pioneer Woman’s. I had to leave out the grits because I’m allergic to corn.).
If I only have two children and a cat interrupting me then I have no idea how parents with more than two children cook, although they might have the benefit of an extra parent to help out. Extra help is rarely a luxury here thanks to my husband’s late afternoon to late night schedule and most of the time I really don’t mind.
On this day the ultimate interruption came between cooking the apple part of the recipe and browning the pork chops.
I heard the footsteps and the words before I even looked away from the cast iron pan the chops were sizzling in.
“Mama. I jus’ poop!”
I remember at that moment how Jonathan told me earlier his sister had stripped down naked. And sure enough she’s standing before me in her natural state pointing toward – not the bathroom – but the dining room.
“What do you mean you pooped? In the potty? You pooped in the potty?”
I knew she didn’t poop in the potty. Call it a intuition. Call it a horrible dreading feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“No. Right der. ” She was still pointing in the dining room.
“Where?” I asked, somewhat frantic to find “it” before my or my son’s feet did.
“Der! Under table!”
And indeed it was there.
Under the table.
Looking much different than it does squished in against her little tush in her diaper.
Yes, be thankful this is one of those life moments I didn’t photograph.
Unlike other similar events in the past (though this was the first pooping on the floor incident) I was able to stay calm and instead of asking “what were you thinking?!”because she wasn’t, because she’s two, I kept myself calm and used this as a learning experience for us both.
I ushered her into the bathroom and reminded her that was where we went when we had to poop, not under the dining room table.
She sat on the potty but let me know she didn’t have anymore poop left so I suggested she pee, which she did.
We celebrated and then I made sure she was instantly clad in a diaper before I let her loose in the house again.
I mentally committed to quickly respond with running to her with a diaper if I ever heard again, “Gracie just took all her clothes off.”
And despite all the interruptions, I managed not to burn dinner.